25. Talya
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
TALYA
W hat else?” Kasen asked.
We were curled up on a lounge chair within the nest of blankets I’d brought outside. The sun beat down on my face, and there was a cool breeze nipping at my skin. It was perfect weather. An enchanted atmosphere.
“Umm,” I said as I thought about it. “Oh! My favorite thing. I can’t believe I forgot. There’s a website called Omega Forums where only omegas can log in. We make online names and chat with other omegas. It’s not as heavily policed as the Omega Registry, but the two have been more closely linked together in the last couple years. They’re trying to make it so the only way to make an account on Omega Forums is to have an account on Omega Registry.”
“To keep betas and alphas out?” Kasen asked.
“Yes, but it’s not so much about exclusion as it sounds. It’s a safe place where we can ask advice about our situations and what we’re going through. We can find others who have been through the same things and can help us. Just like betas go through things that are their own and omegas can’t understand it. Same with alphas.”
Kasen nodded. “Tell me about it. Did you have friends there?”
For someone who said he didn’t want to be an omega, he wanted to know everything. My entire life experience. Everything that directly resulted from my designation. At first, I thought that maybe he had a hidden desire to be an omega after all, but when he started explaining things from his perspective, I decided that maybe he just wanted to understand.
I wasn’t going to lie. I’d gotten some helpful insight about past experiences that I now understood better because he explained what those around me—betas—were likely thinking and going through. How they interpreted what they saw.
Their judgment wasn’t always fair, and I couldn’t say I understood why an entire designation hated another for something completely out of their control. I didn’t ask to be born an omega, just as betas didn’t ask to be born betas, so holding it against me was just an asshole thing to do.
“I had two pretty close friends. PackTease, I knew before she found her pack. I got to experience her excitement when she found them on Pack Listing, when she met them, when they were courting her, and now that she’s a full member of their pack.”
Kasen grinned. “That’s really cool.”
I nodded. “Yep. I learned a lot. But the biggest takeaway I got from PackTease is what it’s supposed to feel like when you meet your pack. I’m thankful I learned that by watching her early on because I’m afraid I might have tried to make it work somewhere.”
He shook his head. “No. You shouldn’t do that.”
“I know, but we’d been looking forever , and it just felt hopeless. I’m not oblivious or na?ve. I know how difficult it was for Colby to take care of us both on his own.”
Kasen squeezed my hand. “I bet if you asked him, he’d much rather continue to take care of you on his own than you both being stuck in a pack that you hated and didn’t treat you right.”
I sighed. “I know. Like I said, I’m glad I learned that early on.”
We were quiet for a minute before he asked, “You said there were two friends?”
Grinning, I nodded. “The other was a guy named IamOmegaDik.”
Kasen giggled. “That’s a great name!”
Laughing, I agreed. “He was a lot like me yet entirely different. He’d been through just as many packs as I had at this point, but unlike me, there was no alpha holding him back. He just hasn’t found the pack he clicks with.”
“Really?” Kasen’s eyes were wide.
“Yep. I think he’s in his thirties, based on a conversation we had a… well, a few months ago, I guess. I have no idea how much time has passed since… I left there.” Silence passed between us for a moment before I shook my head and focused back on what I was talking about. “He stopped looking at Pack Listing and lets them come to him because he’s so discouraged. He meets packs that show interest, and sometimes he even lets them court him for a while but always ends up breaking it off.”
“Why?”
I shook my head. “Honestly, I’m not sure he even knows at this point. He’s constantly saying how he’s broken. He says it teasingly, but… I think he means it deep down. I don’t know what he’s looking for any more than he does, but I do know that he hasn’t found it yet.”
“That’s really sad.”
“It is. He’s been on Omega Forums for so long that he can rattle off names of unpacked omegas who have vanished over the years. There are… more than you’d like to know, probably. He’s terrified of being one of them, which I think only leads to more frustration because he thinks that he needs to just choose a pack in order to be safe, but he doesn’t want any of the packs he’s met.”
Kasen sighed. “You know, I’ve always hated how dark the world is for omegas. You guys live in fear right up until you’re in a pack. You go from your parents’ home to your pack home and never get to experience life.”
“Yep. But…” I bit my lip as I remembered the people I’d found during my search for Colby the day we were rescued. “Omegas might be the designation the world knows is hunted, but, Kasen, I think that’s changing.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, looking at me with his eyebrows knitted together.
Taking a breath, I gripped his hand under the blanket. “The place that we were,” I whispered, swallowing the lump in my throat as phantom sounds and screams and alarms echoed distantly in my head. I shuddered. “The day we were rescued, I was searching for Colby. I… opened other doors. It wasn’t just omegas I found, Kasen. There were alphas and betas too. All… in the same shape I was in.”
The horror in his eyes sent chills over my skin. “You’re serious.”
“Yes. I wasn’t quite as surprised to find the alphas because they’d taken Colby when they took me. Later, we learned that he was the real target.” The shock in Kasen’s eyes was almost comical. Under different circumstances, it would have been. “But I was definitely surprised to find the betas there.”
Kasen’s jaw hung open. “Oh my god.”
“I don’t know what happened to them because my only focus was finding my alpha, but there was no mistaking those I saw. Scents don’t lie.”
He shuddered and closed his eyes. “That changes… everything. No one is safe. Why hasn’t everyone been told?”
“Probably so there isn’t widespread panic,” I mused. “Can you imagine the state the world would be in if there was a worldwide bulletin that everyone was now being hunted by the… black market? I don’t know. Whoever these people are.”
He shook his head. “No. I can’t. But is silence the answer? Keeping everyone in the dark?”
I laughed without humor. “Colby said the same thing to the police. How can we know what we’re supposed to be looking out for if we don’t know we’re in danger at all?”
“What an ugly world,” Kasen said.
“It is. Sometimes I’m not sure surviving is the kinder finality. Those memories never leave. They live loudly in my nightmares and all around me. And then there’s everyone we had to leave behind without explanation. They don’t know what happened to us! I keep picturing Fenton getting home and finding the man that Colby beat with a bat on the floor and us missing. What he must be going through.”
“Fenton was?”
“My best friend, my only friend. A beta I met in school. He was literally the only person who lowered themselves to talk to an omega.”
Kasen snorted. “I guess maybe I’m lucky. When I was a kid, I lost my pack to a house fire. I’m not even entirely sure how I got out. The only one I left behind was the alpha who was courting me, and that was rough but… we’d only just met. It’d been like three months. I didn’t go through something like the rest of you did. Not me , specifically. I was an accidental witness to an omega sale. I’m here for my safety because I saw their faces.”
“You saw an omega sale?” I asked, horrified.
He gave me a sad smile. “I did. I didn’t understand what I was seeing at first, but when I did, I called 911. They caught the guys who’d purchased the omega. I imagine that the omega is also in witness protection, but the guys who sold her got away. I saw their faces, Talya, and I described them in detail to the police. That’s why I’m here. I just vanished from my life, too.”
“I understand why. I do. But I can’t help but think about how cruel that is to everyone we left behind. Just tell them we’re dead! That has to be better than living fifty years without ever knowing, right?”
“Who’s to say they don’t?” Kasen asked, shrugging.
“I got the impression that other than the initial information being relayed at the time of the crime, there would be no further details shared,” I said.
“I guess I’m not surprised. I had a few friends back then and the alpha who was courting me. The family who took me in when my familial pack died. But I suppose that most of my life I never felt truly connected to anyone. Subconsciously, I was probably afraid of losing them like I did my family.”
“You’re bonded now though, aren’t you?” I asked.
Kasen nodded with a big grin. “Yep!”
“So things have changed. You’re less afraid of that now.”
His head tilted from side to side as he considered this. “I’m probably one of those betas that alphas hated. I did chase alphas, but I also didn’t have any problem attracting them. I’m not trying to brag or anything, but I had my pick.” His grin was proud.
I laughed. “Fenton was the same way but not. He didn’t chase alphas, but he had his pick, too. Interestingly enough, he turned them all down. I witnessed one of the rejections, and the bafflement on the alpha’s face when Fenton denied their courting request had me cracking up.”
Kasen laughed. “Oh my god, I know! They’d get so confused. It’s hilarious. Some get violent, though. I experienced that once. Thankfully, there were others around. I’m fortunate that an alpha’s innate response is to protect, so others stepped in before he hurt me. I’d like to think I got wiser in choosing the alphas I chased.”
Chuckling, I let my head fall back and closed my eyes, enjoying the sun beating down on my face.
“But I guess my point is that my desire for a pack was different. It wasn’t driven by a bond or desire for what an omega had. I wanted a family. Mine had been ripped from me when I was so young that all I wanted growing up was a family that was mine. I wanted to be safe, which was probably why I sought out alphas as opposed to other betas. Alphas mean protection and safety and… care, you know? That’s what we’re taught in school.”
“That’s what you’re taught?” I asked, tilting my head.
He gave me a bemused smile. “Yep. When we’re broken up into designation studies? We’re basically fed this narrative about how amazing alphas and omegas are. Betas are boring. Common. Everywhere. We contribute nothing to a pack, and thus, we’re unwanted by alphas and omegas.”
My jaw dropped. “You’re kidding me. They say that?”
“I summarized, but yes.”
“No wonder betas hate omegas.” I shook my head.
Kasen shrugged. “Meh. We’re free to make our own decisions. I decided a long time ago that I didn’t truly care about designation. I probably chased alphas because of unresolved mommy and daddy issues. My parents didn’t raise me. They were ripped away from me, and I was left in a foster system overcrowded by unwanted or orphaned children. There was no safety. No stability. No familiar bonds or love. We were taught that everything I was lacking in my life was built into an alpha’s DNA. It was their genetics. Their intrinsic reflex was everything that I craved. The bond meant little to me at the time. I just wanted to be loved and protected. Wanted.”
I leaned forward and rested my head on his shoulder. I loved the comfort it brought me to have this level of connection between us. Friendship. There’s a different kind of contentment that comes with that, one which I found meant just as much as the closeness with my alpha. Or… alphas.
“It wasn’t until I was dropped into Blakely and Lohtus’ laps that I truly found exactly what I was missing in my life. They gave me everything without me needing to say a word. Without me telling them what I needed or wanted. They just knew. They gave me a family and… yeah.”
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I hugged him. Kasen laughed through a sniffle. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get sappy or anything.”
“No, it’s okay. I can’t believe the life you’ve lived. I’m horrified at the things betas are taught!”
He huffed quietly. “It’s shit. I question who wrote that program.”
“An alpha, a bitter alpha. A beta wouldn’t talk about their own designation that way, and omegas aren’t allowed to be productive in the world.”
Kasen snorted. “Actually, I think it was a beta who wrote the curriculum. Far before we had structured school, we had word of mouth, life lessons passed down verbally from generation to generation. I doubt that this lesson would be any different now than it was several hundred years ago.”
“That’s sad.”
He nodded, resting his head against mine. We sat in silence for several minutes until he took a deep breath. As soon as he let it out, I smelled what he did. Alphas.
Picking my head up, we both twisted around to see our alphas returning from wherever they’d wandered off to. Colby met my eyes as he approached, a smile on his lips. I could feel him in my chest, strong and warm, but his expression was telling me something that I couldn’t quite read.
Stopping in front of us, he crouched down so he could lean in and kiss me. “You good?” he asked.
“We’re bonding.”
Kasen grinned.
“Good. I’m glad you two are so close.”
Hmm. Interesting choice of words. Colby held my gaze for another minute. “Your alpha has just been asked to be courted. How do you feel about that, sweet omega?”
“Oh!” I said, grinning.
Beside me, Kasen inhaled sharply.
“ Oh !” I exclaimed again, realizing where this was going. “I think that’s great! Yes. I approve.”
He chuckled. “I hoped you would,” he said, his voice quieter, then he leaned in and pressed another soft kiss to my lips. “Sweet omega.”
I was practically vibrating with anticipation when he turned to Kasen. Kasen stared at him with wide eyes. “My alphas…” he asked, his words trailing off.
“Can we share them?” Colby asked.
“Yes. Definitely,” Kasen answered. “Yes. Um…”
“Lohtus said you might be interested in courting me too.”
Kasen’s jaw dropped, and I tried to subtly cover my mouth to hide my smile. He didn’t know Colby well enough to see that he was teasing.
“Oh. Uh… Okay. I can do that. I can try. I might not be good at it, alpha.” Kasen fidgeted beside me, his eyes dropping and his cheeks flushing as he tried to stammer his way through this.
Colby chuckled, then he gently lifted Kasen’s face with a finger under his chin. “I’m teasing, sweetheart. How about if I court you instead?”
Kasen drooped in relief next to me. “That was mean,” he mumbled.
Colby’s grin was wide. “It was. I’m sorry. Will you still let me court you, precious?”
Kasen’s eyes glistened as he nodded. “Yes, alpha,” he whispered. “If Talya is okay with it.”
I squealed, making Kasen jump. His eyes flicked to mine as I wrapped my arms around him. “Silly, I just said yes! I said I approve.”
“How did you know that’s what he was talking about?”
“I’ve known Colby since we were kids. I know my alpha.”
Kasen sighed, his eyes turning back to Colby. My big, beautiful, sweet alpha looked between us with a contented smile.
It was finally official. We’d found our pack.