18. Ashlyn
CHAPTER 18
Ashlyn
Later that night, after keeping it together all day, my phone buzzes, drawing my attention away from the notebook in front of me. I glance down, and a text lights up the screen, making my heart skip a beat.
Todd: Can we meet early tomorrow? We can grab lunch and go over last-minute plans.
I stare at the words, my thumb hovering over the screen. They’re simple, straightforward. Yet my heart betrays me, twisting every syllable into something more. I feel like I’ve stepped into an alternate reality. They’ve all been… different.
Todd doing a one-eighty like he didn’t basically warn me off that first day. Xayden checking in with me today, dropping his flirting completely when he admitted that they might want a second chance. Just the thought makes my heart beat faster. But I’m not sure I can do that; there is a reason we didn’t last the first time. That’s what people say, right? If they were the right person the first time it would have lasted?
I bite my lip, hesitating. My fingers hover over the keyboard. Lunch sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? Before I can overthink it any longer, I quickly type out a reply.
Me: Sure. What time?
I don’t allow myself to reread the message, hitting send and locking the screen in one quick motion. My chest tightens, nerves swirling through me.
I glance at the clock—it’s time for dinner with Lilah and her guys. Shoving my phone into my bag, I grab my jacket and head out.
The short walk takes no time, and the restaurant is cozy, warm lighting bouncing off brick walls and polished wood. I spot Lilah instantly, seated at a round table in the corner. She’s glowing, her laughter soft as she chats with Rafe, Miles, and Elliott.
They all stand when I approach, each of them smiling warmly. Miles, always the gentleman, pulls out a chair for me.
“Hey, Ash,” Lilah greets me, her smile as bright as ever. “You made it.”
I settle into the chair, glancing around the table. “Of course. Wouldn’t miss a chance to see you all.”
Rafe grins, his arm draped protectively over the back of Lilah’s chair. “It’s good to see you. We’ve been hearing all about the show.”
Elliott nods, his expression kind. “And the band,” he adds with a knowing look. “Must be... interesting.”
I manage a small smile, but it feels forced. “That’s one word for it.”
Lilah reaches across the table, squeezing my hand briefly. “You’re doing great. Really. And no one handles pressure like you do.”
The conversation flows easily after that. Rafe orders for Lilah, teasingly suggesting she might want one of everything but ultimately knowing exactly what she’ll want. Miles keeps her wine glass filled but never pushes her to drink more than she’s comfortable with. Elliott, quiet and observant, chimes in with thoughtful comments that make her laugh.
Watching them together, my chest tightens. They adore her in a way that’s palpable, their love woven into every word and gesture.
And for the first time in a long while, I wonder what it would feel like to have that again. To be someone’s first thought, their everything.
But as Lilah catches my gaze, a knowing glint in her eyes, I force a smile and turn back to the conversation. Wanting something doesn’t make it possible—especially not with the four people my thoughts refuse to stop circling around.
The conversation eventually shifts back to the band and the show, and I can feel the heat creeping up my neck as Lilah smirks over her glass of wine.
“You know,” she says, leaning forward, her tone casual but her eyes wicked, “you don’t have to get back together with them. There’s always the option of a revenge hookup.”
My mouth falls open, and I nearly choke on my water. “Lilah!”
“What?” she asks, feigning innocence as she pops a piece of bread into her mouth. “I’m just saying, if they hurt you before, maybe it’s time to flip the script.”
Rafe laughs, the sound loud and unapologetic. “Now that is an idea I can get behind,” he says, nudging her shoulder. “Mess with their heads a little. Make them sweat.”
Miles grins, pointing his fork at me. “Oh, I like this. Do it, Ash. Teach them a lesson. You know they’d deserve it.”
I bury my face in my hands. “You guys are the worst,” I groan, though I can’t help the nervous laugh that escapes me.
Elliott leans back in his chair with a slight frown. “I don’t know,” he says carefully. “That’s a slippery slope. If there’s still something there, it could get messy fast.”
Lilah waves him off. “Life’s already messy, Elliott. Might as well have some fun while she’s at it.”
“You’re all insane,” I mutter, shaking my head.
Lilah shrugs, her grin wide and unrepentant. “Maybe. But we’re not wrong. You’ve got the power now, Ash. Use it.”
Rafe and Miles both nod in agreement, their expressions far too amused for my liking, while Elliott sighs, clearly resigned to being outnumbered.
I shake my head, but the laughter bubbling around the table is contagious, and for the first time in what feels like ages, I let myself relax into the moment. Even if Lilah’s suggestion is absurd, the reminder that I still have a sliver of control over this mess gives me just a tiny bit of comfort.
Todd suggested one of my favorite diners for our lunch—not that he’d know that.
I show up twenty minutes early and slide into a booth in the far back corner. It’s one of the reasons I like this place. It’s tucked away, a quick walk from my building, and the paparazzi usually have better places to stalk in the city.
What I didn’t account for was the fact that the band carries their own gravitational pull—paparazzi included.
The moment their sleek black SUV pulls up out front, the doors barely open before photographers seem to materialize out of thin air. Cameras flash, voices rise, and questions are hurled at them like grenades.
Through the glass, I watch the chaos unfold. The guys step out one by one, handling the swarm with practiced ease. West keeps his head down, his shoulders tense but unbothered. Todd offers a polite but firm wave, his calm presence barely ruffled. Jake smiles wryly, like the whole scene is nothing more than an inconvenience.
And then there’s Xayden, casually flipping the cameras off with both hands as he strides to the door, ensuring every shot they get of him is completely unusable.
I can’t help the laugh that escapes me, soft and low, as I shake my head.
The bell above the door jingles as they enter, and immediately, the diner feels smaller. Their presence fills the space, and their energy seeps into the air, undeniable and magnetic.
Their scents hit me first, a rush of memories and emotions flooding my senses before their eyes even land on me.
Todd’s musk arrives first—a warm amber and sandalwood, woven with the golden sweetness of honey. It surrounds me like sunlight peeking through a crack in a window—steady, familiar, and comforting.
Next, Jake’s scent presses in, although more subtle, it’s bright and clean, a mixture of fresh sage and green tea tempered by the deep, grounding pull of vetiver that sometimes threads through. It’s like a breath of fresh air.
Then West—his scent is smoky whiskey, almond, and vanilla, cutting through the air, quiet yet commanding, like an unspoken promise of intensity that I can’t quite shake.
And Xayden—his scent flares last, bold and daring, leather mingling with the tang of citrus and the heat of black pepper. It’s electric, like the jolt of a live wire, impossible to ignore.
Together, their musks create an overwhelming storm. The sweetness of honey collides with the brightness of citrus and sage, while the earthiness of sandalwood and vetiver anchors the smoky warmth of whiskey and the sharpness of pepper. It’s intoxicating, like a melody I can’t help but get lost in.
They’re excited to be here; I can feel it in the way their scents sharpen and grow bolder, filling the space around me like a living thing. It’s familiar and disorienting all at once, a tangled knot of emotions that I’m trying desperately not to get tangled in myself.
Their gazes sweep the room, and the moment their eyes land on me, everything else seems to fade away.
Even through the blockers I applied this morning, I can feel their pheromones seeping into the air, tugging at mine, testing the boundaries I’ve worked so hard to put in place. My perfume spikes, the response immediate—heat gathering low in my stomach, slick between my thighs, even though I’m doing my best to ignore it.
I tell myself the blockers are enough, but I suspect they can smell me anyway. It’s the way their eyes drink me in, the way they all seem to zero in on me the second they spot me. It’s like they know exactly what I’m hiding, like they can sense the things I want to say but can’t. The things I shouldn’t want, and yet, every part of me does. I still want them. And part of me hates that I do.
Jake is the first to move, his easy smile widening as he beelines toward me, the others following close behind.
By the time they reach my booth, my heart is racing. Todd slides into the seat across from me, his expression soft, and not like the alpha I know he is. West lingers beside him, his lips pressed into a thin line, while Jake and Xayden take the seats on either side of me, effectively boxing me in.
“Hey,” Jake says, his voice warm and familiar. “Didn’t think we’d get the VIP treatment.”
Xayden smirks. “Yeah, next time, Ash, maybe warn us about the welcoming committee outside?”
“I’m pretty sure they followed you here,” I reply, my voice steady despite the nerves fluttering in my chest.
Todd leans forward, his elbows resting on the table. “Probably, they’re everywhere we go.” He looks around the small diner, scanning the familiar setting. “This place was a good choice. Feels like you.”
The comment catches me off guard. It’s simple, but it lands heavier than I expected. I blink, unsure of how to respond, the heat from his presence—and his musk—making it harder to think.
“You haven’t been here before?” I ask, trying to shake the moment off.
He gives a slight smile. “No. But I figured it would be easy for you to get to since you only live a few blocks away.”
Another kindness that I don’t expect. I tamp down the urge to purr out loud because that would be embarrassing. Sure, purr for your ex’s in public, great idea.
“How do you know where I live?”
West snorts. “Pictures speak a thousand words. You and your boyfriend have been photographed coming and going from that place a few blocks over. Could be his place.”
His tone is casual, but his words hit like a challenge. One that tells me more than he realizes—like the fact that he’s paying attention. Or maybe he’s always paid attention. I know my life has been on magazine covers for years. Little blurbs in the corner, full page spreads when it’s about the show, or when I was fake dating Rafe to help his reputation.
When I was with Owen, he’d collect the magazines that featured us, laughing at the ridiculous captions and rumors. Sometimes, I think he encouraged it, just to get a rise out of me.
“It’s mine. And I don’t have a boyfriend.” My voice is steady, and I hold his gaze, daring him to challenge me, to accuse me of lying.
The table goes still. The air thickens as four sets of eyes fix on me, their focus heavy and direct. My skin prickles under their scrutiny, and I shift in my seat, the warmth pooling deeper despite my best attempts to quell it. Every single part of me is aware of them as the three alphas and beta they are.
Jake nudges my arm, his touch light but grounding. “So, what’s good here? I’m starving.”
The tension splinters like glass, and I let out a small breath I was holding. Jake always had a way of diffusing things before they could spiral.
I glance at him, grateful for the reprieve. “The burgers are solid, and the milkshakes are some of the best in the city.”
Xayden perks up, leaning back in his chair with a smirk that makes my panties want to melt right off. “Milkshakes? The real kind with ice cream?”
“The real kind. Trust me,” I say, forcing a small smile as I pick up the menu, using it as a shield. “Even you’ll approve.”
Xayden’s sweet tooth has always been legendary. He’d seek out milkshakes everywhere we went, and we’d always tease him about it. But now, these milkshakes only remind me of him, and I can’t help but wish I could tell him that.
His smirk deepens, his fingers tapping lightly on the table as he eyes the menu. “Strawberries and cream? That sounds like something right up my alley.” His gaze locks with mine for a beat too long before he adds, “You always had good taste.”
The words hit me like a wave. Heat rushes to my cheeks, spreading down my neck, and I quickly bury myself in the menu, pretending to study it. But it’s hard to focus. His scent, warm and bold, wraps around me, a pull that’s slow but undeniable. Did he just say what I think he did?
“Strawberries and cream?” Todd teases, a light chuckle in his voice, though I can hear the amusement under it. The familiar teasing lingers, like we all share some private joke. And I know exactly what they’re all thinking—that’s what I taste like. "Didn’t realize you were such a milkshake expert."
Xayden shrugs, unbothered. “A man’s gotta have standards.”
Jake lets out a warm, easy laugh. “Pretty sure his standards just involve sugar.” He glances at me, his smile softening, the lightness of his tone shifting. “But hey, if you vouch for these milkshakes, maybe he’s onto something.”
“They’re the best in the city,” I say, lowering the menu just enough to catch the way four pairs of eyes are fixed on me. My heart skips a beat, their gazes making my chest tighten. I clear my throat, suddenly feeling exposed. “Even you guys might be impressed.”
West speaks for the first time since sitting down, his voice low, measured, and purposeful. "Guess we’ll find out." His gaze lingers on me a moment longer than necessary, and I feel it like a tangible thing, settling over me, unyielding, sharp. My pulse stutters, the intensity of his attention sending a ripple of heat down my spine, one I can’t ignore. I shift in my seat, attempting to stop my body's reaction.
Todd chuckles, the sound light and easy, but there’s an edge to it as his elbows rest on the table. He scans the menu, but his curiosity is still on me. “Didn’t take you for the diner type, though. This place feels… unexpected.”
I glance up at him over the edge of the menu, my heart hammering just a little faster. There’s something about the genuine interest in his expression, like he’s trying to place me back into some old version of myself. “Why? Because it’s not five stars or trending on social media?”
“No,” Todd replies softly, his tone shifting in a way that feels like it’s aimed directly at me. “Because it feels… quiet. Personal. Out of the spotlight. Like the real you.”
The words hit harder than I expect, settling on my chest with an odd mix of warmth and unease. It’s the same way he used to make me feel, like he could read me inside out—nothing hidden, no walls. It makes my cheeks flush with that familiar heat, the kind I thought I could control. I thought I was past this. But no, not with them.
Jake saves me again, his voice slicing through the thickening tension. "Well, I’m in for a burger and one of these legendary shakes. What about you, West?"
West shrugs, the faintest trace of something more flickering in his eyes before he looks down at the menu. "Same. I haven’t had a strawberry shake in a long time."
Xayden laughs, his smirk widening as his gaze flicks to me, a mix of mischief and something darker lurking in his expression. Something pure alpha. "Guess we’re all going to find out if Ash still has good taste."
“She does,” Jake chimes in smoothly, his grin lighting up the space between us. “In diners, at least.”
The teasing tone in his voice is playful, but there's a deeper undertone that I can’t ignore. His words, his nearness, the scent of him—all of them pile up on me like an electric current, wrapping tighter and tighter around my chest. His natural scent flutters in the air, mingling together in a way that grounds me. I fight the urge to breathe him in deeper.
But then, beneath it all, I catch a hint of something else. A faint trace of my own perfume, despite the blockers I applied this morning. My heart stutters again, and I wonder, for just a moment, if maybe the bottle of descenter I used is defective. I can smell myself—no, I can feel myself in the air, calling out to them, even as I try to hide it. Even through the blockers. And I can’t help but wonder if they can smell it too. Can they tell what I’m hiding? What I’m fighting against?
Xayden’s eyes flicker in my direction, the playful glint still there but shadowed by something more intense. I feel it all—their presence, their scents, all mixing together, pulling at me, making me ache in places I don’t want to feel.
I push it down, burying the growing heat. Maybe if I try harder, they won’t notice. But my body betrays me. The slickness between my thighs is there, undeniable.
A waitress arrives, taking our orders, and then the space between us stretches, thick with unspoken words and a quiet that hums with everything that’s unsaid. It hangs over us, the kind of silence that’s only broken when someone dares to fill it.
Jake leans back in his chair, shifting his weight as he breaks the tension first. “So, about the music video. We’re filming part of it tonight, right?”
I nod, thankful for the normalcy of the conversation, the work we’re here to do. “Shelley wants the stage scenes filmed live tonight at your show. The energy of the crowd is key for the vibe. Then tomorrow, we’ll focus on the non-stage stuff.”
“Cool,” Jake says, his smile never faltering, warm and effortless, like it belongs to him and no one else. “At least we know we’re in good hands.”
I try not to let his words affect me, try not to focus on the heat that rushes to my skin whenever he looks at me like that.
Xayden turns his attention to me, his smile softening, almost tender. “You’ve got a lot on your plate, Ash. If there’s anything we can do to help, just say the word.”
Jake’s eyes flick to mine, steady and sincere, an unspoken agreement between them. “Seriously. We’ll follow your lead.”
Their words catch me off guard. The sincerity in their voices sends a wave of something thick and unexpected rushing through me. I clear my throat, trying to break free of the vulnerability that tightens my chest. “Thanks,” I manage, the words tasting like gratitude and something else—something that feels too close to longing. Too dangerous. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Jake’s smile deepens, warm and real. “You should.”
It’s a promise and a challenge, and I’m not sure which one makes my heart race harder.