21. Ashlyn
CHAPTER 21
Ashlyn
I’m still reeling from Shelley’s idea when I arrive at the venue. My nerves are a live wire, buzzing beneath my skin as I weave through backstage chaos—light operators, stagehands, wardrobe assistants, all hurrying to make sure the show starts without a hitch. The distant roar of the crowd sets my pulse racing. Or maybe that’s just me, thinking about what I might do tonight.
I spot the guys huddled near the stage, instruments in hand, going through a last-minute soundcheck. My gaze flicks to Jake, lingering on his easy posture. He catches my eye and waves me over, a warmth in his smile that settles some of my nerves.
“Hey,” he says quietly once I’m close enough. The din of the stadium around us feels like a blanket of white noise. “You good?”
I pull in a breath, forcing a smile. “Define ‘good.’”
He chuckles, but there’s an undercurrent of seriousness in his eyes. “Shelley propositioned us, too,” he says, voice low, “about the whole...fake dating idea.”
My heart thuds. Of course. “And?”
He shrugs, glancing at Todd—who’s busy tuning his guitar—then back to me. “She wanted us to consider pairing off for the media. Some storyline about you being our new...‘it girl.’ We told her we’re only in if you are. Otherwise, it’s a hard pass.”
My chest tightens at his words. They’re basically handing me the reins, and I’m not sure if I’m steady enough to hold them. “Oh.”
Jake watches me carefully. “Look, if you say no, we’ll shut it down.”
Before I can respond, the shrill tone of the stage manager cuts through the air, warning the guys their set is about to start. My reply lodges in my throat, and Jake squeezes my arm briefly before jogging up the steps to the stage, where Todd, West, and Xayden are already heading out to greet the audience.
I trail behind them, staying just out of sight in the wings. The stadium lights dim, and the crowd roars, the sound crashing over me in waves. Through the haze of spotlights, I see this season’s finalists—Shelley’s models—sliding onstage for a live performance piece. They’re draping themselves over the band members, all in the name of a “high-energy show.”
My stomach twists as I watch West’s fingers skim a model’s hip while she grinds to the beat. Xayden, bold as ever, laughs when two models cling to him like magnets, pressed against him as he drums without missing a beat. Even Jake, my calm, steady beta, has a model practically hanging off his shoulder, her hands roving his bare chest as she nuzzles his neck.
The bass thrums through my body, and I stand frozen just out of sight of the crowd, my pulse spiking when one of the models trails her hand across Todd’s shoulder. It’s all harmless choreography—so they say—but jealousy sizzles under my skin. The rush out of my apartment earlier without proper blockers feels like a mistake. My perfume spikes in response, and I can only hope the entire stadium isn’t about to smell my reaction.
Cameras capture every moment, fans scream their delight, and the models play their roles almost too well. Something snaps inside me then—I’m tired of letting other people shape our story. If I want to show the world these guys are mine—or could be—then I’ll do it myself. Maybe it’s impulsive, maybe it’s reckless, but I don’t care.
Fake dating… Fine. Let’s give them a show.
I swallow hard, trying to ignore the instinct to bolt, but my feet carry me onto the stage. The lights are harsh, the roar of the crowd deafening, but my focus zeroes in on Todd. He senses me even before he sees me, turning just as I step into his space. The music pulses in my ears, but I hardly hear it over my pounding heart.
I don’t stop to think. My hand slides along his jaw, the bristle of his stubble a subtle rasp against my palm as I pull him down into a kiss. At first, it’s soft—almost tentative—before he recovers from his shock and returns it with an intensity that leaves me dizzy. A roar rises from the crowd, the glare of flashing cameras prickling my closed eyes, but all of it fades beneath the wild pounding of my heart.
His hands clamp around my waist, possessive and firm, fingers flexing as though he’s afraid I’ll slip away. A surge of heat floods my core, colliding with the rush of adrenaline until I’m trembling, unable to tell where my excitement ends and the pull of his presence begins. My strawberries-and-cream perfume tangles with his sandalwood-and-honey musk, forming a heady swirl that leaves me dizzy. Our pheromones clash in the charged air—his thick with lust, mine sparking in response with every breath.
His lips cover mine in a firm, insistent kiss, and for one blissful moment, the stadium’s roar reduces to a muffled hum. The pulse of music vibrates through his chest, rooting me in this surreal instant, while Jake, West, and Xayden keep playing as if this was all part of the plan. My entire body crackles with energy, teetering between exhilaration and terror at the sheer intensity of it all.
When we finally come up for air, I let out a ragged breath. Todd lifts the mic, voice shaky yet resolute, eyes never leaving mine. “You want to know a secret?” he yells to the crowd, his arm tightening around me. “We’re a thing—me and Ash. All of us.”
Thunderous cheers erupt, the bass of the crowd’s reaction rattling the stage beneath our feet. I tighten my grip on Todd, cheeks burning, skin buzzing under his fingertips. I can barely fathom what just happened—what we’ve done—but fleeing isn’t even an option in my mind.
Instead, I surrender to this moment, heart racing as his musk envelops me, thick with longing.
Still holding me close, Todd picks up the song without missing a beat, his voice filling the space between us. Up close, I can’t tear my gaze away, transfixed by the raw intensity in his eyes.
I step off the stage, my pulse still racing from the performance, and almost instantly, Shelley bounces into view with a grin so wide it could light up the entire backstage. “Oh my god, you guys!” she exclaims, practically vibrating with excitement. “That was brilliant—the way you just announced everything to the crowd like that! Perfect.”
Todd’s arm remains locked around my waist, holding me against him as we head down the hallway. He doesn’t say much—he doesn’t need to. The solid press of his body tells me enough. My cheeks are still warm from the adrenaline and from the way his scent clings to me. I catch myself leaning into him before I remember the others are right behind us. That this isn’t real.
West trails in silence, slinging his guitar case over one shoulder; Xayden taps a drumstick against his thigh, restless energy rolling off him, and Jake moves beside them, calm, but with a watchfulness in his eyes that I’ve come to recognize.
Shelley chatters the entire way to the green room, tossing out questions faster than we can answer.
“Was this planned?”
“Did you talk to any reporters first?”
“You know the tabloids are going to eat this up!”
I feel Todd tighten his grip when Shelley’s prodding gets too close for comfort, and I sense the tension beneath his confident exterior. He’s rattled, too, though he’d never show it.
We finally reach the green room, and the door clicks shut behind us. It’s like a switch flips in me; I slip out of Todd’s hold the moment we have privacy. My arms cross over my chest almost by instinct, and I take a few steps away, trying to catch my breath. My skin still tingles where his fingers were pressed.
“Okay,” I manage, my voice sounding steadier than I feel. “We did it.” I glance between Todd and the others. “Now what?”
Todd keeps his gaze fixed on me. There’s an intensity in his eyes that makes my stomach flip, like he’s not pretending. My stomach dips, while more slick gathers between my legs. Apparently my body doesn’t know I’m faking it either.
“We figure it out,” he says simply, though there’s a tension in his jaw that betrays his own uncertainty.
Shelley leans back against the wall, clutching her tablet. “You do realize you just handed the media a goldmine, right?” Her excitement’s tempered now by a note of caution.
I suck in a breath, trying to slow the hammering in my chest. The noise from the stage still echoes in my ears, and what we just did is finally sinking in. “Yeah, we’ll deal with it,” I say, trying to project more confidence than I actually feel. “Just… give me a second to breathe.”
Todd’s eyes remain on me, and I’m achingly aware of the space between us. My pulse jumps at the memory of his arms around me, but I force myself to stay put. Behind me, I hear Jake’s calm murmur, Xayden’s quieter comments, and West’s subdued agreement with something Shelley says.
Shelley clears her throat. “Okay, so—maybe we’ll regroup in a bit?” She edges toward the door. “We should come up with a plan on how to handle… all this. But a great launch, like I said, perfect!”
She slips out, leaving us in sudden silence. Todd takes a hesitant step in my direction, a question in his gaze. I can see the uncertainty beneath his bravado, the same uncertainty swirling in me. I close my eyes for a second, inhaling slowly to steady myself.
“We’ll handle the media,” I say again, meeting his eyes this time. “But right now, I need a minute. Alone.”
He nods, jaw clenching as he forces himself back. Every inch between us feels like a mile, but I need this distance to gather my thoughts. We crossed a line tonight—one I’m not sure we can ever uncross. And yet, despite the panic fluttering in my chest, I can’t say I regret any of it. Even if this only ends one way…with heartbreak.