Forty-Eight
FORTY-EIGHT
Emiel
I NEVER THOUGHT SOMETHING like this could happen—not to me . My therapist and I had talked about rebuilding trust... in myself, in other people. In the end, I was pretty sure I couldn’t have taken this step with anyone else besides Mia. Even though I was slowly opening myself up—to Luca, to Nat—somehow, I knew instinctively that Mia would never abuse my trust.
Not even accidentally.
I should’ve felt my nerves jangling with alarm as she gently pushed me to lie back on the bed, her breasts jutting as she reached across my body to retrieve the handcuffs and key. Instead, all I felt was relief, because Mia understood .
She knelt next to me on the mattress, letting my wrist go in favor of examining the cuffs with a look of intense concentration that was frankly adorable.
“Hang on,” she murmured, inserting the key in the lock and twisting it. “Just let me...”
The cuff clicked open. She moved the hinge back and forth, checking how it locked automatically when she swung it closed again. Then she repeated the same thing with the second cuff.
“Okay,” she said, her expression clearing. “I’ve got this. Give me your wrist again, darling.”
Something secret, some place hidden deep inside me, wriggled in pleasure at the endearments. Sweetheart. Darling . No one called me those things. Not once in my life. Not ever . Why would they, after all?
That warm satisfaction was a different feeling to the burning want that centered in my dick and made my mouth salivate with the need to get teeth in her neck. It was an even older wound than my fear of hurting her during sex... something more broken; more fragile.
I offered her first one wrist, then the other.
Still with that same air of careful concentration, she snapped on the first cuff, threaded the chain of the cuffs through the solid corner post of the bedframe, and snapped on the second one. I shuffled into a more comfortable position on my back, lying diagonally across the bed with my arms stretched out behind my head.
You can’t hurt her now , I thought, surprised by the swell of contentment that loosened my muscles at the same time it loosened some of the tangled knots inside my head.
“How’s that feel, love?” she asked, stroking the backs of her fingers along my cheek. “Is it okay?”
I leaned into the tender contact shamelessly, wondering if this was how Princess had felt when she realized she didn’t have to fight for her life anymore. “S’good.”
Even to my own ears, I sounded drunk... without ever having touched a drop of alcohol.
“You look so good like this, Emiel,” she said earnestly. “But before I put the gag in, I need you to tell me exactly what you want.”
“Want you,” I said, because... wasn’t it obvious?
“I want you, too,” she promised. “But I need to know if you want me to make you come and then use the knotting sleeve, or something else.”
“Want you ,” I repeated with more emphasis. “I want to knot you, Mia.”
Why did she look so surprised? A niggle of worry wormed past the contentment.
“I’d love for you to knot me,” she assured me before the worry could take root, petting my cheek again. “I’ve wanted that since my heat. Um... we’ll probably need a condom, in that case. Sorry—I should have thought of that first, before we started.”
“Nightstand drawer,” I said, because I might not want any barriers between me and her, but I also wanted to keep her safe. I’d bought them at the same time I’d gotten the cuffs and the gag—just in case.
Her worried expression brightened. “Perfect. One last thing, sweetheart. I know you won’t be able to talk, but I’m going to talk a lot . I’m going to keep asking you if things are okay, and when I do, I need you to either nod yes or shake your head no. If you shake your head no, I’ll stop. But I’ll also stop if you don’t answer. Is that all right?”
I nodded yes.
A sunny smile bloomed across her face. “Perfect. You’re just perfect , darling. Now, do you want the gag?”
Another nod.
She took a deep breath as though centering herself, and settled her shoulders as she let it out. “God, I just want all of you at once. Where to even start?”
“With the gag,” I reminded her, half-teasing and half-serious.
She snorted in amusement and got up to get it. “You know, you’re pretty bossy for an alpha handcuffed to a bed.”
Something about the words made my dick jump and throb, the ache of need growing worse as she carefully slid the red rubber ball between my teeth and sorted out the straps, buckling it snugly into place around my skull.
I thought I probably shouldn’t like the feeling of having it there in my mouth so much, big and intrusive and impossible to ignore.
She straightened, surveying her handiwork. “I’m going to take off the rest of my clothes now,” she said. “Can I take off your pants, too?”
I nodded, thinking about how it was going to feel having her skin directly against mine. I hadn’t seen Mia’s bare legs since her heat—and back then, I’d been too busy losing my shit to appreciate them properly. God, she was so pretty. Her skin had this sort of golden glow with olive undertones, and I could barely tear my eyes away from the way her hips flared below the slight roundness of her belly.
The fact that I was chained to the bed and couldn’t hurt her made me feel safe enough to think about grabbing those hips and leaving finger-shaped bruises on them that wouldn’t fade for days . I thought about Luca and Byron seeing my marks on her and knowing I’d put them there. The mental picture was enough to make a possessive growl rumble up from my chest.
“You’ll have to tell me later what you’re thinking about right now,” Mia said, a bit breathlessly.
Slender fingers hooked in the waistband of my sweatpants and tugged, the light touch burning like a brand. I lifted my hips obligingly, the growl turning into a stifled moan as she slid them down my legs and off.
I was naked with Mia Dimitriadis, and we were going to have sex .
My dick felt like it was primed to explode at the slightest touch. Mia stared at it for a minute, licking her lips.
“ God , you’re big,” she said. “You alphas are spoiling me.”
I guess I probably was big—I was a pretty large guy in general. I really liked the idea of spoiling Mia, though. My cock jumped again.
I wasn’t sure what to expect next... I thought maybe she’d climb on top of me and start fucking me, like the omega had in the video.
“Can I touch your neck and chest? Kiss you there?” she asked instead.
I nodded so fast it probably looked comical, my skin aching for her touch even if it meant waiting longer to be inside her. I’d noticed that a lot, these last weeks. It was as though, now that I’d let myself be touched at all, I was starving for it. Like I’d built up a lifetime’s deficit, and now the debt was coming due.
The small hand that had stroked and cupped my cheek trailed down my jaw, sliding gently over the skin of my throat. I’d never shown throat to another alpha. Not even to my mother’s asshole of a boyfriend. Not once . But it felt like the most natural thing in the world to tip my chin up for Mia, baring my neck to her careful touch.
She made a quiet, punched-out sound and bent down, her soft lips replacing the fingers. Sensation zinged up and down my spine as she kissed and nipped the vulnerable skin. My thoughts were starting to feel slow and swimmy—totally different than the madness that had overtaken me during her heat, but just as addicting.
It felt amazing to be able to surrender to that drugged-out haze of pleasure, while knowing that nothing bad would happen if I let go. I couldn’t hurt her; she wouldn’t hurt me. Just like in the video, she’d make sure we both got what we wanted, and it would be perfect.
Her hands blazed a trail over uncharted territory, roaming over my chest before thumbing my nipples. I arched and moaned, taken by surprise at the intensity of the sensation. She made a noise of interest, immediately focusing all her attention on the little brown points until I was writhing and thrusting my hips mindlessly off the mattress.
When her sharp little teeth closed around one, I let out a bellow that was muffled by the gag—certain that I was going to come on the spot. She soothed the bite with her tongue, the gentle rasp ricocheting straight to my balls.
I fell back, panting, staggered by how much my body could feel when I gave it over to someone else’s care.
Mia straightened above me, her pupils blown huge and black. “God... Emiel, if you could see yourself right now...” She was panting nearly as hard as I was. The rich scent of her slick surrounded us, and I was drowning in it. Drunk on it.
She closed her eyes as though reaching for control. “I want to keep you here like this for hours , but I can’t wait any longer. Can I put the condom on you?”
It took a moment to remember that I was supposed to respond. I nodded slowly, feeling like I was moving through molasses.
She rummaged in the drawer for a few seconds before emerging, triumphant. Tearing the packet open, she extracted the condom and turned it back and forth, probably trying to see which way it unrolled.
I tried to brace myself for the feel of her touching my dick, but I couldn’t stop the primal noise that rumbled in my throat, or the way my hips arched off the bed again. The rumble turned into a low keen as she finished rolling the latex over my throbbing erection and took her hands away.
“I need you in me right this fucking minute,” she said, her own voice ragged around the edges. “Tell me you want it too, Emiel, please ...”
I nodded frantically, feeling like I couldn’t get enough oxygen in my lungs. With a groan of relief, she swung a leg over my hips. There was none of the male omega’s cool dispassion from the video. Mia looked feral with need, and I wanted to capture that image in my head so I could replay it over and over forever.
The condom dulled the sensation of wet heat pressing around my tip as she positioned herself, and maybe it was just as well. I was sure that without it, I would have exploded all over her pussy at the very first touch.
It was still the best thing I’d ever felt as she rolled her hips, sheathing my tip inside her body with a cry that tailed off to a whimper. Her palms slapped down on my chest as she braced herself, retreating an inch before taking me deeper.
I was paralyzed beneath her, my muscles and nerves short-circuiting with how good it felt. Another roll of her hips seated me deeper, each slow thrust making another inch of my length disappear inside her until finally, finally , she bottomed out against my pelvis.
“Oh, god,” she whimpered, and retreated nearly all the way before slamming herself down almost violently.
Paralysis broken, I let out a choked noise around the gag and bucked up, meeting her as she set a brutal rhythm that wrenched a cry from her with every thrust. Nothing could possibly feel this good, like all the blood in my veins had turned to molten gold, pulsing through my body in hot, sparkling waves.
Mia shoved herself off my chest, straightening above me with her spine arched and her head thrown back. One of her hands grabbed a breast, kneading it and twisting the nipple. The other delved between her legs, just above where we were joined, her fingers working furiously.
It was too much—my brain whited out at the image, all the sparkles in my bloodstream rushing to center in my balls. The pressure that had been building inside me exploded into wracking spasms, jizz spurting from my dick in waves so intense I thought I might pass out.
I wanted the condom not to be there... I wanted my seed to fill up Mia’s passage until it dripped out in sticky globs. The thought sent another jolt of ecstasy through me, my balls emptying until the spasms became almost painful.
Mia’s fingers were still rubbing rapid circles over her clit, her passage fluttering around my spent dick, milking every last drop. I moaned as my knot started to swell, growing and growing and growing until her body felt like a hot vise around me.
Her mouth opened as she felt it, too, and a wavering cry escaped her throat as the fluttering became a strong, rhythmic squeeze. Her body jerked once, twice, three times, four times, her eyelids fluttering. Then she slowly went limp, her upper body folding forward to drape over mine—all her muscles turning to Jell-O except the ones that clamped around my knot, tying us together.
It felt like someone had poured contentment and wellbeing over my head from a bucket. I wanted to spend the rest of my life right here, knotting Mia while she lay against my chest making a contented little kitten purr.
After a moment, though, she roused herself—pushing up far enough that she could look down at me. She looked as dazed as I felt, but she asked, “Sweetheart, do you want me to take the gag off before we rest?”
I shook my head no, still not trusting my teeth anywhere near her throat.
“What about the cuffs?” she asked. “Can I take those off?”
I thought about it for a moment, and nodded yes. A slow, sunny smile broke out over her face, and she reached under the pillow where she’d stashed the key. A moment later, one cuff clicked open, followed by the other.
My shoulders were a little stiff, but wild alligators couldn’t have kept me from wrapping my arms around her and holding tight. With a deep sigh of happiness, she melted into my embrace, her sweet breath whuffling against the crook of my shoulder.
Cradling her against me, I knew none of the things that kept me from being part of a mated pack had really changed. The inside of my head was still a scary place... far too scary to let an innocent like Mia see it. And yet, in that moment, I would have shifted heaven and earth to make that mating bond a reality. I just needed to find a big enough lever to change my orbit.