Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Audrey
I lean back in the plush leather seat, my eyes fixed on the fluffy white clouds outside the window. I can’t believe I’m on a private jet, flying back to San Diego after the disaster that happened earlier.
Not only do my parents know that I lied, but they realized I was dating a married man.
Mom will never forgive me, and maybe this is the last time I’ll visit Boston. At least Jake and Max are supporting me. They’re so supportive that Max is escorting me to San Diego.
Jake stayed to calm my parents and assess the situation. I honestly don’t know what I would do without them.
“Not to sound ungrateful, but you didn’t have to come,” I say, my voice wavering slightly. I pick at a loose thread on my jeans, avoiding Max’s gaze. “I hate to take you away from all the things you have to do.”
Max scoffs, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. “The boss said we had to.” He leans back in his seat, his long legs stretched out in front of him.
“Liam is your boss?” I laugh, the sound forced and hollow. “What happened to ‘I’m my own boss’?” I make air quotes with my fingers, trying to inject some levity into the situation.
“We all own the company and have different roles.” He shrugs, his expression nonchalant. “Though, since he’s the CEO, we sometimes call him the boss.”
“I still can’t believe you insisted I use the private jet,” I say, shaking my head in disbelief. “I mean, I had a perfectly good plane ticket.”
Max chuckles. “Well, apparently, your prince charming insisted on the royal treatment for his beloved. He didn’t know that you wouldn’t be crying after what happened.” His tone is light, but I can hear the underlying concern in his words.
I snort, rolling my eyes at his teasing tone. “Liam’s not my prince charming,” I mutter, my heart clenching at the mention of his name. “And I’m certainly not his beloved.” The words taste bitter on my tongue.
Not sure why, but saying that he’s not my beloved feels more false than our engagement. I look at my hand, the ring is still there. I didn’t even give it back to him. That would be like admitting that this is over and I’m not sure if I’m ready to go back to reality just yet.
I don’t acknowledge the fact that he expects me to be crying. Am I sad? Yes, but not surprised that, as usual, Mom is disappointed in me. At least, this time I told her how I felt. If they can’t accept me, that’s totally fine. It’s something I’ve been working on with my therapist, and maybe I should’ve listened to her when we discussed Ben.
Be with someone you approve of, stop trying to make your parents happy. I swore it was both. He made me happy, and being with him would make them . . . accept me.
But that was a lie, and here I am, broken and confused. I feel a lump forming in my throat, the weight of my own expectations crushing me from within .
The confusion is about Liam because I really wanted him to come back with me to see if we could still hang out with each other. Getting to know him was surprising and something I don’t want to lose.
My heart aches at the thought of never seeing him again, of losing the connection we’ve forged over the past few days.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Max says, his voice softening with something that sounds suspiciously like concern. “The way he looks at you, Auds . . . that’s not just pretend.”
“He’s a great actor.”
Max laughs, and it’s one of those whole-hearted laughs he barely releases. The sound startles me, and I glance back at him. “Why do you think I’ve been teasing the fuck out of you two?”
“Because that’s how you are?”
“Sure, but also because I noticed how he was salivating for you. And the first time I noticed, I didn’t like it, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he’s always cared for you.” Max’s expression softens, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“Liam always looked after you when we were young. I think in a weird way you two crazy kids were meant for each other. ”
“So, you’re not going all big brother on him for looking at me?” I tease, trying to lighten the mood. But my voice wavers, betraying the hope that flutters in my chest.
“I will because it’s fun to make him squirm, but since you also have feelings for him, I won’t get in the way,” he says, his tone sincere and understanding.
“There are no feelings,” I say, but it feels like a lie. A big, ugly lie that hurts so much. “It was just a charade. Pure lies.” I look away, blinking back the tears that sting my eyes.
Max is quiet for a moment, his brow furrowed in thought. “Is that what you want?” he asks finally, his gaze searching mine. “For it to be over?”
I open my mouth to say yes, to tell him that of course that’s what I want, that I never wanted any of this in the first place. But the words get stuck in my throat, there’s a painful truth that I don’t even want to acknowledge.
Because the reality is, as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t want it to be over.
I don’t want to lose Liam, to go back to the way things were before.
I don’t want to face the emptiness of my life without him in it.
The thought of never seeing his smile again, of never feeling the warmth of his touch . . . it’s almost too much to bear.
But I need space to think if that’s what I really want. I won’t say anything to anyone, not even Max.
So instead, I force a smile, my voice falsely bright as I say, “Of course, that’s what I want. It was just a stupid game, a way to get everyone off my back. It didn’t mean anything.” The words taste bitter on my tongue, a lie that feels like poison in my veins.
He hands me an envelope. “Here, I forgot to give you this.” His expression is unreadable, a mask that hides his true thoughts.
With trembling fingers, I open the envelope, unfolding the letter inside. My heart races as I take in the messy handwriting.
Aud,
That was messy and not in a good way. I wish this disaster hadn’t been the end of our time together in Boston. I hate that the bookstore is in trouble and my father needs me to help him with it. It’s a long story.
Honestly, I thought I would be able to convince you to stay with me for a couple of weeks, help me look into the business side to see where things are going wrong. Just so I could spend a little more time with you. But life never works the way we plan, does it? Not that I plan much—other than what happens to the company .
My point here is that I will give you space, but please let me know when you’re ready to hear me out. I really want us to talk about the stuff you took with you (I really think you’re a thief) and how we’ll handle things when I’m back in San Diego. I don’t want the heart you stole back, but we need to figure out what you’ll do with it now that you own it.
I want to see you again, babe. I want to get to know more about grown-up Audrey, though I think I know enough to be in love with you.
Yeah, I hate to say it in this letter, but I feel like this might be my only chance to plead for you to not push me away.
Give us a chance, please.
Love,
Liam
I close the letter, my breath coming in short, sharp gasps. He loves me?
I’m at a loss.
This is unexpected and probably what I wanted, but at the same time something that might not work.
Could it work?
I sigh, confused, hopeful, and . . . I wish I could go back to see Liam. But as much as I want to, even if we hadn’t been discovered, I have to go back to work.
Max looks at me, his eyes narrowing as if he can see right through my bullshit. “So, is it over?” he asks, his tone gentle but probing.
“It never started,” I say, because I’m not talking to my brother about Liam. Not now, not when my emotions are so raw and exposed.
“If you say so,” he says, his tone skeptical. “But for the record, I think you’re making a mistake.” He leans back in his seat, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Oh, really?” I snap, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I cross my arms over my chest, my eyes narrowing as I glare at Max. “And what would you know about it, Mr. Relationship Expert?”
Max holds up his hands in surrender, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. His eyes sparkle with amusement, and I can tell he’s enjoying this a little too much. “Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it,” he says, his tone playful but sincere. “You and Liam . . . you’ve got something special. Something real. And I’d hate to see you throw that away because you’re too stubborn to admit it.”
I bite my lip, my heart racing at the truth of his words. Because as much as I want to deny it, as much as I want to pretend that what Liam and I had was just a game, all an act . . . I know that it was more than that. I touch the envelope, my fingers tracing the edges as a wave of emotion crashes over me. He said so himself .
Can you fall in love in so little time?
Maybe. But I know that the time we were together was a glimpse of what could be, a taste of the happiness that I’ve been searching for my entire life. And now that I’ve had it, now that I know what it feels like to be loved, truly loved, by someone who sees me for who I am . . . I can go back to the way things were before, but I don’t want to.
The realization hits me like a punch to the gut, stealing the breath from my lungs.
I’m scared.
Scared of getting hurt, scared of opening myself up to the possibility of heartbreak. And so I do what I always do when things or people hurt me. Like my family’s rejection or . . . so many things that I’ve been running away from.
Yep, that’s exactly what I do.
I run.
And maybe this time I have to stop.
“Is there Wi-Fi on the plane so I can text?” I dare to ask, my voice barely above a whisper. I glance at Max, my eyes wide and pleading.
Max nods, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. “Of course. There’s even a phone where you can call him.” He leans back in his seat, his arms folded behind his head as he watches me with a mixture of amusement and exasperation.
“I didn’t say I’d contact him,” I protest, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. I look away, suddenly fascinated by the pattern of the carpet beneath my feet.
He smirks, his expression smug and self-satisfied. “But you will.”
I bite my lip, my mind racing as I try to decide what to do. Part of me wants to prove Max wrong, to shut down the hope that flutters in my chest, and to pretend that I don’t care about Liam at all. But another part of me wants to at least have a grown-up conversation with Liam so we can discuss where to go from here.