Chapter 18
Ben
Tessa climbs into my lap, and I’m reaching for her before my brain fully comes online.
Not that I’m complaining. After however many hours we’ve been at this, my body has learned to respond to her need automatically. I’m hard before my eyes are open, pulling her closer before I’m even sure what’s happening.
“Hey.” My voice comes out rough, wrecked from sleep and sex and the low-grade growl that’s been living in my chest since her heat started. “Hey, sweetheart, I’m here.”
She doesn’t answer with words. Just straddles me, her thighs bracketing my hips, her hands bracing on my chest. The nest is warm and dark around us, candlelight flickering across her skin, and she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Also the most desperate. Her scent is thick with need, lavender and citrus sharpened by arousal, but it’s different now. Softer underneath the urgency.
“Tessa.” I cup her face, make her look at me. Her eyes are dark, pupils blown wide, but she’s more present than she’s been in hours. “You with me?”
She nods. “Last one, I think. Feels different.”
I notice it too, now that she’s said it. The frantic edge that’s been driving her is fading, replaced by something gentler. Still need, still want, but not the desperate clawing desperation of before.
“Yeah?” I brush hair from her face, tuck it behind her ear. “How does it feel?”
“Like I want you.” She leans into my touch. “Not like I’ll die without you. Just... want.”
Something shifts in my chest. Cracks open. Because this is different. This isn’t biology driving her into my arms. This is choice.
She’s choosing me.
“Well.” I try for my usual grin, but it comes out softer than intended. “Lucky for you, I’m very wantable.”
She laughs. Actually laughs, and the sound hits me right in the solar plexus. I’ve been cracking jokes for hours, trying to make her smile even when she’s barely conscious, and this is the first real laugh I’ve gotten.
I want to hear it again. Want to spend the rest of my life making her laugh.
Fuck. I’m in so deep.
“You’re ridiculous,” she says, but she’s smiling. Really smiling, not just the heat-dazed curve of lips I’ve been seeing.
“You love it.”
The word hangs between us. Love. I didn’t mean to say it, didn’t mean to put that out there, but it’s too late to take it back.
Tessa doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t pull away. Instead, she leans down and kisses me.
It’s different from the kisses we’ve shared during the heat. Those were desperate, hungry, driven by biological imperative. This is slow and sweet, her lips moving against mine like she has all the time in the world. Like she’s savoring me.
I let her set the pace. Let her explore my mouth, learn the shape of me, take what she needs. My hands settle on her hips, thumbs tracing circles on her skin, and I feel her shiver.
“Ben.” She pulls back just enough to breathe my name. “I want to feel you.”
“You’re feeling me right now.” I flex my hips, let her feel how hard I am against her stomach. “See? Very feelable.”
She rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling. “I want you inside me. But I want—” She trails off, biting her lip.
“What do you want?” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Tell me. Whatever it is, I’ll give it to you.”
“I want to be on top. I want to set the pace.” She meets my eyes, and there’s vulnerability there underneath the want. “I’ve been so out of control. I just want to feel like I’m choosing this. Like it’s me, not just the heat.”
My chest aches and swells at the same time.
“Baby, you’ve been choosing this the whole time.” I pull her down for another kiss, soft and brief. “But yeah. Take what you need. I’m all yours.”
She reaches between us, wraps her hand around my cock, and I hiss at the contact. I’m so sensitive after hours of this, every nerve ending dialed up to eleven. Her touch sends sparks shooting up my spine.
“You’re so hard,” she murmurs, stroking me slowly.
“Been hard since the day I met you.” The joke comes out before I can stop it. “Should probably see a doctor about that.”
She laughs again, and God, I love that sound. Love that I can make her laugh even now, even in the middle of everything.
Then she lifts her hips and sinks down onto me, and every thought in my head goes white.
“Fuck.” The word punches out of me. She’s so wet, so hot, her pussy gripping me tight as she takes me inch by inch. I have to grab the blankets to keep from grabbing her hips and thrusting up into her.
Her pace. Her choice. Let her have this.
She bottoms out with a sigh, her eyes fluttering closed. We stay like that for a moment, connected, breathing together. I can feel her heartbeat through the walls of her pussy, feel her body adjusting to the stretch of me.
“You okay?” I manage.
“So okay.” She opens her eyes, looks down at me with an expression that makes my chest tight. “You feel so good, Ben. So full.”
“That’s the goal.” I stroke my hands up her thighs, settle them on her hips without guiding. Just touching. “Take your time. We’ve got all night.”
She starts to move.
Slow at first, just a gentle roll of her hips that makes both of us gasp. She’s finding her rhythm, experimenting with angles, learning what feels good. I let her explore, let her use my body however she wants, and try not to lose my mind in the process.
“That’s it.” I can’t help the words that spill out. “Ride my cock, baby. Take what you need from me. This greedy little pussy just swallows me up, doesn’t it?”
She moans, her pace picking up. Her hands are braced on my chest, fingernails digging in just hard enough to sting. I’m going to have marks tomorrow, and possessive satisfaction curls in my gut at the thought.
Mine. She’s marking me as hers.
“You look so good like this,” I tell her, because I can’t not tell her. “Bouncing on my cock, tits swaying, taking me so deep. Could watch you forever.”
Her pussy clenches around me, and I groan. She likes the dirty talk. I’ve learned that over the past hours. The filthier I get, the wetter she gets.
“Feel how wet you are?” I slide one hand around to her ass, grip the soft flesh there. “Dripping all over my balls. Making a mess of both of us. You’re gonna be leaking my come for days after this.”
“Ben.” Her voice is breathless, desperate. “More.”
“More what?” I tease, even though I know exactly what she wants. “More talking? More touching? More of my cock splitting this pretty pussy open?”
“All of it.” She’s riding me harder now, chasing her pleasure. “All of you.”
I sit up suddenly, changing the angle, and she cries out. From here I can kiss her, can wrap my arms around her, can feel every inch of her body pressed against mine. She wraps her legs around my waist and grinds down, and we both moan.
“I’ve got you.” I kiss her neck, her jaw, the corner of her mouth. “I’ve always got you, Tessa. Even when you don’t want me to.”
She’s close. I can feel it in the way her pussy flutters around me, the way her breath catches, the way her whole body starts to tremble. I reach between us, find her clit, and press.
She comes with a cry, her whole body seizing around me. Her pussy clamps down so hard I see stars, milking me, trying to pull me over the edge with her. But I grit my teeth and hold on. I’m not done with her yet.
“One more,” I murmur against her throat as she shakes through the aftershocks. “Give me one more, and then I’ll knot you.”
“I can’t.” But even as she says it, her hips are still moving, still grinding against me.
“You can.” I kiss her deep, swallow her whimper. “You’ve been so good, Tessa. So fucking perfect. One more.”
I ease her off me, and she makes a sound of protest that goes straight to my cock. “Shh. I’ve got you. Just want to try something.”
I guide her onto her hands and knees, positioning her in front of me. The sight of her like this, ass in the air, pussy glistening with slick and my pre-come, makes my cock throb painfully.
“God, you’re beautiful.” I run my hands over her ass, her hips, the curve of her waist. “Look at you. All spread out for me.”
“Ben.” She’s trembling, but she doesn’t move. Trusts me completely. “Please.”
“Please what?” I lean down, press a kiss to the small of her back. “Use your words, sweetheart.”
“Please fuck me.” The words come out desperate, needy. “Please knot me. I need you, Ben. Need you so much.”
I line myself up and push inside in one smooth stroke.
The angle is different like this, deeper somehow, and Tessa moans so loud I’m briefly worried about Elijah and Milo sleeping on the other side of the nest. Then I stop caring about anything except the way her pussy grips me, the way her back arches, the way she pushes back to meet my thrusts.
“That’s it.” I set a steady pace, deep and slow, hitting that spot inside her with every stroke. “Take my cock. This is what you needed, isn’t it? To be fucked and filled and owned.”
“Yes.” She’s gripping the blankets, her knuckles white. “Yes, yes, yes.”
I speed up, my hips snapping against her ass with every thrust. The sound of skin on skin fills the nest, mixed with our moans and the obscene wet noise of my cock driving into her soaked pussy.
“You’re mine, Tessa.” The words come out before I can stop them, possessive and raw. “You hear me? Mine. This needy pussy is mine. These sounds you’re making, they’re mine. Come on my cock. Show me who you belong to.”
“Yours.” She’s crying now, tears streaming down her face, but I know they’re not sad tears. Just overwhelmed. “Ben, I’m yours. I’m—”
She comes again, her pussy clamping down on me so hard I have to stop moving. The orgasm rolls through her in waves, making her whole body shake, and I hold her hips and let her ride it out.
My knot is swelling. I can feel it, the base of my cock thickening, ready to lock us together. But I pause. I want this to be different.
I pull out carefully, ignoring her whimper of protest, and guide her onto her back. I need to see her face for this part. Need to look into her eyes.