Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
I’m on edge every second of the drive to work. After Conall had dinner with us, Amity again demanded that he stay with us until she went to bed. It was a request I didn’t bother denying her.
Not after she Alpha-barked at me.
I am thankful that Conall was here to help diffuse the situation. Even on suppressants, denying an Alpha-bark is a near impossible feat.
I haven’t even had time to process the fact that at the age of three, my daughter is already showing signs and of her designation.
It should be impossible. Especially this young.
I don’t allow myself to think anymore of everything that it means and the fact Conall was there to witness it. There is a bottle of wine at home with my name on it that I have every intention of popping the minute I get home.
So as I sit here in by far one of the most expensive cars that I have ever seen, it's fair to say that this night is going to be an interesting one.
Conall—or should I say Cal—has a look on his face that is setting my nerves even further on edge. It is a look that tells me that my ruse is up.
He knows.
This fucking Alpha knows that I am not who I say I am. That the persona that I have had in place for years is just a smoke-screen now for him.
I still plan on holding on to it for as long as I can.
Admitting to him that I am actually an Omega isn’t an option. Clubs don’t hire Omegas and for very good reason. It would be armageddon if someone was to go in heat during a dance. Especially if they were dancing for an unmated Alpha.
I internally cringe at the image that paints.
“Are you okay, Little Devil?”
Cal’s voice shocks me out of my thoughts. He chuckles as I turn to him.
“I’m fine,” I mutter but nothing about the tone of my voice is remotely convincing.
He rolls his eyes as he turns away from me.
“You clearly aren’t okay, Valentina.” He reaches his hand over and grabs mine. I’m surprised that I don’t jump but there is something about his tobacco and vanilla scent that is calming.
“I want you to know that I will be here for you and Amity every step of this journey.”
The sincerity and honesty in his voice has tears coming to my eyes but I refuse to allow them to fall. I can’t. Instead I whisper a quiet ‘thank you’.
The thought of Cal being there for me for whatever the next few years with Amity is almost like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
But, I also want to rebel. I want to yell and scream that I don’t need an Alpha. That I can do life by myself.
But I have never wanted to do life on my own. I was forced into a life of solitude.
Forced to rebel against every single thing that makes me who I am.
All because a man didn’t like being told no.
It feels as though I have a bodyguard with me as I walk into work. Cal refused to allow me to open my own door which was a surprise gesture. I didn’t allow that part of me—that wanted to melt over the chivalry—get too hopeful.
I have to distance myself from the part of myself that is wanting what he can offer. If I allow myself to become hopeful that maybe he is different, I know it will only end in heartbreak.
I will allow him to help me with Amity and help her to understand the new things her body is telling her.
But when it comes to him and I, that relationship needs to remain strictly professional.
Not only is he my boss but he is also an Alpha.
One that I know I could easily let my guard down around.
But one that I will just have to appreciate from afar.
I can’t be the person that he needs me to be.
I need to remain strong for Amity.
The thought of my little girl being an Alpha is enough to send me into another tail-spin.
No matter what these three delicious Alphas promise, they will be denied at every turn. Because I refuse to let my guard down to only be hurt again.
Work goes by at an annoyingly slow pace. The smile that is plastered on my face is terribly fake. It's clear that Cal can tell, considering the look he has been giving me the past hour.
I wish that I could take him up on what I know is an unsaid offer. His emotions are clear as day. He is hating me being here right now as much as I am.
But every time I think about going home ‘sick’, the reminder of who is at home keeps me going for another hour.
I sigh in relief as I finally take the pleasers off my feet at the end of the night. Over the years, I have become used to the feeling of wearing them but every now and then, they play up on me.
Luna likes to joke that it is just our age showing. A joke that is only funny to her. I groan as I rub the ache in the arch of my foot.
“Damn girl, any louder and you will start turning us on with those noises you are making,” Candy laughs, putting her things in her bag. The other girls all laugh and I roll my eyes.
“It has never taken you much to get turned on, Candy. A mullet and moe combo makes your kitty wetter than the Pacific Ocean.”
I snort a laugh as Luna hits the girl back with a line that runs true. We all know that the girl is easy. She even knows that.
Whatever floats her boat though. At least one of us has a healthy relationship with sex.
It has been years since I was with my old pack. Not like any of what they did to me was remotely enjoyable. Not even when I would fall into the mindlessness of a heat.
By the time I have got undressed and have packed my bag, all the girls have left for the night. The time alone gives me a moment to decompress.
A moment to think of all the insanity of my day.
Cal met my daughter.
Amity Alpha-barked at me.
Cal promised to be there for me and Amity.
Fuck, my little girl.
Putting my head into my hands, I breathe through the panic I can feel rising in my chest.
What the fuck am I meant to do? I have only heard of a few cases of female Alphas and none of them have ever been pleasant. Those women fight every single day due to the rarity of their designation. There is a need for them to prove who they are in a world they shouldn’t have to.
The thought of my daughter having to go through that, and at such a young age, is horrific.
I shouldn’t have expected any less. With her fathers being Alphas and along with my designation, I was only ever destined for to have either or.
Omegas and Alphas just don’t birth Betas. That is as rare as a female Alpha.
The next thought that enters the forefront of my mind just as brutally, is the fact that Conall knows what she is.
Shooting up straight, a cold sweat floods my body. My eyes dart to my bag and I stagger towards it. My breathing comes out in a harsh panic as the overwhelming need to protect my baby inundates my thoughts.
I need to get home. To bundle my little girl in my nest. To protect her.
Nest? Wait? What?
I pause at the exit of the dressing room to collect my thoughts. It has been years since the desire for a nest has nudged at me.
During the time the Andrews pack held me captive, my nest was my only source of comfort. And that was only when they weren’t in there tainting it with their scents.
But the need for one now is so strong that it is impossible to ignore.
Shit, I don’t even have any good blankets or pillows to make a nest. My bed has two flat and worn out pillows on it. I don’t even allow myself decorative pillows.
I had that much desire to push everything Omega out of my life that any kind of ‘comfort’ item was an immediate no.
But now? All I want is a fluffy blanket to curl up in with my daughter. To hide out amongst fabrics that will feel like silk against my skin and protect what is mine.
To have my Alphas surrounding us and providing that extra level of care.
Alphas?
No. No. No. No.
I don’t have Alphas. I’m not a fucking Omega. I am a goddamn Beta.
Shaking my head, I continue out the building until I run into a body. I grunt, stumbling back but another wall at my back steadies me.
“Hey, where are you going, Little Devil?”
The soothing voice of Cal has me swallowing thickly. A whimper threatens to escape but I refuse to allow it.
Judging by the scent behind me, I know that there is no way that I can allow myself to slip right now. It may be the worst thing that I could do.
“I…I…I’m going home,” I manage to stutter out, fooling absolutely nobody.
Cal scoffs and shakes his head. “Not a chance, sweetheart. My mother, rest her soul, would be mortified if I let you walk home alone at this time of the night.”
“I agree with Cal, Valley. Get in his car and he will drive you home.”
The deep timbre of Olis’ voice sends a shiver running down my spine.
I begin shaking my head but a growl from behind me stops me immediately.
“Stop arguing with us, Valentina. You will get your ass in the car and say thank you like a good fucking girl.”
I am already nodding my head even before Vic has finished his sentence.
“And, you will message me the moment that you are tucked in bed with your front door locked.”
Again, I nod but Victor just shakes his head.
“No, dolce ciliegra, I need your words.”
I swallow thickly before replying, “Yes, Alpha.”
Vic’s eyes heat and I know that if Olis’ hand wasn’t on his shoulder, he would have done something that I’m not even remotely close to being ready for.
Judging by the look in his eyes, I know that I need to choose my stance with them and quickly. There is a promise in his eyes that makes anticipation swirl in my stomach. Vic wants more. They want more.
And I need to decide what I want.
Before it's too late.
Cal allows me to process my feelings on the drive home from work. I know that he has questions. Ones that I don’t even know how I would be able to answer.
Ones that fucking terrify me.
But, if I was to be stuck in a car with anyone right now, I’m glad it's him.
Since he entered my home this morning—or yesterday morning seeing the stupid time on the clock—he has given me this sense of safety I haven't felt before. It’s strange and uncomfortable after years of pushing people away.
It makes me wish that I could have met this Alpha first. Maybe I wouldn’t have put them all into such a secure box. Maybe their advances would have been well received.
But that is not what I was destined for.
Cal finds a park outside of my apartment building. He pins me with a look as he exits the car. I wait as he opens my door and takes my bag from me.
I don’t even bother protesting it.
If the guy really wants to be a gentleman, I will let him. I have no energy to fight him on it.
Neither of us says anything as we walk in the door. Mrs. Perry gives us a quick hello and goodbye before she also leaves. She does side eye Cal though, murmuring quiet words to the Alpha before making her exit.
As Cal is saying goodbye to the older lady, I take a moment to go check in on Amity.
Opening her door as quietly as I can, I make sure to keep my footsteps light as I walk over to her bed and sit down on the edge.
Tears spring to my eyes as I look down at her precious face.The chubby cheeks that have refused to disappear. The way her mouth is open as she lightly snores.
The peaceful innocence on her face.
She is too young to have to learn the realities of our world. She is too young to have that innocence of hers threatened.
The thought terrifies me enough that a sob gets caught in my throat. I slap my hand over my mouth to not wake up Amity just as Cal reaches the door.
His scent spikes in panic as he makes the few strides to me in the blink of an eye. He doesn't waste a second to pick me up from where I was sitting and makes his way back out of the room.
The moment he closes the door behind us, the flood waters break, as does the sob I was trying to hide.
I bury my face into the curve of Conall’s neck as I let it all out.
I don’t realize until he lays me down on my bed that we are in my room. I should feel some sense of embarrassment or maybe terror at the fact that I am alone with an Alpha.
But I don’t.
All I can feel is the overwhelming sadness for not only my daughter, but also myself.
I cry for everything that has been stolen from me. All the opportunities to be me were taken by the pack that couldn’t be told no.
I cry for my daughter who one day I will have to tell how vile her fathers were. Why she will never get to meet them and why I will always have to look over my shoulder.
I cry for my daughter who will have to face her own troubles with her designation. A female that will have to fight for her strength in a world where other men will be determined to tear it from her.
I don’t know how long my face remains buried in Conall’s chest. All I hear are his reassuring words of comfort and the overwhelming feeling of safety being in his arms makes me feel.
Eventually my sobs dissipate and the darkness of sleep steals me under.