Chapter 36
H anging up the phone, I looked between the guys, unable to form words. It was official—I was leaving tomorrow. I had one more day with these guys, and that was it. I should have been jumping with joy over this development, but instead, I felt a heavy weight in my stomach. I didn't want to leave. I didn't think they wanted me to leave, either, but who was gonna say it?
Wordlessly, Carter put the car into drive and started driving back up the hill. None of us said anything. The air was thick with the smell of our collective displeasure, and it was a scent that made my omega instincts cry with unhappiness. I didn't want my alphas to be sad. My very being as an omega meant that I sought to make my alphas happy.
When we pulled up at the cabin, none of us made a move to exit as Carter put the car in park. It was like we were all too surprised and shocked to move. After a moment of silence, I opened my mouth, unsure of what I was going to say until the words tumbled out.
“I don't have to go,” I said. They all turned to me in surprise, and I continued. “I could stay. I don't have to go, do I? I've been enjoying it here.”
In the back seat, Dylan grimaced and Asher looked downright depressed. He opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find the words and eventually closed his mouth and simply shook his head sadly.
Oh God, do they want me to leave? Have I just stepped my foot in it? Am I throwing myself at alphas who don’t want me? Maybe they were just being nice throughout the heat. Maybe all their sweet words and sweet touches were just to get me through, and they’re looking forward to me being gone.
My heart started to pound as I looked around the cab, tears welling in the corner of my eyes. “Shit. I'm sorry. I know I have been pestering you guys for too long. You're probably happy to be clear of me,” I said, wrenching the door open and making a dash back to the cabin. I didn't even make it onto the porch before Dylan was standing in front of me, a look of utter confusion on his face.
“Of course, we don't want you to fucking go,” he said.
I cocked my head to the side. “But what? Wait, what?” I said, trying to find the right words.
“You need to go,” he said. His words hit me a lot harder than I thought they would, and tears started to gather in the corner of my eyes. With a grimace, Dylan pulled me in for a hug, running his fingers through my hair, peppering the top of my head with kisses.
“But I don't want to go.” Hands touched my back, my neck, as all my alphas surrounded me. “Do you guys want me to go?”
Asher laughed ruefully from my side. “We don't want you to go. But you have to, as Dylan said.”
I pulled myself out of Dylan's arms to look at Asher. “No, if I don't want to go, and you don't want me to go, I don't have to go. I was serious about the stuff I said during my heat.” The words came out a bit shaky, but I kept going. “If you guys have just been being nice to me to placate me through everything, then say so, and I will walk away. But I don't think you have been. There's something here, isn't there? I'm not crazy, am I?” I asked, looking between each of their faces. They all look wounded, and I hated it.
Carter cleared his throat. “You're not imagining it,” he said. “I am pretty sure we are in love with you,” he said sadly.
Why is he talking sadly? This is great news . My heart soared, and a smile spread across my face. They love me. They love me! They are my alphas and I love them and they love me and we are gonna be together. It’s amazing .
“Why don't you look happy about that?” I asked with a grin before the smile slid off my face at his serious expression. Rain started to patter down, but none of us paid attention to it. We were all too focused on each other.
Dylan, behind me, spoke. “Trouble. You were kidnapped, you were held against your will for years, your family has no clue where you are. How do you think they'll feel if you turn up with a pack?”
I cocked my head to the side. “Well, if we've bitten each other, then there's not much they can say about it, is there?” I said pointedly.
Dylan closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He clearly liked the idea because I could see his cock stiffening in his jeans. He took one step forward, cupping my face, his eyes boring into mine.
“We love you, we're not scared to admit it. We have fallen in love with you. You are annoying and stubborn and a pain in our ass, and we cannot imagine a life without you.” Every word he spoke made my mood ricochet, higher and higher, elation filling every fiber of my being. That was until the next part came. “But we have to let you go.”
“Why? Are you guys being obtuse? We like each other. We can make this work. I mean, sure, I'd rather be in a city than a cabin in the middle of nowhere. But…we can make this work.”
Dylan shook his head. “We don't want to make it work. We want this to be right for you. You need so much more than us at the moment. You need medical attention, you need therapy, you need to see your family, and you need to see the world. Juniper, you haven't seen the world as an adult yet,” he pointed out.
“I don't need that to know that I want you guys,” I said. But in the back of my mind, I kind of understood where he was coming from. It wasn't the best of situations to find each other, but I knew, deep down, that I felt something so strong for these alphas that it couldn't be ignored. “You want me to go to the Haven?” I asked as tears gathered in the corner of my eyes, spilling over as I looked between their anguished faces. None of us were enjoying this interaction at all.
Carter cleared his throat. “For a while,” he said.
I whipped around to face him. “What the fuck do you mean? For a while? Carter, be straight with me right now, or I will punch you,” I said, crossing my arms angrily, tears spilling over.
Despite the gravity of the situation, Carter smiled at my words.
“A year,” Dylan said, and I turned to face him. They were all surrounding me, so every time one of them spoke, I had to whip around to face the speaker. “We want you to give it a year. Juniper, even though we've fallen in love with you, we cannot in good conscience start a relationship with you in this situation. Even though you think you can, you can't give full consent to what we're doing. You've been trapped. You've been imprisoned. Hell, for all we know, this could be Stockholm syndrome,” he said.
I opened my mouth indignantly at that. I most definitely did not have Stockholm syndrome. “I still want to stab Alec, even though he’s dead. I clearly don't have that,” I said with a growl.
Asher shrugged. “Alpha and omega dynamics are really powerful things. What I think Dylan is suggesting is you take a bit of time to figure yourself out.”
I glowered at him. “This sounds an awful lot like you guys are trying to let me down gently.”
Carter shook his head. “We're not. We're not going anywhere. We're not going to court any omegas. Our chances to get approved for an omega were slim, anyway. But we have fallen in love with you. The difference between us and you is that we've had our freedom. We have seen the world, we know all the different things our lives can be. I think what we're trying to suggest is you go to the Haven for a year. One year. Go see what the world has to offer. Go and talk to packs, get therapy, get healthy, do everything you can to discover who you are now, Juniper. Because, after a year of freedom, you may not be the Juniper you are now. And we love you too much to drag you into a life, to seal you into this life, in a bond, if that's not what you ultimately want after you have time and space. But, in a year's time, if you still want us, we'll be there with bells and whistles.”
“You would wait for me?” I asked, cocking my head to the side, wiping away my tears.
They all nodded.
“Of course, we would,” Asher said. “We would wait a hundred years for you, but you've got to admit, this isn't the best place for you to be right now. I mean, do you really see the downside in that?”
“Yes, there's a pretty big downside. The downside being that I won't have you guys. Who will I snuggle with?” I asked with a small whine. They all reacted to the sound of my whine, closing their eyes and taking a deep breath that, like my whine, physically pained them.
“We're doing this 'cause we love you, Juniper,” Dylan said. “Remember that we want you to go and experience life, and then if you want us, come back to us, and we’ll be waiting for you. We will have our arms wide open. Well, maybe not all of us. Asher may have his arms closed, but that is purely because he'll be holding loaves of bread,” he said with a wry smile. Despite the tears, I laughed.
I could understand their logic. I knew that it was probably a good idea, and, deep down, part of me actually liked the idea. But the surface level of me hated the idea of being separated from them.
“You'll have your family there, you'll have friends. You won't be on your own,” Carter assured me.
“But you guys seriously want this?” I asked. “You want us?” I looked between them pointedly. “Because if I go there, and I do all the right things, and in a year’s time, I still want you…”
“Then, simply send us a message, and we'll be there,” Carter said. “I promise you, Juniper, we will be there.”
The floodgates opened and the steady stream of tears I’d been experiencing turned into a flood. “I am so sick and tired of not getting what I want,” I said, crossing my arms angrily.
Looking to the sky as tears fell, I was pulled into three sets of arms, each of them whispering pleasantries and comforting words.
Asher spoke next to my ear. “We're doing this so you can have everything you want in the world, sweet girl. We promise we will do everything we can for you now and in a year’s time and in twenty years’ time, okay?”