Chapter 6
6
BEN
My cousin sits with his booted feet on his desk, reclining in his chair. I can feel his scrutiny as he stares at me, and I do my best to ignore it and enter case files into my laptop.
River is…complicated, to say the least. I was convinced he hated me for years—maybe he still does, for all I know.
But he helped me get promoted to detective for Isleton PD, so maybe not. Now I work closely with him and his agency whenever they need extra help.
Skylar, Devyn’s best friend and his Omega, has mellowed him out a bit. He doesn’t call me asshole every two seconds and occasionally asks me questions about my life.
But now he’s staring at me.
I sigh and swivel my chair to face him. “What?”
“I heard Devyn has a date.” His green eyes are critical.
I shrug. “And?”
“You never mentioned it.”
I look at him incredulously. “Why would I mention that to you ?”
Since when do we discuss our personal relationships?
“Because it’s a big fucking deal, dumbass. You could finally be in a pack if this goes well. And it’s her first time dating an Alpha. He has a boyfriend too, right? So technically she could be gaining two Alphas.”
I blink. “Wait. How do you know all that?”
He shrugs and quirks his lip. “The women talk. What can I say?”
I don’t want to discuss this. An uncomfortable feeling churns in my gut.
I didn’t know Connor had a partner, but it doesn’t bother me.
I just don’t like not knowing who he is yet.
I’ll have to do some research.
“You don’t seem too excited,” River continues, still eyeing me critically.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I snap. “Of course I’m supportive of her.”
“I didn’t say you’re not supportive. I said you didn’t look excited.”
He looks completely unbothered, with his boots on his desk and his leather jacket slung over his chair.
The worn jacket that has bite marks on its sleeve.
I didn’t ask. I don’t want to know.
“I’m fine,” I insist, shaking my head. “This is good for her. For us.”
“You’ve never been a part of a pack,” River continues. “Devyn’s the first Omega you’ve dated.”
“And how do you know that? We didn’t talk for, like, ten years.”
“Because I’m not stupid, idiot.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Okay, great. Case closed, then.”
“Ha-ha,” he deadpans. “I’m just saying. You could come to me for…advice, if you wanted. Pointers.”
I’m pretty sure my eyebrows hit my hairline.
“ Advice ?” I parrot.
“Yeah, I mean, do you even know where everything goes when there are four people?”
I gape at him. “What the hell , River. I don’t need you to draw a road map for how to have sex with my girlfriend.”
He chuckles and moves his feet off the desk. “Okay,” he says, spinning his chair to face me. “That was probably a poor choice of words. Let me try again.” He clears his throat and cocks his head. “How are you feeling about this, Ben?” It sounds like he’s reciting a line.
My cousin has lost his mind.
Since when does he care about how I’m feeling, or how anyone is feeling?
He groans and rubs his hand across his face. “Look, Skylar said it would be a good idea to talk to you, and I agree with her, kind of. This shit is scary and new for you and Devyn, or at least scary to Devyn. And I care for that kid, and so does Skylar, so I don’t want you to fuck it up. And that starts with acknowledging your… feelings. ”
“Don’t call her a kid,” I mutter.
“Don’t change the subject. She’s twenty-one years old, so she’s a fucking kid to me.”
I scowl, frustrated that he’s suddenly interested in my personal life. “There’s not much to talk about. I’m fine with everything.”
“That’s the biggest load of bullshit on earth.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Your foot has been shaking since I brought it up, and you’re clenching your jaw. You never do that shit.”
I didn’t even realize it.
My cousin is a good detective for a reason, and I huff in defeat as I still my foot that’s given me away.
It’s a nervous habit of Devyn’s. Maybe I picked it up.
“You’re just not acting yourself,” River adds, scowling. “And it’s annoying.”
“Well, I’m sorry to inconvenience you, but?—”
“What are you worried about exactly?” he interrupts. “Which part is it? The part that she’s going out with an Alpha, or that she’s on a date with someone else?”
It’s not an accusation. It’s a genuine question, and I can’t believe I’m seriously considering opening up to my cousin about this.
“I’m fine,” I mutter.
“Bullshit. What are you afraid of?”
The unsettling feeling returns in my gut.
“It’s not fear.”
“What is it, then? Because it’s fucking something, and it’s written all over your face.”
“It’s…” River glances down at my foot, and I realize I’m shaking it again. He grins knowingly, and I groan.
“Fine. If I tell you, will you leave me alone after this so I can do my job?”
My cousin snorts. “Sure.”
I exhale slowly, still bewildered that River even wants to know about this. “I’m not an Alpha,” I say slowly.
“No shit.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “That’s part of the problem. I’m not an Alpha, and there are things that I’ll never connect with her on. I knew that going in, and it doesn’t bother me. I want her to have a pack. Yet now that it’s finally happening, I’m feeling a little…”
“Insecure,” River finishes for me.
I nod.
“Well, that’s fucking stupid.”
I scoff. “ Okay ?”
“That girl is over the fucking moon for you,” River continues, “and I really don’t know why. You’re a nerd and kind of weird, but you helped give her the courage to go after what she wants. You’re the reason she can do any of this.”
I’m getting whiplash from the combination of insults and praise. “How do you know all that?”
River shrugs. “Like I said. The women talk, and Skylar is worried about Devyn. So, I thought I’d check in with you, like I told her I would.”
“Okay, great. Is that it?” I start to turn my chair around, but River scowls at me.
“No, asshole. Listen to me. According to Skylar, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to Devyn. So, this insecurity shit? It’s bullshit. Stop it.”
“Sure. I’ll do exactly as you say,” I mutter sarcastically.
“Okay, gross,” River sighs and drags a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this.”
I raise an eyebrow, waiting.
He shifts in his chair and huffs before speaking. “You’re a good person, all right? I’ve seen the way you interact with her. What I’m trying to get it at is, you have no reason to be insecure. She’s comfortable searching for a pack because of you. So what if you’re a fucking Beta? Who gives a fuck? Your heart isn’t any different from an Alpha’s. You love her, she loves you, and that’s what fucking matters.” He makes a face. “Fuck. You’d better remember it, and it’d better make you feel better, because I’m not saying it again.” Then he opens his desk drawer and pulls out a white cookie box I recognize from the café and takes a bite of a dark brown macaron.
“Have one of these,” he says around a bite. “And get over it.”
He passes me the box, and I grab a strawberry macaron, turning it over in my fingers.
Truthfully, I do feel a bit better.
I’ve never voiced my concerns regarding Devyn finding a pack with anyone before. I’m just surprised I received words of encouragement from River of all people.
I always try to be strong for Devyn since she has her own worries and guilt with all of this.
The last thing she should concern herself with is my struggles.
I resume my work in silence, pulling up files of unsolved burglaries and petty thefts.
“Thanks,” I mutter after an hour or so of us working in silence.
He doesn’t reply, nor do I expect him to.
Still, my spirits are lifted.
* * *
When I arrive at our apartment, Devyn is asleep on the couch, wrapped in a heavy throw blanket. She’s curled into a tiny ball, making herself as small as possible. The television plays a rerun of her favorite baking reality show competition.
I frown. I know it’s an old habit she’s trying to break. Apparently, she used to sleep like this growing up in the group foster home. There was never enough space in the rooms, and she’s used to making herself as small as possible.
There is always enough space for Devyn now.
I’ve made sure of it.
Her breathing is even and deep, and it almost pains me to interrupt her sleep, but our bed is much more inviting than the couch.
I slowly move her to her side, unwrap her from the blanket, and then scoop her into my arms. She murmurs in her sleep, tucking her head against my chest as she sighs contentedly.
This close, I can smell her. Maybe not as strong as an Alpha could, but I can still scent her faintly.
Vanilla and brown sugar.
Sweet, but not too potent.
Just perfect.
I carry her to the bedroom, deposit her gently on her side of the bed, then cover her with the blanket I gifted her on our anniversary. Her blonde curls fan out around her, creating a light halo on her pillow.
She could have any man she wants.
Any Alpha.
But Devyn chose me, and that means something.
There’s no reason for me to be insecure.
We’re a team. She’s mine, and I’m hers.
No matter what happens next, I’ll be by her side.
I strip into my boxers, then join her in bed, pulling a thick comforter over both of us. I turn onto my side to face her, listening to her gentle breathing until I succumb to sleep.
Her date is tomorrow, and I’ll be damned if I get in the way of her finding her pack.