Chapter 11 #2
"Don't." His voice drops lower. "Don't apologize for wanting something."
"I wasn't going to—"
"You were." His eyes hold mine. "You get this look. Like you're about to explain yourself. Make excuses." He leans forward slightly. "You wanted him. You kissed him. That's not something to be sorry for."
The words settle strange in my chest. Not what I expected.
"Then what do you call what we did in that alley?"
His jaw tightens. "Inevitable."
The word hangs between us, heavy with meaning.
Before I can respond, the bell over the door chimes.
Seth walks in.
My stomach drops.
He sees us immediately—sees me sitting in a booth with Grayson Cole. His hand lifts in an automatic wave, that easy smile starting to form.
Then it falters.
I watch it happen. The way his expression shifts when he really looks at us. At me. Taking in my flushed cheeks, my swollen lips, the way I'm leaning toward Grayson across the table.
The smile doesn't quite reach his eyes anymore.
"Seth!" I half-rise from the booth. "Hey—do you want to—"
He's already shaking his head, pointing toward the window where his cruiser is parked outside. He gestures to his radio, his watch. Work. He has to work.
The message is clear: I can't. I need to go.
But what I see in his eyes is: I don't want to watch this.
"Right. Yeah. Of course." My voice sounds too loud. Too bright.
He nods once. Looks at Grayson with something unreadable. Then he's turning, heading back out the door before I can say anything else.
The bell chimes again as he leaves.
I sink back into the booth. "Fuck."
"Yeah." Grayson's voice is rough.
"I hurt him."
"You did." He's not sugar-coating it. "But you didn't do it on purpose."
"That doesn't make it better."
"No." He leans back, studying me. "But beating yourself up about it doesn't help either."
I glare at him. "You're very matter-of-fact about this."
"Would you prefer I lie and say it's fine?" One eyebrow raises. "Tell you Seth didn't look like you just kicked his puppy?"
"You're an asshole."
"Sometimes." But there's almost a smile. "But I'm an honest asshole."
Despite everything, I feel my mouth twitch. "That's not the selling point you think it is."
"Isn't it?" He tilts his head. "You've had enough people lie to you, Bea. Tell you what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear."
Terrance. He means Terrance, who spent months telling me my career didn't matter, that my wants were selfish, that I should be grateful for what he was willing to give me.
"So what do I need to hear?" I challenge.
"That you're allowed to want more than one person." He says it simply. "That wanting all three of us doesn't make you broken or greedy or wrong."
"I—" I stop. Stare at him. "You think I want all three of you."
"Don't you?"
Heat rises to my face. "That's not—I mean—"
"Bea." His voice is patient but amused. "I watched you make out with River through a window.
I had you pressed against me in an alley three days ago.
And I just watched you try to invite Seth to sit with us even though you knew it would be a disaster.
" He pauses. "Yeah. I think you want all three of us. "
"That's insane."
"Why?" He sounds genuinely curious. "Your parents are in a pack. My parents are in a pack. Pretty much everyone in this town over thirty is in a pack. What's insane about it?"
"But I'm not—I didn't—" I fumble. "I wasn't looking for a pack."
"No one ever is." He shrugs. "They just happen."
I stare at him. "You're being very calm about this."
"About what? That you're attracted to other alphas?" His mouth quirks. "Should I be threatened?"
"Most alphas would be."
"I'm not most alphas." His eyes hold mine. Dark. Intense. "And I'm secure enough to know that you wanting River or Seth doesn't mean you want me less."
The words hit different than I expect. Not possessive. Not jealous. Just... confident.
"You're weird," I mutter.
"You like it." He's definitely smiling now.
"I don't."
"Liar." He leans forward slightly. "You like that I don't play games. That I say what I mean. That I'm not trying to stake some territorial claim on you like you're property."
He's right. Damn him.
"Still weird," I insist weakly.
"Still lying." But his tone is teasing now. Lighter.
Jenny appears with menus, breaking the moment. "You two want to order or are you just going to keep flirting?"
I feel myself flush. "We're not—"
"We'll take burgers," Grayson says smoothly. "Both of us. And fries. She needs comfort food."
"On it." Jenny winks at me before walking away.
I bury my face in my hands. "This town is the worst."
"This town is the best," Grayson counters. "Everyone knows everyone's business, which means you can't hide."
"That's supposed to be a good thing?"
"For someone who runs from her feelings? Yeah." He's still got that almost-smile. "Hard to run when everyone's watching."
"You really are an asshole."
"You already said that."
"It bears repeating."
His smile widens. "Eat your burger when it gets here. You get mean when you're hungry."
"I'm always mean."
"No." His voice softens slightly. "You're scared. There's a difference."
The observation lands too close to home. I look away, out the window where Seth's cruiser is long gone.
"Hey." Grayson's voice pulls me back. "For what it's worth? Seth's a big boy. He'll survive seeing you with someone else."
"Will he?"
"Yeah." He sounds certain. "And if he's half as interested in you as I think he is, he's not going anywhere."
The words settle strange in my chest. Not quite comfort, but something close.
"What about River?" I ask quietly.
"What about him?"
"He's going to be hurt that I lied. That I left."
"Probably." Grayson shrugs. "So apologize tomorrow. Be honest. Tell him you panicked."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that." He makes it sound simple. "Honesty tends to work better than avoidance."
The food arrives. We eat in comfortable silence for a while, the tension from earlier dissipating into something easier.
"So," I say around a fry. "You really watched me make out with River."
"Yep."
"And that didn't bother you."
"I didn't say that." His eyes meet mine. "I said I'm not threatened by it. Those are different things."
"How?"
"Being bothered means I wanted to be the one kissing you." His voice drops. "Being threatened means I think River kissing you means I never will."
Heat floods my face. "Oh."
"Yeah. Oh." He steals one of my fries. "Stop overthinking this, Bea. You're attracted to three alphas. They're all attracted to you. This doesn't have to be complicated."
"It feels complicated."
"That's because you're making it complicated." He points his stolen fry at me. "What if you just... let it happen?"
"Let what happen?"
"Whatever's going to happen." He eats the fry. "Stop running. Stop panicking. Just see where it goes."
I stare at him. "You're very confident that I'm into you."
"I am."
"What if I'm not?" I lift my chin. "What if you're reading this all wrong and I'm actually not that into you?"
His smile is slow and devastating. "You're not that into me?"
"Nope. Not at all."
"Huh." He leans back, clearly fighting a grin. "So the alley was...?"
"A mistake."
"And right now, sitting here with me instead of going home?"
"Pity. You looked lonely."
"Lonely." He's fully grinning now. "Right."
"I'm a very charitable person."
"Clearly." His eyes are dancing. "So you're not into me at all."
"Not even a little bit."
"Good to know." He steals another fry. "Makes this easier."
I narrow my eyes. "Makes what easier?"
"Pursuing you anyway." His grin turns wicked. "See, if you're not into me, then I've got nothing to lose. Can go all out."
Fuck. I walked right into that.
"You're impossible."
"And you're a terrible liar." He's laughing now. Actually laughing. "Your scent gives you away every time, Bea. You can say you're not into me all you want, but your body's telling a different story."
My face gives me away. "That's—you can't just—"
"I can and I did." He looks entirely too pleased with himself. "Nice try though. Almost had me convinced."
I steal three of his fries in retaliation. "I hate you."
"No you don't."
"I really, really do."
"Still lying." His smile softens slightly. "But I'll let you keep pretending if it makes you feel better."
Despite everything, I'm smiling. Actually smiling. "You're the worst."
"You like it."
"I—" I stop. Shake my head. "You know what? I'm not dignifying that with a response."
"That's a yes."
I throw a fry at him.
He catches it. Eats it. Grins at me like he just won something.
"Stop trying to be perfect, Bea. Just be honest."
I steal one of his fries in retaliation. "You're very annoying."
"You like it."
"I really don't."
"Still lying." He grins. "You're bad at this."
Despite everything—despite Seth's hurt face and River's confusion and my own spiral of guilt—I feel myself smile.
"Shut up and eat your burger."
"Yes ma'am."
My phone stays silent. Seth hasn't texted. River hasn't texted again. I should reach out to someone, but I can't make myself do it.
Because if I text anyone, they'll ask where I am. Who I'm with.
And I don't have good answers.
"Want a ride home?"
I look up. Grayson's watching me with those dark eyes.
"What?"
"It's cold. I've got my truck outside." He stands, throws cash on the table. "I'll drive you."
The smart thing would be to say no. Call Ben. Walk. Literally anything other than getting into a vehicle with another alpha when I'm already drowning in guilt and confusion and the realization that I might want all three of them.
But I'm tired. Overwhelmed. And Grayson's the only person tonight who hasn't looked at me like I'm breaking their heart.
Maybe because he already knows I'm a mess. Saw it in that alley when I pressed against him and begged him not to stop.
"Okay," I hear myself say. "Yeah."