Chapter 24
Seth
I've never been more terrified in my life.
Bea's in my arms, crying and desperate, and every instinct I have is screaming at me to help her. To make it stop hurting. But I've never done this before, and what if I do it wrong? What if I hurt her or—
"Seth." River's voice cuts through the panic. Calm and steady. "Look at me."
I drag my eyes away from Bea's face.
"You know what to do," River says. "Your instincts know. Trust them."
"But I've never—"
"Neither had we." Grayson settles beside us in the nest. Close enough to help but not crowding. "First time knotting an omega for all of us. You're going to be fine."
"No, I—" My face burns. God, why is this so hard to say? "I mean I've never. At all. With anyone. I'm—" I can't even finish the sentence.
There's a beat of silence. Then understanding dawns on Grayson's face.
"You're a virgin," River says quietly. Not judging. Just stating fact.
"I know, okay? I know that's pathetic for a twenty-seven-year-old alpha and I should have—I just never—" The words tumble out in a rush of embarrassment and panic.
"I couldn't figure out how to talk to anyone and then it had been so long it seemed even weirder to bring up and now Bea needs me and I don't know what I'm doing and what if I hurt her or—"
"Hey." River's hand on my shoulder, firm and grounding. "Stop. You're not pathetic. And you're not going to hurt her."
"But I don't know how—"
"Your instincts know," Grayson says, and his voice is gentle in a way I've never heard before. "Your alpha knows what to do. We'll guide you through the rest."
"You're not doing this alone," River adds. "We're right here. Every step."
Bea whimpers again, and the sound cuts through my panic. She needs me. Virgin or not, terrified or not, I'm her alpha and she needs me.
Get it together, Monroe.
"Okay," I breathe. "Okay. Tell me what to do."
"Start with touch," River instructs. "Skin to skin. Let her feel you're real and here."
I'm already shirtless—shed it hours ago when the nest got too warm—wearing just my sweatpants. Bea's completely naked, has been since this whole heat started, her skin fever-hot and flushed pink from collarbone to belly.
"Seth." She's pressing against me, her hands sliding over my bare chest, my arms, like she's trying to memorize me through touch. "Please. Need you inside. Need your knot."
My cock throbs at the words, already hard and aching against my sweatpants. My knot is starting to swell just from her scent, from having her pressed against me.
"I know." I cup her face, making her look at me. "I'm going to give you what you need. I promise."
"Now," she begs. "Please, now. Can't wait. Hurts too much."
"She's at peak heat," Grayson says quietly. "Fastest you've seen her cycle back. She needs you now, Seth. No more waiting."
Right. I can do this. I want this. I've been dreaming about being with her since the first time I saw her, and yeah, I'm terrified, but she needs me.
The sight of her—naked and trembling and slick coating her thighs—makes my mouth go dry. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Flushed from chest to belly, pupils blown wide with heat, and between her legs she's swollen and pink and glistening.
"You're—" My voice cracks. I clear my throat, try again. "You're beautiful, Bea. So beautiful."
She makes a desperate sound and reaches for my sweatpants. "Off. Need them off. Need to see you. Need you."
Between the two of us—mostly her, because I'm clumsy with nerves and she's frantic with need—we get my sweatpants and boxers off. My hands are shaking so badly I can barely help. My cock springs free, hard and aching, knot already partially swollen at the base from her scent alone.
Bea's eyes go dark with want when she sees it. Her hand reaches out, wrapping around my shaft, and the feel of her touching me makes me gasp. Nearly makes my knees buckle.
"So hard," she whispers, stroking me. Her thumb brushes over the head and I have to grab her wrist to stop her before I embarrass myself.
"Wait—I'm going to—if you keep—" I can't even finish the sentence. "Please. Let me—I need you to lay back."
She does, spreading her legs for me without hesitation. The trust in that gesture—in the way she opens herself completely, shows me how much slick she's producing, how ready—nearly undoes me.
I start to position myself between her thighs, but River's hand on my shoulder stops me.
"Before you knot her," he says quietly, "taste her first."
"I—what?" My face burns. I've never—I don't know how—
"Use your mouth on her," River instructs, patient and calm. "It'll help take the edge off her heat. And you'll want to know what she tastes like."
"I don't know if I—" Panic rises. What if I do it wrong? What if—
"I'll guide you through it." River settles beside us. "Trust me, Seth. You can do this."
I look at Bea, spread out before me, and the sight makes something primal stir in my chest. I want to taste her. Want to know what makes her fall apart before I'm inside her.
"Okay," I breathe. "Okay. Tell me what to do."
"Start slow," River says. "Kiss her thighs first. Let her anticipation build."
I lean down, pressing tentative kisses to her inner thigh. Her skin is fever-hot, and she whimpers at the contact.
"Good," River encourages. "Now use your tongue. Lick through her folds. Taste her slick."
I do, and oh god. The taste of her floods my senses—sweet and addictive and uniquely Bea. My alpha instincts roar to life. Mine. This is mine.
"Seth—" Bea's hands fist in my hair. "Oh god—"
"Her clit," River instructs. "Right at the top. That bundle of nerves. Use your tongue to circle it, then suck gently."
I follow his guidance, finding that sensitive spot, and when I close my lips around it and suck, Bea nearly levitates off the nest.
"Just like that," River says. "Listen to her sounds. They'll tell you what she needs."
I'm getting lost in it now. In the taste of her, the sounds she makes, the way her thighs tremble around my head. I experiment—licking, sucking, finding what makes her moan loudest.
"You can use your fingers too," Grayson adds. "Push one inside while you work her clit with your mouth."
I slide one finger into her while my mouth focuses on that bundle of nerves, and she cries out. Her inner walls clench around my finger, trying to pull me deeper.
"That's it," River encourages. "You're doing perfect. She's close. Can you feel it?"
I can. Her whole body is tensing, thighs quaking, her fingers tightening in my hair almost painfully.
"Make her come, Seth. She needs it."
I double my efforts, sucking harder on her clit while curling my finger inside her, and she shatters. Screams my name. Her whole body goes rigid, inner walls pulsing around my finger, fresh slick flooding my tongue.
I work her through it, savoring every second, every sound, every pulse of her release.
When she goes limp, gasping for breath, I pull back. My face is wet with her slick, and I can't bring myself to care.
"How was that?" River asks, and there's pride in his voice.
"Incredible," I breathe. "She's incredible."
Bea's looking at me with heat-glazed eyes, chest heaving. "Seth. Need you. Need you inside me now. Please."
I settle between her thighs properly now, and the first touch of my cock against her slick heat makes us both gasp. She's so wet, coating me instantly, and I can feel her body opening for me.
"Go slow at first," River instructs from somewhere nearby. His voice is calm, grounding. "Let her body adjust to you. You're doing great."
I push inside carefully, and the sensation is overwhelming. She's tight—so tight—and hot, and perfect, her inner walls gripping me as I sink deeper. She's gasping, her hands finding my shoulders and gripping hard enough to bruise.
"Okay?" I ask through gritted teeth when I'm only halfway in, holding still even though every instinct screams to thrust. "Too much?"
"No." She's already rocking against me, trying to take me deeper. "Not enough. More, Seth. Please give me more. Need all of you."
I push deeper, inch by inch, and the feel of her stretching around me is almost too much. I'm terrified I'm going to come too fast, going to disappoint her, but then she wraps her legs around my hips and pulls me flush against her.
"There," she gasps, and I'm fully inside her. Buried completely. "So full. You're so deep, Seth. Can feel you everywhere."
"You feel—" I have to stop, breathe. "God, you feel incredible. So tight. I don't know if I can—if I'm going to last—"
"Move," she begs. "Please, Seth, I need you to move. Need you to fuck me."
Fuck. She said fuck. About me. My brain short-circuits.
I start with shallow thrusts, terrified I'm going to hurt her or do it wrong or finish too fast. But she wraps her legs tighter and pulls me deeper with a cry that tells me I'm doing something right.
I hope I'm doing something right.
"Harder," she gasps. "Please, Seth, I need more. Don't hold back. Give me everything."
"Are you sure? I don't want to—what if I—" But she's pulling at me, rocking her hips, and my body takes over before my anxious brain can overthink it.
I give her more. Picking up the pace, finding a rhythm even though I have no idea what I'm doing. The sounds she makes—breathy moans and desperate whimpers and my name over and over—those sounds are the only thing telling me I'm not completely messing this up.
The slick makes everything smooth, and the feel of her around me is overwhelming. Better than anything I imagined. Too good. I'm not going to last.
"Like this?" I ask, adjusting the angle slightly just trying to—and when I hit something inside her that makes her scream, I freeze. "Was that—did I hurt you? Should I—"
"Yes—oh god, yes—right there—don't stop—don't you dare stop—"
Oh. OH. That was good. I did something good.
I do it again, and she screams again, and pride mixed with relief floods through me. I can do this. I'm actually doing this.