Chapter 25
Bea
Iwake up to the overwhelming sensation of him.
Seth's emotions flood through the bond before I even open my eyes—anxiety, protectiveness, love so intense it steals my breath. His cedar-and-rain scent is everywhere. In the sheets, in my lungs, permanently woven into my skin now.
Bonded.
The word sits heavy in my chest. Permanent. Forever. I begged him to bite me in front of River and Grayson, pulled his face to my throat while I was desperate and heat-dazed and—
Oh god. What did I do?
"You're panicking." Seth's voice is rough with sleep, his arm tightening around my waist. "I can feel it through the bond. Bea, please—did I mess up? Do you regret—"
"Oh good, morning panic." I try for sarcasm but it comes out shaky. "My favorite way to start the day."
"Bea—"
"No. Wait." I roll over to face him, and my heart cracks at what I see. His hair is a disaster, there are pillow creases on his cheek, and his eyes are terrified. The deflection dies in my throat. "Seth, no. I don't regret you."
"But you're scared. I can feel you scared." His hand trembles against my hip. "And I—god, I bonded you during your first heat with us. My first time with anyone and I couldn't even wait until you were clear-headed—"
"I asked you to." I cup his face, forcing him to look at me. "I begged you to. You remember that, right?"
"You were in heat—"
"And now I'm not." I press my forehead to his. "Heat's over, Seth. I'm completely myself. Clear-headed. And I'm telling you—I don't regret this bond."
Through our connection, I feel his desperation to believe me warring with his fear. "You said you'd never let anyone rush you again. After Terrance—"
"This wasn't rushing. This was right." My throat tightens. "I'm scared because it's huge and permanent and I did it so fast. But I'm not scared of you. I'm just... adjusting."
"To what?"
"To feeling you constantly." I touch the spot over my heart where the bond lives. "Your anxiety right now—I can feel it like it's my own. Is this what it's going to be like all the time? Because I might need noise-canceling headphones for my emotions."
He makes a choked sound that's half-laugh, half-sob. "Sorry. I'm trying not to freak out but I can't stop thinking about how I—in front of River and Grayson—and you were begging me and I just—"
"Hey." I kiss him softly. "You gave me exactly what I needed. What I wanted. Okay?"
His eyes search mine, still uncertain. But slowly, his breathing evens out. His shoulders drop away from his ears.
We lie there for a moment, just breathing together. His fingers trace idle patterns on my hip—content, protective, possessive in a way that makes something warm and satisfied settle deep in my chest.
I lean up and kiss him. Slow and sweet and lingering. His hand comes up to cup my face, thumb stroking my cheekbone with such tenderness it makes my chest ache.
"Love you," I murmur against his lips.
"Love you too." He nuzzles into me, breathing deep. "Can't believe you're really mine."
A low rumble starts in his chest—he's purring for me. The sound is soothing and possessive all at once, making something warm settle in my bones. I don't correct him, don't remind him about River and Grayson. Right now, in this moment, I am his. We'll figure out the pack dynamics later.
"We should probably get up," I say eventually. "Talk to River and Grayson. Figure out... everything."
"They're already up. I can hear them in the kitchen." Seth nuzzles into my neck, breathing deep. "But we can stay here a few more minutes."
"Seth Monroe, are you suggesting we hide in bed instead of facing reality?"
"I'm suggesting we enjoy being bonded for five more minutes before everything gets complicated." His lips brush my throat, right over where his claiming mark sits. "Is that so wrong?"
It's not wrong at all.
But eventually, we do have to get up. Face the pack. Talk about what happens next.
I borrow one of Seth's shirts—it hits mid-thigh and smells like him, which makes me feel claimed and content—and we head downstairs together.
River and Grayson are in the kitchen. River's making pancakes, and Grayson's leaning against the counter with coffee. Both of them look up when we enter. River's smile goes soft, and Grayson sets down his mug to give us his full attention.
"Morning," River says. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I just survived a natural disaster." I sink into a chair, hyperaware of the claiming mark on my neck. "Heat's done, by the way. In case the lack of me trying to climb anyone like a tree wasn't obvious."
Grayson's mouth twitches. Almost a smile.
"And bonded," I add, touching my neck. The deflection only goes so far when there's literal proof on my throat.
"And bonded," Grayson repeats quietly. He crosses to where we're sitting, setting his coffee down. "We're proud of you, Seth."
Seth tenses beside me. "But I—"
"You took care of her perfectly." River's voice is firm. "We were right there, remember? We saw how desperately she needed that bond. How you tried to resist even when she was begging."
Oh god. Right. They didn't just hear—they watched. Watched me pull Seth's face to my throat, watched the bond snap into place, heard every desperate plea I made.
My face goes nuclear. "So that was... I'm just going to go die of embarrassment now. Anyone know a good place? Preferably somewhere without witnesses?"
"Don't." Grayson's hand lands on Seth's shoulder. "You have nothing to apologize for. Either of you. What we witnessed was—" His voice catches slightly. "—beautiful. Raw. Real."
River nods, and are his eyes a little wet? "You bonded because she needed you. Because you couldn't resist giving her what she was begging for in peak heat. That's not a failing, Seth. That's being exactly the alpha she needed."
"But now I'm bonded and you're not," Seth says quietly. "That's not fair—"
"Seth." River turns from the stove, spatula in hand.
"Do you remember what I told you before?
We're not competing. We're pack. When you bonded with Bea, you made our pack stronger.
" He looks at me. "And watching how much you love him, how much you chose him even in the middle of heat—that was a gift. "
"We're happy for you," Grayson adds. "Both of you."
River and Grayson exchange a look—some silent agreement passing between them. Then River's mouth curves into a soft smile, and Grayson nods once, as if confirming they're good with this.
"Really?" I look between them, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"Really," Grayson confirms. "Now eat. We need to talk logistics."
We eat breakfast together—the four of us around Seth's small table. It should feel strange, but it doesn't. It feels like exactly where I'm supposed to be.
River keeps catching my eye across the table, his grin warm and affectionate. Grayson's hand finds my knee under the table at one point, just a brief squeeze that says I'm here. Seth sits close enough that our shoulders touch, and I can feel his contentment radiating through the bond.
This. This is what I've been afraid to want. And now that I have it, I never want to let go.
"So," River says eventually. "Where are you living, Bea?"
The question lands heavy. Because I can't just go back to my parents' house now. The thought of being separated from Seth, of not feeling him through the bond—
"I don't want to be away from you," I admit, looking at Seth. "The bond pulls. I can't—"
"Then stay," Seth says immediately. "Move in with me. I've got three bedrooms, plenty of space for all of us."
I blink, looking between the three of them. "All of us?"
"We're pack," River says firmly. "You should be with all of us, not just Seth."
"And that spare bedroom," Grayson adds quietly, "could be your office. For your marketing business."
My chest tightens. They remembered. They're offering me space to build my dreams.
"So we're just doing this, then? Full pack cohabitation?" I look between the three of them. "Just like that? No trial period or awkward roommate agreements about whose turn it is to do dishes?"
River grins. "We'll figure out the dishes."
"Are you sure? Moving in together is huge—"
"We're sure," Seth says. His hand finds mine under the table, squeezing tight. "I want you close. Every morning."
Something in my chest cracks open at that. The snark dies.
"Okay," I whisper. "Yeah. Let's do it."
"After Christmas," I add. "It's only a week away. Are we doing Christmas together? As a pack?"
"Hell yes," River says. "First pack Christmas."
"My family does Christmas Eve," I say. "Big dinner. Would you guys... want to come? Meet my parents officially?"
Seth looks nervous. "I'd like that."
"Me too," Grayson adds.
"Count me in," River confirms.
"What about Ben?" Seth asks carefully. "How's he going to take this?"
"Ben will be fine. Probably." I stand. "I should tell him before Mrs. Peterson does. Which gives me about three hours."
Seth stands with me, pulling me into a hug. "You want one of us to come with you?"
"No." I press my face into his chest, breathing in his cedar-and-rain scent. "I need to do this myself. But thank you."
"Take my truck," Seth says, already reaching for his keys.
I pull back to look at him. "Seth, you need your truck for—"
"I'll take the cruiser home after shift." He presses the keys into my hand. "Or I can just... get you a car. We should get you a car. You need your own vehicle and—"
"Seth." I'm laughing now, standing on my toes to kiss him. "You're too sweet, but I don't need you to buy me a car."
"But you need to get around, and my truck is just sitting there, and—"
I kiss him again, effectively cutting off the anxious spiral. "I'll borrow your truck for now. We'll figure out the rest later. Okay?"
"Okay," he breathes, but I can feel through the bond that he's already mentally shopping for cars.
River crosses to us, dropping a kiss on top of my head. "Text if you need backup. We'll be there in ten minutes."