Chapter 18
Bayleigh
I slept like shit. Tossing and turning all night, replaying our conversation in my head. When the sun finally came up, I was groggy and hollow. All I want is to stay curled up in my blankets away from the reality of the world.
All I can think about is Lincoln’s last text to me—“Sure it is.”
If only it could be. As much as I want to believe what he says, my past makes me wary. Other than James and Benton, no one’s stayed around. Cared about me or my feelings. I was just a joke or worse, a way to worm themselves into my brother’s life.
Sitting up, I wipe the sleep from my eyes before looking around my room.
I can’t hide in here and fall back into my old habits.
Never again will I allow anyone to make me feel like I’m less than, just because I can’t hear.
Which, thanks to my failing implant, the sounds I can hear are fading away into quietness.
I throw the blankets off me and swing my legs off the side of the bed, my eyes darting over to my nest in the corner.
It’s nothing major, just a large fluffy pillow that I can cocoon myself in, stuffed animals, and some plush blankets.
And if I’m going to skip the next heat, I need to let Mom know to get the suppressants.
Otherwise, I’ll have to decide what my second option will be. But that’s a problem for another day.
Getting dressed, I head downstairs. When I enter the kitchen, I see Mom and Benton standing at the counter, no doubt waiting for the coffee to percolate.
I can smell the rich scent brewing. They’re signing and talking.
About me. Most would think it’s odd that they’re signing without me in the room, but in this home, it’s second nature.
My parents never wanted me to walk into a room and not know what was being said.
“Benton, honey, you have to let your sister live her own life. You and this Korbin guy aren’t responsible for what Gina did.
You can’t keep carrying that around. It’s time to let it go and for the two of you to drop this silly rivalry you have.
You might be surprised. The two of you might actually like each other. Even become friends.”
“Unlikely. Too much time has passed with too many words said. I know hockey players, Mom. I just don’t want Bayleigh to get hurt again.
I don’t want her to relive the same shit that happened with Joseph.
” He drops down into the chair at the table, and Mom pours a cup of coffee for each of them, taking them to the table.
I step back just enough so that I can still see them sign, but so they don’t notice me. Not yet anyway.
Mom looks lovingly at Benton. “She’s stronger now, more mature, more aware.
You can’t be her shield forever. She’s going to want to live on her own one day.
” She smiles at him, and I cover my mouth, containing my laugh.
She’s right. I do want to live on my own.
Or with a pack, a mate. “And I’d really like an empty nest someday, Benton.
Maybe you should go meet a few omegas yourself. I’d like grandbabies, you know.”
Benton... with a baby. The man is terrified of babies. That would be hilarious. I finally step into the room and clear my throat. Mom looks up at me and smiles.
“Good morning, Sweetheart.”
Benton turns to look at me, but I can still see the pain in his eyes. He gets up and heads to the counter, makes me a cup of coffee in my favorite mug, and brings it back to me. I sit down in the chair beside Mom.
Mom, he can’t flirt. He doesn’t know how. Benton glowers too much.
My loving brother rolls his eyes and actually smiles, just a little.
I’m sorry. For hitting you. It’s just what you said really hurt.
“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have said what I did. It was a low blow.”
“Benton, what did you say?” My mom’s attention is firmly on Benton now, and if looks could kill, he’d be dead.
Mom, it’s okay. We’re past it.
There’s no way I want to cause any more drama because of our fight last night.
“It’s okay, Bay. I fucked up, and I can own up to it. Mom, it's more about who I brought up. I brought up Joseph and compared Lincoln to him.”
She shakes her head as she reaches out, covering my hand with hers, and squeezes gently.
“Oh, Benton, you didn’t.”
I don’t want him to feel any worse than he already does. Mom will give him a lecture if I don’t step in.
Benton, Mom’s right, you know. I’m not the same girl who got broken by Joseph. I’m more cautious now. If there’s fallout, I’ll handle it. But I think Lincoln might actually be different.
I can see the frown already forming on his face. I know he’s already formulating something to say back, and I refuse to give him the chance.
He’s learning ASL. He signed up for classes at the Center downtown.
Mom beams. “That’s adorable. It sure makes it sound like he’s different. Now, doesn’t it, Benton?”
“Yeah, adorable. Still not sure I like it. It doesn’t prove anything. Just because he signed up for a class doesn’t mean he’s going through with it. He could still be exactly what I said he is.”
Mom just grins. “Well, then it’s a good thing that you don’t have to like it. Just ease up, okay?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Fine. But if he hurts you, I’m murdering him.”
Noted. I reply. He gets up, but before he can leave, I stand and rush around the table, wrapping my arms around him, hugging him tightly.
He pulls away, looking straight at me. “I love you, Bay. I will always be your protector. Just know that.” Benton leans in, kissing me on the forehead, and leaves the room.
I go sit back down beside Mom, who already has her hands flying.
So when do we get to meet him? Maybe you could invite him over for dinner.
Mom, he hasn't even asked me on a date yet. We’re still just talking. That’s it.
Well, isn’t that how it starts, sweetheart? She gives me a wink, regaling me with the story of how Dad first asked her out.
I can’t stop smiling. For the first time in a long while, it feels like hope isn’t just some stupid dream—it feels like maybe it’s waiting for me, just within reach. I just have to reach out and take it.