Chapter 20 Kane
Kane
“What are you going to do?” I ask her, holding onto her tighter than I need to.
She won’t run after him, not yet, but I still don’t want to let her go. I want more time with her before Timber sweeps her off her feet with a romantic dinner—without me.
I’m surprised when she sighs, tilting her head to the side so she can press her ear against my cheek.
“I don’t have any choice, do I? Hopefully, traffic is bad, so I can catch a train and get back before him. Then I can rip off this costume before pretending to Timber that everything is okay in his world.”
I nuzzle her again, hoping to layer my scent on her. Even if Timber can’t scent me, if she steps onto the train smelling like an alpha, people will stay the hell away from her. Everyone else in the tunnel left when Timber did, so I had her all to myself.
“Are you sure you want to put yourself through this?” I ask her mainly because I want her to come with me. She never accepted my offer to live in my house, and I can’t see her agreeing unless she’s desperate. I don’t want her to have to beg for anything apart from her alpha’s cocks.
She stiffens, letting out a sigh before she lifts her head.
“I can’t do this, Kane. I was trying to pretend I’m okay because my friend and Timber were here, but there’s no reason to now.”
My grip falters as she jerks away, turning to face me, and the anger that flashes there makes my heart drop.
“You’ve been standing there grinning and flirting the whole time, but why the hell did you force us into this?” she asks, her tone hard. She throws me off guard with the sudden change, and I blurt out the first thing I can think of.
“What? What do you mean, I forced you? You didn’t need to come as Ollie. You didn’t have to dress up like this,” I shoot back. I made it sound like it was her fault, and we both know exactly who’s to blame.
“No, I didn’t. I didn’t have to come at all.
But I wanted to see my alphas play their sport.
I wanted to spend time with my friend and forget about all the crap that I’ve dumped on myself.
I needed a chance to be normal so I can stop feeling like I’m being crushed inside every time I’m away from you both. ”
“Ollie…” I reach for her again, but she shakes her head as she steps away.
“You asked me if I wanted to put myself through this, like you weren’t the one who made this up. There is no way Timber would get it into his head to invite Luke and Ollie to a game unless someone put him onto it. It’s not like I’ve kept it a secret how messed up I am over all this.”
“Ollie, I just want us—”
“I’m not finished,” she snaps as she pulls off her hat and shakes it at me as gentle waves of her blonde wig fall around her shoulders.
“Wearing this stupid getup at least distracts me from how I have to go back to Timber and lie to him again. I’ve only met him as Ollie once, so I just wanted to look him in the eye as her and see if he still gives a shit about me when I’m not hitting on him. ”
“You just hit on him, though?” I say, my brow furrowing, and she growls again. I’m screwing this up so badly.
“My omega side can take me over, too, you asshole. I want to be with Timber so badly, I’m happy to embarrass myself by looking like this just to be closer to him. If there’s even a chance he’ll touch me, I’m going to take it. Did it ever cross your mind that it’s not just your attention I crave?”
My chest grows tighter as panic sweeps over me, because I know I’ve pushed it too far. Before, it was like I was playing games with my mates to get them to fall in love. I got too excited when I sucked off Timber, and it’s backfiring hard. If I don’t say something now, I’ll screw it up for good.
“Of course it does, sweetness. I think about it every single day because I want you to stop hurting. I want the three of us to be happy together, and you can make life easier for yourself by telling Timber the truth.”
The sound of anger that rumbles from her sets my body on fire. I shouldn’t be thinking about sex while we’re having our first argument. That doesn’t stop the thoughts of how she could hurl that anger at me while she has me pinned under her as she rides my cock.
“Stop saying you’re doing any of this for me!
Or us. You’re doing it for you.” She waves her arms around as she talks.
It feels as if I step too close, I’ll catch a fist. “You just want your perfect pack with your sexy little omega who’s going to join your family and live happily ever after.
But it doesn’t work like that, Kane. If you want us to be a pack, take a moment to think about what Timber and I want instead of deciding you know what’s best for us. ”
Her jaw clenches as I step toward her, but she doesn’t back away.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly. “I mean it. I know I wasn’t thinking, but I just need you both so badly.”
She blows out a fast breath. “For fuck’s sake.
I thought you were better than this.” Ollie scowls at me, and her words cut deep.
“I knew you could be a piece of shit after you pulled those stunts at the restaurant, but grow up. If you really want to be with us, then help me. Don’t just stand there and tell me you know what’s best for me.
Be the alpha you showed me you could be when I called you that night. ”
I’d already learned to keep my mouth shut, even though I wanted to pour out explanations for why I did this.
She folds her arms as her glare hardens.
“Kane,” she growls, regaining her composure.
“I love when you flirt, and joke, and make everything easier, but don’t use me like this.
I don’t want an alpha who’s going to push and shove me into doing what he wants.
I want an alpha who loves me for the decisions I make, not the decisions he wants me to make. ”
She lets me put my hands on her shoulders. Her sigh falls from her as she dips her head, her body shaking.
I’ve seriously fucked up. I’ve genuinely hurt her, and ‘sorry’ won’t cut it. I thought we would always be okay because our scent match was infallible. I thought I could keep pushing us because, no matter what, the love that came from our match would never break.
I have to focus and not let my special power of putting my foot in it come into play.
“I meant it when I said I’m always going to be there for you, Ollie.
I’ve just been so obsessed with being a pack that I haven’t thought about the long term.
” Or I’ve been so sure that we’re going to be a pack that I thought the risks were worth it.
But if I lose her here now, I don’t know if I can survive.
“You’re both so important to me. When I knew you and Timber had scent matched, I basically lost my mind. I just want us to be together now.”
She rolls her eyes, but she doesn’t push me off.
“How the hell is that going to work if me and Timber are pissed off with you because you keep playing games like this? I can’t trust you if I don’t know whether what you’re saying is what you really want, or if you’re just spouting lies because you’re manipulating us. ”
My heart drops to my feet as my panic grows. It’s clutching me like a vice, and I’m scared I won’t be able to fix this.
“If you want us to trust you, why don’t you treat us like people instead of chess pieces?
Yeah, I’m terrified of what’s going to happen if Timber finds out.
Why do you think I’m running away? But I already decided what I’m going to do ages ago, so don’t interfere.
” She scowls again, and my eyes shutter closed.
She’s right. I honestly thought I could mash them together like at the restaurant, and it would all work out.
“I need an alpha who’s in my corner, Kane. If you can’t do that, leave me alone. I won’t be with someone who makes my life harder because he thinks he knows better than me.”
The pain that shudders through her soaks into Ollie's scent, and my alpha side is telling me I have to wrap my omega up and comfort her.
I’m the one who did this by pushing her. That look of pain is my fault. It feels like the same cocky arrogance I had when I smashed up Timber’s face, and I was convinced that he despised me. Until I actually stopped and listened to him.
I need to do the same thing here. I don’t want to spend another ten years ignoring her like I did every time Timber told me, It’s okay, you were just a kid, because I was sure I knew his true feelings.
“I really am sorry,” I say as my hands fall from her shoulders. “I thought if you told him outright, then things would be easier for you.”
“That’s my choice, not yours.”
Chatter bursts from the end of the tunnel, echoing down to us, and she jumps.
She quickly pulls out her phone, her face hardening as she checks the time.
“I have to run, but you better believe we’re going to talk about this later,” she growls. “You should hope this ends well with Timber, because I’m blaming you if it all goes up in flames. And not the sexy kind.”
I’d rather she blamed me than took it all on herself like she’s been doing since we met.
She misses my stupid wave as she shoots off, running faster than when I chased her in the hospital. I don’t know if I can catch up to either of my mates when I’m stuck acting like this.
I should have stopped her, made her listen, explained my side more, so I didn’t watch her go with this heavy dread that I’ll never see her again.
Watching her sprint down the tunnel, another sudden panic hits me, one that she must have felt all along. What if it really doesn’t work out? What if Timber rejects her? What if I’ve pushed them too hard, too soon, and we can’t fix it?
My family always said that a scent match is the secret ingredient to staying together forever, but what if, in the end, that isn’t enough for Timber to forgive her?