Chapter 26 Ollie
Ollie
The silence is unbearable as he hands me my jeans, his gaze fixed in a permanent look of shock as he stares at the floor.
I knew it would hurt when he found out, but this is Temple of Doom level of tear your heart out.
I’d already shown him my tears, and I don’t want any more to fall in case he thinks I’m manipulating him.
My legs and pussy spasm as I stand, my core aching, and my nipples begging for attention, but I don’t have the right to ask anything else from Timber.
He leans against the giant fridge, his arms folded as I pull my jeans on and try not to choke at the pain bouncing through my body as my heart breaks with every second of silence.
We told each other we love each other, but it feels like I’ve chained Timber even more tightly with my lies. His confession rings in my ears, and I want him to at least understand why I did it.
“My brother’s in hospital,” I say softly, and Timber flinches.
“That’s why I called myself Luke. We can’t afford the bills, and this job with you was the only way to pay for them.
But I’ve never dressed or acted differently than I did before I met you.
The Luke you know is still me; it’s just a different name. ”
His head shoots up, and his gaze sinks right through me. “So you thought sneaking into my life as this would work? What were you going to do? Wait until your heat and make me sign away all my money? Or were you going to go for the long game, where we became a pack, and you milked me for all I had?”
“No, that’s not it! Why do you think I’m leaving? If I wanted your money, I would have done it differently. I didn’t fall in love with you because of that.”
His growl grows, along with the darkness in his eyes.
“What then?” he snaps, pushing off the fridge to storm toward me.
“Did you just use me to come as many times as you want? Or shall I really just fuck you instead? Then I’ll give you all my contracts to control, and you can go to the tabloids and make money that way.
Would that make you fucking happy?” he spits.
“Timber! Just listen to me!”
His surprise as I shout back just makes everything hurt more, and I waver. My head tilts back to look up at the giant alpha I’ve been craving for so long, and his size makes me slick all over again.
I shouldn’t be angry, but his words now and when I was on the floor have cut so deeply that I don’t know if I’ll ever recover.
He’s right there, looming over me. Even though he looks murderous, I know he won’t hurt me, not like that.
“I’m not your ex, or some sneaky omega. I’m nothing like that. I didn’t even come here for you, and I didn’t know we were scent matches until we met in Marilyn’s office. None of this was ever about you.”
Plus, everything would have been easier if we hadn’t matched.
“I didn’t mean for it to go like this, Timber, I swear. I couldn’t find a way to fix it without making it worse. That’s why I planned on leaving, for both of us.”
“So running away was your solution? You’ll just block my number and hide from me so you don’t have to deal with any of the fucking consequences. If you were really leaving for both of us, you would have talked to me instead of this shit.”
I open my mouth to reply, but I don’t have a good answer. “No, I hadn’t thought that far. I just wanted to get through my heat, and then I could decide what to do next.”
“I’m your alpha, Ollie,” he snarls, and the words go straight to my core. “I’m supposed to be fucking here for you.”
I clench my jaw closed and hope he can’t see the way my hands shake. I loved feeling small when I was tucked in his arms, but now I can’t stand in front of him without trembling.
“Why do you think I’ll trust you again if you can’t trust me to be with you when you need me the most?”
Another sigh escapes him as he runs his hand over his buzz-cut.
“How do you think it makes me feel to know my omega is going through her heat alone?” he asks as his hand balls into a fist as it falls. “How the hell am I supposed to stay calm when all I can see is you crying out for me, and I don’t know how to reach you because you've run away?”
His questions keep coming, and I can’t reply. I’ve screwed it up so badly that I’m going to bawl if I answer any of them properly.
I deserve to suffer through my heat alone because of all of this. Even though my heart is singing at his words, I never expected him to admit his feelings to me. I thought the drunken confession would be the most I would ever get from him.
“And what about Kane? Are you inviting him to your heat?”
“Hell no!” I gasp. “I told you. I’m not doing anything like choosing him instead of you. It’s either both of you or neither of you.”
He shakes his head, gritting his jaw. “I can smell your slick. I can’t even tell if it’s because of me or if it’s because we’re talking about Kane.
” More pain travels across his face as he lets out a shuddering breath.
“Your scent drives me so fucking insane that it’s like I can’t breathe without you.
If I feel like this about you, you have to feel the same way about him.
Why the hell would I trust anything either of you says at this point? ”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I look straight at my feet again because if I look at his chest, I’m going to lose it. “But you’re my alpha,” I say, and I hear him suck in a breath. “I can’t go through my heat without you, but I won’t force you into anything either.”
His growl rumbles deep, and he moves so close that the heat of his body brushes me.
“You keep saying that you’re sorry, and that you ‘know’, but you don’t have a fucking clue.
After everything I told you about my ex-wife, after all the shit I told you I’ve been through…
Ollie.” I jump as he grips my chin, making me look up and meet the storm in his eyes.
“I’ve been so fucking terrified of these feelings I have for you—for Luke—and I wanted to push through and be with you because you are important enough for me to try.
Do you even understand what it means to find out you’ve been lying to me like this? And that I still fucking love you.”
His words stab through my heart. “Timber, I told you. I love—” I move to grasp him as his hand falls from my chin, but he knocks me away.
“I don’t want to hear it again. I’m fucking tired, and I can’t think straight when you smell so good.”
“What do you want to do now then?” I ask quickly because I’m exhausted too. Everything feels too heavy, and I just want to get away from this conversation, even though we have to have it.
“I need some time to think,” he says coarsely. He grabs his jacket from the side of the counter, still not looking at me as he zips it up.
“I’ll be gone by the time you get back,” I say, and he just nods before he turns his back on me and leaves.
As the garage door slams, my breath flies out of me, and my whole body slouches. My thighs are spasming, and my pussy aches, so I lean against the counter for support.
I squeeze my eyes closed to stop the pathetic tears that are fighting to get free again.
I don’t deserve to cry when this is my fault.
Even running after him is stupid when he’s asked for space. Maybe if I get to him before his car pulls out of the garage, I can beg and plead with him to let me explain it properly. I was so startled by everything that I couldn’t tell him what really happened to Luke, and how bad it was for us.
“For God’s sake!” I yell out, slamming my fist on the counter and soaking in the pain that shudders through my hand.
With everything I know about Timber, any excuse I have for him won’t work. He wants space, and, no matter how much it guts me to step back and wait for him, I’ll give him all the space he needs to decide how much he hates me.