Chapter 29
Ollie
Iturn the cardboard cup of hot chocolate between my hands as we walk down the street.
I wouldn’t say I never imagined doing something so normal with Kane, but getting drinks before meandering through town is way different from dressing up to go to dinner or him eating me out at the hospital.
I’ve been freaking the hell out and nearly on the verge of tears since I left Timber’s house.
I can’t breathe without feeling like I’m going to have a panic attack.
It’s driving me crazy because this isn’t me.
I’m not like these weak-ass needy omegas who cry about missing out on their alpha’s farts.
I should be better than this, but when I saw Kane, I got all stupid and gooey, and now, I’m forcing back my smile even though I’m still annoyed at him.
I wanted to drive straight back to my apartment, but when Kane invited me for a drink, I couldn’t say no. Because, honestly? I need my alpha.
As soon as he turned up on my run, my heart unlocked, and a calm I’d only ever found with him flooded me like a sad, horny dam break. Plus, walking next to him through the morning rush of people racing to get to work meant he’d put his arm around me and pull me to his side.
“To make sure no one else can sweep you off your feet except me.”
And what kind of person doesn’t fall for that? Smooth asshole.
His brand of silly sexiness helps so much when everything else feels jumbled and sore.
“What’s your plan now then?” he asks. He strokes his thumb over my upper arm as his lavender flows over me.
“Well, first of all, I’ve got a shitty alpha to ream out.”
“I thought we already went over this?” he said, rubbing his stomach like he didn’t have abs so hard I could crack my teeth on them. Or his teeth.
I press my lips together and give him a look, but he just grins straight back. I can add ‘Kane’s chiseled smirk’ to my extensive list of turn-ons.
“I need to go home and shower—alone,” I say as he opens his mouth, definitely planning to ask if he can join. “Then I have to talk to Luke about selling our apartment.”
I already know he’s going to ask me to live with him again, so that’s probably why he doesn’t. Could this be the new age of Kane, where he doesn’t coerce his mates into doing what he wants?
“I need to look for jobs. I already talked to Marilyn about ‘Ollie’s’ accident, so it won’t be super suspicious that I’m suddenly leaving. And if she follows it up, Luke has a wig and dress ready.”
“Of course he does,” Kane says dryly, and I chuckle.
“I think it’s either going to be a boring office job, or I’ll find some shady guy who pays a curious amount for delivering parcels. If you know what I mean?” My dealer owes me one after everything I’ve been through thanks to him.
I smirk up at him, but his serious expression is back.
Sighing, I dip my chin. It would be easier if we could both pretend it was going to be okay.
“Maybe we’ll consider your offer in the future, if things get really desperate. But, Luke and I will see what else we can do for now.”
“Then why don’t you talk to Timber?”
“It’s up to him if he wants to talk to me. I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with the other person if I found out they had been lying to me the whole time. I’m just collecting my stuff and then leaving it at that.”
“Can’t you at least try reaching out?”
“I had so many chances to tell him the truth, and I kept hiding from it. I don’t deserve another chance with him.”
“What about Timber deserving a chance with you?”
I pause, my brow furrowing. I’ve always been the one lying to Timber, so it’s never a question of his having to prove anything to me. I knew it was going to end up like this one way or another, so what did it matter if Timber wasn’t good enough for me?
It wasn’t as if I had high standards, or any standards. After everything our grandparents put us through, I wasn’t exactly going out of my way to find an alpha. Two just happened to drop onto my lap at the same time.
“Come on,” Kane hums as he keeps scent marking me. “We should team up and be annoyed at Timber together instead of him being pissed off at us all the time.”
“You’re the one who always makes him angry.” I glance at him again. “This is my first real argument with him.”
“You’re saying ‘first’ like you plan to have more arguments in the future!” he says, as if he’s caught me out.
I peek up at him as he happily takes another sip of his hot chocolate.
Steam floats from his mouth in the bitter winter air.
Everyone around us feels the cold more harshly, with people hunched over, decked out in hats and scarves, muttering against the chilly wind.
And Kane and I snuggle closer to each other like dumbass mates who can’t get enough of it.
He can go on all he wants about protecting me from the crowd, but I’m just using him as a radiator that comes with a cock.
I sigh again, wondering if it would be better to have no Timber and no arguments, or Timber and lots of arguments. I’m making life easy for myself by cutting and running while the wounds are still fresh.
“Why are you annoyed with him anyway?” I ask.
“Because you look like that,” he says, pointing straight at me.
I give him a questioning look, and he sparkles in that way of his.
“You look like you’re in permanent shock, sweetness. It’s written all over your face. Luke says you’ve been growing paler since you moved in with him, but I’m angry that Timber let it go this far.”
“What… what are you talking about?” I ask as my mind does a quick ‘Previously On’ and I remember how much I’ve actually gone through in the past month.
And yeah, I’ve been totally fine since I moved in with Timber.
“He knew you were scent matches ever since you met at the restaurant, but he let you get to a place where you were throwing yourself at me at the hospital because you were so wound up. I’m frustrated because, instead of taking care of our omega, he went off in his own head.”
That doesn’t sound right, though. It wasn’t like Timber did it deliberately to hurt me or anything.
I don’t know when he found out I’m an omega, but I thought I was super cool and hid my feelings.
Like when I nuzzled him after he passed out drunk after our date.
Or I pressed my face into his chest at the market.
Or when I slicked on a freaking dish towel he stole like it was his lunch.
Okay, so, definitely extenuating circumstances.
“I had to keep my secret, Kane. I couldn’t go around doing whatever I wanted when I could have been caught.” Even though I’ve snuck into Timber’s room to steal his clothes and rub myself all over his bed.
“He could have at least held you.” Kane sighs, pausing so he could swoop down and press his nose straight against mine.
“All I need to do is feel your skin and smell your scent, and all my worries drift away. Even if you didn’t want to tell him who you really were, he could have marked you every now and again to stop you from going feral every time you saw me.
Not that I don’t like to think I’m so irresistible that you want to leap on me whenever I’m near you, but there’s a difference between horny and touch-starved, sweetness. ”
“It’s more complicated than that,” I mumble. Because every time Timber even looked like he was feeling it, I became the mayor of Slick City.
“Are you sure about that? We both have needs, and you’re fulfilling half of mine just by snuggling into me like this.” He grins as he pulls back, and my heart is fluttering like a stupid, pretty princess as he hums, “So, do you want to let this go?”
“Let what go?” I ask as we walk again.
“Us being a pack. I know you’re annoyed because I’m usually thinking about myself, but I meant it when I said I’m always going to be there for you.
I’m your alpha, Ollie. Unless you reject me point-blank, I’m never going to give up on you.
I’m yours until you decide you’re done with me, whether that’s now or when we’re old and gray. ”
My heart clenches, and my hands tighten around my cup. The same tension I felt when he talked about meeting his family winds its way through me again.
“You’re making it into this huge thing, like we have to make a choice right now or the world will end,” I say with a spooky voice.
“Can’t you just give it some time? I’ve spent the past month pretending to be someone else.
I want time to go back to being me before I decide anything like that.
Besides, we can’t be a pack without Timber. ”
He sighs, but he’s still smiling. “I like that it has to be both your alphas. I don’t want to stop trying with either of you, but I don’t want it to be a competition between us.
Mainly because I’m pretty sure Timber would choose you in a heartbeat, and I’m terrified that you’ll choose him, too.
I’m just a poor love-struck alpha, and you two have all the power here. ”
“Really?” I ask as I stop, turning to look at him. “I can’t believe you’re playing the pity card when you manipulated Timber and me and forced us together just so that it could fall apart.”
“Er, manipulated is kind of a strong word.”
“Is it though?”
He grimaces because he knows I’m right. Even if he likes to act all innocent, I can’t trust that he doesn’t have an ulterior motive for everything he’s doing. Even this impromptu hot chocolate date is probably part of some nefarious plan he’s cooking to get Timber and me to make up.
But he doesn’t let go of me, and the steam from our cups swirls together, and he leans in closer.
“I know. I’ll keep saying sorry forever, but I can’t help myself, okay? I’m cursed to live a life where all I want to see is you two bone so that I can relax.” He smirks, but it quickly vanishes as he dips close. “So, I’m asking you, sweetness, how do you feel about Timber?”
The rhythm of our breaths helps calm the noise in my brain and the nerves bouncing around my body. With Kane holding me, no one else comes close, and it is just us in this warm space together with the frosty air hanging around us as Kane waits for my answer.
“I really love him, Kane,” I whisper as I push my lips against the rim of my cup, like that could stop the pain that laces my words. “And it sucks ass because it’s not like I can just cut out these feelings and chuck them away. Whether or not you pushed us into it, I also did this to myself.”
He hums as if he’s thinking about it, even though I’m sure he’s already two steps ahead. “Well, what are we going to do about it then?” he asks.
“What do you mean by ‘we’? I’m just going to get my stuff, and then I’ll be off. I can deal with my feelings myself,” I say, as I’ve totally been eating and sleeping normally since I left Timber’s place and have not gone off the deep end.
“You just love bolting, don’t you? Then how do you feel about me?”
I run my eyes over him, just like he did to me when he pounced on me in the woods. He really is a walking wet dream, especially when he looks at me so hopefully.
A laugh bubbles up inside me that washes away all the nerves I feel about admitting my feelings for Timber.
“If I tell you the truth, what are you going to do about it?” I ask.
Then it’s his turn to check me. “What do you want me to do?” he purrs. “Because I’ve had plenty of time to think of things I’d like to do with you, and I’ve had some great ideas.”
“Calm down, boy, I need to see Luke, and you know how happy he’ll be if you tag along with that horny look on your face.”
I snort as he takes my hand, wrapping his gloved fingers through mine. “That’s perfect, because I don’t have any plans for the day, so I can be utterly and completely yours.”