38. Oliver
38
Oliver
Breakfast simmered on the stove, and I was uncharacteristically nervous as I finished cooking the eggs I was carefully shifting back and forth in the pan.
It had been a few days since the little...encounter Lilah and I had had in the middle of the night, and I wasn’t proud to admit that my avoidance of her had continued in the days since.
At this point, my distance was less because I wanted to be considerate of her medical condition—the one I had caused, so there was still some of that, there, too—but more because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to hold back the next time we were alone in a room together.
The memory of the way she had fallen apart in front of me, the sweetness of her scent that had permeated the bathroom long after she’d scurried away and left me with my dick in my hand...
My cock twitched in my pants at the thought, and I bit back a groan as I reached down and pressed the heel of my palm up against the half-hard length.
I knew she was bothered by my distance—both by the slight distress in her scent whenever I caught a whiff of it and from what Killian and Emmett had individually told me—but I was finally ready. I was ready to see her and spend time with her, alone , and control myself enough that we could make real progress towards repairing the relationship I’d shattered.
I hadn’t told her that this was something that I was planning to do—I was just hoping she would be amenable to spending the day with me. I’d taken the day off in preparation, and ushered Emmett and Killian out of the house before Lilah had woken up today.
Which meant that the two of us were in the house, alone, for the first time since...everything.
Fuck , I was nervous.
I hummed softly to myself in an effort to control my nerves. I heard the exact moment she woke up and stirred her bedroom upstairs. My sensitive ears perked up, and my heart rate jumped. I continued cooking, plating the eggs, hash browns, and sausage, and waiting patiently as she shuffled around upstairs. Then, slowly, she opened her door and started making her way down to the kitchen.
I could smell confusion in her scent, and by the time she walked into the kitchen, I was a nervous fucking wreck.
God, I hoped this was going to go well.
I hated feeling so uncertain. It was wholly unlike me, but...well, this was a situation of my own making. I’d made my bed, so I needed to lie in it.
Lilah made a soft sound behind me, clearly not wanting to startle me as she approached. “Good morning, Oliver,” she said cautiously.
I turned around, holding a plate I had already filled and smiling at her, even as my stomach flipped again and my nose filled with her sweet scent. She was wearing a soft pair of house shorts underneath an oversized white shirt, and I could pick up Emmett’s scent on her, no doubt from the shirt that she was wearing.
Despite the complications between us, the sight of her wearing my packmate’s clothes soothed my inner alpha. At least something was going right in this entire clusterfuck of a situation.
Lilah’s eyes widened slightly as she saw what I was offering and then flicked up to mine, uncertain.
“Good morning, Lilah,” I responded, keeping my voice gentle. I handed the plate over to her and then nodded at the dining room. “Why don’t you go and sit down? I’ll join you in there in a moment.”
She narrowed her eyes a little bit, and I could see her going over my actions in her head, as if I were playing a game and she was trying to figure out my end goal. Her suspicion made me sad, but it also made me want to laugh—just a little bit.
She was right to be suspicious, but not for the reasons she thought.
“Okay,” she said, drawing the word out slowly as she took the plate. She eyed me one more time before turning and walking away, her head swinging this way and that, clearly looking around for the other members of our pack.
I couldn’t stop myself from snorting at the entirely unsubtle gesture. She wouldn’t find anyone else, at least for a little bit.
I loaded up my own plate and joined her in the dining room, where she was sitting at the head of the table, picking at her eggs. Her eyes immediately flicked to mine as I took a seat next to her, and then they darted down my body, registering that I wasn’t wearing the usual dress clothes I wore to work.
“Where are the others?” she asked. She looked around as if drawing my attention to the fact that we were the only two sitting around the table and then looked at me again.
I swallowed. Showtime . “They’re not here. I sent them away this morning because I wanted to spend some time with you. Alone.”
Her eyes widened slightly, and her tongue flicked out to drag along her lower lip. “Alone?”
I nodded, clasping my hands together on top of the table to hide how they trembled.
“I...I know you’ve been hurt by how I’ve been avoiding you,” I started, carefully choosing my words. “It was never my intention to hurt your feelings, but then again, it was never my intention to hurt you, period.” I grimaced a little and continued, “I wanted to give you some time to recover without my interference, but Emmett and Killian both let me know that my intentions, while ‘honorable’ and ‘noble’—their words, not mine—were causing you stress.” I chewed the inside of my cheek for a moment, then continued, flushing a little, “And after what happened the other night...”
A light flush rose in Lilah’s cheeks, matching mine. Her scent tinged with embarrassment and arousal, and I knew she was remembering what had happened between the two of us just as vividly as I was.
I waited until her scent simmered down a little bit before continuing. “I thought that what happened was an indication that things were starting to get better—between the two of us, I mean.” I watched her carefully for a moment before finishing, “Which is why I would like to spend time with you today, just the two of us, so we can get to know each other on a deeper level than we have.”
I offered a small, sheepish grin even as guilt curdled low in my stomach. “I’m sure you figured out that I wasn’t the most open with you the first time around when we were trying to build to this pack,” I said. “I’d like to fix that.”
Lilah regarded me for a moment, her eyes narrowed. I could see every single suspicious thought written on her face. “I did notice that,” she finally said. “It didn’t bother me too much at the time, but now...”
“I know,” I said quietly when she trailed off. I paused and swallowed thickly before saying, “I’m sorry. Truly.” I looked down at my hands, refusing to meet her gaze as I continued, “I’m sure you’ve noticed that I don’t especially do well with being told I’ve made a mistake or that the decisions I’ve made aren’t necessarily what’s in the best interests of myself or the pack. I can be a bit of a stubborn asshole, and I have too much pride for one person.”
A moment passed, heavy with tension, and then Lilah snorted, breaking it. “You could say that,” she said, her voice warm with amusement.
I was startled when I felt a gentle touch on my wrist. I looked up, seeing her watching me with a far more open and accepting gaze than she had been before.
“You’ve made mistakes, Oliver. I’m going to be the first to tell you that, and I will be the first to hold you accountable when you fuck up,” she said firmly. A moment passed, and then she continued, her voice a little softer, “But if I kept holding you accountable for something you’ve apologized for and something you’re clearly trying to remedy and make up to me, that would make me just as much of an asshole as you can be.” She winked, and the tiny gesture made me snort. ”And I’m not an asshole.”
“No, you’re not,” I agreed, chuckling softly.
She squeezed my wrist one more time before letting me go and picking up her fork to dive into the breakfast I had made her. She started eating, and I felt a rumble of satisfaction from my wolf as I watched our omega eat the food I had cooked.
Alphas were protectors and leaders, yes, but they were also caregivers above all else. Society commonly accepted that omegas were the ones who did the caregiving for the pack, but alphas were intended to be the providers. We were meant to make things easier for the rest of the pack, including the omegas, and support them in their roles as emotional caregivers, mothers, and lovers.
I had massively failed in that endeavor, but that didn’t mean things were over between us. It just meant I would have to work much harder to prove to her that I was a changed man—and a changed leader.
The two of us ate silently for a while, and then Lilah looked up at me from underneath her eyelashes, smiling shyly. “So, tell me about yourself.”
I cocked my head to the side, setting my fork down and smiling at her. “What would you like to know?”
She shrugged one shoulder, forking another bunch of eggs and sausage into her mouth and chewing. “Anything. Let me get to know you this time.”
Her voice was surprisingly vulnerable, and I felt another stab of guilt inside me. I clasped my hands together in front of me, blowing out a breath.
“Okay, well, I was raised here. I have four siblings—three sisters and a brother—and my parents’ pack has two alphas, a beta, and my mother, who is their omega.”
Lilah’s eyes widened slightly, and she let out a low whistle. “Big family.”
I nodded, a small smile tugging at my lips at the thought of them. “We don’t talk that often, and we aren’t a super close family, but I love them. My sisters are all betas, and they’re all staunchly anti-pack, independent women.”
I chuckled a little bit, and then continued, “My brother is an alpha, and he has a pack of his own with his best friend, who’s a Beta, and their own omega, who they met in college. They registered to court with the state as soon as they were allowed to, and then they bonded a couple of months ago in this big ceremony.” I paused, and then finished, “About a month before we met you, actually.”
Lilah nodded again, her expression thoughtful as she picked up the glass of orange juice I had set out for her and taking a sip. “Did you always want to be the Prime Alpha of your own pack?”
I shook my head. “Emmett and Killian foisted that on me.” I chuckled softly. “We met in college, and the three of us knew we would eventually want to start our own pack despite all being alphas. I’m sure you’ve realized that all-alpha packs aren’t very common, especially when there’s an omega involved. We’re possessive fuckers, and managing that much testosterone can be...challenging.”
Lilah nodded, and I lowered my chin as I continued, “Deciding who would be head of the pack was always a point of contention in other packs I saw, but neither Killian nor Emmett wanted the Prime position. When we registered our pack, and they asked who would take over as Prime, neither of them even offered.” I shrugged a little. “I don’t mind. I have a tendency to bulldoze over everyone else’s opinions, anyway, so it made sense that I take over as leader.”
I couldn’t help the hint of self-deprecation that entered my voice, and Lilah furrowed her brow as she reached out and grabbed my wrist again, stroking her thumb soothingly back and forth across the back of my hand. “I don’t think you’re quite as bad as you make yourself out to be,” she said softly.
I looked at her, disbelief curling inside my chest—along with dangerous tingles of hope. “Of all the people who should be making me feel better right now, you’re about at the bottom of the list,” I pointed out, offering her a wry smile.
She giggled softly, and the sound lit me up from the inside out. Then she smiled at me, her eyes soft, and I felt something inside of me—something that had been bruised and broken ever since I had foolishly made the decision to reject her—start to heal.
“Maybe,” she agreed. “But if I didn’t forgive, I wouldn’t be the person I am. Just like you wouldn’t be the person you are if you weren’t such a stubborn dick, to the point where everyone around you recognizes that there’s no point in trying to argue with you.” She winked and squeezed my wrist. “I hope you know that’s going to change now that I’m here, though.”
Her voice grew uncharacteristically serious as she said those words, and my stomach flipped. I swallowed, and then nodded. “I do know that,” I said softly. “I’m looking forward to it. I need someone to challenge me.”
Lilah’s eyes glittered with mischief, and she tossed back her head and laughed. “This is a very different side of you, Oliver,” she said, smiling.
I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face in response to her warmth. “I should hope so,” I agreed, grinning. Then I looked down at her plate, which was only about half empty, and nodded at it. “Now, I think that’s enough twenty questions. Finish up, and then we’re heading out.”
She cocked her head to the side. “We’re going out?”
I nodded, and my nerves returned tenfold. “Yes, we are. You and me, all day. Just the two of us.”
I held my breath as I waited for her to respond, but Lilah didn’t disappoint me. She just nodded, picking up her fork and digging into her food again. “Where are we going?”
Relief flooded me, and I sat back in my chair as I linked my hands together and watched her eat. “It’s a surprise.”
She eyed me but said nothing further, and anticipation buzzed inside me as I watched her finish eating.
Today was going to be good—I could just feel it.