Chapter Nine – Gideon
I went into the bathroom during the night of the choosing ceremony to convince myself that I could find what I was looking for.
It was a pointless endeavor, I knew; what I was looking for wasn’t the norm.
I’d probably have better luck going through a companion service, but those weren’t typically used by alphas.
Omegas used them, and the hired help was typically a beta.
My situation was all topsy-turvy. It didn’t fit the mold.
But someone came into the restroom. I thought nothing of it, until I noticed it was a girl—an omega, and she froze like a deer in headlights when she saw me.
Pretty.
No. More than pretty. Beautiful, with her blond hair semi-curled, half of it pinned to the side of her head. Big, gray eyes that almost looked unnatural. Short in stature, but full in all the areas that mattered. Wearing a dazzling pink dress, she was a complete stunner.
I swallowed hard, my nerves suddenly shot. “I didn’t walk into the girl’s restroom, did I?”
Her reply came swiftly, as if it was waiting on the tip of her tongue: “Unless they suddenly include urinals, you’re not in the wrong one. I am.” She made a point to glance at the urinals.
“Oh. Then I suppose that raises new questions.”
“I have to pee, and there was a line.”
“Simple enough.” I coughed then, feeling some kind of way. This omega… as gorgeous as she was, I couldn’t truly smell her. Granted, we weren’t side by side, but still, there was something off about her scent.
And yet, beneath whatever was off was something deliciously sweet, something that threatened to lure me in if I wasn’t careful.
“I should, uh, let you handle your business, then. Good luck?” I started to leave, but then it hit me, how stupid I sounded just then. “I don’t know why I said that.”
The smile she gave me right then made me sigh, though I didn’t understand why. “Don’t worry. We can pretend it never happened.”
“Oh, good. My glowing social life would never be the same if word got out.” It should’ve been clear by now that any type of social interaction wasn’t my forte; I spent so much of my life locked away in that house, working, designing, that I wasn’t used to any of this.
I headed toward the door once more, stopping only when I stood in front of the beautiful omega. “Excuse me.”
“Sorry.” She moved out of my way, allowing me to resume my speedy exit, but before I made it out, I heard her say, “Wait, please.”
I glanced back at her, something in my chest tightening as I did so.
“Yes?” Regardless of how stupid it was, I wanted to please this omega.
Strange—all of the ones in the ballroom couldn’t make my head turn, let alone stop me in my tracks, but this random girl in the restroom could do all that and more.
Who was she? The night was only beginning, and I’d been about to leave. Maybe I need to see her at her table.
She gazed at me expectantly as she asked, “Do you think you could, um, stand watch while I go? Don’t let anybody else in? You know, so my reputation for only using the correct restroom stays intact.”
“It would be a shame. I doubt your social life would ever recover from that embarrassment… and I bet, unlike me, you actually have one.” I mentally chided myself for that comment; alphas should never mock themselves in front of an omega.
“I’ll stand guard for you outside.” Before I let myself say anything else, I left the restroom.
I went to stand just beside the restroom door, and I leaned on the wall and stared at the ceiling. This night was probably pointless. An omega would never accept my offer, especially after the truth of the offer came out. I should just go home. It was late; I should make sure Colter was all right.
After a while, the omega came out of the restroom, and I gave her a smile in spite of it all. “I trust you’re better now?”
“I am, thank you. It’s funny. I didn’t really have to go when I left the ballroom—I just needed to stretch my legs. When I saw how busy the restroom was, that’s when it really hit.”
“That’s how things always seem to go.” I couldn’t help but notice the diamond-encrusted omega pin in her hair. That design immediately took me back, back to a worse time, to a time I barely survived, a time when my whole life changed. “That’s… quite the dazzler, there.”
“Gaudy, isn’t it? My parents got it for me when I was ten—ten, three whole years before I presented as an omega. It’s like they wanted me to be…” She looked at herself, at her dress, and gestured to it all. “…this.”
“Being,” I paused to mimic her gesture, “this can’t be all bad.”
“No. Not all the time, just most of the time. This—” She pointed to the pin in her hair. “—is what the world wants all omegas to be, but sometimes—most of the time, all we want to do is exist. Be ourselves. Be who we want to be.”
The omega met my stare after that and forced out a chuckle, as if trying to downplay her passion. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to get deep on you. I’m Raeka Whittenhall, by the way.”
“Whittenhall.” As I said it, it dawned on me, who she was. “Yes, I know of your family. I’m Gideon… just Gideon.” If I told her my last name, she’d know who I was, too, and I didn’t know if I wanted her to just yet.
The last name made everyone treat me differently.
“Well, just Gideon, it was nice to meet you. I should get back to the ballroom before my bodyguard goes crazy.”
“Bodyguard?”
“Yeah. Let’s just say I’ll consider this night a win if I leave without getting any offers.”
“Without?” The more she said, the more curious I became of her.
“Yep. You heard me right. I might be what some of those packs want… but I’m not what they need, and they sure as fuck aren’t what I need or want.” She stopped herself from going on, “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. If you don’t mind me asking, what is it you want, then? What do you need, Raeka Whittenhall?”
She blinked up at me, as if my questions caught her off-guard. “All I want, all I need… is to be me. To make my own choices. That’s it. Being tied down to the stereotypical pack life isn’t for me—but I try telling anyone that and they think I’m insane.”
“You’re not.” I wanted to make her feel better, to give her something none of the other alphas out there did tonight. “Well, for what it’s worth, I hope someday you find whatever it is you want.”
“Thank you,” she said, and then she turned to leave.
I watched her go, and then I replayed our interaction a few times.
Eventually, I returned to the ballroom—but I didn’t stay.
Long enough to peek my head in and find Raeka at her table.
A tall, muscled, intimidating alpha stood near her, watching everybody.
Unless I was mistaken, that bodyguard was an Alabaster.
He looks like his father, who I’ve had some dealings with years ago.
If I was a different alpha, I would’ve gone to her table and met with her.
She didn’t want an offer tonight. She may get a few from other alphas, but she would not get one from me. Knowing what she wanted, how could I go against her wishes, regardless of how curious I was about her?
Raeka Whittenhall.
So I went home after that. My home was outside the city. I didn’t live in a development; my neighbors were far away. I made sure to buy enough land to give myself privacy all around.
It was late by the time I pulled into the garage, and when I went into the house, I heard not a single sound. The silence used to get me, but it doesn’t anymore. It was what I was used to.
I set my keys down and worked to loosen my tie as I headed to check on Colter.
Colter was not in his bed; I found him in his studio, sitting on a wooden stool in front of an empty canvas.
He was in the process of sketching out a design on that canvas, but he abruptly stopped and shook his head, then buried his face in his pencil-free hand.
“It’s late,” I said, causing Colter to set his pencil down and spin around on the stool to face me.
And that face… every time, it was like getting hit in the stomach.
He looked so much like my sister, especially when he was trying to focus on any sort of creative endeavor.
He was only twenty-one, but he was already gaining that wrinkle in between his eyebrows because he furrowed them together so often.
My nephew wore a baggy hoodie and sweatpants, clothes I’d seen him in practically every day, the sleeves tugged down past his wrists. His amber eyes, the very same hue as my sister’s, stared at me.
“You should try to get some sleep,” I said.
I’m not tired , he signed.
“It doesn’t matter. Your body needs sleep.”
Colter rolled his eyes, then ran a hand through his brown hair, a few shades lighter than mine.
He was smaller than me all around; only five-foot-eight-inches tall, with less muscle on his frame—though I wasn’t too stereotypical when it came to musculature, either.
I ran thinner than most alphas. It’s just my line of work.
But Colter was a beta, so he was built differently all around.
He did not get up off his stool. Instead, he signed, How was the Omega Garden?
All I did was shrug, the most noncommittal gesture I could make.
You didn’t put in any offers, did you? The look Colter gave me after that told me he already knew.
I’d been on him to take more of an active role in life in general, and he’d get on my case right back and tell me I needed to find myself an omega and have a family of my own.
He was twenty-one, and as a beta, he could technically live on his own.
Take care of himself. He didn’t need me to raise him anymore.
That was something he just wouldn’t understand. No matter how old he got, I’d always be there to take care of him. He was family. That’s what family did.
I shook my head once. “No. It wasn’t my kind of environment. Looks like it’s still just you and me, kid.”
I’m not a kid anymore , he signed with a slight frown on his face.
Didn’t I know it.