Chapter Seventeen – Raeka
I sit underneath the big oak tree in the center of the courtyard of N.O.A.
with Mercedes, eating the lunch that we picked up on our way over.
Who’s we, you might ask? Me and Pax, of course.
The alpha bodyguard drove while I chatted away and ignored his moody personality.
It’s a good thing his foul mood doesn’t get me down; if I was somebody else, it might bother me.
Mercedes munches on some fries. “How is it going so far?” The other omegas are in class right now; we wanted to hang while the courtyard was quiet. When everyone’s on lunch, having their free hour in the middle of the day, things can get hectic around here.
Plus, N.O.A. has finally started taking in stray omegas again. Integrating them into the school isn’t the easiest thing.
“Fine,” I say with a shrug. I couldn’t tell her the full truth—that stupid NDA forbade me from telling anyone, even my friends and family—so as far as she’s aware, I really am being courted by Gideon Chase.
“Darius says Gideon’s nice. A bit weird, but nice. I’m not part of that circle, so I never heard of him before you, but from what I’ve heard since, he’s had a rough life. His sister died, he was forced to play dad to his nephew…”
“I know,” I say as I think about the alpha in question.
He likes to pretend he’s fine, but I think, even after all this time, he’s still messed up about it.
I don’t know it firsthand, my life has been pretty privileged where death is concerned, but I’ve heard grief can be eternal.
It can last forever if you let it, and Gideon and Colter never were forced to overcome it. They just… wallowed.
But I can’t judge them for it. It’s not my place.
“How is the nephew? What’s his name?” she asks me.
“Colter. He’s…” Damaged, but instead I say, “An artist.”
“Darius says no one has seen him in years.”
I stuff a perfectly crispy chicken nugget in my mouth and chew it. “Yeah. He doesn’t leave the house. He… he hasn’t spoken a word since his parents died, I guess.”
“He was just a kid when it happened. Seeing what he saw, can’t blame him for it.”
Her comment makes me nearly choke. “What? Seeing what he saw?”
The way Mercedes looks at me with her warm brown eyes right then makes me think I’m missing a piece to the Chase puzzle, and what she says after that proves it as a fact.
“He was in the car with them. It was some bad accident, some drunk driver ran them off the road, into a whole bunch of trees. His dad was driving. He died instantly, but his mom… it sounds like he had to watch her die before EMS could get there.”
Oh, my God. Is that story true? Is that how it really happened? I don’t think Mercedes would lie to me about something like that. Shit. No wonder Colter’s so damaged. Being a kid and seeing that… something like that doesn’t leave you.
She must decide to change the topic of the conversation, gesturing over to the other side of the courtyard, where Pax stands talking to one of her mates, Nic.
As brothers, they both have that intense look about them, although Nic’s expression reads more easy-going than Pax’s.
Plus, Pax’s features are lighter: blond hair and green eyes, while Nic’s hair and eyes are darker.
“How’s it going with Pax?”
I shrug. “He’s fine.”
She lifts a single brow, clearly not believing me. “Fine? I haven’t talked to him much, but from the few times I did, fine isn’t exactly a word I’d use to describe him, ever. He’s where Darius learned his attitude.”
“Yeah, he’s fine.” I glance at Pax and Nic—mostly at Pax, and the alphas must sense both Mercedes and I are looking in their direction, because their heads turn and they meet our stares with their own. I’m the first to look away, which Mercedes notices.
“What’s that about?”
My inner elbow itches where I recently gave myself a booster.
I don’t smell Gideon and Pax too much anymore, so there’s that.
Still, I can’t help but feel like something is wrong.
It’s like my body is trying to yell at me for daring to put up a fight against its hormonal wishes. “What’s what about?”
“You’re acting a little weird.”
I try to laugh, but that laugh falls flat and it dies in the back of my throat. “I’m not acting weird.” Way to indeed act weird while someone has already caught wind of you acting weird. Ugh. I can’t win, it seems. The world has it out against me.
“You are totally acting weird.” She eyes me up. “What aren’t you telling me?”
For someone who I just met a few months ago, she’s sure acting like she knows everything about me.
Granted, I’ve never really had a friend before—not a real friend who actually gives a shit about me.
I’ve had friends whose parents were friends with my parents, but they were forced friendships that quickly died out once we graduated high school.
Things with Mercedes are different. Real.
More natural. Events in our lives threw us together, and we clicked.
So, yeah, maybe she can see right through me. It’s not something I’m used to.
She elbows me in the side. “What is it? Is it Pax? Did he do something?”
“No,” I quickly say, lowering my voice. Pax doesn’t have super hearing as far as I’m aware, but you never know. The alpha looks like a blond Superman, for goodness sake. “It’s just…”
“Just what?”
For a moment, for just the quickest of moments, I think about telling her about the injections I take, but I decide against it.
I trust her, but at the same time, I don’t want her judging me or trying to convince me that those injections are a bad idea.
So, instead, I say, “I’m just not used to being in a house with two alphas that aren’t related to me, I guess. You know how it is.”
“You’re not bonded to Gideon yet.” Her gaze falls to my neck. “Your body is probably trying to tell you something.”
I reach up to my neck and rub it over the scent gland tucked away beneath my skin. I’m a little greasy—that scent-blocking cream never fully sinks in. “Yeah, well, Gideon’s supposed to be mine, not anyone else.”
“For a girl who never wanted an alpha for herself, I find it so strange to hear you say that.”
I roll my eyes at her, and I have to look away, trying to hide the truth from her. Of course, when I look away, I happen to glance over at Pax, and I find the alpha with his arms crossed, staring at me. Even from fifty or so feet away, it’s an intense look that makes me want to squirm.
Mercedes asks quietly, “Is it so wrong to have an alpha or two? I never thought I’d say it, but I am happier with my pack. If you would’ve asked me four months ago if I’d be where I am today, as happy as I am today, I would’ve thought you were out of your mind.”
She’s not lying. I can hear the truth in her tone. I’m glad she’s happy where she is, that she found her forever pack with her forever mates. After everything she’s been through, she deserves it. She deserves all that and more.
But me? I don’t know about any of that.
We talk for a bit more as we finish our lunch, but I’m not going to lie, my mine is elsewhere. On Pax, on Gideon, on Colter. One I shouldn’t think about at all, the next I’m only contracted to pretend to be in a relationship with, and the latter should be my only real priority.
Ugh. Things are complicated, aren’t they? Why can’t my life be simple?
Soon enough, it’s time to go home, and during the car ride there, I stare out of the window, leaning as far away from Pax as I can. I might not smell his alpha musk right now, but the rest of my body didn’t get the memo: being near him makes my temperature go up to what must be a dangerous level.
After a minute or two of silence, Pax speaks, his voice so low it’s like a growl, “You’re quiet.” And I hate how attractive that growly sound is to me.
I don’t look at him. I can’t. I won’t. All I do is shrug, which he doesn’t really see because he’s driving.
“Did something happen between you and Mercedes?”
“No.”
“Then what is it?” The question, once again, is growled out, and goosebumps rise on my arms in an immediate response. “You’re being too quiet. Something has to be wrong.” We slow to a stop at a red light, which gives him the opportunity to really look at me—which I pretend to ignore. “Raeka.”
I suck in a hard breath, keeping my eyes glued to the window next to me.
The way he says my name… I can see how a weaker omega might melt instantly.
As it is, even without smelling him, the nerves in my body are going haywire, crisscrossing on their own accord.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I don’t like it.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” Still at the red light.
Pedestrians are walking on the cross-walks.
When I don’t say a word, Pax’s tone deepens, and he takes on a commanding authority I could never hope to match: “ Tell me what’s wrong.
” As the words fall unto my ears, I shiver as I realize fighting them, resisting them, is impossible.
The bastard just used his alpha dominance on me. What. The. Fuck.
I grind my teeth, but it’s pointless to resist. I’m an unbonded omega, and he’s an über alpha. It’s just the way of things, as much as I hate to admit it. So, through gritted teeth, I mutter, “What’s wrong with me is…” Fuck this guy and the stupid horse he rode in on. “You.”
The light finally turns green, but Pax doesn’t drive. He’s too busy staring at me like I gave him the wrong answer. “Me?” Behind us, car horns fill the air, which finally forces him to press the gas pedal and get us moving again.
“Yeah, you, you asshole.” Now I’m glaring at him, my nostrils flaring. “Don’t ever use your dominance on me again. Got it?”
“Fine,” he says, hands tight on the wheel, so tight his knuckles turn white. “Is there something specific about me that’s bothering you? Something you want me to fix?” The last question is grunted through bared teeth.
We’re on the outer edge of traffic, so I tell him, “Stop the car.”
“What?”
“Stop the freaking car!”