Chapter Twenty-Five – Pax
Staying away from Raeka is like cutting off my own nose to spite my face; stupid, pointless, and in the end, a dumb decision all around.
The four of us eat dinner with each other every night, and I’m forced to sit across from her and watch her, listen to her, all while knowing she has no idea she effortlessly holds the gazes of both alphas at the table… and the beta beside her.
For a girl who doesn’t like alphas, for an omega who doesn’t want a pack, she sure does pull everyone in around her.
“My sister is dying to come over,” Raeka is busy saying, while wholly unaware that every male at the table is completely enraptured by everything she says and does, including me, as much as I hate to admit it.
“So is my mom. I’m trying to push them off as long as possible since none of this is typical, but I honestly don’t know how much longer my excuses are going to hold.
Sooner or later, my family is going to want to come over and they won’t take no for an answer. ”
“I’m sure we can handle that when the time comes,” Gideon says, managing to sound much calmer than I would if I spoke.
No, most of these dinners, I try to keep my mouth clamped shut, because I know if I do speak, there are only a few things I’d say, and all of them involve the oblivious omega sitting across from me. I’ve been professional since that day downtown, but at a great expense to my sanity.
This girl… this reluctant omega, is driving me insane. If I speak, it’ll be obvious just how hungry and desperate I am for her.
I’ve never felt like this before. It’s new to me.
I don’t like it—but at the same time, I can’t get enough.
The day I got through the lotion she covers her neck with, the moment I inhaled her true scent, I was lost. I lost the path and I’ve been wandering, trying to find it ever since, but I keep getting pulled deeper and deeper every time she glances my way.
That omega is mine. She might not know it yet—or maybe she does and she doesn’t want to face the music—but she’s fucking mine. My Raeka. My omega.
How hard the mighty fall, huh? It’s pathetic, really, but I just don’t care.
“You say that now, but you only briefly met my mom,” Raeka says.
“She is… a lot. As someone who lived with her for twenty-one long years, she’s a hell of a lot.
Too much, some might say. I love her, but God, she really knows how to grind my gears.
And Nicole, she’s sweet enough, but as the perfect omega she strives to be, she’ll know something off. ”
“We’ll handle it,” Gideon reassures her again.
“Mmm. Not so sure about that, but whatever you say.” Raeka’s gray eyes meet my stare across the table, and I can’t hide how tightly I grip the fork in my hand. “How are you over there, big guy? You’re holding onto that fork like you want to use it to kill someone. Anyone particular in mind?”
I don’t say a word, but Gideon must sense how I’m feeling, because he’s the one who answers her: “I don’t think killing is accurate.
I believe something else is on his mind.
” He coughs after he says that, then returns to the food on his plate.
“Not to change the subject, but I did find you a dress today. I left it in your room. You should check it and make sure it fits.”
Right. Because Raeka and Gideon have to go out and pretend to be a match. Let’s be honest, though: there won’t be much pretending. How could there be, when Gideon, like me, is dying to have her?
“Great,” she says, grinning ear to ear. “I do love me a new dress every now and then, although I am concerned that your style doesn’t match mine.
” I don’t know if that’s a dig at Gideon’s age or something else—it’s true he’s older than her.
Hell, he’s older than me. If you look at it from a numbers perspective, we’re both too old for her.
Neither of us should want her. We should already have our own packs to keep us busy and fulfilled.
But we don’t. Gideon had his nephew to take care of and a business to run while I never felt the need to have a pack or an omega.
Dinner passes without much incident after that. I offer to help Gideon clean up after Raeka and Colter wander off, but he outright refuses my help, “No. Maybe you should go talk to her.”
I frown. “About what?”
The other alpha stares at me quizzically, though I don’t know why.
Neither of us are accustomed to chasing after an omega, but it seems like Gideon is the more adaptable one out of the two of us.
“We can’t go on like this forever. Sooner or later, something has to give.
” Quieter, he says, “Someone has to break, and it would be better for us all if it happens sooner.”
I should be instantly irritated by another alpha trying to tell me what to do.
I’m no typical alpha. My dominance is stronger, more intense; I can push it onto most other alphas, if necessary.
über alphas like myself usually end up as pack leaders, but I don’t have a pack—and that’s what makes it even stranger to me that I don’t get annoyed by Gideon suggesting I speak with Raeka.
I think about what he said for a few moments, and then I mutter a low, “Fine.”
Upstairs, I find Raeka in her bedroom. She stands in front of a full-length mirror in the corner of her room, holding onto a floor-length, soft pink dress.
She holds the dress against her body, checking herself out in the mirror.
She’s so engrossed in it she doesn’t notice me standing there in the doorway.
How? How can she drive me so mad, even with her scent covered up, and yet she hardly acts as if my scent bothers her at all?
From what I understand, if a scent is that enticing to an alpha, it should be the same vice versa.
It means compatibility, and when I think back to how her body reacted to mine that day in the city…
It’s like my body grew a mind of its own, like I knew what to do without being asked. Instincts like that aren’t an everyday occurrence for me. In fact, never, ever have I purred for an omega before. Never.
“It might be easier to see how it looks if the dress is actually on,” I mutter, tapping my fingers against my sides in an effort to distract myself.
Fucking hell. I’ve never been like this.
“You’re right.” Raeka turns around and goes to set the dress down on her bed. She flashes me an innocent smile… and then she takes off her shirt. Just like that. Like she’s alone and stripping, and I’m not there watching.
“Raeka,” I growl out, unable to keep my gaze from dipping low to her chest. Though she wears a simple black bra, those round, perky tits are calling my name. Just like that, my dick threatens to awaken. “You’re playing a dangerous game here.”
“I’m not playing any game,” she says, her nose upturned as her fingers work at the button on her jeans.
“You’re the one standing there like a creep.
You really are going for Creep of the Year, huh?
Why are you even here? I thought you were ignoring me and pretending I don’t exist?
” She tugs down her jeans, and just like that she stands there, halfway across the room, in nothing but her bra and panties.
Fuck, she’s gorgeous. Fucking hot as hell. Sexy and alluring, temptation with my name on it.
“I thought that’s what you wanted,” I growl out the words, unable to sound, you know, fucking normal and not like a man who’s out of his goddamned mind. “You don’t want alphas—or has that changed after your run-in with Gideon in his room?”
She swallows. “You know about that?”
“I do.” I step into her room even though it’s probably a mistake. “He was pretty torn up over it. He chased after you. Did you know that? Did you know he followed you to your bedroom and barely stopped himself from going inside?”
She fiddles with her hands in front of her stomach, an anxious gesture that’s not like her.
What is it about alphas she doesn’t like?
Why is she so against the natural order of things?
If it’s about losing control, or the fear of, I get it.
Standing there, feeling like I’m going out of my mind with a need that’s still new and yet undeniable at the same time, I get it.
The thought of losing total control isn’t one I like.
“No,” she says softly. “I didn’t know that.”
“You’re driving all of us mad,” I whisper, even though there’s still a good ten feet between us. “Do you know that?”
“Yeah.”
“And what about you?” My nostrils flare as I get a whiff of her natural scent—my guess is since she’s mostly naked, less skin covered, there’s more of her to fill the air.
Raeka lifts a hand and grips her inner elbow, as if she’s hiding something, only I don’t know what. “What about me, Pax? This isn’t—” She changes course. “None of this was supposed to happen. Not you, not Gideon. Even Colter. I wasn’t forced into doing any of it, but…”
I take another step closer to her, already breathing hard. “But what?” When she doesn’t reply, I finish closing the distance between us, and just like that I’m towering over her, my neck bent so I can stare down at her.
Such a small thing compared to me, and yet she’s full of fire. God help me, I want to get burned. I want every single part of me to feel the flames, and I know once I do I’ll do whatever I have to in order to do it all over again.
She speaks slowly, overenunciating each word, as if she’s talking to a child, “I’m not supposed to want any of you, let alone all of you.”
“Then what do you want, omega?” I know she hates being called that, but I’d be lying if I say I don’t enjoy riling her up. A feisty Raeka is exactly what I want, what I need.
“You come in here, all growly and moody, acting like you already know,” she shoots back, staring up at me through thick eyelashes. “So why don’t you tell me what you think I want, Mr. Alpha?”