Chapter Twenty-Nine – Pax
I was on the phone with my brother, Darius, when I had the idea to wash Raeka’s sheets.
Since we haven’t officially discussed anything yet, I assumed she was trying to ignore what happened, and smelling the three of us in those sheets probably wasn’t helping anything.
I’d just told my brother everything—well, mostly everything.
Not the nitty-gritty details, obviously.
Darius wasn’t a talker. He was like me. And yet, even so, I could tell that I stunned him with what I told him.
It took him way too long to say, “I never thought I’d see the day, honestly.
You threw yourself into work so hard, all the time, that I thought…
you were pretty much married to Alabaster Security. ”
“I was,” I tell him. “I still am. I just…” I stand in front of Raeka’s bed with a hand on my hip, staring holes into the unmade sheets. She never made her bed, ever, and even though she and Gideon aren’t here, the scent of the three of us together fills my nostrils and starts to harden my dick.
“You don’t have to explain yourself. Mom and Dad’ll be ecstatic you found yourself a pack. If anyone was going to stumble into a pack accidentally, it’d be you.”
“The fuck that’s supposed to mean?”
I can imagine my brother shrugging before he says, “You were always so against it. So was I when Nick and Warren brought Mercedes home. Coming from my experience, resisting is pointless, a waste of everybody’s time.”
Moving to sit at the edge of Raeka’s bed, I ask him quietly, “How did you know Mercedes was your… your scent match?” A part of me doesn’t want to bring it up, but when she doesn’t slather herself in that shitty lotion, I could drown myself in her.
Gideon’s told me the same, but maybe the strength of the pull from her is simply because she’s an unmatched omega who’s already had her first heat.
“It’s something you just know. You don’t have to think about it. She makes Nick and Warren go crazy, but with me… it’s more than that. I lose my damn mind when I’m with her.” My brother pauses. “Why? Do you think Raeka is yours?”
Mine and Gideon’s, given the fact that neither of us could hold back from her—and we’d both tried. I was a man who prided myself on my restraint up until recently, and Gideon doesn’t strike me as the kind of alpha who ever snaps.
“Her scent is like fucking catnip to me,” I whisper, “but when she smells me, it’s like… I don’t know, like she doesn’t smell anything. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking.”
He chuckles. “You’ve never been one for wishful thinking.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Listen, Pax, Rourke has it handled with your team, so take as much time as you need to figure it out. No matter what happens, no matter what you end up deciding, everything will be fine on our end. I don’t think you’ve ever taken a day off. Worry about your personal life, for once.”
“Thanks, man.” I end the call and get back to my feet. Though my mind is turning and all I really want to do is roll around like a dog in the sheets that smell like us, I do what I came to the room to do: I yank the comforter off and go to pull off the fitted sheet next.
When I lift the one side of her bed, I spot some balled-up panties that are potent with her scent, and if my cock was tingling before, it turns rock-hard when that scent hits me.
I bring the panties to my nose and inhale deeply, wanting nothing more than to have my omega here and bury myself between her legs.
Fuck. I really am losing my mind.
I toss the panties down on the comforter, figuring I’d wash them for her, too, but when I go to lift the other corner, I find something else. Something that stops me dead: a small black pouch, zipped shut. It’s no larger than my hand, so I have no idea what it’d be or why she’d be hiding it here.
What the fuck?
I go for the pouch and unzip it, and what I see makes me frown. Needles. Needles with some kind of liquid. Small shots, though whatever is actually in those shots is anyone’s guess since they aren’t labeled with anything… and that doesn’t scream fully legal to me.
Shit. What is Raeka into? My mind whirls with the possibilities.
Drugs? But she’s never seemed high before, so that can’t be it.
A heat-suppressant? They aren’t mainstream, but medications like that are out there for those omegas who have the money and who would rather live a life without losing their mind every six months.
But, no, that can’t be right either. She was proud she made it through her first heat on her own, so I don’t think these injections are meant for suppressing an omega’s heat.
So what the fuck are they for? Medication for some medical condition she hasn’t shared with us yet?
The only thing I want to do is drive to wherever they are and demand answers from her, but that would humiliate Gideon as well, and I don’t want to do that. I’ll let them have their night, and the moment they get back, I’ll be waiting.
I do what I intended to do: I put her bed sheets in the washer and do a load, and then transfer them to the dryer as I wait. I leave the pouch in the kitchen while I do it, on the island, in plain view of anybody who enters the room.
Once her comforter is in the dryer, I come into the kitchen to find Colter near the pouch. He sips from a sports drink and stares down at it quizzically.
“Found it under Raeka’s mattress,” I mumble, going to get myself some water. “She was hiding it. And before you ask, I have no fucking idea what it is or what it does… but she has some explaining to do when she gets home.”
His brows furrow, and he holds up a finger. He sets down his drink and disappears. It’s a few minutes until he’s back, his tablet in hand, and he types out: Whatever it is, I’m sure she has a reason for it.
“She better,” I grumble, leaning on the counter and tensing my fingers into knuckles. The thought of her hiding something monumental from me makes me furious. I’d never hurt her, never lay a finger on her, but boy, I can get pissed.
You might be overreacting, Colter warns me.
“And what if I’m reacting just fine?”
Just let her explain when they get home. Don’t yell at her.
I bite back anything angry I might’ve said in response to him. I absolutely should not let a beta tell me what to do; he has absolutely no authority over me—but he’s right. Too pragmatic for his own good.
You’re worried about her , Colter types out. I am, too, but you can’t jump down her throat.
I grind my jaw. “You’re right.” I don’t like admitting that, but it’s the only thing left to say at this point.
After I chug some water, I take the pouch and go sit on the bottom of the stairs, waiting for Raeka and Gideon to come home. Colter comes with me, though he doesn’t sit beside me. He’s tucked his tablet into his hoodie’s pocket, the square poking out against the fabric.
Every minute that passes by feels more like an hour.
It’s fucking torture sitting there, my mind racing, not knowing what the truth is.
I’m upset at Raeka for hiding whatever it is, but I’m also worried about her.
What if she’s secretly addicted to whatever this is?
What if she has a medical condition and doesn’t have much time left? Fuckity fuck fuck.
An eternity passes, and finally Raeka and Gideon stroll in.
By that point, I’m too anxious to let her beauty flabbergast me.
She stops the moment she sees me down the hall—or, more correctly, the moment she sees what’s in my hands: her secret pouch and the injections within.
Her beautiful eyes widen, and she looks like a deer in headlights, an expression very much unlike her typical self.
Gideon steps around her, coming closer to me as he inspects what’s in my hands. “What is this?” he asks me, but I don’t look at him. I’m too busy staring at Raeka, who’s still motionless a good fifteen feet away. He realizes I’m staring hard at her, and his blue-eyed gaze follows.
“Well?” I huff with a frown. “Care to explain what the fuck this is, Raeka?”
“I—” She breathes hard, fiddling with her gloved hands. “I need to use the bathroom?” The question comes out in a squeak, and she tries to hurry past me, but I’m faster.
I stand and block her path, clutching the unzipped pouch tightly. “No,” I say. “Living room, now.” I don’t use my dominance on her, but I don’t have to. My tone tells her enough: I mean it. She’s not going to run from this. She’s going to sit down and tell us the truth.
She looks like she wants to bolt, but in the end, all she does is hang her head low and march to the living room, where she sits in the center of the couch.
I set the pouch on the coffee table, right in front of her. Gideon and Colter are behind me, though I can tell the latter wants to go sit beside her and comfort her. Now’s not the time for that. Now’s the time for the truth.
“I found it hidden beneath your mattress,” I told her. “I thought I’d wash your sheets for you. Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon this… whatever the fuck it is. What. Is. It?”
“Are you sick?” Gideon asks, sounding much less severe than me. “Are you addicted to some kind of drug? Whatever it is, Raeka, tell us. We can help—”
She laughs, but it’s a bitter sound. “Help? No. Nobody can really help me, unless you can change the omega condition.” Her nostrils flare, and just like that she’s no longer a deer in headlights; she’s her fiery self.
She stands and yanks off her gloves, one after the other. “They’re scent dampeners. Inhibitors. Whatever. I’ve been giving them to myself ever since I turned twenty-one, right here.” She points to her right inner elbow. “Leaves a bruise sometimes, but that’s nothing a bit of makeup can’t handle.”
“What—why would you take scent dampeners?” Gideon asks while I do nothing but stare at her and wait for more of an explanation… although, I guess, deep down, I already know.
“Because I didn’t want to be lured in by any tasty alpha smells!” she shoots back, fire in her eyes. “Because I didn’t want to become a sniveling omega who turns into a puddle of slick anytime an attractive alpha comes around! Because I hate being an omega.”
The last words are thrown out with such vehemence that even Gideon winces.
Colter looks saddened, while I feel… I feel what?
Ashamed that I got so angry about them when I really should’ve known, or at least suspected, that they were her way of feeling in control?
Disappointed in her for feeling like she had to resort to such measures to exist in this world, or maybe disappointed in the world itself for pushing her to this point?
Fuck. I’m an asshole.
Holding her head high, she hisses out, “Can I go now, Mr. Alpha, or is there more?” This time, the nickname isn’t said in good fun; this time it’s hurled at me like a knife, and my inner alpha can do nothing but lower its head and let her flee the room.
Raeka hurries out of the room, and I hear her stomp up the stairs shortly after. Colter goes after her almost immediately, and Gideon stands beside me, his expression knotted with concern. He wants to go after her, too. So do I.
Comforting omegas is in an alpha’s nature. Comforting your omega is like your only damn job, the only one that really matters.
“We’ll let them talk for a bit,” I say. “Let her calm down some, but we need to show her we can move past this. She needs to know she doesn’t need to take this shit.”
“I agree,” he says. “I’ve never heard of this stuff.
I’ll call the family doctor in the morning, see if there are any side effects we should watch for.
I don’t know how often she takes it, but it sounds like she’s been taking it for a while.
If it messes with her sense of smell, I can only imagine it messes with other things. ”
Well, it’s good to know Gideon and I are on the same page, at least. As for Raeka… fuck. What are we going to do with her?