Chapter Seventeen – Jess
What was I thinking?
That thought reverberates in my mind the rest of the night and well into the next morning. I thought sitting outside while I did laundry would help me clear my head, but that was shot to heck when Mason showed his face.
And then things turned serious. Things got deep. Things… nearly escalated.
I don’t know what I was thinking, nor do I know what Mason was thinking. The whole thing caught us both unaware.
The thing is, even now when I think back to last night, it wasn’t uncomfortable. It felt natural, like we were about to progress our relationship the way it always should progress. Like it was only a matter of time until we found ourselves alone again and we gave in to our deepest, darkest desires.
I knew I had a thing for the alphas in this house after that dream. A naive part of me wished it was just my upcoming heat and the hormone changes that would soon take place, but I’d have to be some kind of fool to believe it’s only that.
As much as I want to stay locked up in my room the next day, eventually I need food, so I venture to the kitchen to scrounge something up. Unfortunately, I run into Rourke in the hall, and the sight stops me dead in my tracks.
He wears dark jeans he commandeered from one of Asher and Mason’s parents, along with a dark blue polo that hugs his frame a bit too tightly—but no one with eyes would ever dare complain. Those muscles of his need to be showed off, not to mention the tattoos on his arms.
Seriously, both arms are covered in tattoos.
“There you are,” he says, an easy grin on his face as his blue gaze twinkles.
He’s in my way, so I can’t get around him without entertaining this conversation first. “Get a good night’s sleep?
” The question is spoken genuinely, so I don’t think he’s aware of what nearly happened between me and Mason last night.
Good thing, too. He might go apeshit and drag me out of this house. Can’t have that.
“Yeah,” I say, lying.
And the son of a gun picks up on it and calls me out, the jerk. “You’re lying.”
Even though I totally am, I still huff and puff and act generally insulted when I say, “No, I’m not.” And then when he gives me a look—you know the one, with one eyebrow raised and a head half-cocked—I add, “Shut up. What do you care?”
“Sleep is something you should be prioritizing right now. The two weeks before your heat are imperative, they can make or break how easy it is for you to get through it on your own. If you take care of yourself, it should be easier. If, however, you neglect your sleep and your nourishment, research says it’ll be much, much more difficult. ”
I fold my arms over my chest. “Who are you, the heat expert?”
His reply comes swiftly: “I’m only trying to help you, Jess. You should know that. If I wasn’t interested in helping you, we’d be long gone by now, in case you already forgot.”
How could I forget that? I should show a bit more gratitude to this alpha, because in reality, he owed me nothing. It was sheer dumb luck he was the one who was sent after me. Now is not the time to look the gift horse in the mouth.
Rourke’s blue gaze drops to my feet, slowly rising to take in my outfit. Nothing fancy, just some leggings and a baggy shirt. “Asher’s been flitting about all morning. He wants to take you to some lake today. I told him if you’re okay with it, that’s fine, but I’ll be tagging along, too.”
Quieter, and with a smirk, he adds, “No romantic dates on my watch, at least not without a third wheel reminding you both that you should be at least five feet away from each other at all times.” Though he says it good-naturedly, he’s also not joking.
The lake? That’s right. Asher did mention there’s a lake not too far from here. Going to said lake with Asher and Rourke seems like a way to tempt fate, but then again, simply existing with these guys is tempting in a way I never thought possible.
I should steer clear of them. Grab some food in the kitchen and lock myself in my room again. If last night taught me anything, it’s that I cannot trust myself with them.
Somehow saying no is impossible, because I find myself begrudgingly saying, “Did Asher say it was a date, or are you just reading into it too much? Maybe getting a little jealous?”
Rourke laughs. “And why would I be jealous, hmm? It’s almost like you want me to be jealous.” That smirk only deepens. “Well? Do you want me to be jealous?”
“I want…” What the heck do I want? This whole thing was born out of pettiness and revenge, spitefulness and refusal to let my aunt take another cent from my family’s wealth.
I thought that was that, that I could live the rest of my life in peace as a result of that pettiness, but the longer I’m here, the more I’m with these guys, the more I don’t know.
I… don’t know. I just don’t know.
In the end, I finish with saying, “I want to see this lake.” I hold my head high as I march past Rourke, and he lets me, though his eyes do burn a hole in the back of my head as I go.
If he’s going to play it cool, then so can I. Whatever weird connection we have deep down is just that: weird. Nothing to write home about. Nothing to obsess over. He’s an alpha, and I’m an omega nearing her heat. That’s that. Nothing else to say about it.
Asher’s in the kitchen, packing a small basket.
I see a folded blanket next to it, and I take that to mean we’re going to have a little picnic at this lake.
He spots me approaching him and grins. “There you are. I was worried you’d sleep the whole day away.
” Then he sees Rourke a few feet behind me. “I assume he told you?”
“You want to show me the lake today,” I say. “Let’s do it.”
His grin turns into a full-blown smile. “Great. Let me just grab some drinks from the fridge and we can get going.”
As he goes and does just that, I toss a glance over my shoulder at Rourke. “You going to be our escort today, Rourke?” I say it jokingly, but I also kind of mean it.
Rourke’s reply is instantaneous: “Escort, bodyguard. Either one, I suppose.” The grin he flashes me after that is one of faked innocence, like he knows that by calling himself my bodyguard he’ll get under my skin.
And, damn it, he’s right.
“I don’t need a bodyguard,” I tell him.
“Doesn’t matter. I’m here to ensure your safety until it’s time to return to the city and claim your inheritance. Anywhere you go, I go. Besides, I’m sure Asher already knew that and packed enough for the three of us to eat—didn’t you, Asher?”
The other alpha in the kitchen, currently juggling as many water bottles as he can stuff into the picnic basket, acts like he didn’t hear anything before his name. “Huh?”
“Asher, let Rourke carry the basket,” I say, my suggestion more of an order. “If he’s coming with us, he can be our pack mule, too.”
Rourke scoffs, but in the end he doesn’t argue. We set out to the lake shortly after that, and Rourke carries both the blanket and the basket, the latter of which looks packed to the brim and not exactly light. But for an alpha with his muscles, I’m sure he has it, no problem.
I walk ahead of him with Asher, a good twenty feet between us. We step off the patio in the back and make a right; I let Asher guide us there since I have no idea where we’re going.
Even though I probably shouldn’t, I find myself asking, “What about Mason? He didn’t want to come to the lake too?”
“Ah, well, maybe he would’ve,” Asher says. “Or maybe not. I didn’t think to ask him. Is that bad?”
“No.” I chuckle, but mostly I chuckle out of relief.
After what almost happened last night between me and Mason, it’s definitely a good thing he’s not tagging along with us.
I’m not sure if I should tell Asher about what nearly happened or not.
It’s not any of his business. “He’d just ruin the fun, anyway. ”
“Yeah, he can be a party pooper, that’s for sure.
” He rubs the back of his neck as we walk along.
The sun shines brightly overhead, only a few small clouds in the sky.
The temperature of the air is a nice, even sixty-five-ish degrees.
If it drops any lower, thin jackets would be necessary, but as it stands now, it’s utterly perfect.
“I think you were right, though. I think something’s wrong with him, but I don’t know what.
I tried to talk to him about it, but he shut me down. ”
Hearing him say that doesn’t surprise me, not after everything Mason told me last night, but Asher doesn’t know I had a heart-to-heart with him, nor does he know I almost kissed him. I can’t spill the beans about what’s bothering his brother without also tiptoeing near something dangerous.
Instead of telling him what Mason told me, I say, “Maybe he’ll talk when he’s ready.”
“You don’t know my brother. He doesn’t really talk or open up. I used to think it was an über thing.” He tosses a glance over his shoulder at Rourke. “But that one’s not like Mason, so I don’t know.”
That means Mason opening up to me last night was a strange encounter indeed.
If the alpha doesn’t normally open up to anyone, including family, why would he say all that to me?
I know I kind of spilled my guts to him before, but…
well, all that has been weighing on me since forever.
I didn’t tell him that just to get him to open up to me.
“Give him some time,” I say. “Let him know you’re there, ready to listen, whenever he’s ready. That’s about all you can do.”
He sighs. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“So tell me about this lake we’re going to.”
Asher launches into a full-blown speech about this lake, how he and his family always visited it multiple times when they came up here, regardless of the season.
In winter, it froze over and made the perfect ice skating rink.
In the summer, AKA right now, it was the perfect fishing spot—also the only fishing spot on their vast property.
It sounds as if he has countless happy memories here, and it makes me wistful.