16. A Life Of An Omega In This New World
A Life Of An Omega In This New World
~ASTRAEA~
“ H ow many Omegas were attacked today?”
I only asked Velvet for verification because the number seems… out of proportion.
Yet, this is really happening.
“Fifty-four as of this morning,” Velvet reveals, looking conflicted as she crosses her arms over her chest. “One more and I have to put the Haven on lockdown.”
“Lockdown…” I nervously state. If we go on lockdown, I’m going to be trapped here for who knows how long.
We’ve done a few lockdowns in the past, but the longest one lasted three solid months because the violent attempts on Omegas were nonstop until the government intervened. We all know it could have been dealt with far faster, but Omegas aren’t on the ‘priority’ list, even if our lives are at risk.
I’d think things would be different if this situation was induced by the recent news, but when it comes to the government, which is run mostly by Alphas, you can’t keep your hopes up.
“Is that really necessary?”
I forgot Kaiser,Kai for short,was behind me. Velvet must have forgotten as well because we both look back to acknowledge the tall male as he casually stands there while we deal with the situation at hand.
We only arrived five minutes ago, and it’s been nothing but chaos. I’m thankful the alarms were finally switched off, but from the commentary, they’ve been ringing through the air for an hour straight.
“I may have no other choice,” Velvet admits. I’m not sure she can share a lot, if anything, with Kai present, but I think she knows him from somewhere because she’s been rather open, regardless of his presence.
Kai kept me company while Icarus offered to survey the area to ensure it was ‘safe’ for me to return here. Clearly, from the looks of things—and now potential lockdown — that may not be the case.
“I’ll have to if we want the government’s protection at this point. By not locking down, I’m projecting a message that whatever is currently happening isn’t threatening enough for us to be concerned. Locking down would give the remaining Omegas safety and will force the government to acknowledge what’s happening across the nation,” Velvet reveals.
“So, this is happening everywhere right now?” I suggest, trying to envision the mere idea.
“I’ve called ten other Havens, and all of them have been struck multiple times this morning. A few have had bomb threats. I don’t need us to make it on the news, saying there are no survivors.” She shakes her head. “I’m going to place everything on lockdown.”
“Um…” I nervously bite my lip, trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to do.
“Can you give us fifteen minutes?” Kai suggests. “I know this is urgent, but if things lock down, we can’t leave, can we?”
“No,” she admits, her worried eyes lingering on me. “Are you going to stay?”
“I’m not sure,” I confess. “Where’s Kamari?”
“She called to tell me she’s safe but is in lockdown at an establishment since there was a shooting,” Velvet reveals and pinches her nose. “Ugh. The amount of violence that has ignited in less than twenty-four hours is insane.”
“Velvet?” A glance over to our right reveals a shaken-up Beta with teary eyes.
“Don’t tell me there’s been another one?” Velvet huffs, knowing she’s answering her own question. She looks back at me. “I’ll come back here before we go on lockdown. Gather what you need ‘cause I’m not sure how long we’ll have to keep it this way.”
“Understood,” I assure her and try not to look as nervous as I feel.
She doesn’t seem satisfied with my response because she sighs and moves in to give me a tight hug.
“You’re not going to be forced to go back to your mom’s. If you don’t want to stay here, I have a few options. You’ll have your independence just fine. Okay?”
I hug her back just as tightly, pretending as if my body isn’t trembling at the mere idea of returning to that negative space my mom would dare call a “home.”
The only problem is our government gets the final say.
They don’t want us Omegas living independently. They’re going to instill the importance of having a pack to keep us “sane” during our Heats. If we’re not being beneficial in that sense and making babies, we’re useless.
“I’ll be back,” Velvet assures us before rushing with the Beta down the hall.
It’s not until she’s gone that the weight of everything sinks into the depths of my stomach.
“I guess… let me pack a few things while we wait,” I offer more to myself than Kai. Glancing over at him, I watch as he nods in approval before following me down the other side of the hall to our little apartment.
When we reach the door, I notice his intrigue as he looks at the camera device.
“Is this new?” I’m surprised he even asked, seeing as everyone gives off this impression Kai doesn’t talk. From first impressions, yes, he’s very quiet, but he’s not a complete mute.
“It is,” I reveal. “Got chosen for some trial or something. Guess with everything happening, I’m glad I have it… but I’m not sure I want to stay here.”
Opening the door and gesturing for Kai to enter, I quickly close and lock it before scanning my space. Everything is clean and in one piece, but acknowledging I may have to stay in this space for who knows how long by myself is giving me anxiety.
Taking a deep breath, I realize it’s too quiet.
“Ember? Blaze?” I’m already searching for where they may be. I’m positive they’re hiding somewhere because those two despise the alarm sound. We experienced it on a daily during the last lockdown, and whenever the blaring ringing came on the speaker, they went to their favorite hiding place.
The bathtub.
Sure enough, the pull of the shower curtain reveals my two pups snuggled against one another.
The mere sight of me ignites their loving expressions as their tongues come out, and they yap up a storm in their howling language. A giggle of relief leaves me as I kneel down and hug them together before rubbing their fluffy coats.
“I’m so sorry, babies. I know those alarm sounds are scary, aren’t they?”
“WOOF!” Blaze responds.
“HOWL!” Ember begins to howl, and Blaze follows suit. It’s as if they’re trying to mimic the agonizing sound that went on for far too long.
“Yes, yes. It was horrible,” I appease them. “That’s why you both need a nice big bone to calm you down, yes?”
“WOOF WOOF!” they say in unison, shaking their tails wildly.
“Alright. Let me go get them,” I declare and rise. Spinning around and heading to the kitchen, I feel a bit of ease, hearing them race behind me in excitement. “Where did I put it?”
I get Ember and Blaze treats regularly, but these specific treats are hard to get because they’re imported. They’re also super expensive, but money is nothing when it comes to my pups. It takes a bit of concentrated digging, but before long, I have two large bones waiting to be devoured.
“Got it,” I say in praise, turning around to realize the two cuties aren’t sitting waiting for me to offer their bones. “Hmm?” Where did they go?
Going back into the living room rewards me with the sight of Kai sitting on the floor with both pups snuggled at his sides like a puppy sandwich. His legs are crossed, allowing each pup to have a designated knee to rest their heads on while their bodies are curled up against his side.
He’s stroking their heads simultaneously, allowing the two to be calm, to the point I realize they may have fallen asleep. Lowering the bones on the counter as quietly as I can, I slowly make my way to them after grabbing my phone. Without hesitation, I take a few photos until the final shot is Kai raising his head to look my way.
“Oops,” I whisper before feeling the heat swell to my cheeks in embarrassment. “Sorry. I should have asked.”
“It doesn’t bother me,” he confesses. “Take as many as you want.”
“A-Are you sure?” I’m surprised how he seems so ‘easygoing’ with me. It’s odd to acknowledge, especially after the confrontation with Nate, where it seemed like Kai couldn’t give any regard to the man’s temper tantrum.
When we were leaving, he didn’t even bother saying a verbal farewell to the Alpha in question. He just said bye to Kenji and casually sat in the car.
He seems close to Kenji, though. Like they’re best friends, but maybe more than that. My instincts could be wishing for something that’s not there, but I’ll have to observe the two a bit more to see whether or not they’re just really close friends or something is brewing between them.
Either one, I’m all for it, but I just don’t know how I’ll fit in the loop.
It’s a dumb thought to have because, realistically, I’m their temporary Omega until we can figure out a way for Nate’s career not to be dependent on him having an Omega.
Maybe that’s why the Alphas are doing this violent outcry—to get things to change back to how they were. The government will surely play to their tune because they don’t care about us Omegas. They care about what benefits the Alpha collective.
We simply “benefit” from this ecosystem of lust and baby-making. It’s only wishful thinking to believe we can find some sort of middle ground without consequences.
Like being locked up.
When I’m done taking photos, I quietly sit on the sofa and watch as he keeps stroking their heads. Now that they’re asleep, I don’t want to wake them up with me shuffling around.
Staring around, I feel the climb of anxiousness forming in the pit of my stomach, desperate to rise upward until it’s choking my throat and leaving me quaking in a panic attack. Biting my lip, hoping it’ll pass, I try to ignore how hot it feels or how tightly I’m clenching my fists.
“Astraea.”
The tone of Kai’s voice forces me to blink out of my spiraling thoughts, my eyes darting to where he’s staring at me with seriousness.
“Y-Yes?”
“That’s the third time I called you,” he confesses, which makes me cringe.
“Ah. My apologies.” I need to get out of my thoughts. “I didn’t even offer you water or something to eat. Let me just?—“
“Are you scared of staying here?” He gets to the point, forcing me to pause in trying to uncross my legs to get off the sofa.
“What?”
“Are you afraid of staying here?” he asks again. “Are you worried about your safety here?”
“N-Not necessarily,” I confess and try not to look down like a submissive Omega would. I’ve never been asked by a male if I’m worried about anything. Sure, Knox has asked me, but he asks in a more parental manner.
The way Kai asks right now is with a bit of authority. Like an Alpha would ask his Omega, hoping she’ll rely on him by giving him the truth to his question.
I’m fighting my Omega instincts to do exactly that.
When he continues to stare at me, I feel a burning need to confess the truth.
Taking a steady breath and letting it out, I glance away and quietly mutter, “I don’t want to return to my mother’s place. It’s suffocating… toxic… a place that makes me feel like I’m drowning.” When I look back to see he isn’t judging me with those dark eyes of his, I decided to elaborate further.
“My mom doesn’t abuse me physically, but it’s just a different type of abuse. More emotional, if anything. Sometimes financial. It’s just a huge gap in generations and what she thinks is right versus my viewpoint and autonomy. We don’t mingle in the same space, and that’s okay. That’s why I’m at Haven,” I admit and lower my gaze to my fidgeting fingers.
“By the laws, Omegas either have to be with their parents, a pack, or a Haven to be ‘independent.’ It’s not necessarily independent, as in you get to do whatever the fuck you want, but more so, the government can’t breathe down your throat to get a pack. However, now that I’m of age for an Omega, it’s only a matter of time when staying with a parent won’t work, and I’ll have a lot of disadvantages.”
“What’s one of those disadvantages you’re worried about?”
“Omegas can’t own pets,” I quietly reveal. “Blaze and Ember will get taken away from me if I don’t find a pack. I get leeway with staying at this specific Haven because of Velvet, but she can’t gatekeep that forever. Kamari, my best friend, no longer has a pack, either, so she can’t help me out.”
“And your mom can’t keep them because she’s toxic.”
“She believes I love my dogs more than her, so she’d probably open the door by accident so they can run out and get hit by a car.” Even saying that out loud makes me shiver in fear.
Kai notices immediately.
“We’ll figure it out,” he announces. “You don’t want to stay here because…” he encourages me to continue the sentence.
“Because if I stay in one space too long, it feels like the walls are closing in, and my creativity hits a roadblock that takes months to get out of,” I reveal the truth. “My work relies on my creativity. Like a musician who needs to be in a good, productive space to create music for themselves. I can’t write if I feel boxed up. I get a bit of leeway to walk around without a pack because of Ember and Blaze since animals have higher rights than Omegas, but if they’re gone… I’m stuck here… and well… my thoughts begin to spiral… and I get panic attacks…” I trail off because I don’t want to keep talking about it.
I can tell from the way my hands are trembling that the reality is getting to me hard.
Just breathe and take a moment to calm down. It’s not going to go down that route.
It’s easier said than done.
This is the emotion I despise the most. How suffocating this level of anxiety can have on a person. The grip is so tight and obnoxious, and no matter how many times you try to convince yourself that everything will be okay, you can’t trick your body into that mindset.
Your body knows your mind is playing games, and even if you have all the proof that ensures things will go in your favor, it’s not enough to ease this sensation.
I hate this.
The sad part is I never experienced this as a kid. Life in my eyes, even as a teen, gave me so much hope. So much opportunity, and even if there were challenges and bumps in the road, I knew I could overcome them with determination and perseverance.
Why can’t I have the same perspective as an adult? Why does everything feel like it’s doomed to fail? Is it because I can no longer rely solely on myself to get from A to B? That I now have to rely on a group of men who barely know me to provide the saving grace I desperately need? Why is even finding a pack so damn difficult?
It makes me wonder how Omegas are in packs, more so by force than genuinely choosing their set of Alphas. With all the violence happening now, I bet it justifies why so many Omegas rushed to pick whatever pack they could string in.
And their resentment lives by making their pack miserable, by spending their money and sinking their businesses and funds to the ground.
I could never do that to another person, but then again, those Omegas could have been like me. Became of age at nineteen, forced into this world that wishes to make us feel trapped and forced into packs for their own benefit.
Will I slowly become like them? Forced out of this space, losing everything I cherish until I’m forced into a pack I don’t even desire?
“息をする, Astraea.”
The foreign words tug me out of the spiraling madness happening in my mind, forcing me to realize Kai is not only kneeling on the floor before me, but his hands are lightly on my cheeks, his thumbs wiping away the fresh tears running down my flushed flesh.
Shit.
“息をする,” he repeats when my eyes lock on his. “Breathe, Astraea.”
All I can do is nod and take deep breaths, realizing my attempt to not have a panic attack simply triggered one in the midst. It makes me feel horrible, igniting more tears to pool in my eyes, but from the look in Kai’s eyes, he’s not judging me in the slightest.
He’s so calm and comforting as he keeps encouraging me to breathe, switching from Japanese to English as he wipes away every tear that strays from my pooling eyes.
“S-Sorry,” I end up whispering, fighting hard not to sob. “I-I don’t… normally… it’s not…” How do you explain that you don’t normally cry in front of people? That you despise the idea of anyone seeing how weak and vulnerable you are over the simple idea of being stuck in what the world would deem a “safe” space?
I shouldn’t be crying or feeling this way, yet the feelings are so strong, I can’t even try to ignore them. To push aside all these big emotions and act as if they’re not destroying me from the inside.
Maybe this feels wrong because I’ve never cried to another through things like these. I do it in silence. In the quiet corners of my room, in the depths of the night, knowing no one will hear me.
I won’t burden anyone with my sadness.
Kai shakes his head before he rises and wraps his long arms around me like it’s a natural occurrence. It should feel weird or burdensome, but the moment he holds me, I feel a sense of safety. That despite the world feeling like it’s closing in on me… in this man’s arms, I’ll be okay.
I’ll survive it all.
“Your feelings are valid, Astraea. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. This is scary, but you’re safe. You’re not alone. I’m right here, okay?”
I nod into his shirt, hugging him a little tighter as I let myself cry. These emotions need to be released into the world, so I can rise from these limiting sensations and conquer them with execution.
When I’m able to stop sobbing, he sits next to me and lets me compose myself. Ember and Blaze had moved to their beds in the corner, sleeping away the exhaustion from being overstimulated and frightened earlier.
I can look around the room without it feeling like it’s caving in, but the uncertainty is still fresh. The fears are still lingering beneath all the unknown.
“You don’t have a lot of stuff,” Kai quietly mutters, drawing my attention to him as he slowly scans the room. “We can get this place cleared in thirty minutes, tops.”
“Th-Thirty minutes,” I whisper in disbelief. “But… where would you put it?”
“Our place,” he announces. “You’d be staying with us.”
“W-Why…” I look at him in confusion because I’m not understanding why I’d stay with him and the others.
“Did you think doing Nate a favor by being our temporary Omega meant you’d be staying here at the Haven still?”
“Y-Yes,” I whisper the truth because that’s exactly what I thought would happen. “He doesn’t want me on his tour bus. Why would I stay with you guys in your place?”
“Why not?” Kai says it so casually, I can’t even comprehend it. It’s something I don’t see him being so nonchalant about.
“That’s… not something you’d say,” I confess, and he actually smirks a little.
“It’s what Kenji would say, and he likes to influence me, oddly enough,” he confesses and even shrugs. “We’re reaping the benefits of having an Omega to ensure Nate’s tour isn’t canceled. Your cooperation with us also ensures none of our business commitments are interrupted. The government may be making a big deal with Nate’s tour because he’s a celebrity, but I’m sure Kenji’s and Icarus’ jobs would have been in jeopardy, too, if you didn’t volunteer to help us.”
“Would your job have been affected?”
His smile only grows as I see a dark twinkle in his eyes.
“No.”
“Interesting.”
“Curious?”
“A little,” I confess.
“Only if you allow us to help you,” he whispers and reaches over to wipe a single tear I don’t realize left my left eye. “You don’t need to stress about this when our pack can help.”
“But… there’s not much benefit. I mean…” I’m trying to explain my thoughts. “It’ll only be temporary, and I have a lot of stuff. It’ll be a lot of work and time-consuming for you to move all of this stuff, only for it to be at your place for a few weeks.”
“Nate gets to continue his career and not lose everything he’s worked hard for, thanks to you. Icarus gets to keep being one of the top talent managers in America. Kenji gets to enjoy drumming shit, so he doesn’t deal with the stress life brings to him daily. I get to watch my pack continue to thrive despite the circumstances placed against them, hoping we’ll fail again.”
Fail again?
“Does that not seem as if we’re benefiting from having you help us?”
“When you put it that way… it does seem like I’m helping.”
“We’re paying people who can come, wrap, and move everything in a heartbeat because that’s their job. Our money aids them and ensures they’re not on the streets because they’re Alphas who don’t have Omegas. By requesting their aid, we’re doing our share of good in the world, we get your stuff safe, you’re able to stay with us, and you won’t lose your independence.
“Living with us, you can do whatever you want, and if you need to go out, you’ll have a card that proves you’re in our pack, so you will have the independence you crave to create for your work,” he breaks it all down.
“Nate’s tour is going to take a few weeks to hit the spots. On the days he performs, and when he travels, you can come with us, since we normally travel together, anyway. There are loads of space for you to have your own spot, and with us, you’ll be safe. It’ll give more than enough time for this place to figure things out and for the government to think of a resolution with all this violence.”
“What about Blaze and Ember?” I whisper. “I can’t bring them.”
“Why can’t you?”
“I-I don’t know?”
“If they don’t have issues with five Siberian Huskies to keep them company, they’re more than welcome to stay at our place.”
“F-FIVE?” I gasp in shock, realizing I didn’t even ask them if they had or liked pets.
“Five,” he repeats, and his eyes soften just a bit. “One is my family dog, and the other four were rescued from a fire.”
“A fire?” I whisper in horror. “Everyone made it out okay, yes?”
“Everyone who I deem an ally, yeah.” He slowly looks my way, and I can see he’s judging my reaction. “You understand what I mean, yes?”
I slowly nod. “Yes.”
“Does that bother you in any way?”
“Not really.” I take a moment to think about it. “Only the idea of you getting hurt worries me a little.”
“Why?” His question only makes his smile grow. “I’m a stranger to you.”
“A stranger, yes, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to get to know you more,” I confess. “I know your name now, so we’re no longer strangers. More so acquaintances helping one another. That doesn’t mean we can’t become friends later on. Or something deeper. Who knows?” I stare deep into his eyes while thinking of my next words.
“Regardless of our status of closeness, it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t worry about your safety. You care about mine enough to make my life easier and stress-free, even if it’s temporary. Why wouldn’t your health and well-being be a concern of mine?” I summarize. “What you do is like the mafia? Doesn’t it put you at risk because you’re important to society?”
“Not to regular society.”
“True, but your society thrives, thanks to your existence and leadership, yes?”
“Yes.”
“Then your safety matters to me,” I conclude. “Though you’re not giving me drug lord mafia vibes.”
It must be the way I say it because he snickers.
“I’m not a drug lord.” He brushes it off like I just insulted him. “I’m an heir to a huge empire. Meaning, when my father is ready to step down, I take his place in running everything he does and more.”
“Like a family business.”
“Yes.”
“Just in crime,” I conclude.
“Yes.”
“Cool.”
“You shouldn’t be so accepting about that,” he mutters and gives me a side look. “You should be afraid of me.”
“You’re not scary to me,” I admit. “And it’s not like you ever had intentions of hurting me. I’m not a threat to you, and you’re basically a savior to me by helping me and my dogs. No one fears what won’t hurt or threaten them.”
“True.”
“So the fire burned your enemies, and you now have five puppies,” I summarize. “I should write you in a book.”
“So, you write stories for work?”
Oh, snap.
“Sort of,” I admit. “It’s pretty broad. You can say I’m a writer in various areas, and people get to request my services. They keep coming back, so I guess I do a decent job,” I confess without seeming suspicious. I’m not necessarily lying because it’s true with what I do. “Show biz is usually a popular area of demand. Everyone always needs something. Music creation. Lyrics. Documentaries and memos. Some request album titles. It’s endless.”
“Which makes you always in demand,” he concludes and seems pleased. “I like that. Makes you self-sufficient and in control of your flow of income and workload.”
“Which is something I don’t want to be taken away from me when my pack comes along,” I shyly admit.
“It won’t,” he admits. “When the time comes, we’ll just have to vouch for that.”
“You guys are going to vouch against another pack who wants me?” I offer.
“Mhmm,” he says with a twinkle in his eye that tells me he’ll use violence if he has to. “Nothing a little blackmail can’t fix.”
“Why do I have a strong feeling you’re more diabolical than Icarus?”
“Icarus is diabolical,” Kai emphasizes. “He’s just loud about it.”
“While you’re quiet to the point no one will ever see it coming.”
“Bang. You win.”
That makes me giggle.
“You don’t talk a lot, though.”
“I’m coming to realize that,” he admits, looking a bit confused himself. “It’s not like I don’t like talking. It’s more so that everyone around me usually isn’t good at striking and keeping a conversation. Half the time, they’re asking stupid shit. Then you have Nate, who just yells and whines because he’s a pick-me type of guy. The only ones I don’t mind talking with are Kenji and Icarus, but that’s because they know what I like to talk about.” He leans against the couch and looks at the ceiling.
“I don’t know. Talking feels like a waste of time if you’re not giving valuable information that heightens your relationship with another. Why waste oxygen saying things that the people in your company don’t care about? Most people give a shit about themselves and what they can get out of you. Only a few genuinely wish to listen and understand your situation.”
He’s absolutely right.
“Especially when dealing with Alphas and Omegas. Alphas have become so conceited in their own ego, ambitions, and accomplishments that every conversation is as if they’re trying to prove something. It’s annoying because what would another Alpha need to know about you being an all-star at gambling or being able to take eleven shots and not die?”
That’s a lot funnier than I realize, and I’m laughing a little too hard.Hearing someone like Kai complain seems like something he doesn’t do with everyone, but to have him open up to me so swiftly makes my Omega heart swell with excitement.
“Please tell me someone didn’t tell you that?”
“Not only did they tell me that, but they proceeded to show videos of them doing the act like they won an Olympic gold medal,” Kai says and shakes his head.
“The audacity.” I giggle.
“Ugh, it is questionable,” Kai emphasizes. “Then there’re the Omegas who only want you for what can be brought to the table. Like our existence is to be rich enough to support every single trend and desire they acquire because they’re an Omega. There’s nothing wrong with spoiling an Omega. That’s the purpose when we look into dynamics and how we’re genetically made between Alphas and Omegas, but the Omegas now think it’s a right to profit from us in all areas. A give and give relationship that can’t stop giving or else we’re deemed useless.”
“That’s the impression they’ve given you? All of them?” I never really looked at things from an Alpha’s perspective.
“Not just an impression,” Kai admits. “That’s how it’s been since our Alpha instinct began kicking in.” He stares at the ceiling again.
I can see a flicker of disappointment in the lines of his face.
“Imagine you go from being acknowledged and having choices to make a friendship or relationship with someone, only for it to turn sour the moment you become an Alpha. Your personality, likes, traits… all of that doesn’t matter anymore. Now, your identity revolves around your career, how much you make annually, and if you’re attractive enough to even have an Omega. Anything else about you becomes unimportant. If you like dogs or cats. What is your favorite color? Whether you read fantasy novels or romance ones. All those tidbits of information that make a person more attractive are no longer valuable to anyone.” The corner of his lips dips further.
“I can’t go about telling people what I do, so I’m just the businessman. That’s nothing to Omegas now. They think I’m a struggling mute who can barely make six figures a year. Just the idea that six figures is the new minimum income to make per pack member is mind-boggling.”
“That’s a bit tedious,” I agree. “I mean, most packs are between four to five men. Why does each pack member have to make six figures or more? Also, how about the Omega? Isn’t she bringing money?”
Kai chuckles at that part of the question.
“You realize most Omegas don’t work, Astraea.”
“Th-They don’t?” I knew it was bad, but I could never imagine not having a flow of income of my own. Relying solely on a man to pay for my continued existence? Then how about the babies come along, and suddenly your pack is gone? How would you survive?
The mere idea makes me cringe and think about how my mom relies on my dad’s income for everything.
As if she’s exactly that. Relying on everyone’s income but her own finances because she sucks at money management.
“95% don’t,” Kai reveals. “A survey about it was released last week. Before this fiasco, Omegas felt as though they no longer needed to work or make a living because it was their Alphas’ duty to take care of them in all aspects. Physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially. I’m sure they’re going to throw spiritually in there as well at this point, but you get it.”
“But… a lot of Alphas don’t have an Omega and vice verse. Why would an Omega assume they’ll be financially supported when they get a potential pack?”
“A way of blackmail, in a sense,” Kai admits.
“How?” I don’t get it.
“There’s an Omega shortage, remember,” he reveals. “To every twenty Alphas, there’s one Omega. The ratio is so unbalanced now that it’s pretty guaranteed that 25% of packs will never experience what it’s like to have an Omega. It’s also why there’s been a bigger age gap between Alphas and Omegas.”
“Do we have a big age gap?” I wonder. “I’m nineteen.”
“You don’t act nineteen,” he admits. “Twenty-three for me and Icarus. Kenji is twenty-two, and Nathaniel is the youngest. Twenty-one.”
“That’s not a huge gap to me,” I admit. “But I guess there are others who are probably ten years age gap or more.”
Kai nods.
“Has to be with the shortage. Alpha packs are finding their Omega later on in life, which can be good or bad when you think about it,” Kai elaborates. “Especially if they want kids.”
“By forty, most Omegas can’t give birth,” I mutter, though I hate to believe that apparent philosophy. I feel as long as an Omega takes care of herself and avoids long-term usage of all the drugs they like to force upon us Omegas to tame our Heat, she still has a few years to potentially have children.
Sure, there are still risks, but it’s not impossible.
“Well, that’s what the government projects, right?” Kai offers and waits for me to meet his gaze. “Do you believe it’s true?”
“No.” I don’t mind being honest with him. It feels natural. “I feel it’s another tactic of control and blackmail when you think of it. Our society is so focused on reproduction, they use it like a weapon. Don’t have kids at XYZ timeframe and you’re useless. There’s also very little talked about those who pass the prime time for having kids. Not because there is none, but because the government and the society don’t want to shine a light on the possibilities.”
“Which leads us younger generation rushing to find our Omega, then being forced to have kids in our twenties.”
“And the cycle continues through the generations,” I conclude with a frown. “I want kids… but not now. Maybe that’s selfish of me to say, especially as an Omega, but…”
“But?” he urges as he continues to peer into my eyes. The fact he isn’t shying away from the conversation pushes me to keep going.
“I haven’t enjoyed life.” The truth is always hard to admit. “Haven’t seen the world. Done things I enjoy. I feel as though I’m still a child, despite my age. I know nineteen is still considered young, but other Omegas have experienced a whole lot. Traveling. Trying different sports. Heck, some ride and own motorcycles. Obviously, it’s based on the activities of their packs that they found right before they reached age, but I’ve never done any of those activities.”
“Mostly because you can’t, right?” Kai asks for clarification. “Omegas basically can’t do anything alone. You have to be with your pack or have parental permission; the latter option is probably non-existent with how toxic your mother seems.
“Essentially,” I whisper in defeat. “It’s not like I don’t want to try those things,” I try to defend. “But… I can’t do them myself. Our society doesn’t allow it, and until I find a pack, I’ll never be able to do them.”
I’m fighting not to feel a certain way about my present circumstance and what the future has in store for me, but it’s hard not to be a bit depressed about it all.
“When I find a pack, I’ll have no choice but to be what I was born to be—be the Omega of my pack. The sex slave who just deals with her Heat with a group of men who barely know me and have children by the time I’m in my early twenties. Then I’m stuck, raising our kids while my Alphas will continue enjoying their lives, careers, and all the benefits of having an Omega while I’m forced to raise a child or children until I’m no longer useful to my pack. When that happens, it’s the pack’s decision to kick the Omega out or get a younger one and start the cycle all over again.”
“What?” Kai is gawking at me.
“What?” I repeat.
“A pack will let go of their Omega and go off and find a younger one and do that shit all over again?” He doesn’t just seem baffled.
He seems disgusted at the mere idea.
“Mhm,” I answer and try not to look so bothered by it. “You didn’t know that? That’s the new ‘trend,’ if you can call it that. Velvet told me about it. The woman from earlier who owns this Haven. I’m not sure if that happened to her or if she truly didn’t find a pack of her own, but she told me that it’s becoming a common practice. It’s not like Alphas stop impregnating Omegas at a certain age. They can do it their whole life.”
“I’m aware of it,” Kai admits but frowns. “But in Japan and other countries outside of America, that’s simply a death sentence. It’s a torture tactic given to Omegas who hurt society in a negative way. The Alphas don’t get scot-free either. Especially if they’re marked.”
“Marked. Right,” I answer in realization. “I forgot about that part. It’s more of an instinctive thing to mark an Alpha, right?”
“Yes and no,” Kai admits. “Generally, they say it’s instinctive, but truthfully, it’s really up to the Omega. The more heightened the connection or chemistry between an Omega and Alpha, the easier it is for the Omega to lay a mark on the chosen Alpha. There’s also the tidbit the government tries to hide under the rug that Alphas have to internally want the mark for it to flesh out and become permanent. If the Alpha doesn’t want it, the mark will fade like any hickey or bite mark. It’s another way of proving if an Omega wants the pack they’ve dedicated to.”
“If that’s true, doesn’t that mean a lot of Omegas who are just in the packs for their benefit can’t mark their Alphas?” I ponder.
“Yes,” Kai answers. “But they try to hide it by biting on the spot or replacing the mark with a new one every few days, giving the excuse of needing to do it multiple times. A lot of Alphas don’t care as much as they should because it’s not something the government focuses on.”
“But if the government did, all hell would break loose,” I mutter. “Hopefully, that won’t be the next request.”
“We’ll have to take our chances,” he admits and even smirks. “Willing to give hickeys, Astraea?”
“I could.” I’m willing to step up to the plate. “Though I’m not very experienced in that department,” I admit.
“You’ve been in a relationship before, yes?”
“I have.” No need to hide that. “But our relationship wasn’t very emotionally connected. It also didn’t last long at all. Aside from that, anyone who came and went in the relationship department was just an appetizer at best.”
He looks intriguingly at me.
“Want to try?”
He says it so calmly, I’m not sure if he’s being serious. A part of me is skeptical, yet the Omega side is all for the idea of leaving a mark on this man.
Just the idea has my body growing hot with this needy sensation, while my mouth seems to pool with saliva the longer I think of even pressing my lips on his porcelain flesh.
“Will I get in trouble if I do it wrong?” I don’t get why the idea of punishment both scares and excites me, but I want to ask just in case. This is all new territory for me, and I’m not sure how to act.
I want to learn…
“Never,” he reassures me and even reaches out to gently stroke the side of my head. The touch is so random, yet I melt further against him with the initiation of such an affectionate move.
To many, it must be deemed simple. In fact, effortless. Yet, this means a lot more than I dare to admit.
The affection I’ve craved for so many years from those who should have shown me more compassion and love.
My dad and his pack did give me hugs and forehead kisses when I was young, but as you get older and inch closer to potential Omega status, the government instructs all males, whether parental or sibling, to “back off,” so it doesn’t throw off our Heat cycles. I think it’s just a way to harden the divide between Alpha and Omega, but who am I to know if it’s their true motive or something not disclosed to us?
His hand further entwines in my hair, lifting it up so casually, like it’s a common occurrence.
“We can do it later,” he whispers. “I already have the moving people on the way.”
“When…” I begin to wonder, but then I dare to believe he called them long before bringing it up. Did he take the chance of me saying yes to his aid, despite the high probability of being declined ? “I… I want to try.”
“Yeah…” His response seems slower. Or maybe things are moving slowly in general. Like how he’s leaning over until his face is inches from me.
I try not to respond to the closeness, but it’s a losing battle with how Kai’s scent intensifies—the undertones of sweet apples with cinnamon, spice, vanilla, and even tidbits of pumpkin spice. The best way to describe his scent is walking in Fall with the brisk air, igniting a cozy sensation of warmth and comfort.
This man’s lips haven’t even laid upon mine, and I’m moaning, the overwhelming scent getting to my senses to the point where I can’t dare resist reacting.
“Be careful, 甘い Omega,” he warns with a Japanese word I have no clue what it means.
“A… Mai?” I try to repeat the word, the sound coming out like a chipmunk that lacks oxygen.
The attempt makes Kai growl, and the vibration, matched with the possessive sound, drives my insides into overdrive. I can’t deny the pooling slick between my legs, forcing me to press my legs together in hopes the panties I’m wearing could hold back the aroma of lust.
I can’t even flinch when Kai’s hand lays upon my upper left thigh, gripping it tightly as if he’s tempted to use a hint of strength to pry my legs open.
“Sweet Omega,” he translates as his lips brush mine.
We’re barely getting words out while our pants are much louder. It’s not like we’ve finished making out. No. We haven’t even kissed, yet our bodies are acting of their own will.
The aromas around us are so strong, it’s almost intoxicating. The crazy part is, it’s a good feeling—the dizzying high of being lost in this sweet perfume of various baked goods and spices combined. It’s dizzy-inducing, which could be why the world is spinning, but before I can dare submit to the spiraling sensations, I grasp Kai’s whisper.
“I can’t fight this anymore.”
That’s all he needs to say before he claims my lips like a desperate swimmer yearning to get that first gasp of breath.