19. The Real And The Imposter
The Real And The Imposter
~ASTRAEA~
“ L et her sleep a bit more. We’re not having guests until later, right?”
“Should be. Nate’s been blasting my phone. Saying we need to talk with the rest of the band.”
“It’s a Sunday. Why would we do that?”
“You already know when it comes to time, Nate thinks everyone should be available at his utmost request.”
“Yeah, because none of us have lives and commitments.”
“We found our Omega, and he’s worried about something of least importance. I’m not surprised.”
“Now, Kai. Don’t be a savage jerk.”
“She’s everything, Kenji. Everything we’ve fucking prayed for. Heck, she’s fine with the idea of us being a thing.”
“Wait… seriously?”
“Actually, Kai?”
“Mhmm. I didn’t think she’d offer the idea. Said we can try it out with this temporary agreement.”
“It’s not going to be temporary. I can’t see myself allowing another pack of Alphas to have her.”
“Of course, you can’t. You’re a possessive asshole like your dad.”
“Ugh. We have to explain that thanks to a certain someone.”
“Yeah, yeah. I suck at keeping secrets. Bite me.”
“Don’t bite him. That’s my job.”
“Ugh. I can’t stand you two. Go fuck in a closet.”
“Or we can do that with our Omega. Give her a little show.”
“Do you two see yourself being submissive with her?”
“Submissive? I’m confused.”
“Oh. You noticed, too, huh?”
“Noticed what?”
“Our little Omega may have a little dom-sub kink.”
“Ohhhhhh. Now, call me intrigued. I don’t care if she wants me to go on all fours and call her Mommy. I’d be into that.”
“Why am I not surprised you’d be 100% on board with anything?”
“Because you’ve gotten enough doses of my crazy self to conclude that I’ll do anything that delivers a new experience in my books. Plus, there’s just something about Astraea that makes me want to attend to all her needs. Maybe this is how it is supposed to feel with an Omega. I don’t know, but I like the sensation. It makes me feel needed. Important even.”
“You’ve always been important, Kenji.”
“To you, yeah. To our pack, certainly, but to the world? I don’t know. Some days, I feel like an insignificant dot that can disperse at any second. It’s overwhelming sometimes.”
“Kenji…”
“Do you still feel that way?”
“At the moment, nah. I feel like breathing new life. Weird, right? Maybe I was spiraling a bit earlier. Who knows? I told Nate, and he told me to fuck off a cliff if I’m so gloomy.”
“W-What?”
“Kenji… can you repeat that?”
“Huh? Why, Icarus? I said it clearly the first time.”
“My ears popped. Now repeat that. What did Nate tell you to do when you told him you felt like a dot that was going to disperse?”
“To fuck off a cliff if I’m so gloomy. I’m sure he was having a bad day or on drugs or some fuckery. It wasn’t like I’d actually do it. That was the night of the meet-and-greet, anyway. I thought about it, but then poof. I caught the scent of that sweet goodness, and it brought me straight to Astraea’s table. Fate must have felt pity on me.”
“Do you… still feel like a dot?”
“Nope! Hey, don’t look like that, Kai. You know me and my moods. My mind is circulating on our Sweet Hummingbird and what kind of date I’ll do to impress her! Oh! I should paint her nails. Can we do that on the tour bus? We’re going on there tonight since there’s a new requirement for the tour, right?”
“Yeah. Don’t know the details. I’ll find it out before you guys depart. Why don’t you and Kai go chill for a bit? I’m going to make some calls.”
“OH! Kai, I can show you my new drum set! I have to set the fucker up. It came in this afternoon. It’s STUNNING. Metallic blues and purples. Even has some pink. Oh! You know what? We should get tattoos! Matching tattoos for all of us.”
“Nate ain’t getting shit.”
“Okay, minus him then. As long as Icarus gets one with us, it works out. You think Astraea would want a tattoo?”
“We can ask her when she wakes up.”
“Cool! Let’s go. I want to show you, Kai.”
“Go ahead real quick. I need to pee.”
“Okay! I’ll get the keys to the studio.”
“Meet back here, though. We’ll go together. Just outside of Astraea’s room.”
“Cool! On my away.”
Silence echoes through the space.
“Mother fucking hell.”
“Kai.”
“He could have fucking killed himself, and Nate brushed it off? Is he fucking mad?! What kind of friend does that shit, Icarus! Don’t you fucking defend him!”
“I’m not. Lower your tone before you wake Rae.”
“He would have killed himself that night if he didn’t meet Astraea! Are you not comprehending what he just admitted? He’s telling us this now because his thought process has changed. Meaning he had every intention of killing himself.”
“Can you keep an eye on him for a while?”
“Of course, I’m gonna keep an eye on him. I’m not going to lose the man I love!”
“I’ll deal with Nate.”
“You won’t just deal with him. You’ll warn him to either sober up from all that alcohol-drug foolishness or get the fuck out of our pack! Does he think Blooming Salvation can’t find a new singing lead? Heck, we can revamp the whole band. I know how to play fucking guitar and scream on key in a mic.”
“It’s not that simple, but I actually wouldn’t shoot down the potential idea.”
“We just have to get a good-written piece and let it go viral. Heck, we can find a new lead for all I care. Play it unexpectedly at a performance and make fans crazy with the new set of members. Let them decide what they want Blooming Salvation to be.”
“I’ll look into song options and potential backups for lead singers.”
“If we had Blair Vesper’s contact, I bet we could get a song that stems from the idea of salvation. One that could be a beacon of hope for those in the dark and feel like they’re fucking drowning. With all the violence and shit happening to Omegas, too, it could be an anthem of hope.”
“You’re on point there, but Vesper is hard to get and expensive.”
“I have money, Icarus. I don’t care if it’s millions. If it can be enough… to make Kenji never think like that again, then money is nothing. I know we’ll have to do more than just write a song and sing it. I’m sure being in a band and touring is a lot harder than I’m assuming. Yet…”
“I get it, Kai. Breathe for a second.”
“We can’t lose him, Icarus. You know… we almost lost him once. I can’t… there’s no fucking way I can deal with that a second time.”
“None of us will go through that again, not with our little Omega in the mix. Just think positive and let’s ensure we keep an eye on Kenji. At least he doesn’t bottle up his emotions. If he needs us, he’ll tell us, and we won’t ignore the signs like Nate did.”
“I want him out of the picture, Icarus.”
“I know…”
“You can’t use his sister’s death as an excuse.”
“I’m aware.”
“Good. I’m leaving before Kenji thinks I’m taking a shit.”
“Wouldn’t want that. He’d insist on the idea of keeping you company.”
“Bad habits, I swear.”
“Go. I’ll handle things.”
“You always handle everything. You don’t get tired of it?”
“Can’t when you guys are important to me. Besides, it’s not a chore when you care about your pack. Maybe those rut-blocking drugs are fucking with Nate’s thought process, but that’s why I keep myself busy and my mind as clear as possible. If that means going to the gym every day at four a.m. and boxing the frustration out, so be it. Nate sadly uses alcohol and drugs to make his demons go away. A shame he doesn’t realize the agony he’s inflicting with his actions.”
“No shit. Ugh. I’m going.”
“Have fun drumming for hours. Maybe warm up those vocals of yours.”
“You and I know I shouldn’t be warming anything when Kenji and I are alone. Thanks.”
“Disgustingly in love. Go away.”
“Admit it. You’re happy for us.”
“I’m happy to work and watch our Omega sleep. Now, shoo.”
“You’re the worst liar in the group.”
“Fuck off.”
The creak of the door follows with a shutting sound, and the silence hums through the atmosphere that feels tense.
Fingers brush along my cheek before running through my hair, but I don’t think I can feign sleep after such an intense revelation of a conversation.
“Rae?”
I don’t make a noise. I just slowly open my eyes, expecting to see a blurry Icarus in my line of view. I expect him to be upset, but his eyes seem to soften at my wakefulness.
“Hey. Sorry for waking you.”
I lift my head slightly and shake it from side to side, but I can’t find the words to even confront what I just overheard.
All I can think of is meeting Kenji for the first time and how he seemed to light up the room. How he wasn’t frightened at the idea of confrontation and the way his presence made me feel like I could get out of that tense situation.
To think he was told to jump off a cliff when he was at his lowest and probably would have done it if we hadn’t crossed paths that night…
My heart shatters at the mere thought.
I don’t hear myself whimper until arms encircle me and press me against a firm wall of muscled warmth. That’s when the sounds continue to escape me, muffled by the supportive hug that fights to keep me at bay.
I’ve felt the heaviness of suicide in the past. Experienced the nagging need to do the deed in hopes of running away from the world. The only thing that stopped me was how frightening the afterlife felt. To acknowledge that the unknown was so catastrophic in my mind that I couldn’t take that courageous leap forward to find out.
Some say that suicide is a courageous act.
It is because I could never gather the strength to end things. Maybe I hadn’t reached that peak of agony to end it all, but if I did, I don’t think I could take that final step.
But Kenji… I see him being able to do it. Even if I barely know him, I see him giving me that unique smile that makes his eye light up in crazed excitement, only for him to hide the depths of his pain because he doesn’t want to bother anyone.
He just wants the world to know him as the crazy drummer of Blooming Salvation.
Not an Alpha who needed a helping hand and wasn’t even offered that.
“I’ll fix it,” Icarus reassures me as he holds me tight.
My tears have stopped falling, but my heart is still aching. How do we even make things right? It doesn’t sound like Kenji has a form of resentment against Nate, but then again, what would I know? I still barely know him, but I want to.
I yearn to help him in any way I can.
“You shouldn’t have to,” I whisper before pulling back to look up into his eyes. I can see his seriousness, but I also detect his concern. He can’t hide it from me, or maybe a part of him doesn’t wish to. “We need to talk to Nate.”
“We shouldn’t be overwhelming you,” he reminds me and strokes my cheek. “You’re not used to being around a pack like this. I know you have countermeasures in place so your Heat isn’t triggered, but it doesn’t mean we should play around with that.”
“But this is important to me, too,” I urge. “I know… this is temporary and all, but the mere idea of Kenji… not… being here anymore…”
“It won’t happen,” he says like a solemn vow, staring into my eyes as if he needs me to me to believe in him. That my confidence in him will propel him forward. “I promise, Little Omega. Please, rely on me a little more.”
I want to argue and prove I’m not some weak Omega who can’t partake in helping in this situation, but this specific topic is different. This isn’t a situation that needs me to prove that I’m strong. This is where I need to be the best Omega that aids the majority in the pack.
I’m new in Kenji’s life, and even if he may want me to be his Omega like Icarus and Kai, we haven’t established a strong enough connection for my words or actions to be as impactful as they could be. Icarus can at least get to him and knows how to reassure Kenji that we all have his back.
At least until I learn more about him.
“I want to go on a date with Kenji,” I emphasize. “Well, I want to learn more about all of you, but I want him to know I’m here for him, too. Even if I’m new or just a stranger.”
“You’re no longer ‘just a stranger,’” he corrects. “I aid in the band’s schedule. Now that we know the problem at hand, we’ll work toward ensuring Kenji’s mental health is a priority. I’m sure he’d be open to the idea of therapy, though maybe having you accompany him would ease his nerves.”
“I can do that.” Therapy could help him release more emotions. “Am… I allowed to accompany with the band practice?”
Icarus thinks about it.
“Wouldn’t hurt. I’d have to get approval from the other members, and Nate will obviously have a say, but if the majority approve, it should be fine.” He looks deep in thought. “Why?”
“I think it could inspire me to write something,” I quietly admit. “I don’t want to create out of a form of pity because I don’t sympathize with the situation. The song needs to project a sense of empathy. Of understanding. Of feeling the same suffocating feeling we’ve all grasped in different severities and putting it into words. Maybe witnessing the band’s dynamics and possible pressures the musicians go through could give me a perspective that lays everything out in words that can resonate with a larger crowd.” I cross my arms over my chest while I look at the ceiling for a moment.
“My process in creation is unusual. It’s not just thinking of a topic and writing it. I have to put into experiences that let me resonate with those emotions and write whatever comes to me.”
“How do you feel now?” he whispers as his hands lightly grip my waist, pulling me close once more.
“Helpless… and ashamed I can’t do more as an Omega.” I don’t lie to him. I feel no need to. “Stuck at a crossroads, begging for a sign that will lead me down a path that aids everyone involved, but it can’t be that simple.”
“That would be a set of lyrics,” he catches on and watches as I nod.
“But if I don’t write it down fast enough, it’s gone.”
“Do you still remember what you just said?”
“Stuck at…” And poof. Gone. “Fuck.”
He smirks and places a kiss on my nose.
“This calls for a recording device.”
“Huh?”
“You’ve never thought of recording it into a device to look back at it later?” When I stare at him like he just told me to go touch grass, he smiles from ear to ear. “I’ll get you one in the morning. For now, let me go make some phone calls.”
“Alright.”
Before he leaves, he gives me a box.
“What’s this?” I ask and flip it over to realize what it actually is. “W-W-WAIT! Why are you giving me a phone? I have a phone. A good working phone.”
“You need a phone that’s better encrypted so your conversations with your clients are confidential and discreet. Also, our Omega deserves the latest phone.”
“B-B-But this is new. Like NEW as in didn’t it come out like two days ago.”
“No, it’s in pre-launch,” he reveals with a taunting smirk. “Comes out at the end of the year for the general public. I’m sure ‘Blair Vesper’ can get anything ‘he’ wants, but I believe our talented, unique, beautiful, loving little Omega deserves the best.”
“Would have been romantic if you took out the ‘little,’” I complain with a pout, but I can’t stop myself from smiling. “S-Seriously? You’re okay with me having this?”
“More than okay. Bought it when you were working on the tour bus from one of my connections. Make sure you always have it on you.”
“Meaning it has a tracker,” I suggest and watch him further smile. “Now that I know you’re apparently some rich smart ass of a CEO for the top security company globally, I’m not even surprised that you’re a possessive jerk.”
“Good,” he praises. “It only goes downhill from here.”
“How is Knox, your dad,” I confront him, only to watch the way he grins and begins to walk out of the room. “No! Don’t run away! Who’s your mom?!”
“Take a wild guess.”
I rush to the door, catching sight of him as he walks into the very obvious private elevator that’s all gold. Flashy as fuck. I’ll have to take a rain check on getting a tour of this place, but until then, I’m left flabbergasted as I watch him reach over to press the floor he wishes to go to.
It has to be the distance and the way he stares back at me that immediately paints a picture of one individual I’ve known and loved for years.
“Velvet?” The name comes out in a squeaky rush, but I see the flicker of a spark in Icarus’ eyes as the doors begin to close. His smirk practically replicates the way she smiles, making me realize he’s allowing me to put one and two together.
“No fucking way!” I yell, knowing from the shut of the elevator doors that I won’t get answers until later.
Icarus is Knox and Velvet’s… son?
I should be completely shocked, yet the familiarities and resemblances are more apparent than ever. It makes me feel dumb for not noticing it sooner, but then again, I never would have thought Knox and Velvet would have a kid together.
A kid who’s now a man… dating me…
“Alright. Let’s not overwhelm my mind with all the scenarios that can go down now that I’m Icarus’ temporary Omega,” I tell myself, only to catch onto the sound of something vibrating.
Frowning, I look at the coffee table in this guest room, seeing an iPhone buzzing away against the marble surface.
“Wait. Did Icarus forget his phone?” I rush over to grab it, wondering why he hasn’t noticed yet. He could have multiple phones, but I don’t think he’s the type to leave it behind.
He may have been so comfortable early that he forgot. Could that be possible?
The thought makes my Omega heart flutter with a sense of excitement, though I don’t like the idea of Icarus not having his phone with him if it’s his only communication device.
“Let me bring it to him,” I encourage myself and rush to the door, only to feel the phone vibrating again. One glance at the screen and I can see NATHANIEL in big letters.
The image comes up and feels like a bit of mind trickery, but it’s gone in a flash as the call drops.
“He has to be trying to reach out to him,” I whisper and hope he calls again so I can let him know Icarus doesn’t have his phone on him.
With the urgency of whatever business they may have being time-sensitive, I rush to the door just as the phone begins to vibrate again.
Sliding my finger across the screen, I use my free hand to unlock the door and turn the knob.
“For fuck’s sake, Icarus, you don’t know how to answer the fucking pho—” I hear Nate’s angry-laced voice, but I gasp the moment I collide with someone else.
An arm immediately wraps around me, stopping me from falling back entirely. The scent of mint chocolate, with a touch of hazelnut, almonds, and even coffee, hits me all in one go.
My senses go haywire at the intense aroma that sweeps over me, dawning with the feeling of safety that makes me want to remain in this individual’s grasp.
Looking up, I’m left speechless as my eyes lock onto eyes of stunning green with a unique mix of blue and even a hint of purple. Their slightly tanned skin matches with jet-black short locks, further accentuating their beauty, but the icing on the cake has to be the visible piercings on his left eyebrow, nose, and corner of his lip.
Lines of familiarity hit me like whiplash, but all I can do is make a tiny whimpering sound because this man’s Alpha energy is so overwhelming, I wouldn’t be able to fight him.
If he told me to go on my knees and praise him like a god, I’d do it without a hint of delay.
Or regret.
“Hello? Fuck Icarus. Don’t give me the damn silent treatment here! This is urgent! Nathaniel gonna be there any?—”
The phone in my grasp is lightly taken away, and I watch as the grin on those hauntingly smooth lips only further spreads as all his attention is on me.
I can’t peel my eyes away, which is why watching him as he presses the phone to his ear feels like a movie being played in slow motion.
“Are you lost, Omega?” I thought Icarus’s voice was deep, but this man has defined new odds in how much base a voice should be allowed to portray. “Or am I just intruding?”
I can’t even speak at first but taking this man in from head to chest and back up again makes me realize one questioning problem pulsing in my mind.
Wait a damn minute.
“Nathaniel?” I question with uncertainty, all while the Nathaniel I swore was a douche from the tour bus is continuing to scream on the other end of the phone.
“Ah. I get it. You met Nathaniel Morelli,” he hums in delight as he slowly pulls me closer until we’re inches apart. I can hear how wildly my heart is beating against my chest, and yet I can hear his.
How it beats so calmly, as though this moment is a soothing lullaby from his perspective.
“Junior,” he whispers the final part, making me realize what he means by that.
Nathaniel Morelli… Jr?
“How rude of me to meet such a stunning Omega and not introduce myself,” he declares while he slips his arm away from holding me. I already miss his touch, but it is only for a few seconds because his fingers grasp my chin, encouraging me to lift my head to get a good look at his face. “So you’re the Omega who riled him up, huh? No wonder why he didn’t want me coming here. A shame.”
“A-A shame?” I don’t understand.
“A shame,” he repeats and doesn’t hesitate to lean down until his nose is brushing along my jawline and down my neck until he’s nestled in the crook of my neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply. “He’s about to lose the blessing the Universe delivered right to his doorstep.”
“Hey! Listen to me! You don’t fucking touc?—”
“Too late,” he whispers, almost like a sigh of relief, as he leans back and gives me a charming smile. “Want to be found, Omega?”
I don’t know what to say, but who needs to think when my body wants to react like a wild whore.
Whore, as in I’d fuck this man right now and don’t even fucking know him.
“Yes.”
Found. Discovered. Explored.
Whatever the fuck he needs to do to stay, I’m on board with it.
“Good Girl,” he praises as his hot breath tickles my flesh, sending goosebumps through me. “Because once I find what I want, I don’t give anyone else a fighting chance in claiming what’s mine.”
If this man knows how to use his tongue in the bedroom with how he’s smooth talking effortlessly, I won’t care about whatever morals I previously had before he waltzed into me.
“Nathaníel! She’s MINE! You can’t steal my Omeg?—”
“The number you’ve reached is out of service,” he declares, and I hear a beeping noise. Meaning he hung up. “Try again later.”
He pulls back just enough so our eyes can meet.
The pulsating tension is so fucking strong, I can jump him any second. That could be why his hands are back on my arms, gripping me with enough force that I can’t simply tug out and tackle this man.
“Nathaníel Morelli,” he introduces himself, noticing despite my struggle to stay coherent and not ride this sexual wave of need between us, I’m registering what he said thanks to my widened eyes of realization. “Senior. Two minutes earlier, to be exact. I’m our parents’ favorite, which is why they added the ‘iel’ at the end of Nathan.”
He smiles then, his eyes twinkling with so much life and excitement, it’s like watching what Nathaniel could be like.
Charming, seductive, kind, compassionate… happy?
It’s pure mindfuckery.
“I’m the ghost singer of Blooming Salvation. I heard enough about your first interaction with my dear brother that I figured meeting you in person would be my best shot at seeing who you’d like more.”
“Like… more…” I repeat the words slowly, making me realize how parched I feel. Only I’m not thirsty for water.
“A coward too afraid of love,” he offers and leans in enough that I can feel his every breath. “Or a man who will take charge and prove a chosen Omega who can handle our group’s madness deserves passion, admiration, and fun in this thing called life.”
To feel the slight pinch of his teeth as they lightly tug on my bottom lip is one thing, but to watch as he further sucks it without breaking our consuming eye contact has me thinking with my pussy and not with fucking logic.
“Which one will you choose, Princess?”
Fuck logic. Let me enjoy being in my Omega energy.