Violet
Logan’s hands were everywhere, and not in the gentle loving way either. No, his fingers bit into my wrists, pulled my hair, bruised my hips as he anchored me in place.
“I can smell the heat on you, Little Dove,” he purred in my ear.
My stomach flipped and I barely suppressed a gag. I tried to bury my face in the leather of his couch just to get away from his stench, but he used my hair like a handle and pulled me back.
Kicking my legs, I tried to fight against him, I didn’t care where I hit, as long as I landed something. I could free myself long enough to run, at least, that’s what I hoped.
“You know you’re mine, right?” He rasped, breath hot on the shell of my ear. His grip tightened, fingers digging in hard enough to make my eyes water. “I marked you Violet, no matter how far you run, I will fucking find you, and when I do?”
My chest burned. My lungs wouldn’t work. I clawed at his arm, nails desperately scraping at skin.
“And when I do?” he continued softly, almost lovingly. “You’ll be lucky if all I do is kill you.”
Something in me splintered and the room closed in, air vanishing and I knew. There was nowhere for me to run. There never was. It just made things worse, I just—
“Vi!”
I jolted awake with a strangled gasp, body jerking forward as if I’d been shoved. A blanket slid off my chest, pooling around my waist, and the sudden exposure sent a fresh spike of panic through me.
I was naked.
I didn’t want to be naked.
When I was naked, people would touch me without my permission. I liked sex, I liked being in control of my sex, but I didn’t want to be touched. If I stayed naked—
My hands flew to myself, clumsy and frantic, heart hammering so hard it hurt. The air felt too thick, like it wouldn’t go all the way into my lungs no matter how hard I tried. I sucked in a breath that turned into a sob instead.
“Hey—hey, you’re okay.” The voice came again, and I realized it was Skye.
He was right there, sitting up beside me, but between the dark and my lack of glasses, I couldn’t make out his expression. But, through the pack bond, I felt his fear.
No, no, no.
Bunny, I signed before patting around the nest.
I needed my bunny, and I needed to go back to my nest, the one with fairy lights, and where I could wear my nightgowns, and where I slept in my glasses without fear of them being rolled on and crushed.
But, something in my chest ached to be surrounded by my mates. Not like this though.
The wanting scared me more than the nightmare.
I pressed my forehead into my knees and hugged the blanket tighter around myself, feeling stupid and fragile and wrong all at once.
Fuck.
Maybe I was broken, or at least defective.
“Vi—are you okay?” Skye whispered. “You were thrashing in your sleep.”
Drawing in a sniffly breath, I forced myself to sit up properly, I then placed a fist over my heart before moving it in a clockwise circle.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I repeated the sign over and over and over again.
“Why are you sorry?” Skye asked before pausing. “Wait a minute.”
He placed his hand on the edge of the nest before patting around. I heard a clink as he hit my glasses before picking them up and slipping them onto my nose.
I blinked twice before readjusting them, seeing as he completely missed one of my ears.
With my vision restored, I could see Benji sleeping behind Skye, and now that the panic had mostly ebbed out of me, I could smell Serena’s hazelnut musk behind me.
I was in the pack nest, I was safe, but my heart never got the message, leaving it to race as if I were being hunted for sport.
“Better?” Skye asked.
I nodded automatically, then froze when my body immediately betrayed me.
The air felt wrong, to say the least. It was thin and cold, like it would be on the summit of Mount Everest. I swallowed despite the tightness in my throat and tried to take a deeper breath only to gag so hard I almost knocked myself over.
I pressed my palm flat to the nest before I could lose any more of my balance.
“You don’t look better,” Skye said softly.
I’m fine, I signed. Just pregnant.
But, it wasn’t true. When I was with Vinny today, I felt fine. Fantastic, actually. Sure, the babies made me feel like a beached whale and my back hurt, but I wasn’t cold. Or tired. Or nauseous. Or any of that.
And now that I could faintly smell him on the sheets, I felt worse than ever. It was like my body was forgetting how to function. My fingers tingled, and my bones felt hollow.
“I’m going to wake Benji,” Skye said.
I signed to tell him not to, but he wasn’t looking.
“Benji,” Skye whispered, urgent but gentle. “Hey. I need you.”
Benji stirred almost immediately, blinking awake like he’d been half-conscious already.
“?Qué pasó?” he murmured.
I curled in on myself as if that could prevent me dying of embarrassment.
“Vi?” Benji said quietly. “What’s wrong, Munequita?”
I tried to sign nothing, but my hands shook too badly to make it convincing.
“Ay, let’s get you into a shower, steam fixes all.”
Skye glanced between us, worry written all over his face. “You sure that’s a good idea? I don’t want her to pass out, and you know, drown.”
“I’m sure, poor thing looks cold.” Benji shifted to his knees. “Warm water helps blood flow, we get the color back in her cheeks, then we go from there.”
The tiles below my knees were warm, and I was surrounded by dicks. No, literally, I had Benji’s uncircumcised cock behind me, and Skye’s pierced rod in front of me. Did I know why a shower was a group activity?
No.
Did I like that it was one?
Also no.
But–did I like that the boys wanted to spend time with me so badly that they invaded the shower in the name of making me feel better a thousand times yes.
“We have got to get some meat on your bones, Munequita,” Benji muttered as his hands worked shampoo into my hair.
Not my shampoo. Gods no. Mine smelled like citrus and honeysuckle, this one smelled like mint, and medicine, and made my scalp tingle. Benji promised it would help wake me up, and to his credit, he was right, but I still didn’t like it.
I hummed in disagreement of Benji’s statement before leaning forward, resting my forehead on Skye’s thighs as I held onto his hips for dear life.
“We do, for the baby,” Benji argued as he continued to scrub. “I am about to start bringing you breakfast in bed and sitting there while you eat.”
My nose crinkled at the idea of eating anything right now, but Skye vocalized his disgust at the idea before Benji could press.
“No food in the nest,” Skye argued.
“No, not our nest, bed. Her nest is in Vinny’s closet, she can eat breakfast in his bed.”
I tried to look back and glare at Benji, but he just twisted my head back and mumbled something about not wanting soap in my eyes.
“I’m serious, Violet. Babies need fuel, the entire house worries about you. And I can feel that you are hungry almost all the time,” Benji continued.
That was weird, because I couldn’t feel it at all.
“Hungry, tired, horny, those are the shades of Violet,” Skye joked before grabbing the showerhead off the hook.
He brought it closer before washing the suds out of my hair.
My body involuntarily shivered as warm water ran down my spine. I knew when I got horny, or more so, was touching myself, Skye would appear. I also knew how bonds worked, but when it came to feeling things, I couldn’t do the same for them, not really.
I could tell when they were irritated, or sad, or tired, but those all felt more in the realm of empathy than a bond. Part of me wondered if it was because I’d only been marked by half the alphas.
And, part of me wondered if I should just let Vinny mark me. Things would be easier if I did, and I probably wouldn’t be so sick. But, every time I even considered it, my finger would throb under my wedding band, and I’d remember how Logan had three separate people hold me down so he could mark me.
The water kept running and Skye kept rinsing my hair, humming softly under his breath like he knew I shouldn’t be alone with my thoughts.
I closed my eyes and leaned forward again, pressing my forehead against his thigh, grounding myself in what was real and what had happened, and not allowing myself to spiral in the what ifs.
But, the what ifs were what destroyed the little slice of heaven I’d found in this pack. I couldn’t allow myself to fully relax, or even completely let my guard down, because Vinny reminded me too much of Logan.
Strong, power driven men who only wanted me because of what I’d had to offer.
I saw the omega on his computer’s home screen, and how he looked happy with her.
Vinny didn’t look like that anymore, and while I’d never asked what happened to her, it wasn’t hard to figure out that our pack didn’t make him feel like that.
That he only wanted to mark me because of the babies.
And, part of me would rather die than let another man own me, especially one after an heir. But, another part of me wanted so terribly to live, which was something I never wanted when trapped with Logan.
Eventually, Benji shut the water off and reached for a towel. He worked fast, wrapping it around me before the cold could set in. Another towel followed for my hair, his hands gentle as he rubbed me dry.
“Easy,” he murmured. “Slow breaths.”
Skye helped next, holding me steady as Benji forced me to stand and walk out of the shower. My legs felt weak, but not useless anymore, and that alone was a miracle. The steam clung to us as Benji toweled the rest of me off slowly as he gave me another once over.
I leaned into Skye, doing my best to wrap my arms around his waist, but his belly got in the way a little.
“There,” Benji said softly after a moment, tilting my chin and forcing me to look at him. “See? Color’s coming back.”
Skye studied me then nodded. “Yeah. She looks… better. Not good. But better.”
I signed thank you and Benji smiled before looking at the clock on the wall.
“Alright. Violet is not dying. That’s a win.” He straightened and rolled his shoulders. “Normally, I would say both of you are banned from responsibility and should spend the day sleeping and being spoiled.”
Skye perked up. I did too.
“But,” Benji continued, sighing, “I am behind schedule, the house is a mess, and Vinny’s going to wake up grumpy and wounded, which is the worst possible combination.”
Skye groaned. I winced in sympathy.
“So,” Benji said, pointing at us in turn, “I’m going to need a little help this morning. Light help. Folding laundry. Picking out clothing. Nothing strenuous. Pregnant omegas should still laze.” He stopped and looked at me specifically. “But they can laze while sitting.”
I huffed out a quiet laugh and nodded.
Benji clapped his hands once. “Good. Get dressed. Drink some water. We have work to do, my omegas.”
He left, leaving Skye and I alone, and I wasn’t entirely sure I was up to working. I was beyond tired and still very much not okay.
But I was warmer, and I was breathing. For now, that was enough.