19. Holden
CHAPTER 19
Holden
Why does she act like this is not normal, or that she’s inconveniencing me?
Is it because I’m part of Fable, or has she really experienced some bad fucking juju from other Alphas before? Because I understand being embarrassed at the situation, the location, the immediacy of it, without a pack or Alpha mate to protect her—but with the nature of Alphas and Omegas and how we work together, how we’re literally made for each other, that should never been seen as something to be ashamed about.
Being with Jez is something I’ve lived in my dreams, and now it’s coming to life. How do I handle this? I have no fucking idea if I’m coming across cool and calm or if she can see right through my mask to the mind-blown exhilaration inside. Where I’m dying at the nearness of her heart and mine. Her body and mine.
This thing I’ve dreamt of all these years and never imagined could come true is here. I could never tell another living soul, least of all Jez, about how I really feel.
Can I tell now?
There’s no real online confirmation of any of her previous romances, though I admit I had a look around before tour started, just digging more into her life from the past three years. Not really looking for personal stuff or gossip bullshit. Though that stuff comes up no matter how safely you try to search.
What I found was she’d been seen for around eighteen months, give or take, between Ten to One and now, with a local Bristol DJ called Tristan West, aka “DJ Saxon Wax.”
The fuck kind of name is that? I rolled my eyes at the time and it’s certainly no better now. I’m not big into the DJ scene but I hadn’t heard of him. I’d shown it to Thomas and Nico but certainly not Kai. He would only go off on one and I was weary of that fucking chit-chat.
After about eight minutes, the bathroom door opens in Jez’s hotel room. And if I expected the Jez that comes out to be relaxed, revived, and content, I’m dead wrong. She has a fluffy white hotel robe on, but that’s the only thing that looks in place. The rest of her looks ready to claw someone’s eyeballs out.
Her hair’s damp from the shower but her face is more than flushed. Her cheeks almost look like they’ve broken out in a rash. Her eyes are red. Tired. But also not blinking much. And she’s twitching back and forth from one foot to the other.
She looks pretty unhappy. Which means I didn’t do my part well enough.
Not well enough at all.
She stops just outside the bathroom door, staring at me.
“I thought you’d be gone.” Her voice isn’t like I’ve ever heard it before. It’s hollow, and that feisty spirit I’ve respected and admired in her is missing.
I shrug, raising my palms slightly, standing a few feet away. “I’m sorry that was the impression I gave. But as far as I’m concerned, I haven’t finished the job yet.”
She still doesn’t blink, but she doesn’t look away. I glance toward the bed meaningfully. Now that the heat of the moment, no pun intended, of being stuck in an adrenaline-fueled scenario has passed, is she really going to try to wave this away?
“Jez, you don’t have to be embarrassed. And I will absolutely leave if that’s what you want.” What did she say, exactly? It’s been a long fucking day, and all I can remember is, ‘Let’s go then.’
Her hips rock back and forth slightly underneath that white robe and I can feel my cock reacting inside my gym shorts.
“I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay. I’m not—I know I barely know you. I know we have?—”
She stops herself, looking down at the floor, looking toward the door, then back at me. “I can’t keep this from you, and I don’t know if he spoke to you about it. Or if he’s too embarrassed, but I have to be very clear. My heat started last night, after my set, as far as I can tell. This morning, I was in an elevator. With Thomas.”
Thomas. That’s where you went, you bastard.
A grin spreads across my face and there’s nothing I can do about it. “No. He didn’t tell me that. But here’s what I can do. I’ll tell him about this, with your permission. Then he will undoubtedly spill. And then there will be no secrets.”
“But I don’t want Kai to know!” she stammers. Her eyes are white and even her heat-flushed face whitens slightly.
Ah, so that’s what she’s all out of sorts about.
I heave a sigh, and walk over to the sofa to sit. “Jez, Kai is his own entity. He does things his own way, and usually, we follow with complete fealty. He’s not a bad guy. What happened back then—he thought he was making the right choice, and whatever he thinks about your music, however much he wanted to protest back then that it wasn’t his style, etcetera, none of that was personal. He comes across a complete shithead sometimes without meaning to. I’m not trying to say that our effective barring you from that show was kind, or necessary, or the right thing at all. If I could take it back, I would. Your audition was so damn strong, you wrote your own songs, and you were professional, and determined, and had that something that you need to make it in this business. Kai wasn’t out to get you. He still isn’t. He may have no idea how to frame his thoughts in a non-dramatic way. Everything he does is dramatic. But he’s not here to hurt you. Hell, if he knew what was going on, if he’d been in my shoes—or Thomas’s—he would’ve stepped in to help as well. Though I suspect you wouldn’t have let him.”
This earns me a crooked grin on her beautiful face, her aqua strands falling across her cheeks. She looks so much younger without makeup on. And she’s incredibly easy to talk to.
I wish I’d tried to before.
“I can’t tell you I won’t tell him, because we’re a pack. But at the same time, he’ll probably suss it out. For one thing, he’s the only one of us not on supp?—”
“He’s not on suppressants?” she shrieks, then a hand flies to her mouth. Her eyes are even wider than before. “That means he knows I’m in heat!”
I consider this. Is that why he acted crazy on stage tonight? He’d scented her heat?
“Ah. That hadn’t occurred to me.” I rub my temples. “Hey, can I grab a bottle of water?”
After a confused second, she nods and walks over to her fridge, pulls out a glass bottle of still water, and hands it to me. Then she actually sits beside me on the sofa.
“This is fucked,” she says, chin resting in her hands, elbows propped on her knees.
I shake my head, twist off the cap, and gulp half the bottle down. God, that’s what I needed.
“Okay, first off, what he said tonight—that wasn’t on. And we all told him to fuck off with that shit. But you know that already. Right now—what you’re dealing with—it’s not about him. It’s not about us as a band, or this tour we’re sharing. Right now, Jez, what’s important is what you’re going through. Have you gone through many heats?”
She keeps her gaze on the carpet. Her bare toes and mine in sneakers still. “Not since the first time. I’ve been on suppressants religiously since I was fifteen. You want to know the funny-slash-sad part?”
She turns to me, her face reddening again, and her robe falls slightly open as she does, but she doesn’t move to close it. The hint of the curve of her breast that I can see is enough to create a heat all of my own, flooding my limbs as my pulse starts to ramp up.
“I forgot to refill my prescription before the tour started. Viv always did all that stuff for me, and somehow, between her pregnancy and my intense focus on the writing and performing and practicing and controlled image, we both missed it. And I have to see a doctor down in England in order to get this prescription restarted. So I’m going the day after tomorrow.”
“So … you’re going to experience this for another couple days, then?”
“Most likely. No telling how long it would last on its own, but either way it should calm down by Friday night, I’d say.”
“If it helps, if you knew the amount of shit we lose track of you’d be amazed we remember to get dressed in the morning. None of us can keep up with everything in our lives. Especially not on tour. Different city every night. Trying to balance and juggle all our life-shit with music-shit?” I laugh.
“So I’m learning,” Jez says. Her body is facing mine more now, and her hips are shifting uncomfortably again. “Do you think—would you?—”
“Are you ready? Are you sure?”
She nods, biting her lip, and I’m jealous. I want her fucking biting me .
Without another word, she stands to face me, drops her robe to the floor in one smooth movement, and straddles my lap. Completely, whole-assed naked.
“Jesus Chri—” I start, but her mouth is mine, and she’s sliding her arms around my back. Her knees bend by my hips and my arms spring into action to catch up, slipping behind the small of her back and pulling her into me. Her hips grind against my groin and her beautiful breasts press into my chest, her nipples grinding into the thin fabric of my t-shirt.
I press my lips into hers, and God, does it feel good to kiss a woman who smells like this, who tastes like this—who is showing me such utterly undeserved, impossibly pure trust. I didn’t tell her, maybe now’s not the right time. But I haven’t been with anyone since we had Nyah.
Well. We never had Nyah. But she had us.
It’s okay. You can go, I say to my Alpha. It’s been awhile. And she’s not our Omega. But she’s an Omega in need. And she’s treating me with more respect and kindness than I could possibly deserve.
And so, my Alpha takes off.
I stand up and carry Jez toward the bed, her legs locked behind my back. She shakes her head though and throws an arm out to point to the far corner of the room, and I chuckle throatily into her hair.
She was ready. Not for me, per se, but ready for something.
On the far side of the bed she’s taken spare blankets and every pillow, possibly ordered more in, and made a makeshift nest. It’s all hemmed in with pillows and cushions form the arm chair in the corner. A large fleece blanket is thrown in there, and there are even a few battery-powered candles which I’m guessing she travels with, flickering on the floor. It’s as cozy as you can get, in a characterless, sterile hotel room.
“Oh, well done, Jez. This is the spot.” I kick off my sneakers then lower her small frame to the middle of the blanket nest.
“How do you want to do this” I say softly, leaning her back with my palms covering her breasts. Her nipples pierce the middle of my hands as she sprawls on the floor. Her sapphire hair spills all around her, and her fringe falls back from her forehead. The heat spilling off her in waves mixes with mine, and the dark dampness all across the front of my shorts reminds me that she’s been dealing with this for at least a full day now.
She shouldn’t wait much longer.
“Fast, and frantic, or do you want it slow and measured?” I whisper into her ear, as I prop myself on all fours over her. She raises a knee slightly to rub against my cock, pressing out without shame against my shorts now.
“Fast. Hard. Knot. Now. ”
Damn. Once the talking stopped, her Omega took over. Okay, then.
“I may be a bit rusty, but I’ll do my best.”
She smiles up at me and I lean back, flinging my t-shirt off over my head, stepping out of my shorts and boxer briefs. Socks come off last.
I run my hand down my cock, already nice and wet with pre-cum. “Remember, this is about you, Jez. You don’t need to worry about me.”
Her hands reach up for my cock and, my God, she takes it between both hands like she’s praying. Her tiny little hands, hot and slender, long nails painted black, encircling my cock—it’s the most fucking hot sight I’ve seen in a long, long time.
Still, I take them in mine and slide them gently off and away, then press them to her sides and lower my mouth to her left breast.
I suckle the nipple into my mouth, painting circles around the areola and coming to life in the symphony of her sighs and groans of pleasure that my tongue elicits.
“Holden,” is all she says, her eyes squeezed shut and her closed lids quivering. The pleasure written there is like starlight, like gold dust, and I will do anything to keep it there for as long as possible.
After attending to her breast, her back arching and pressing it further into my mouth, I straight-up suck the tip in as far as I can. Meanwhile my other hand dips its fingers inside her wet entrance, and drags those one at a time up her belly and back down, circling her navel and then finding her clit.
It’s as much like a choreographed dance as I can do. I’ve never been good at anything on stage apart from sitting behind the drums and bashing away. I can go at the drums for hours on end; I could never be the front man dancing and singing and playing before the crowds.
When I dance, it’s like this, and only for one.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen an Omega so wet before. Between the situation on the climbing wall and the slick pooling on the blankets underneath, this Omega has been in need for a long while I feel like.
“God, you’re so unbelievably hot,” I say between mouthfuls of luscious breast. “I want to do whatever you need. I want you to feel completely, utterly adored. Worshipped. The way you deserve. And last but not least—” I pause, leaning over her other breast. I dip my lips to the hardened bud of her nipple and suck it in, circling it with my tongue and suckling like it’s all the sustenance I’ll ever need. “Safe,” I finish, around the erect tip in my mouth. “You should always be safe. And should you need any of us again, don’t hesitate to ask.”
As I pull away, my mouth woefully empty without any of her glorious breast in it, my eyes flick to her glistening folds. I plant my hands on either side of her hips, then exchange a glance with her. Her pink lips are open slightly and she nods, sweat beating on her forehead. Then, without another word, I bury my tongue between her legs.
Without any warning, her taste explodes into me.
Yes, I have been on suppressants since Nyah disappeared and we all agreed it was best. I never went off them, not even between tours. I didn’t want to think of my role as Alpha again, not for a long time.
But this taste, this sensation, it’s like a lightning strike to my heart, my loins, my lungs, and my mind. This Omega tastes like springtime. Like the world awakening, like spring flowers coming to life after a cold winter.
Or maybe that’s me. Coming back to life.
Coming back to awareness. Because I don’t need to be suppressant-free if the match of my dreams is spread out before me. I know it, like I know my own heartbeat.
This Omega is my match. She must be our match. And while that means Fable on Fire is in a world of trouble—and maybe Jez Jacobs, too—right now, my tongue between her lower lips, siphoning this nectar, is exactly where it was created to be.
Before I know it both of her knees are raised around my face, my eyes closed so all I can see and focus on before me is the scent of her, the taste of this wild, beautiful Omega, this one I have waited to know. She is the tropical paradise I’ve longed for.
She rocks her hips up toward me and I drink every drop I can. I don’t want to waste a single taste.
“Holden,” she whimpers, her voice so small in its mewling purr. I would protect anyone that says my name in such a pleading, pure, intense tone from now until eternity.
I rear back and slide my cock inside her slit, thumb resting on her clit. “Is this what you wanted, baby?”
She raises her hips and ass as I lower inside deeper, deeper, right up to my knot, and we find a frenzied rhythm quickly.
It’s like we’ve done this together a thousand times. It feels so right, burying myself inside her, her high-pitched moans, her fingers grasping for me as she throws her head back and squeezes her eyes shut.
And when her body begins to shudder and her back arches as far as it will go, I slowly ease us both down and let her ride the current of her orgasm until she’s back on the floor, eyes fluttering open.
They blink once, twice, then turn to look at me. And she smiles, her pink-jewel lips raised in genuine joy. No shields between us, no defenses thrown up.
But true to her earlier demands, she’s soon ready for more.
She sits up and takes my rock-hard cock between her tiny hands again and begins to stroke it. Slowly at first, and then soon makes it drip with pre-cum again.
Within breaths, my knot begins to swell up. It’s not at full size immediately, but her eyes watch as it grows, and she glances up at my face.
I haven’t shot my load yet because this is her need, her heat—but I’m certainly happy to if she’s asking.
I lick my lips and incline my head, and this seems to be all it takes. Jez flips over on all fours, reaching forward like a feline and with one hand behind her, guides me to her still-soaked slit from behind.
“Knot. Please. Holden,” she purrs, rocking forward on her hands and knees.
Her glorious, beautiful, perfect, peach-like ass is right before me. Ripe for the entrance.
Jesus, what did I do to deserve this ?
With her long aqua hair cascading around her shoulders, the sight before me is too good to ever let go. I try to etch it in my memory, but my cock isn’t wanting to wait.
Kneeling behind her, I reach around and cup one breast as we rock together, our bodies melding into one form. I kiss the soft skin on her shoulder as we move in sync, and lick it, taste it, and place my teeth against it, wanting to bite down so badly, I have to tell myself to back the fuck off.
When I feel my knot reach full size, I lean my lips toward her ear. “Are you ready for my knot, Jesamine Jacobs?”
She nods her head vigorously but I have to ask. “You sure? I want to be sure. It’s somewhat—oversized, is all.”
She ducks her head down as if trying to get a good view from between her legs. I assist in this by pressing my cock lower, my hand at the base of the inflated knot. We continue to rock and I can tell when she’s seen it when her shoulders stiffen and her elbows lock. She rocks faster, and bobs her head up and down again.
“Beautiful,” I whisper. “Let’s do this.”
I slip back inside the heavenly folds of her slit, sliding right in like I belong there for forever. And as my knot pounds up against her entrance time and again, my heart rams against my ribcage with complete, bewildered joy.
“Okay, here it comes, baby.” With Jez still on all fours before me and my hips crashing into her tight ass over and over, I wait until she’s as relaxed as I guess she’s going to be and dive in all the way up to the hilt.
My knot opens her wider than I imagine she’s probably ever been before. She bucks back against me and a high-pitched moan rips through her body and out of her throat. And then as I pull back out, my load releases at last, all over her perfect ass, thighs and calves.
“Oh, GOD, ” Jez cries out, and she collapses down onto her forearms. “Fuck me, oh my God.”
As she continues to make outrageously loud exclamations about the size of my knot, the biggest fucking smile you could imagine has cemented itself on my face. I fold in beside her, the breath shuddering out of me and my arms slipping around her chest, holding us together as our gasps for air crash together.
When our breathing calms down and I sense she’s gone into a deep sleep, the heat finally wearing down for the time being, I pull one of the blankets around her.
I can’t—won’t—leave her like this. I cuddle up behind her, trying to tuck my protesting dick away so she can just rest. But I can’t bear to leave her side. She’s my Omega—our Omega, really. I’m certain. So I will stay, because that’s my duty. To protect, to serve, to stand by her.
When I finally close my eyes, satisfied she’s safe in my arms here until morning when I’ll have to slink back to my own room, I realize—I may know she’s our scent match. But if Kai’s off his drugs, he fucking knows too.
And he hasn’t told us.
But I can’t keep this secret from anyone. I want the world to know. And that will have to begin with confronting my front man. And asking what the fuck he’s been doing hiding our Omega—because he was off the suppressants during Ten to One . He had to have known, three years ago. Three whole damn years.
It was his decision to have her kicked off the show before it started. And what makes this all worse is the crude shit he rattled off during the set tonight, about how she would with him . Knowing what he must know, and also knowing how much she detests him, this feels like too big an injustice to ignore.
All of that conversation can wait though. First thing in the morning, Jez is the one who needs to know the most.