34. Jez
In my lap I grip Kai’s hand from my right and Holden’s from my left. The sequins in my dress are digging into my shoulder blades, but I insisted on wearing it despite Viv’s warning it looked like an allergic reaction in couture form.
Besides, we’re sitting toward the front of the theater for the Euro Lights awards show, the biggest European music industry awards ceremony of the season. It’s six months since tour ended, and since the most astonishing, magical time of my life has come to a close.
Better things are ahead, don’t worry, babe. Those had been Holden’s words to me this morning when I had a spontaneous sob getting dressed. Mostly it was nerves and excitement amping up my emotions, but I have been really missing the touring life.
Once I got used to it, it was hard to imagine anything else. But moving into Fable’s house in Reading was a big distraction—in the best possible way. Building a nest has taken half of my time—well, building, and then using . The rest, of course, has been devoted to songwriting.
And doting on Viv’s three beautiful, healthy boys.
“Coming up after this next award, a special performance by Fable on Fire, featuring special guest Jez Jacobs.” The camera man in the suit kneeling on the carpeted floor in front of us makes the signal that he’s on and we smile into the camera. I try to look off into the middle distance like this is some casual, everyday occurrence. Then I break character and squeal into the lens.
Thomas laughs.
This is our cue and we’re quickly ushered backstage. Behind the curtain, stagehands pass out guitars and Holden settles himself behind his drums. Ash, Steve, and Ferny stand by, Ash whispering, “Try not to show them up too much, Jez.” I grin and give him an okay symbol.
The curtain pulls back and reveals the auditorium before us, so many of our peers, so many of my teen idols and current favorites seated out there watching us. So many movers and shakers in the industry that’s given me a chance—then given me so much more. I flash my teeth at the crowd, ready to go.
On Holden’s count, we kick off End With the Night, which we’ve revamped with a guest cellist, who stands beside Thomas. Kai and I take turns on the verses and our voices entwine on the chorus, and every time I glance at the audience, I see those three girls at my first tour show in Glasgow, standing in front, waving. Without them, I don’t know if I’d be standing here now, playing and singing along with this now-signature number.
The crowd roars to its feet with a standing ovation when we finish, and we all look at each other with gratitude and hope in our eyes. Hope for what’s to come.
After we’re shown back to our seats, having exchanged kisses and hugs and whispers of Thank fuck we did it, there are three awards left.
The third-to-last is Best Breakout Artist.
The nominees are read out. Kai links his arm with mine and Holden leans in to kiss my cheek and presses his forehead against me. My name is read last.
Then the R&B singer in the stunning mermaid-scaled dress opens the card with the winner’s name.
“And the award goes to—Mercy & Lilah.”
My stomach drops like I’ve raced down from a roller coaster’s height.
It’s okay. I’m okay. I honestly never dreamed I’d be nominated, or be given the chance to have my name spoken aloud with these incredible artists.
I smile wide, and not just because the camera’s on me. Tears might come later, but my Alphas are beside me, applauding and smiling, taking my hands and surrounding me with their strength. I’ve already won more than I can count.
The penultimate award is the one that makes me even more nervous.
“The nominees for Best Tour are as follows: Fable on Fire Running Amok Tour with Special Guest Jez Jacobs …” The guest host reads the rest and it’s my turn to squeeze their hands.
They’ve been nominated for this three other times and never won. Once a bridesmaid , sighed Nico the other day, to which Holden replied, We’re not supporting someone get married, you muppet. We’re racing to fucking win .
Another celebrity comes out with the winner’s name in a card. As he opens it at the podium, he gives a flicker of a grin, then says, “And the winner is Fable on Fire with Jez Jacobs. Come on up here, all of you!”
I sit there, staring, my reality seeming to skip like a record. I heard the words but it’s not until Viv, seated behind me with her pack, digs a knuckle into my exposed shoulder blade. “Girl, get up there! It’s all of you!”
We all stand together, and with my hands gripping an Alpha on either side, we shuffle in shock onto the stage.
Once we’ve all shaken the presenter’s hand and we’re stood in a line, with Thomas holding the award, we all exchange a, What in the holy hell look and then gaze out at the sparkling sea of the industry’s best-dressed and most talented.
And when a round of applause sweeps across the room before we’ve even said a word, with eyes wide we all bow together. Then each Alpha leans in to kiss my face simultaneously, before Kai leans into the mic.
He’s overcome with emotion, but clears his throat a few times and begins. “It’s cliché to say I didn’t have a speech prepared, but no, I really didn’t.” The crowd laughs. “Thanks to our management, Ash Knightley Entertainment, to Ash himself, to Steve, Ferny, Jonah, Jan our head guitar tech, the rest of the team: Tyler, Cam, Caylee, Finn, Sue, Gareth, Ry, Murray, Shay—they couldn’t be here—and Liana, our incredible road manager. Everyone was a part of this, from our tour bus driver to the catering staff at every event, fuck, who am I forgetting.” He looks over at me. “Thanks to Viv, out there.” He points at her, grinning. “Without her, we wouldn’t have had the marvelous opportunity of this breath of fresh air making each night on tour the best it could be. Thank you, to our Omega and our love, Jesamine Jacobs, for saying yes.”
I’m grinning so hard and so overflowing with disbelieving joy that my chest tightens in response. But there’s no room for panic inside. Not when I look down at my best friend, and across at the four best Alphas any Omega has a right to dream about.
No outward image can fully hide the truth you carry, and the ones who see it and reach out are the ones who’ll take your weight when the path drops beneath you. No matter what struggles I still face, I can close my eyes and see their hands in mine, and know we’ll never let each other fall.
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Thank you so much for reading Knot Their Opening Act !