Chapter Nineteen – Kayla #2
Hayden has a reply ready: “Pretty sure you only use like five rooms in this big place. You could house an entire football team here and only see half of them on any given day. Maybe I’m the first to say it, but it’s a little ridiculous.”
“My father never half-assed anything. Why would he want anything other than the biggest and the best?” Maybe it’s because he told me about his father and what he did earlier, but I detect a hint of rage in his voice when he talks about the man.
Hayden doesn’t have an answer to that. Instead, he continues his mission of show and tell.
He got me some matching pajama sets. Even slippers—and I’ve never had a pair of slippers in my whole life.
I don’t know that I’d like them. Me and socks don’t typically get along, so I assume slippers would be the same.
It’s a lot of stuff, to put it lightly. It must have cost Bradford a fortune to pay for everything, but I guess when you’re literally made of money, you can spend it on stupid, pointless things like slippers.
By the time Hayden finishes showing everything off, it’s late.
He and Bradford leave to give me some privacy to shower, and I hear them bickering with each other as they walk down the hall.
Hayden is going to sleep here too; he mentioned he’ll take a room near mine.
I don’t know if he’ll be right next door or if he’s going to be a bit further down, but it doesn’t matter.
I won’t run. Jeremy finally messaged me back around seven saying a single word: Ok. As weird as that one-word answer was, I also knew it was as good as I’d get from my brother. All that to say, I won’t be running home in the middle of the night.
I grab a set of pajamas, some soap and shampoo, a set of soft towels, and head across the hall to the bathroom. Only after I set everything down do I go to lock the door—it’s not like I think either of them will bust it down while I’m naked or anything, it’s just… out of habit, I guess.
A silly habit, really, since a locked door has never stopped Jeremy before. If he’s that lost to his anger, he can bust it down. He might not be as tall or as intimidating as, say, Bradford, but my brother is still an alpha, and that means he can rage like no one else.
The water takes a bit to get hot, and only when it’s fully warmed up do I start to take off my clothes. A huge mirror rests on the wall behind the vanity, and I try not to get a look at myself in the mirror. Lately, I haven’t liked what I’ve seen, and I don’t think tonight would be any different.
More and more I don’t recognize myself. More and more I feel like everything is slipping out of my grasp, and no matter how hard I try to keep hold of it, the faster it goes.
Right when I think I have the handle on everything, the rug is pulled out from under me and I’m reminded that I am nothing.
I’m not important. I’d be nowhere without my brother, even with his temper.
I step into the shower, and the moment that hot water pelts the top of my head, I relax and shut my eyes.
It’s such a spacious bathroom, the area of the tiled shower is bigger than the entire bathroom at our apartment.
I can stretch my arms on either side of me and not touch the wall or the glass partition.
I don’t know what makes me think of it, but I think about the omegas at that academy, the one that recently got new owners and renamed. Used to be Solus Academy, but now it’s New Omega Academy, a place for orphaned and lost omegas.
If things were different, if I was younger, I might’ve been able to find a place there.
The rumor mill said the old management wasn’t exactly the kind of management that actually took care of the omegas, but now it’s supposedly turned a new leaf.
Back then, I probably would have been sold off to the highest bidder, but now…
if I was younger, maybe now I would’ve had a chance.
A chance at a normal life. A chance at finding love, a pack, everything I always stopped myself from dreaming of.
Dreaming for those things, I knew I’d only ever be disappointed.
From a very young age, I constantly reminded myself that there was nothing out there like that for me, that I was lucky to avoid the auction house and all the other horrors that plague no-name omegas like me.
Starving myself helped stop me from wanting that, too.
I can only imagine how I’m going to feel tomorrow.
After eating all that pizza and drinking that pop, I might be in for it.
Certain things inside of me might be kickstarted.
It’s a very bad idea for me to get used to eating all this food and drinking full-calorie drinks when it’ll only lead me to one thing.
My inner omega. The hormones that come along with her. The heats.
Okay, so more than one thing, but needless to say, all things I’d like to avoid, especially while here. The guys are understanding, but how understanding would they be if I turn into a hormonal, desperate, needy omega whose only thought is getting an alpha knot?
Would Bradford still keep his hands off me? Would Hayden—the maybe-alpha—still act like a knight in shining armor? I don’t know. An omega in heat tends to do things to alphas, or so the rumors say. One smell of our pheromones and they damn near lose their minds.
I push those things from my mind. Maybe if I don’t think about them, nothing will happen. Maybe I’m over-analyzing everything.
I take my time in the shower. I use more shampoo than I’ve ever used in my life at one time. I even use some conditioner, something we’ve never splurged on back home. I went for the vanilla scent, and they’re both creamy and rich and everything I could never hope to afford with Jeremy.
Only once I’ve soaked up enough hot water and steam do I end the shower and step out.
The soft towel Hayden got for me doesn’t itch my skin when I dry myself off, nor does the length of my hair get stuck in its hard fabric when I squeeze it dry.
I’m living the life of luxury here. As much as I’m trying not to get used to it, it will be a sad day when I have to say goodbye to all of this.
They say money can’t buy happiness, but I think that’s something rich people tell poor people to make them believe a lie so they’re happy with whatever crumbs of society they have.
Because all this stuff? It’s nice. Totally not necessary in the greater scheme of things, but it certainly makes showering more enjoyable.
Nice clothes. Good, soft sheets on your bed. Enough money in the bank you don’t have to worry about paying the gas or the electric bill, not to mention your rent. Extra funds for when you want to eat out or buy yourself a little treat.
All those things lead to happy people. Relaxed people. The people like me and Jeremy, the ones who can’t afford those things… it’s a stressful life. How can anyone truly be happy when they’re that stressed out?
Money might not buy happiness outright, but it does buy the conditions that can lead to a happy existence. The only people who say that line are ones who’ve never struggled a day in their life.
I put on the pajamas Hayden got me: a matching set with no design, but a dark red color, almost maroon.
The pants are a little long given my short stature, but not so long that I’ll trip on them.
The shirt has short sleeves and buttons along the front.
Whatever fabric they’re made from is beyond soft, and it rests lightly on my skin.
It feels so bougie. I kind of love it.
I brush my hair and my teeth after that, and then I head to my temporary room, shut off the light, and crawl under the covers.
Even the pillow under my head is soft. The sheets feel new.
It doesn’t take long at all for me to get comfortable, something I could never say about the pull-out futon in the apartment.
This is nice. Honestly, this is so damn nice. I could fall asleep in this bed and never wake up, and you know what? I’d be fine with it.
I smile to myself in the darkness, and as drowsiness overtakes me, my last waking thoughts are of the two men in this house. Two men I shouldn’t think of at all, yes, but they’re also two men I find myself thinking more and more about lately.
Bradford, the untouchable alpha with scars worse than mine, and Hayden, the beta who I’m now pretty damn sure is an alpha in disguise. Two men, so vastly different from each other.
The thought of them shouldn’t bring me comfort, but it does. Thinking of them lulls me to sleep, and I doze off faster than I ever have in my life, falling into a deep sleep that, by all accounts, should be restful.
It’s not, though.
Somehow, even though I fall asleep thinking about the two men in this house, I’m caught in a dream with my brother.