Chapter Twenty-Three – Hayden #2
Once she overcomes the shock of what I said, her face scrunches together in slight confusion.
“But if you were an alpha who’s so confident I belong to you, wouldn’t that make you jealous?
I mean, not that I have much experience or anything, but I think the only way an alpha doesn’t get jealous of another alpha is when they’re pack. ”
Crap. She’s right. When it comes to alphas and their emotions, it might as well be all-out war when it comes to alphas not in the same pack together. But when those alphas share a bond? Things are different. Emotions are different. Jealousy rarely, if ever, enters the equation.
Last I checked, Bradford and I are not in a pack together, so how the hell can I explain it?
I’m going to table that thought for now. It’s way too complicated to think about while the sun is still up. That’s definitely a nighttime thought, one where I can lay awake and think long and hard about it.
I turn the tables around on her and say, “Not too long ago you would have flipped out if anyone told you anything remotely similar to that. You never would’ve let Bradford smell you, and you definitely would’ve argued with me about belonging to me.”
“Like you said, hormones?” Kayla offers it up as the easiest explanation, and in a way, she’s not wrong.
But it has to be more than that. This link, this attraction… it’s not just fueled by lust and hormones. Something deeper is there, beneath it all. A bond that will let no one deny it, a bond that defies everything logical.
“Would it be so awful if it wasn’t just hormones?
” I ask, finding myself leaning closer to her.
We sat side-by-side, but now… her arm is dangerously close to mine.
I make one more move, lean over just a hair more, our arms would touch, brush against each other.
“Would it really be so awful if there was more to it?”
“But you said—”
“I was trying to make you feel better. You shouldn’t be ashamed of anything. Hormones are an easy way out. The real difficult thing to face is that, maybe, it’s not just hormones. It’s something more. Deeper.”
My arm brushes against hers. Guess I leaned closer without realizing it. Oops.
But also, not oops.
“Kayla,” I whisper her name so softly, more gently than I’ve ever spoken another word in my life.
“When I first met you, I knew there was something. It was confusing at first, because you said you were a beta, but now that I know you’re an omega…
I know what that initial feeling was. There’s a bond between us, something neither of us can fight.
The longer we try, the harder it’ll be. Fate brought us together, and I’m not going to let anyone or anything tear us apart—and if, somehow, someway, Bradford is a part of that equation, then so be it. ”
I literally cannot believe I just had that thought, and I can’t believe I actually said it out loud to her. She probably thinks I’m crazy.
Only she’s not looking at me like she thinks I’ve lost my mind. She doesn’t open her mouth to argue with me and tell me that I’m insane for suggesting such a thing. The way she looks at me, the expression on her face; it’s one of acceptance, of truth.
“Why hide the fact you’re an alpha?” This question she whispers out, as if she doesn’t want anyone else to hear. Bradford isn’t around, but I can appreciate the sentiment.
“I’ll tell you someday, but for now, let me do the worrying, okay?” I lean even closer to her, resting my head against hers. Though her hair is in the way, I can inhale her scent just as well here as I could if my nose was buried in the crook of that neck.
God, she smells amazing. The kind of scent songs are written about, movies are made of.
Her scent is the kind of scent that touches every single part of you, giving you a buzz no amount of alcohol or drugs ever could—not that I’m overly familiar with either, but there’s no way anything in the world could be better than this.
Kayla shifts her position ever so slightly, angling her face away from me and exposing her neck in a submissive gesture, a gesture I imagine is the one that freaked Bradford out.
Me? The moment she gives me that neck, the only thing I do is dip my head against her and run my nose against the skin in the crook.
Gently so that I don’t irritate the bruise there, of course, but enough so that I can get high off her scent.
She is delicious. Rose highlighted by warm almonds, a surprising combination that mixes and mingles together to form something new, something perfect.
Kayla.
I bring my hand to the other side of her face, and she exhales softly when I cup her cheek, easing herself into the touch with a sigh of relief. Bradford might have freaked out and denied her, but I can do no such thing.
Being this close to her just feels right. There’s no other way to explain it. It’s like I’m finally coming home after a long journey when I never knew I left. It ignites every part of me, kickstarts my heart, and makes the blood flow faster in my veins.
“Oh, Kayla,” I breathe out her name in a slow whisper, taking the time to taste that name of hers on my tongue. “You’re driving me mad.” Mad to the point where I would do anything for her; all she has to do is ask.
Ask me for the world, and I’d give it. Ask me for my heart, and I’d already have it laying bare for her on a silver platter while hoping she doesn’t destroy me.
And if she does? If she decides she doesn’t want me, doesn’t want this? I’d lose my mind. I’d probably die of a broken heart, but if it means she’d find her happiness somewhere else, then I’d die knowing I helped lead her to her chance at life.
Maybe it’s the alpha in me, but I don’t think she’s going to deny me. Like I said, that bond is undeniable. Futile to resist. It’s a bond only an alpha and an omega could know and recognize, a bond between mates.
Kayla lets out a breathless sigh, slowly moving her body so she’s angled toward me.
Her hands lift, her fingers curling into the fabric of my shirt seconds later as she clings to me.
She somehow winds up damn near in my lap, and all the while my face remains buried against her neck while I get high off her delicious scent.
Her skin is soft, but when I brush my mouth over her scent gland, I can feel her grow hotter. She whines against me, slow in turning her face toward mine. Only then do I lift my nose from her neck, instead leaning my forehead against hers.
We breathe each other’s air as we hold onto the other. We’re entangled, and yet there’s still too much damn room between us. Too many layers of clothing. Just too much in general, and at the same time, not nearly enough.
“Hayden,” she murmurs, “I—”
I don’t know what she planned on saying after that, and it doesn’t matter.
Not really. I press my mouth against hers, claiming those lips in the way I’ve wanted to ever since I first met her.
All the worry, all the anxiety, all of the unknowns; none of it matters now that I have her in my arms, her lips on mine.
And those lips? The softest fucking lips in the world, plump pillows welcoming every push and pull as our mouths collide. Kayla moans into the kiss, angling her head back and thereby allowing me to deepen the kiss.
It’s all soft and tentative at first, for I don’t know if she’s ready, if she needs this as badly as I do, but after a while, it becomes clear she’s not going to push me away, and that’s when I begin to kiss her more deeply, showing her the raging fire she ignites inside me.
She tastes as good as she smells. I never want to know a day when I don’t feel her lips on mine. They fit against mine perfectly, a piece of me I never knew I was missing. With her I can be whole.
I don’t know how long we sit there, exploring each other’s mouths as we cling to one another, but by the time we’re done, we’re both out of breath and panting hard.
She has her hands flat on my chest as she gazes up at me. “Was that… a good kiss? I’ve never—” She stops herself from outright admitting it, even though it’s far too late to hide something like that.
Her first kiss? Not going to lie, it feels pretty damn good to have claimed one of her firsts—and after a second or two, I realize that means she has a whole host of other firsts ready to claim, too. Good thing I’m ready to stand at attention whenever she wants me.
I give her a smile as I smooth her hair down.
“It was better than good. It was amazing. Was it as great for you as it was for me?” I don’t tell her this, but it was so great I’m sporting a bit of a hard-on right now.
It’s a good thing she doesn’t drape over my lap in that particular area, otherwise there’d be no hiding it.
She makes me feel like I’m a man starved, someone who’s walked through the desert and has finally found the oasis he’s been searching for his entire life. I plan on drinking from her well, drowning myself in her, and never knowing a day of hardship ever again.
Kayla bites her bottom lip, and she slowly disentangles herself from me as she says quietly, “Yes. It was.” Then she groans. “That’s so embarrassing. You must think I’m so sheltered.”
Sheltered isn’t the word I’d use to describe her, not when I now know her situation.
“No,” I say, putting my whole heart behind it.
“And it’s not embarrassing. You’re not used to these things because you’ve denied your nature for so long.
It’s all natural. Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. ”
“I guess. When you put it like that, it makes sense. Still, it makes me wonder… what happens next? I mean, I can’t live here forever. Sooner or later I’m going to have to go home, and when I do—”
“When you do, I’ll be right beside you. You don’t have to worry about doing anything yourself. Whoever hurt you, I won’t let them lay another finger on you. That’s a promise.”