Chapter Twenty-Five – Bradford #2
Hayden eats, but he mainly watches her. “What’s your plan for the day? Got any special things you want to do?”
“No,” she says. “Maybe watch more movies. It was kind of fun hanging out like that. I’ve never done anything like that before.” She hurriedly eats the eggs I gave her, as if she’s afraid someone is going to take the plate away.
“Do you want something else for breakfast?” I ask.
Kayla perks up as she thinks it over. “Pancakes? With chocolate?” She really can’t get away from the chocolate craving, can she?
Hayden finishes his eggs, and then he abandons his plate to return to the stove. He takes the pan and goes to the sink to wash it off, apparently ready to make her pancakes. While he’s doing that, I find everything he’ll need: the mix, and a bag of chocolate chips that might have seen better days.
I mean, that stuff doesn’t expire, does it? I’ve never had to worry about something like that before.
While he cooks her the pancakes, I take to watching her. She fiddles with her hands a lot. She can’t sit still while she waits. She’s a bubble of energy, and I can’t say I’ve ever seen her like this before. I figured it’d happen quickly, but I had no idea it’d happen this quickly.
Is her body truly ready to experience a heat and everything that comes along with it? From all the research I’ve done, it’s quite taxing on the body, which is why an omega who’s not adequately nourished doesn’t have them.
And even if her body is ready… is she? Is she mentally prepared for it? I want nothing more than to ask her, but at the same time, I need to keep reminding myself that I’m not the one who will be there for her during it.
Hayden will.
Once the pancakes are done, chocolate and all, Kayla cuts into them, acting starved, like she didn’t just eat almost two portions of scrambled eggs.
She shovels the pancakes into her mouth, hardly chewing them before she swallows, and the only thing Hayden and I can seem to do is watch to make sure she doesn’t choke.
“Slow down,” Hayden jokes, but she doesn’t. “It’s not a contest.”
“I know,” she says with her mouth full, her cheeks packed with food, making her look like a chipmunk.
“I’m just so hungry.” She whines that last part out as her shoulders slump, and she frowns ever so slightly.
“I’m so hungry and none of this feels like it’s enough.
” The way she says that, it really does sound as if she’s going to burst into tears at any given moment.
Shit. She’s definitely approaching a heat. This kind of emotional rollercoaster is yet another sign.
I’ve never dealt with an omega in heat before, but the past few days I’ve done a lot of research, so I know what I’m looking for and what has to be done. The hunger, the cravings, the emotional whiplash; all signs of an impending heat.
Kayla finishes her plate of chocolate chip pancakes and chugs the rest of her water. When she lets out a whine because her glass is empty, Hayden leaps to take care of it. He refills the glass and brings it back to her, catering to her every want, as he should.
As I should. I’d like to. I want to. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.
It takes a lot out of me to not stare at her mouth, at those lips, to not close my eyes and lose myself to the rose-tinted scent filling the kitchen.
She’s driving me out of my mind, and the thing is, I don’t know why.
I’ve met countless omegas in the past, omegas from blue-blooded families like mine—omegas who would have gladly become mine.
What makes her so different? Why is she making me feel so goddamn weak and confused? I thought I was closed-off from all omega-kind, but she… she’s different.
After breakfast, Kayla wants to go upstairs—to her nest, basically—and watch more movies like we did yesterday.
I’m hesitant to join them, because I don’t know how much longer until more signals of her heat arrive, but when I try to act like I should get some work done, the look she gives me makes me crumble like the softest cookie around.
So the three of us go upstairs. I take the couch, while Hayden and Kayla sit in the middle of her nest. Hayden thought to bring up some drinks: water bottles, pop cans, even an energy drink, although I think the latter is for him and not for her.
The morning wears on, and her scent gets stronger.
So strong it ignites something inside me, and I have to cross my legs to hide the inevitable erection.
I might not have experience dealing with an omega about to go into heat, but my body reacts as any alpha’s would.
I don’t need to see Hayden’s crotch to know he’s sporting one, too.
By some miracle, the three of us make it to lunch.
I order from the nearest fast food chain—it’s not really close, but I don’t think Hayden is willing to leave this house now that Kayla is clearly approaching her heat.
Fatty food. Not really nutritious, but seeing as how her body is still so thin, I think she could use some unhealthy foods to fatten her up.
The extra calories will be needed by her body very soon.
By the time the food arrives and I bring it all upstairs, Kayla is complaining she’s hot. She pulls at the neckline of the pajamas she wears and mutters, “Is the heat on in this house? Why is it so freaking hot? I feel like I’m going to explode.”
I set the bag down near them, exchanging a lingering look with Hayden as I do so.
He knows what to do, to try to get one last meal in her before the point of no return is crossed and food becomes the last thing on her mind.
Grabbing the bag, he pulls out a case of chicken nuggets and some fries, setting them in front of her and saying, “Maybe eating will help. Come on, let’s have lunch. ”
“I don’t want lunch,” she pouts, pursing her lips together.
“But you should eat it anyway,” Hayden tells her.
“He’s right,” I say. “Try to eat it. It might make you feel better.”
Hayden opens the nugget container for her, making it easy, and she huffs and puffs, acting like she’s going to keep arguing about not wanting to eat. With a frown that’s almost too exaggerated, she snatches up one of the nuggets and bites into it viciously.
“Do you want ketchup or anything?” I ask, standing near them.
All Kayla does is shake her head and finish eating that nugget.
The look on her face makes it out like she’s plotting both our demises.
How dare we make her eat more? How dare we try to take care of her, more like.
She’s clearly oblivious to the symptoms she’s displaying.
I bet her heat will arrive and she won’t even know it until it’s over and done with.
“Hayden,” I say, once I’m certain she’ll continue eating on her own, “can I speak with you for a moment?”
Hayden gets up and follows me into the nearby hall. I stop only when I’m sure there’s enough distance between us and Kayla, so she won’t overhear what I’m about to say. Still, I know what I have to say, but as I stand there, I can’t say it.
The man before me eyes me up. “What is it? We should really get back in there with her. It’s definitely coming on fast, much faster than I anticipated, but I’m sure we can handle it—” Even now, he says the word we, as if we’re a team.
We’re not. We can’t be.
“You’ll handle it yourself,” I say.
“Oh, come on. I thought we were past this crap.”
“It’s not crap—”
“It is. I’m sorry, but it is. Look, I’m sorry about whatever happened to you in the past. I’m not stupid; I know you’ve been through some shit.
I don’t know what all you’ve been through in your life, but are you really going to let whatever it is dictate what you do with yourself for the rest of your life?
Are you going to let it stop you from being there for Kayla when she clearly needs us both? ”
I have to admit, I’m taken aback by everything he said, mostly because he isn’t wrong. He’s right, and that’s what makes this so damn tough. “It’s not that I don’t want to—I do—but I can’t. It’s not something you could ever understand.”
He takes a step closer to me. “Then help me understand. Tell me what’s so bad about you being there for her.
Okay, sure, it’s not easy for you. You don’t like touching people.
I get that. Haven’t you ever thought that, maybe, the best things in this world are the ones you have to fight for?
The things that don’t come easy? Not everyone is handed everything on a silver platter. If you want her, then fight for her.”
Getting lectured by Hayden wasn’t on my list of things to do today, and yet as much as I don’t appreciate his tone, he’s not wrong. It’s the only reason I don’t correct him.
The best things in this world are the things you have to fight for.
Something like that sounds like it came straight out of a fortune cookie, something that’s been said time and time again.
I don’t doubt Kayla is one of those things, the absolute best thing that could possibly happen to any man, but it doesn’t change the fact she’d be far happier with someone like Hayden, not someone like me.
With a slight shake of my head, I say, “You’ll go back in there, and you’ll do whatever you have to, whatever she wants you to. I will not. I’ll stick to downstairs.” Nothing he can say or do right now will change my mind.
I want to go back in there, of course I do, but at the same time… I can’t.
“Bradford—”
“No, my decision is made.” I don’t say anything else. Lingering there with him would only give him the chance to persuade me again, so I figure it’s better not to waste any more of our time. I turn away from him and leave, heading downstairs, and thankfully he does not follow.
He’ll go back to Kayla and be there for her when I can’t. I don’t doubt it’s easier for an omega to get through her heat with more than one cock at her disposal, but they’ll get the hang of it. They’ll do it all without me.
Without me, as they should be. This strange camaraderie between Hayden and I is unnatural. We aren’t a pack. They might be in my house, but that’s it. I’m supplying them with a roof and walls. I’m the boss, not a friend, and definitely not a lover.
I could never be a lover or a pack leader. Pack leaders are strong, undamaged, confident in their abilities, AKA everything I’m not. Maybe I could’ve been, if I was born to a different family.
Then again, if I was born to a different family, I never would have met Kayla, and I don’t know if it’s worth the trade-off. Meeting her and not having her is better than never meeting her at all.
Hayden was right, but he was also wrong. The best things are worth fighting for, yes, and those things don’t tend to be easy to attain.
Staying away from her right now? It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.