Chapter 4
four
Xenia
Changed, washed, and refreshed, I sit on the couch. My chin resting on my knees as my heart pumps loudly into my ears. My gaze is focused on the wall.
A door opening and closing on the other side has me tensing further. Part of me wants to jump up and run, to dive and hide in my nest, but I don’t.
“Hello?” The word is sultry with a slight country drawl as it washes towards me.
Even with the wall between us, the alpha’s voice is gruff but with a soft warmth to it.
It’s silent for several beats.
“Hello? Are you there, Little Omega?” There is an edge of an unknown inflection in his tone.
It leaves me annoyed, and I huff out, “I’m here. I’m not little.”
A deep toe-curling chuckle vibrates towards me. In a trance, I shakily get up from the couch and walk towards the wall that separates us.
My hand comes up to touch it, but I pull it back.
“Have you done this before?” I ask.
There’s rustling followed by footsteps. When the alpha speaks again, I can tell he is just on the other side of the wall.
“Not for a long time,” he advises.
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Aren’t you young?”
He doesn’t answer for several tense beats, and I am nearly afraid I have managed to offend him. Just as I accept that I might need to request a new alpha, he speaks again.
“Is this your first time with an alpha?”
Shutting my eyes, I fall to the floor carefully, leaning back against the wall connecting us. “No.” I hope he can’t hear the weight of that singular word. “But it’s my first time here.”
A loud sigh of relief comes from the other side. “That’s good to hear. What brings you here little—" He cuts himself off. “What should I call you?”
My mind races. I don’t want this alpha to come looking for me after this, but I also don’t want to fuck a man who doesn’t even know who I am. “You can call me Nia. What can I call you?”
It's his turn to pause.
“Lu—ck. You can call me Luck.”
My head leans back against the soft wall, my fingers dig into the rug below me, grounding me in place.
Since walking into this building, I have been on the cusp of a mental breakdown. Here in this room, the sensation has only intensified.
With my eyes closed, it’s easy to pretend he’s speaking directly to me. I try to imagine what he might look like, but I can barely fathom it. In my mind, he takes on a shadowy form, dark and mysterious. Both intimidating and comforting.
“May I ask you a few questions?” I murmur. My instincts are pushing me to know this man better, to balance on the line of anonymous and familiar.
“Yes, Nia.” The nickname is a purr as it reaches me.
My entire body relaxes, and I involuntarily release a relieved mewl. Gathering my wits and leaning back further into the wall, I open my mouth before shutting it a few times. “Do you have a pack?”
He chokes out a cough. “I’m not sure why that caught me off guard. Yes, I have a pack.”
“Then why are you here?” I don’t hesitate with this question.
Does he have an omega at home?
“Apologies for the confusion, but my pack does not yet have an omega. The three of us in our pack have agreed to live our own lives individually as best we can, until that point.”
Rolling my lip between my teeth, I mull over his words. He didn’t have to explain anything, and while it does make me more comfortable to know I am not infiltrating a complete pack, it leaves me wary nonetheless. “Do they know that you’re here?”
“You are asking the difficult questions. But answer me one first. If you have been with an alpha before, why are you not with him now?” His tone is challenging.
It is apparent my question strikes a nerve as he attempts to shift gears. I debate telling him a lie, but settle on the truth. “He died.”
He didn’t expect that. Even through the wall I can feel the energy shift.
“My sister lost her entire pack.” Luck’s tone is guttural, lathered in painful emotion. “I understand why you are here. Allow me to take care of you. To make this as easy as I can for you, Little Omega.”
I open my mouth to respond but a stabbing pain hits me in the abdomen, and I roll forward, a whine leaving me instead.
“Omega?! Are you okay? What’s going on?” The country drawl is more prevalent now, as if it was held at bay until his concern allowed it to seep out.
“I’m running out of time.” I sob softly as I lay in the fetal position on the ground. Tears form in my eyes but I don’t dare wipe them away. “I pushed my heat off for too long.”
“How long?” He bites the words.
“A year,” I answer without hesitation. Instinctually, I have decided to trust this man.
He growls at the response. “This is going to be hard for you. But I promise you Nia, I will take care of you. I will ensure that you make it through this. Your life is not over.”
My body tenses as licks of fire spread out from my insides, this is nothing like heats I have had in the past. This one is violent as if it is being forced out of me. “What happened to your sister?” I choke out.
He doesn’t answer immediately. “Your story is not the same.”
The agony my body is being wrung through is only overshadowed now by the eeriness of his words. “What. Happened. Please. Tell me.”
Now that I have asked him the question, I need more than anything to know.
To hear a story that doesn’t end in misery.
To give hope to this situation. Most omegas can’t mentally take the loss of their pack.
Can’t survive their first heat without them.
It is too painful. They allow their bodies to deteriorate and never truly recover, but there are others who choose a different route.
A quick and painless death on their own terms.
“She… She died. But—they were mated. It was different.”
I don’t answer, instead my fingers go up to my mark. The one Tony left on me that bound us together. “Sure,” I say weakly as my vision clouds.
The tears fall freely as I wrap myself into a tighter ball on the floor. I want desperately for this to just go away. To return to Tony’s arms. To wake up and come to from this year-long nightmare.
It is too much. Unbearable. I decide to tell this poor alpha the truth. He deserves to truly understand what he is getting into.
“I was mated too.”
He curses under his breath before I feel his aura shift. “That doesn’t matter. You are not the same.”
“How are we any different?” My voice cracks as my mind deteriorates around the pain that is quickly evolving into something else entirely.
“You have me.”