Chapter 4 #3
“Uh…” Benson blinks at me; all that sexy bravado that had been there a second ago is gone as he tilts his head like he can’t tell what he’s looking at. “You want me to kiss you. Now?”
“Yes.” I nod, but the longer I look at him, the less sure I am. He’s the one who said this needs to look real and that he’s attracted to me. If he rejects me here, I don’t know what I’ll do. He’ll have to kiss me for this to look real…
“I mean, we don’t have to kiss, I guess, but you said the best way to make this look real is for it to be as real as possible.
I think everyone will at least expect kisses.
I’m just worried that every time you touch me I’m going to get all flustered and nervous, like I did then.
No one will believe we’re lovers if I can’t even handle you looking at me. ”
“Lovers…” he says, watching me as I start pacing again. His reaction is making me fucking nervous. Maybe he lied, and he’s just messing with me? Or does he think I’m joking?
Shit. Shit, fucking shit…
“But if we kiss when we’re alone and act like a real couple, I won’t be so uptight every time we’re close.
It will look more natural when we’re around everyone else,” I quickly explain, feeling a little silly as I say the words aloud.
Oh well, it’s too late to take them back now.
“Like friends with benefits?” I add, feeling more and more unsure the longer he stares at me.
What the hell did he mean by making it as real as possible, if not this?
“This way you get girlfriend benefits, and I get the boyfriend benefits I need to scare off Kai without leading someone on. Boyfriend and girlfriend perks, but no strings,” I say, pausing my pacing to look over at him and trying really hard not to think too much about the fucking insanity that’s coming out of my mouth.
As he continues to stand there silently, my nerves go into overdrive. Fuck, am I scaring him away by asking for a kiss? Or was it the friends-with-benefits offer? Or am I making things move too fast? Does he think I’m being too clingy already? How do I fix this!?
“Or not? I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.
You said you were attracted to me, and you’ve been flirting with me.
You did say you’d knot me right now if I said yes, but maybe I’m jumping to conclusions?
What did I say that threw you off?” I ask, desperate to fill his silence with a solution.
“You… I mean…” Benson stumbles over his words, blushing, and his scent spikes with so much desire I nearly choke on it.
My cheeks burn pink when it causes slick to pool between my thighs, something that only turns Benson into a bigger puddle of alpha confusion when he scents me in return.
It’s actually cute as hell, and hopefully a good sign.
Maybe he’s just easily flustered, not trying to think of a way to gently turn me down?
“Instead of trying to make this look real while ignoring the chemistry between us, we should test it out. Make sure we can really do this.”
After a long pause where I’m convinced he’s about to reject me, he finally speaks.
“Of course. Yes. I mean, yes, we should kiss. I’m just…
I’ve been working all morning.” He gestures to himself, so I glance up and down his body, not seeing the problem.
“Sorry. When you asked for a kiss, it caught me off guard, and then you just kept talking. I was still processing the first thing you said, and… Well, sorry,” he explains, and I wince.
“My bad.”
“I agree with you about everything, though. To make it look real in public, it needs to be real in private too.” Benson nods, and I let out a sigh of relief.
“Are you saying yes, or should I beg some more?” I ask, making him smirk.
“I don’t know. Let me see some begging…” He lifts one brow, watching me like he knows I won’t do it.
But fuck it. I’ll beg for this.
I know if I don’t have a wall of muscle to hide behind, it’ll be too easy for Kai to suck me right back into his orbit.
He was my first love, my first everything.
Something like that doesn’t just disappear, even after a heartbreak.
It only means I’ve built a wall around my heart that I’m too scared to take down for anyone, especially the man who made me put it there in the first place.
That doesn’t mean it can’t be bulldozed. Kai used to know everything about me. If there’s a wall around my heart, then Kai is a fucking wrecking ball, and I’m going to fight like hell to keep him far, far away.
So, I take Benson’s hand in both of mine and look up into his bluish-green eyes, pouting.
“Please, do this for me, Benson. I promise not to get attached. I’m not going to turn into a psycho stalker, and the second Kai goes back to the city, I’ll never ask you to do something like this again.
Please, be my fake boyfriend. Please,” I beg him, batting my lashes at the man while clinging to his hand for dear life, afraid he’ll pull away and leave me to face my wrecking ball of an ex alone.
“Alright, Plum.” Benson nods, taking a deep breath as he squeezes my hand back. “I’ll do whatever you need.” His tone is so gentle and not at all teasing. It surprises me.
Once his words click in my head, though, I immediately freak out.
“Oh my fucking god! Thank you!” I squeal, leaping into his arms and hugging him so tightly I think I hear him struggling for air.
It’s the closest I’ve been to a man in a very long time, and I’m about to push away from him but fight off the urge to retreat with a mental stick.
I need to get used to showing him physical affection now.
“You’re welcome, omega,” he grunts, hugging me back.
“Seriously,” I say as I finally release him, dropping to my feet and taking a step back. “You should come over so we can talk about this more. Are you free tomorrow night?”
“Sure,” he nods.
“Great. If you give me your phone, I can text you my address, and then you’ll have my number as well,” I offer, holding my hand out for it. He gives it up without any protest, and I enter my number and send myself a text so I have his to send the address to.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sugarplum,” he murmurs, his cocky smirk returning as he takes his phone back. He looks me up and down one last time, then turns back to the goat pen he was fixing when I arrived.
“See you then!” I reply, practically skipping away. I’m grinning like a madwoman when I turn to head back toward the front of the farm.
At least, I am until I see Nick.
He’s watching me with wide, confused eyes. How much of that interaction did he witness? When he snaps his attention to Benson, then back to me, I blush. He saw enough, clearly. I wonder what’s going through his head after seeing that.
Nick has known the entire time I’ve had a crush on him.
There’s no way he couldn’t have known, considering I’ve made it horribly obvious and he’s rejected me every chance he’s gotten.
It was expected. Predictable. He rarely went off script, and even then, it was brief.
So, right now, as he looks at me like he’s not sure what he’s seeing, I don’t know how to act.
I’m certainly not going to march over there and flirt with the man the way I usually would, not after the conversation I just had with Benson.
Especially not when he’s one of the many people we need to convince that this relationship is real.
Besides, he’s probably just concerned about his brother getting involved with an omega like me.
That frown isn’t jealousy at all. It can’t be. He doesn’t want me.
I’ve known him for a long time, but that doesn’t mean I know him or what that look on his face really means…
NICK
With Halloween over, I have to get the farm ready for not only Christmas but also my baby sister's wedding.
Which means I need to get the decorations from this year stored away.
Easier said than done. I shove another spiderweb into an already overstuffed crate and then stomp the lid until it clicks shut.
We’re getting the Christmas Village running one week earlier than normal. The weekend of the twentieth of December is the wedding, which means the last day of the Christmas Village is going to be the fifteenth.
I’ve spent most of my adult life doing all of this alone, but I’m having to rely on Benson more every year as the farm expands.
He’s a hard worker, but the farm isn’t his passion. He’s a baker. Which is great this time of year, because we sell out of his pies every weekend, but it doesn’t help me get chores done or set things up for the coming weeks. We have less than two weeks left until the Christmas Village opens.
Thankfully, the pumpkin patch did so well this year that we’re able to hire help for December.
We’ll need the extra hands once my sister arrives.
She’s got a lot planned, on top of our already busy holiday schedule.
The application process is time-consuming and a pain in my ass, though, so my brother, Rhian, is handling it.
Tomorrow morning, I’m heading to the tree farm to pick out the Christmas trees we’ll need, and after, I’m planning to ask Plum if she wants to stock her ornaments in our shop. I should’ve asked her last year, but I didn’t.
She’s been getting more flirtatious lately, and it’s distracting as hell. Can’t say I don’t enjoy it, though. She sure has a way with words. I smirk, just thinking about some of her most used one-liners.
“Are you a teacher? Because I’d let you give me a few lessons.”
I’m distracted by thoughts of Plum as I walk out the barn doors, doing a double take when I find a certain white-haired omega wrapped in Benson’s arms. I don’t know why the sight has my chest tightening.
Why is he holding her like that? Why is my little brother burying his face in Plum’s hair? And why does she look so damn excited about it? They must be saying their goodbyes, since she’s turning to face me as he returns to the broken post.
The joy lighting up her beautiful face is wiped clean when she sees me watching her. I glance from her to my brother and back again. What’s happening? The shock of seeing me wears off as she drops her gaze to the ground and hustles toward the exit.
I really don’t have time to try and figure out why my chest aches as she walks away from me without even waving hello. The last time I saw her flashes through my mind.
“When are you going to give me a ride?” she asks, biting that perfect bottom lip, making my cock ache.
“A ride?” I ask, confused. What’s she need a ride for?
“In your lap, silly.” She winks, blowing me a kiss before skipping away like she didn’t just fucking say that. I watch the way her hips sway, leaving the scent of her peppermint desire in her wake.
“Fuck,” I grumble, not prepared for the way the memory heats my veins and sends my heart racing or the way my eyes lock onto her ass in that damn dress.
Has she finally given up on me?
I thought she liked the way I resisted her.
I thought it’s what she wanted, this flirting game with our expected roles and unspoken rules.
I guess I always assumed she’d tell me when she was ready for more.
She was only twenty when she first started flirting with me.
Her eyes lit up when I told her I wasn’t going to fuck her, like maybe that’s exactly what she wanted to hear.
But fuck, I wanted to.
Only, she was fresh out of a serious relationship, and I wasn’t in the best place emotionally to be a good alpha to an omega like Plum.
Plus, I’m ten years older than her. I didn’t think she should settle down so young, and there was no chance in hell I was going to be able to fuck her once and then walk away.
Then I realized that refusing her advances really was what she wanted. Her ex did a number on her, and she needed a safe place to express her desire. I thought I gave that to her, but did I completely fuck this all up by going along with this?
Shit, maybe I should have made it clear that I wanted her. That I was just waiting for her to be ready.
Has she moved on to Benson? I know he’d make her happy, that he’d treat her right. But would he drive her fucking wild? Could he bring out that other side of her? The one that makes her come to life as she fights with an alpha twice her size?
Fuck, I can’t dwell on this right now. I don’t have time.
I shake off all thoughts of pretty little omegas and get back to work. I have too much to do to be distracted now. I just never thought she would give up on me. I always believed she’d give in when she was ready. Fuck, am I an idiot? Was it all one-sided? Maybe she never wanted me at all.
Why the fuck did I think she’d ask me to give in to her one day?
As the day passes by in a blur, all my thoughts lead back to Plum. They often do, but it’s different this time. Part of me is terrified I waited too long, and now she’s slipping away from me forever.
All I saw was a damn hug. One hug, and my thoughts are spiraling. I haven’t seen her hug another unmated alpha before, but if Benson and Plum were a thing, he would never shut the hell up about it. She’s an incredible omega, and he’s a yapper.
Maybe I’m overthinking everything. Tomorrow morning I’ll just ask her…
No, that would be too fucking obvious. If I’m reading too much into one fucking hug, then I might scare her off.
Yet, if I don’t make what I want clear, if I don’t show her that I desire her, then I might never get the chance after tomorrow.
Not if she’s really starting something with my brother.
Even well into the evening and night, I still can’t stop thinking about Plum. What if she doesn’t want me anymore?
What if she never did?