Chapter 16 #2
“Yes, badly.” He swallows thickly, breaking eye contact to glance up at the frying pan still clutched in my fist. “Not like that, though. I want to feel something… Just not a concussion.” His teasing makes me smile, but I know he’s trying to hide from the tension his confession created.
“It’s not about what you want, Kai. It’s about what Plum wants.
When she decides to punish you, she will,” Benson says firmly, pulling me back against his chest and wrapping his arms around me.
The heat of his bare chest burns through the thin fabric of my Christmas pajamas.
The candy cane print lounge shorts and crop top aren’t enough of a defense against this alpha’s charms.
“I don’t want to punish you.” I trip over the word, nibbling my bottom lip, and Kai’s eyes go wide.
His cedar scent floods us with a hint of fear and anxiety. He looks unsure, like I’m about to kick him out or send him away. Maybe he’s scared I’ll let him stay, then refuse to give him what he thinks he needs, and it’ll be worse for him. Seeing me with Benson and Nick—watching me move on.
Would that be worse? Leaving him in limbo, never letting him back into my heart, but never letting him atone for the pain he caused?
“What I mean is, calling it a punishment makes me uncomfortable. Like you’re a disobedient pet, or something.” I shake my head.
“I can be your pet.” Kai grins, taking the pan from my hand and setting it back down.
“Kai.” I tip my chin down, giving him an unamused look.
“Sweet Plum,” he murmurs, flashing those damn dimples.
“Maybe they should gag you,” I huff, turning away from him and looking up at Nick for some kind of guidance here, or maybe just reassurance that I haven’t lost my fucking mind.
“Think of it like restitution, or penance, not punishment… Atonement,” Kai says, that begging tone from Friday morning returning. “Please.” The soft-spoken word sends a shiver across my skin. There’s something that’s been bugging me though, and I need to know why he did it.
“Is that what your donation was? Reparations for breaking my heart?” I ask, voice barely above a whisper.
“No.” Kai shakes his head, frowning. “I never wanted you to know that was me.”
“But I do know.”
“I did it because it was your dream, and I could make it come true. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to use it to get you back.
I wasn’t. It was meant to be a secret gift.
Just something I knew would make you happy, even if it wasn’t for you or from you.
It was something I’ve known I would do since I was fifteen.
” There’s a look of desperation in his eyes as he explains himself, like he’s genuinely worried I’ll think he’s lying.
I don’t know what sways me. Maybe he’s confirming what I already knew, or maybe it's the look on his face. So open. So sad and scared.
So sincere.
“Okay.” I nod, watching him deflate a little, his shoulders slumping. When I look up at Benson, he’s grinning at me.
Is this one of those moments where the alpha knows what I need before I do?
“Will you tie him up for me? In Nick’s room. Make sure he has a clear view of the bed. And make sure you do something about his mouth.” My words make Kai gasp, but his scent of balsams and cedar fills the area around us with desire.
We’re about to find out how far Kai is willing to let me take this before he taps out. Because after that confession, I’m so full of emotion I feel like I’m going to explode. I need a release.
I need an outlet. I need to feel something else, and I need these alphas.
“You three go. I’ll meet you up there after I finish this. I’ll save it for when you’re…finished,” Nick says to us, smirking. Apparently, he knows exactly what I need too. My body tingles with butterflies and nerves as I suck in a sharp breath.
Benson releases me and kisses my forehead before grabbing Kai by the elbow to drag him away. The beta doesn’t resist in the least. In fact, he looks relieved.
“Let's go, City Boy. You heard the Omega.” Benson uses his alpha bark on Kai, though he doesn’t need to. The sound of it does something to me though, and I bite my bottom lip as I watch them go.
Once I’m alone with Nick, I lean into him, wrapping my arms around his waist.
“Is this okay?” I ask against his bare chest. “You can tell me no. I don’t want either of you doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
“Of course it’s okay. Hell, it was mostly our idea.” Nick chuckles, rubbing my back soothingly. “If it’s what you need, then it’s what I need too. Whatever that looks like. Minus sword crossing.”
I frown, mouthing the words, ‘sword crossing.’ When I realize what he meant, my eyes go wide, and I jerk in his arms to look up at him.
“Kidding. The three of us only have eyes for you, Plum. Just wanted to lighten you up a little before you go upstairs. Let yourself go. Do what feels right. Follow your instincts.” Nick presses a kiss to the same spot Benson had and gives my ass a little spank before nudging me toward the door.