Chapter 37 Lia
Lia
The question slips out of me before I can stop it. “What do you mean?”
Walker looks like he didn’t expect a response so quickly. “I know things are moving quickly. I know we’ve all sort of… found ourselves in each other’s orbits. And don’t get me wrong, Eli, you have a lovely home—”
“H-hold on,” I stutter out.
My heart stops in my chest. I hate how my words sound so small. I hate how I feel so small. The whirlwind of everything that’s happened in the past three or so weeks slams against me with force.
His place at the vineyard is big enough for all of us.
He’s thinking about moving in together? Have we even established what it is we’re doing?
“Lia?” Eli asks.
It sounds like he’s trying to talk to me underwater.
“Just… give me a second,” I say.
I don’t like how breathless my voice sounds.
I hear Amber whisper, “Daddy, are we moving?”
Eli starts coughing and it makes me turn my head toward him. He’s dabbing at his lips with his napkin. Everything goes silent around me. I can feel Walker’s gaze burning a hole in the profile of my face.
“I’m sorry,” he offers.
“No, no,” I say as I shake my head, turning my attention back to him. “I just… didn’t realize something like that was being considered?”
“Me neither,” Knox says. “Though, I have to admit, it’s the first thing I thought when I saw Walker’s villa. That place has a lot of room.”
“It does,” Walker agrees. “Many generations of my family have been raised on that land. It’s not built for just one person.”
My palms grow sweaty. Nervousness shakes me to my core. All of this has been fun, sure. They’ve left their mark in my life, that’s for certain. But moving in together?
That’s such a big step.
All eyes are on me, and I hate that. It makes me think they’re all on the same page and they’re just waiting for me to catch up.
“Have you guys been talking about this or something?” I ask.
“No,” Eli says as he reaches behind Amber’s chair and rubs my shoulder. “But it’s not like we haven’t been considering what might happen if all of this stops being casual.”
Casual.
What we’ve been doing is casual?
Why does that word hurt?
“Lia,” Walker says as I feel his hand overtake mine beneath the table, “look at me.”
It’s not his command that makes me look at him, though. It’s the quivering of his hand. He’s shaking like a leaf, and that pulls my attention up to him.
My poor Alpha.
“I’m here,” I whisper softly.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. “Just… it’s a lot. Give me a moment to sit with it.”
“It’s not something I’ve discussed with anyone. I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that.”
“I mean, I like Walker’s place,” Amber says.
I can’t help but smile as I look over at her, watching her nestle into Eli’s side. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she says with a nod of her head. “Do you think Pickles would like it?”
He lets out a woof from underneath the table.
“Good boy,” Amber whispers as she reaches for him.
Pickles’ tail thumps against my foot.
I hold Walker’s trembling hand as we all sit there in silence. It’s no secret that all of them are waiting for my response. My heart squeezes. My pulse races. Am I ready for something like this?
Will I ever be ready for something like this?
“Just… keep talking,” I whisper. “The conversation is open. Let’s talk about it.”
“Are you sure?” Walker asks.
I look up at him, but I can’t make my voice any stronger. “Just talk. Let me be in my head for a moment.”
“Well,” Knox says as he leans forward, his forearms resting on the table, “Walker’s got a point with space. I clocked his villa at five bedrooms, right?”
Walker nods. “And that’s just the villa itself. The main vineyard building has living quarters on the second floor. My grandfather had it built for seasonal workers, but it could function as another living space.”
Amber perks up immediately. “Like little apartments?”
“Yes,” Walker says, and I can hear the smile in his voice as I lay my head on his shoulder, “like little apartments.”
“Daddy, can I live in a little apartment when I grow up?” Amber asks.
Eli chuckles. “Why don’t we take this one step at a time, princess.”
Yes.
One step at a time.
When did I stop taking things one step at a time?
While they all talk around me, my head buries me in so many thoughts. I think about how this all started: at the Blossom Festival, when I caught Walker’s scent on the wind.
In some ways, the world has been trying to shove us closer ever since.
I think about the tree through my apartment, and how quickly the three of them stepped up to make sure I understood that I had someone to call in case things got hairy. I think about how they left their numbers without pressuring me to do anything with them.
I think about the day I went bowling just to get out of that horrible studio apartment, only to find Eli and Amber at the same place.
Like fate kept intervening on my part.
All of the memories I’ve created over these last few weeks surface. Knox and me, watching the sun rise. Me and Eli, dancing in his kitchen. The group chats and the text messages. Them checking up on me to make sure I’m doing okay. Knox and his protectiveness when he saw the inside of my apartment.
The multitude of orgasms they’ve afforded me.
Not once have I had to beg for something I need. Not once did I need to justify my position on anything. With my prior pack, it was all, “I’m your Alpha and you’ll ask me before you do anything.” Or, “I’m your Alpha, and what I say goes.”
I was trapped with them. Trapped because I allowed my instincts to run haywire instead of thinking things through logically.
But I’m thinking now.
And the only thing I can focus on is how life keeps pushing me back into the orbit of these men.
“Look, it’s not like anything is set in stone,” Walker says as his voice pulls me out of my head, “I’m just saying that, should we make this pack official, I want the vineyard to belong to all of us.
However that shakes out is fine with me.
I’m just saying, I’ve got the room for a pack if this is what this becomes. ”
Those words settle heavily across the table. Everything falls silent around me, and it pulls my attention back to them. For a moment, no one speaks.
It’s the first time we’re addressing this idea that’s been permeating silently through our interactions.
I wait for the panic to wash over me. For my instincts to tell me to run. For logic to dictate that I need to get up from this table and walk away from whatever this is so that my life isn’t put at risk again by a reckless pack who wants nothing more than to rut and mark an Omega.
But the panic doesn’t come.
The fear doesn’t wash over me.
And I realize… not once have they been reckless.
Eager, sure. But never reckless.
My scent glands pulse. I can’t stop it. My scent blossoms around us as heat spreads through me, relaxing my muscles and my clamping hold on Walker’s hand.
My pack.
It never felt right, introducing my former Alphas as my pack. The words always got caught on the tip of my tongue. Lodged in my throat, like my body itself was preventing me from using the title.
“Pack,” I whisper softly.
My throat doesn’t try to stop the word.
“Could we build a tire swing?” Amber asks, piercing the silence.
Knox points at Amber. “Now you’re thinking.”
Walker’s chuckle makes my heart skip a beat. “Of course, little one.”
“I mean, I’m down for vineyard life,” Knox says. “Fixing things? Updating rooms? A hot tub on the back porch? Sign me up.”
Eli snickers. “You’re not far from the school. It wouldn’t tack on much to my morning commute.”
“And a slide?” Amber asks, her voice growing in excitement.
“We could build you an entire playground, if that’s what you’d like,” Walker says.
“Yesssss,” Amber says. Her fist juts into the air like she just won gold at the Olympics.
The warmth building inside of me takes a turn. It’s not just emotional any longer. It’s heavy, entwined. My pulse thunders in my ears. My bones feel like they have fire rushing through them. My scent glands pulse again, shooting another plume of my scent around us.
“Lia?” Knox asks.
“Daddy, is she okay?” Amber asks.
Their voices sound so far away.
Fuck.
My preheat is getting worse.
“I’m okay,” I murmur.
“No, you’re not,” Walker says as he stands. “You’re slurring your words. Come here.”
My body is rising as the words whisper from my lips. “Another pack. Wow.”
“Get her to a sink!” Knox exclaims.
Before my world tilts so hard that it brings the soup right back up my throat.