Chapter 39
Lia
Too soon.
The thought slams into me the moment Amber leaves my side.
It’s too soon.
My heat isn’t supposed to start yet. I should still have a few more days before it hits full force.
The one good thing that comes with my Alpha Rejection Syndrome is that the build is low and slow. It gives me time to prepare and work my schedule around things.
Ever since my ARS diagnosis, my cycle has always given me what I call “workaround time.” Heats don’t slam into me like other Omegas now, they slowly build until I’m so pissed off that I’m ready to get it over with.
This feels like being thrown into the deep end of a lake.
Voices murmur outside the bedroom door, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. My body is too loud. Time blurs together as my instincts claw at me, threatening to drag me under.
I hate feeling so out of control.
The first cramp hits low in my belly, and I whine into the pillow before I can stop myself. The ache twists through me, deep and pulsing, like something inside me is winding tighter and tighter.
I need a knot.
Heat floods my skin. My thighs press together instinctively, but it doesn’t help. Slick already drips between them, warm and viscous and humiliating as it soaks into Eli’s bed sheets beneath me.
Worst. Timing. Ever.
I want my nest. I need my nest. I ache to burrow into my blankets and toss them over my head. But when I think about heading back to that stupid apartment with that stupid air mattress, it only makes me angrier.
I don’t even have a nest. I haven’t settled shit with my renter’s insurance to even think about getting a bed for a nest.
How did I end up in this situation?
How did I allow myself to become so vulnerable so quickly?
Not good, not good, not—
I feel another cramp churning in my pelvis. My back bows as I roll onto my hands and knees, presenting myself to an empty room. My nostrils flare and their scents rocket up my nose.
Eli’s bright citrus mixed with Knox’s warm mocha. Walker’s deep, grounding scent of oak barrels and delicious, juicy grapes. The smells cling to the air around me, and my Omega instincts latch onto them immediately, drinking it all in like oxygen.
My teeth ache to bite into them.
The pulsing in my mouth takes me by surprise. My mouth waters, ready to stake my claim. Since when? Since when did my body start considering them my Alphas?
The cramp rips through me, shivering my thighs. My nostrils flare as I drink down another lungful of their scents. My thoughts blur. My body turns into liquid.
Over and over, I breathe them in as my hips fall to the bed. They grind against a pillow I’ve somehow stuffed in between my legs, trying to find the friction my body requires.
I need them.
I’m too scared to do this alone.
“My Alphas,” I whine out. “Please.”
Another cramp grips my stomach and I curl into myself with a soft cry. The door swings open and I hear all three of them rushing in, quickly surrounding me. The moment their scents grow stronger, my control shatters completely.
I don’t know much but I know one thing for certain.
They won’t hurt me.
“We’re here,” Eli says as he smooths his hand along my forehead. “Tell us what you need, Alley Cat.”
“Hey there,” Knox says. A hand begins massaging my lower back. “You hurting?”
“Help me,” I gasp out when another cramp rips through my body. “Please. It hurts so much. I don’t have a nest. I don’t—I need a—my blankets. I don’t—I don’t have anything—and I—”
“Shhh,” Walker hushes softly as I feel him cup my cheeks. “We’ve got you, Lia. You won’t do this alone if you don’t want to, okay? Knox.”
“Yep.”
“Gather all the blankets and pillows you can find in this place.”
His voice is low. Soothing. Even with his commands, it fills me with a softness that relaxes my hips.
The fog of my brain clears for a moment. “Amber. Where is she?”
“She’s fine,” Eli says as he dips into my vision, laying down beside me. “My parents just picked her up.”
Relief washes through me, even through the heat fog. “She’s safe?”
“Completely safe,” Eli promises. He smooths my sweaty hair off my forehead. “Pickles went with her, too. Can’t stand to be away from her, it seems.”
My shoulders relax at that. “Okay. Good, good.”
“I called my father,” Walker adds while he takes over the massaging of my lower back. “He’s heading to the vineyard to cover things for a few days.”
Knox dumps the first round of pillows and blankets onto the bed. “Called in a week with Ford, too. Just in case you need it, Sunshine.”
Their words settle over me slowly. They’ve stopped their lives for me, to take care of me. My chest tightens as another cramp ebbs back into my gut, and as the pain subsides, clarity slices through my haze like a ray of sun piercing through dark clouds.
The memory of my former pack flickers through my mind. The shouting, and the control. Being angry at them for marking me without my permission. Being angry at myself for working when I shouldn’t have been.
The cold realization that I never really belonged to them, that they just wanted an Omega to drag around like a trophy to their arrogance.
Can I do this again?
Can I allow Alphas to help me through my heat and trust that they won’t take advantage?
Fear brushes against my chest, but only for a moment. My body is turned until I’m on my back, and I find myself gazing up at Walker. He hovers over me, his thumb sliding aimlessly along my cheek.
I don’t even realize there’s a tear until he scoops it up.
“Nothing happens unless you say it happens, you got that?” he asks.
Knox fluffs a soft blanket over me. “Just because we’ve taken time off doesn’t mean you need to have us around. We’ll do whatever you need.”
Eli picks up one of my feet and presses his thumbs into my aching arches. “And if what you need is to get back to your apartment and curl up, then so be it.”
“No, please,” I whimper out. “I hate that place. Don’t make me go back.”
“Shh,” Walker hushes as he cups my cheek. “If you don’t want to be there, then you’re not there. End of story.”
“Okay.” I sniffle.
“We should get her cooled down, at the very least,” Knox says.
“No,” I whine. “No cold shower. Please. Bath. I want a bath. Hot, and steamy, and soapy. My inside is so cold, don’t make me take a cold shower.”
“One hot bath, coming right up,” Walker says. “Eli.”
“Already on it,” he says as he sets my foot back down. “Knox, go make her something cool to drink, in case she needs it while she’s soaking.”
“I’ll be back,” Knox says.
It’s a blur, wrangling me into that tub. All I know is that when I sink beneath the hot, soapy bubbles, a groan leaves my lips.
There’s ice-cold water inside of the straw my mouth is offered, and I gulp greedily while I allow myself to sink into the patchy timescape that is an Omega’s heat. When instincts stir, time has a tendency to blur, or fade in and out altogether.
All I know is that the hot bath feels phenomenal.
Everything blurs until I’m lifted from the tub. Walker says something about the water getting cold when I whine, and then there’s a plush towel draped around me. My hair is squeezed out. Someone’s putting lotion on my skin.
There’s more cool water, and I gulp it down with a selfishness that belies how much my instincts are raging.
My Omega side is itching to be freed.
By the time they guide me back to bed, there’s a nest on top of it. There’s a mound of blanket I burrow myself into, with pillows that smell like Knox has rubbed himself all over them.
I press my nose into the fabric and inhale until my lungs can no longer expand, drowning myself on his rainfall and mocha scent.
“There we go,” Walker says as he settles where my head pokes out. “Nice and easy.”
“If you wanna give me those feet, I can keep going,” Eli says as he perches at the end of the bed.
Knox’s hand slips inside the mound of blankets, finding my fingers. “I’m right here. Let me know if you need anything.”
Through Walker stroking my hair, Knox holding my hand, and Eli massaging my feet, I can’t battle against my instincts any longer. They’re aching to be set free, and I know I have to give in to them.
As much as I don’t want to admit it, it’s time. My heat is here, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
But this heat is different. It isn’t scary, like my other ones. It isn’t overwhelming, or threatening to smother me in emotions I can’t reconcile. I feel safe. Protected. Surrounded. Like no one could get to me, even if they tried.
I like that.
A lot.
They didn’t have to do this for me. I didn’t ask them to. They just… did. They cleared their schedules, just in case. They’re here now, taking care of me, instead of mounting me and taking Alphas think they can take so freely.
The ache between my legs turns sharp and demanding, pulling another whimper from between my lips.
“Walker?” I ask.
“What is it, beautiful? What do you need?”
I draw in a panting breath. “I don’t know how to answer anything about your vineyard proposal at dinner. It’s all a lot right now.”
His answer is immediate. “Put that out of your mind. I shouldn’t have brought it up at the spur of the moment like that.”
“I’m glad you did, though,” I grit out through another cramp, “because it made me realize something.”
“Yeah? What’s that, beautiful?”
My half-hooded gaze pans up to find his face. “It made me realize I want your knot, and I want it now.”
And the way his eyes darken tells me he’s more than ready to answer my plea.