Chapter 46 Eli
Eli
Idon’t want to overthink this.
If I do, I’ll stall. If I stall, I’ll overcomplicate it. And if I overcomplicate it, I’ll turn something simple into something confusing for a nine-year-old who deserves better than that.
So, I don’t wait.
I set my mug down as I look over at my daughter.
My beautiful, wonderful daughter, who I hope experiences the joy of finding her own pack someday.
She’s still curled up in Lia’s lap, talking a mile a minute about something Pickles did while he was at my parents’ house.
Lia’s listening as if it’s the most important story she’s ever heard, her fingers absentmindedly combing through Amber’s hair.
I have to swallow the knot in my throat. “Hey, kiddo.”
Amber looks over at me immediately. “Yeah, Daddy?”
I crook my finger at her. “C’mere for a second.”
She slides out of Lia’s lap without hesitation, padding over to me in the footed pajama onesie I know she insisted on wearing all day while at her grandparents’. I lift her easily, settling her on my lap like I’ve done a thousand times before.
One of these days, she’ll be too grown for me to do such things. I take the opportunities when I can.
“Okay,” I say, brushing her hair back from her face. “I’ve got a question for you.”
She narrows her eyes at me playfully. “Is it a trick question?”
I huff a quiet laugh. “No, princess. Just a regular one.”
She nods. “Okay.”
Keep it simple. “What if I were to tell you that all of us sitting at this table are family now?”
She blinks at me as her little head tilts.
The hood of her unicorn onesie falls off the top of her head, and the static cling of her hair bounces it in all directions as she looks around the table.
She studies Walker and smiles at Knox. She looks over at my parents, then Walker’s parents.
It’s like she’s trying to piece together who’s in the room in real time.
Then she looks back at me with that wrinkled little nose of hers. “Does that mean I have more grandparents now?”
Behind me, I hear a very poorly stifled squeal. I don’t have to look to know it’s Walker’s mother.
It makes me smile. “Yeah. That means you’ve got more grandparents now. How does that make you feel?”
Her face lights up, wasting no time expressing her joy. “That’s awesome! Can we call Meemaw and Peepaw and tell them? I was supposed to see them, but Meemaw’s been sick.”
Gloria’s parents. My brow furrows. “How sick is she?”
Walker’s mother interjects from the kitchen. “Just some sinus problems! You know how it is with spring! I checked up on her a few times this week.”
Walker groans, but I just look over at him and toss him a playful wink. He may find that his mother meddles too much, but I find that not enough people meddle in mine and Amber’s lives.
“Thank you, Mrs. Boone,” I call back.
“You’re welcome, son,” she chirps.
Amber giggles and tries to slide down off my lap, but I hold her in place.
“Is there something else?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I say with a nod of my head. “How do you feel about all this?”
She gives me a smile that’s straight out of her mother’s playbook before she throws her arms around my neck.
I hug her back, imagining her as a little girl again, toddling around in nothing but her diaper and lifting her arms because she wants up from the floor.
My goodness, how time flies.
My throat tightens a little as I hold her back.
“Good,” I murmur into her hair. “Just want to make sure you’re okay with something like that.”
She pulls back just enough to look at me again. “Does that mean Lia’s staying with us forever?”
There it is.
The real question.
My gaze flits over to Lia before coming back to my daughter. “Yeah, that means she’s staying forever. They’re all staying forever. Lia, Walker, and Knox.”
Her smile is so bright it could outshine the sun. “Good. But I don’t know where they’re all going to sleep. Lia can have my room, though!”
I can’t help but look over at Walker. His proposal about all of us living in his villa from days ago rings around in my head.
“We’ll figure that out, princess,” I say as I lean in and kiss my daughter’s forehead. “You leave those details to us.”
“Okay, but can I ask Lia a question?”
“Of course, you can,” Lia says from across the table. “What’s up?”
My daughter slides off my lap and I rub her back. She pads over to Lia, pulling the hoodie that has the little stuffed unicorn horn on it back up onto her head. Her hair is a mess, sticking out from beneath the hood as she stands next to Lia.
I watch her fidget for a moment, and I wonder what she’s so nervous about asking.
“I just… I wanna ask you something, but I don’t wanna hurt Daddy’s feelings.”
That gets my attention. “You could never hurt my feelings, kiddo.”
She nibbles on her lip and looks over at me. “Are you sure?”
Now, I’m worried. “Of course I’m sure.”
Lia guides Amber’s attention back to her. “What’s on your mind? Maybe I can help put it at ease.”
Amber fiddles with her fingers. “I just… I was wondering. I mean, if you’re going to be staying and all…”
Lia smiles, but my heart stops in my chest.
I know what she’s asking. Lia doesn’t realize it yet, though.
Walker’s head snaps to me, and when Knox looks over at me as well, I know they realize what’s about to happen.
I practically hold my breath.
“So, if one day, I wanted to call you ‘Mama,’ that wouldn’t be weird or anything?”
Lia stops.
I stop.
I hear someone gasp from the kitchen.
Time seems to slow to a grinding halt as I wait for whatever answer comes.
Lia clears her throat. “Is that… something you want to call me?”
“I mean, not right now,” Amber says with a shake of her head. “But you never know, right?
Lia takes Amber’s hands into her own. “You know you don’t ever have to call me anything you don’t want to.
You can call me whatever makes you feel comfortable, and that’s okay with me.
The important thing is that you want to call me whatever you wish to call me, and that you’re comfortable with it. Okay?”
“So… if I’m comfortable with it… it’s okay?”
Lia’s eyes lift and find mine, showcasing a sincerity and a softness I haven’t yet seen in her. There’s a quiet kind of fear, like she doesn’t want to mess up this moment.
She’s going to be so good for Amber.
I just smile and nod, letting her know that whatever she chooses, it’ll be okay.
My girls will be okay so long as I’m around.
“Then yes,” Lia says as she leans forward and presses a kiss to Amber’s forehead, “it’s okay if you want to call me that in the future.”
I don’t even realize my mother’s standing behind me until I feel her hand on my shoulder.
She gives it a soft squeeze, and I reach out and take her hand within mine.
My mind flashes back to those first days after Gloria’s death.
My mother was over at the house twenty-four-seven, cleaning and cooking because I was comatose with grief.
In those moments, I thought there was no way forward. No path toward a happy life. I had discarded my own life in favor of making sure my daughter had everything she could ever possibly need.
I look up and I see tears in my mother’s eyes.
“I’m so happy for you, kiddo,” she whispers as she drops a kiss to the top of my head.
I swallow hard and look back at Lia and Amber. They’re hugging now, and my daughter seems completely oblivious to the emotional bomb that’s just dropped in the room. I see Knox swiping underneath his eyes. Walker clears his throat and looks down into his lap, and I just… drink it all in.
Thank you, Gloria, for sending them to me.
Amber quickly jumps into yet another story about school. A kid in her art class apparently threw paint as Miss Lo, and she didn’t like that so she threw paint at the kid. It started an all-out paint war, and apparently ruined one of her outfits.
“Don’t worry, I took her to get another one,” Walker’s mother whispers.
I look up and find all of the adults—save for Gloria’s parents—surrounding us while Amber rattles off more about her week.
She talks about Pickles and how he tried to steal Mr. Boone’s morning breakfast sandwich.
She talks about how Miss Lo came to the vineyard with her pack and she got to take a trolley ride with them.
And the entire time, Lia listens like it’s the only thing she wishes to do with her life.
Like there’s nowhere else she’d rather be.
I lean back and just watch everything unfold. The adults eventually gravitate back to the kitchen. Mr. Boone comes around with more coffee for us. Mrs. Boone’s made another round of eggs for all of us. And through it all, I don’t even realize I’m smiling so hard until my cheeks start aching.
I thought I’d only ever get to be a good father. I convinced myself that would be enough. I never saw a pack in my future.
And now, it’s the only future I wish to live.
“Your cheese grits are ready, Amber!” Walker’s mom calls from the kitchen.
“Food!” Amber exclaims.
“Chocolate milk, too?” Walker’s father asks.
“Yes, please,” Amber says as she wiggles herself into a chair at the table.
I watch Amber get settled before movement over at Lia’s chair catches my attention.
She’s moving as if she’s about to stand on her own, but that isn’t happening.
Not by a long shot. Walker’s halfway out of his chair, but I leap to my feet.
I rush to Lia’s side just as she stands up, her legs stumbling out from beneath her.
“Woo,” Lia says breathlessly.
I hold my hand out to Walker before I swoop my other arm around her waist. “I gotcha. Take it slow. You still need rest.”
She leans into me without hesitation. “Hey. Sorry. Just need to pee.”
“I’ll help you to the bathroom,” I murmur.
“Is Lia okay?” Amber asks.
“Oh, yeah, princess,” I say as I help Lia away from the table. “She’s just very tired. She needs more sleep.”
“Well, she should get more sleep, then. Maybe on the couch? We could watch a movie!”
Lia gives her a thumbs up. “You pick the movie, kiddo. I’ll be right back.”
As I help her down the hallway, we get a rare, precious moment to ourselves. I decide to take her to my bathroom, just so we can walk a little farther and put a little bit of distance between her and the crowd.
“You okay?” I ask as I help her through the threshold of my bathroom.
She’s silent for a moment. “Is it weird that I’m considering Walker’s offer with the villa?”
I look down at her as I relinquish her toward the toilet. “Funny, I had that on my mind not too long ago.”
She snickers as she closes the door that separates the toilet from the rest of the bathroom. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m ready to start hiring moving trucks or anything. But it does have enough room for all of us.”
I back out of the bathroom to give her privacy. “You’re right about that.”
“My lease at the complex isn’t up for another three months. You think Walker can wait that long?”
I chuckle. “I think he’d buy you out of your lease if you let him.”
“Well, I want enough time to settle that renter’s insurance stuff that they still haven’t paid out yet. I don’t know what’s taking them so long, but I figure we can use some of that money to get Amber a new bedroom set in Walker’s place.”
I scrub my hand down my face
My god, this family is going to be so good for my little girl.
Thank you so much, Gloria.
Because now more than ever, I believe Gloria sent them to us. Walker, Knox, and Lia. She sent us a family so we didn’t have to be alone.
“Eli?” she asks.
The toilet flushing rushes me back into the bathroom. “Come on, let’s get you to the sink.”
She leans against me as I help her over to the countertop so she can wash her hands. “You think it’s a bad idea?”
I kiss her temple. “Absolutely not. You know Knox is going to want to comb that place from top to bottom, anyway, to make sure nothing needs to be fixed. Three months is more than enough time for everyone to adjust to the idea.”
“I think it’s a great idea, honestly,” Knox says as he appears in the bathroom doorway.
Walker scoots in behind him, standing there with his arms folded over his chest. “Though if you want me to buy you out of that shitty lease, all you have to do is say the word.”
I grin. “See?”
Lia wrinkles her nose. “Where did you two come from?”
“Just wanted to come check on you, Sunshine,” Knox says.
“You good in here, beautiful?” Walker asks.
Lia dries her hands off and smiles. “I’m okay. Just a bit tired still.”
“Then it’s a movie and snack day for both you and Amber,” Walker says with a punctuated nod.
“And you’re right,” Knox says as he peers over his shoulder at Walker. “I’m going to need a key to your place so I can come by and check things out in my spare time.”
Walker looks around at all of us. “So, does that mean we’re all moving into the villa?”
I nod as I look down at Lia. “I’ll need to talk with Amber, make sure she understands what’s happening. But…”
Lia smiles. “Yeah. I think it would be nice, all of us living together at the vineyard.”
“Yes!” Knox exclaims with a hiss, pumping his fist into the air.
Walker claps his hand together and rubs them. “Three months. That gives me plenty of time to redecorate. Eli.”
“Yep?”
“Is Amber still at an age where things need to be childproofed?”
I shake my head. “I mean, you may not want the sharp knives just out on display in the kitchen or anything like that.”
“Do you want her to have access to the hot tub at all times?” he asks.
I pause. “Maybe a lock on that screen door.”
Knox points at me. “You got it.”
Lia speaks up. “Is it possible to build a playground or something for her? She strikes me as a girl that wants to be outdoors.”
Knox points at her. “I can do that. Eli, she like swings? Slides? Rock climbs?”
I shrug. “All of the above?”
“Oh, hell yeah,” Knox says with a smile.
As Walker and Knox start talking about changes to make to the villa, I look down at Lia. Her smile is so bright that it practically closes her eyes, and I reach down to kiss those luscious little lips of hers.
She giggles against my mouth. “What was that for?”
I pull back and nuzzle my nose against hers. “Welcome home, my Omega.”
“Welcome home, my lonely Alpha.”
And for the first time since losing Gloria, I feel like I’m actually home.