Chapter 18 Willow
Willow
They sweep my apartment as though I don’t already know what they’ll find. Nothing. Finn isn’t here. He wouldn’t be that obvious.
But that doesn’t stop them from checking every single room, closet, cabinet, window, and vent. Carson even looks under my bed.
I lean against the doorway to my hallway, arms crossed, watching them move with precision, their sharp gazes sweeping over everything, every detail accounted for.
And it hits me, this is more than just a job to them now. They’re being too thorough. Too protective. Even for bodyguards. Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe the hum under my skin isn’t thinking of them as bodyguards at all.
No, it’s thinking of all the ways I could use them. To erase the memory of Landon. To forget I let Finn kiss me. To drown out the fact that if Finn kissed me again, I wouldn’t stop him.
I press my fingers to my temples, inhaling deeply. What the fuck is wrong with me? Did Landon screw me up this badly?
I’m not sure. But tonight changed everything, for all of us. I know it. And they know it. But we are all ignoring it.
Carson keeps sneaking glances at me, caught on thoughts he won’t say out loud. I can feel the weight of them anyway. Maybe he’s wondering how I’d taste if he kissed me, and whether I’d let him.
Hunter hasn’t said a word, but he’s standing too close, while the others are searching for who knows what. Close enough that I can feel the heat coming off him, steady and quiet a fuse waiting to be lit.
And then there’s Graham.
I shift under his gaze, pulse kicking up.
He hasn’t touched me. Hasn’t said a single inappropriate thing. But the way he’s watching me? It says everything. I saw it earlier—that flicker of something hot and unspoken when I called him Daddy just to push his buttons.
Or maybe it was when I told him he wasn’t.
Either way, I saw the shift. Just for a second. And now I can’t stop thinking about it. He is definitely a dom. Heat pools low in my stomach, and I force my arms to uncross, shaking the thought away.
No.
This is not happening. I am not letting my body react to them. To any of them. Graham steps closer, and I almost take a step back. Almost.
“Finn wasn’t here,” I say, needing to break whatever this is.
Graham tilts his head, considering me.
“No,” he finally says. “But he’ll be back.”
Something about the way he says it makes my stomach flip. And I’d be okay with that.
Get it together, Willow, we do not want the stalker to come back.
I clear my throat. “I need to make a call.”
I step away from them, heading to my bedroom, awareness zipping through my body like static electricity, a live wire waiting to snap. I need space before I do something stupid.
I yank my phone out and pull up Chad’s contact. His smirking face fills the screen, and I press call, needing the distraction, needing something to anchor me.
The first ring barely finishes before he picks up, and the second I see his face, my lips twitch into something almost real. God, I miss him.
“Oh, I know that look,” Chad teases. “What’s wrong?”
I wet my lips, my fingers gripping the phone a little too tightly. “Landon,” I manage, and it’s the only word I can get out before my throat closes up.
Chad’s teasing expression shifts, his brows pulling together.
He warned me. Told me Landon wasn’t the type to settle down.
Told me I was going to get hurt, that Landon wasn’t built for forever the way I thought he was.
I should have listened to him. There are a lot of things I should have done.
I should have walked away when Landon hesitated. I should have fought harder for myself.
I should not be standing here, surrounded by three men who are supposed to be guarding me, while my body is betraying me and craving something dangerous.
Chad’s eyes narrow, confusion slipping in. He knows I’ve avoided this topic. Hell, the last time he brought it up, I hung up on him.
I don’t talk about Landon. Most of the time, I pretend he was a mistake I don’t remember. It’s kind of hard to keep pretending with him here in New York.
But I really don’t talk about him to Chad. Especially since one of his mates is Landon’s twin sister, Lakelyn. She believed in him. Convinced me he’d changed.
She was wrong.
“He’s here.”
“Shit,” Chad curses, his easygoing expression vanishing. The screen wobbles as he moves through his house.
“Lake, your brother went to New York,” he calls, and I hear the faint sound of something clattering in the background.
A second later, Lakelyn appears, her curls damp from a shower. Her face twists in a frown. “What do you mean he’s in New York?”
“He showed up,” I say.
Lakelyn drags a hand down her face. “Goddammit, Landon.” Her eyes flick back to the screen. “Are you okay? Mason said—”
I know what she is going to say…I know it’s why Landon is here. He felt it when the mark faded. He probably feels bad. He should.
“I’m fine.” I’m not fine, but I say it anyway.
Her lips press together, then she blows out a breath. “I’ll call him. I’ll tell him to come home.”
A tight, ugly knot twists in my chest. “Will he listen to you?”
She hesitates, then shakes her head. “I don’t know.”
A heavy silence settles between us, stretching long enough that I feel it in my soul.
“Try,” I whisper.
Lakelyn nods. “I will.”
We hang up, and when I go back to the living room, I’m met with three sets of eyes. Watching me. Waiting. Because this isn’t just about Landon.
And we all fucking know it.
How did I get into this mess?
I arrive at practice the next afternoon, eager to escape the men who have my skin tingling and my heart racing.
The team is in good spirits as we tie up our laces and get ready to skate sprints. Cheese and Knox joke with each other while Twinkle and Daisy stretch.
Coach Crusher skates in front of us. “Ready to work, ladies?”
A chorus of snarky comebacks fills the space, and we dissolve into laughter.
“Laugh while you can, but soon you’ll be needing that air to catch your breath.”
She wasn’t lying. By the time practice is over, I’m sweaty, exhausted, and ready to eat.
Cheese swats my ass as she skates off the rink. “Nice scrimmage, Jinx.”
I grin after her, following Oopsie Daisy off the floor.
“What are you doing for dinner?” I ask.
She smiles, all teeth. “Hot date!”
“Sounds fun,” I say. Anything else I’m about to add dries up in my mouth as Coach glides in front of me, a bouquet of flowers in her grip.
“These just showed up for you, Jinx.”
I follow her gesture. My eyes haven’t left the pink carnations since she came to a stop in front of me. I’m frozen.
Pink. Carnations.
My stomach drops, and suddenly, I’m right back at Chad’s house, Landon holding out a bouquet just like this, an almost shy smile on his face.
“They reminded me of you.”
Coach holds them out, but I stare at them as if they might bite me.
When she lifts them higher, I force my hands to move and take them. A card perches on a plastic holder, my name—Willow—scrawled in a familiar slanted script. If the flowers hadn’t given it away, the handwriting would have.
“Who are they from?” Daisy asks when I don’t immediately look at the card.
I wet my lips, unable to pull my gaze from the delicate petals.
“A fan, probably,” I lie.
“Finn?” She wags her eyebrows suggestively.
That would be so much better than the reality.
I force a half-hearted smile. “Probably.”
She beams. “Well, are you going to find out?”
On autopilot, I pluck the card from the holder. Setting the bouquet down on the railing, I slide my finger beneath the seal. My heart thuds loudly in my ears as I tug the card free.
Willow,
I know you hate me. I don’t blame you.
Please meet me so I can explain how sorry I am.
7 p.m. at the Mexican place outside your apartment.
Landon
Explain? My fingers curl around his words, crumpling the thick paper.
What could he possibly say? Nothing.
Because how do I forgive cheating? How do I forgive the fact that he didn’t come to me until it was too late?
I can’t.
But there’s a part of me that wants to hear what he has to say. A stupid and pathetic part. But it’s still there.