38. Hailey
Chapter 38
Hailey
T he words are like a spark to dry kindling. My hips snap on their own and I grind against him, my breath coming in ragged gasps, my perfume flooding the nest. I’m in control .
He’s not even touching me now. Not demanding anything. Not asking for anything. This is all up to me and how far I want this to go.
Me. Hailey. I have power over this alpha. He’s letting me take what I want.
Stone’s jaw clenches so hard I can see the outline of bone. His muscles go taut as he’s letting me set the pace, letting me take what I need .
Behind me, Finn’s breath hitches, and when he presses against my back, I feel the thick length of his arousal pressing into my behind. The sensation of them both, hard and yearning, pressing into me but not demanding, allowing me to take what I want and not asking for anything in return, allowing me to remain in charge sends a flush through me that is so hard my core flutters.
Finn’s arms tighten around me, his scent mingling with mine and Stone’s, creating a heady mix that fills the nest. His hips move slightly, pressing his own hardness into me, and I gasp into Stone’s neck, my lips brushing against his heated skin.
“That’s it, Hailey,” Finn whispers, his voice ragged. “Can you feel us? Feel what you do to us?”
A soft whimper builds in my throat. I almost can’t take it. Can’t bear the sensation of them. The lightning in my veins. It’s intoxicating.
My movements become more desperate, my hips grinding against Stone’s thigh as I chase the pleasure that’s just out of reach. Stone’s purr deepens, his eyes locked on mine, and I can’t look away. In those amber eyes is a mix of desire and restraint warring in his gaze.
“Take it, Hailey,” he growls. “Fuck, yes. Take what you need.”
My hips buck against Stone’s thigh, a frantic rhythm driven by the raw need pulsing through me. The friction builds, the heat between my legs intensifying, a slick wetness coating my inner thighs. I’m vaguely aware of it, but the sensation is overshadowed by the overwhelming pleasure coiling in my core.
Stone’s purr is a low rumble against my ear, his breath hot on my neck. He grips my hips, forcing me harder against him, and I cry out, my head thrown back, my body arching into his touch.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he groans. “Let it go. Let it all go.”
Finn’s arms tighten around me, his own arousal a hard pressure against my back. His hand finds mine, his fingers intertwining with mine, anchoring me as the pleasure builds, crests, and explodes.
A wave of pure, white-hot sensation washes over me, my body convulsing, muscles contracting. I cry out again, my voice lost in the symphony of our mingled breaths and growls. The world narrows to the feel of Stone’s hands on my hips, the comforting pressure of Finn behind me, and the thick scent of arousal in the air,
As the tremors wracking my body subside, they’re replaced by something I don’t expect. A blissful emptiness. I slump against Stone, my head resting on his shoulder, my breath coming in slow, shuddering gasps. The panic is gone, replaced by a languid warmth that spreads through my limbs.
Contentment.
I’m content.
But as my mind clears, something else becomes clear. There’s a dampness between my thighs. No. Not just dampness. I’m wearing Finn’s sweats and they’re soaked .
I shift slightly, looking in the space between me and Stone. For a moment, the shadows hide what’s there, but when the light of the screen changes, my eyes widen in horror.
Between my thighs is soaked. And not only that…but I soaked Stone, too.
Oh no. I don’t know how I manage to scramble off Stone’s lap, stumbling back. My gaze drops to the nest, to the dark stain spreading across Stone’s lap where I’d been sitting. And there, pushing against the stain, is a visible tent that throbs the longer I stare at it.
Stone looks up at me, eyes dazed, his chest heaving. His pupils are blown wide, throat working as he swallows hard. He looks…wrecked. Struggling for control. Beside him, Finn sits frozen, eyes wide, his breath coming in short pants.
“I…I’m so sorry,” I stammer, cheeks burning. “I didn’t…I didn’t mean to…”
Finn clears his throat, but when he speaks, his voice is like gravel. “Stone…”
Stone blinks, as if just now realizing the state he’s in. He glances down at his soaked lap, then back at me. He looks pained. Teeth clenched, he looks nothing like the controlled alpha I’m used to seeing.
“It’s…it’s okay,” he manages, but his voice is strained. He tries to stand, but staggers instead. He sways, catching himself on the edge of the nest as his breaths come hard. But with each inhalation, he seems to groan .
Finn reaches out, steadying him. “Go,” he says, his voice gentle but firm. “Go deal with it.”
My breaths stutter from my chest, every nerve ending at the surface of my skin sending residual tingles through my frame after what we just shared. But amidst all that, is the almost overwhelming sensation of horror as my gaze drops to the wetness that soaked through my clothing.
I don’t even realize I’ve moved.
I slam the bathroom door behind me, fingers trembling as I turn the lock. My breath comes in short, panicked gasps as I press my back against the cool wood and slide down to sit on the floor. Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god.
My cheeks are ablaze. I can’t believe I…that I just…
“I peed on him,” I whisper in horror, the words barely a breath in the quiet bathroom. “I actually peed on him.”
Had I become so lost in the sensations that I lost control of my bladder?
The mortification is complete. Total. I want to sink through the floor and disappear forever. Stone has been nothing but kind to me—feeding me, comforting me, making me feel safe for the first time in forever—and how do I repay him? By losing control of my bladder while, oh God, while grinding my pussy on his thigh.
My hands come up to cover my face as the memory of what just happened crashes over me. The way he’d held me. How his skin had tasted underneath my tongue…the words he’d said. The heat that had flooded through me the more he encouraged me to ‘take what I need’.
No. No no no. I can’t think about that. Can’t let myself remember how good it felt, how right, how much I’d wanted him to continue.
But my traitorous mind replays it anyway. The way he’d gripped my hips. The way his fingers had tangled in my hair. The sound he’d made when I’d pressed closer—something between a groan and a growl that had lit up every nerve ending in my body .
And then I’d ruined it all by peeing on him.
“What is wrong with me?” I mutter, thumping my head back against the door.
I shift uncomfortably, suddenly aware of the wetness between my thighs. It doesn’t feel like I’ve urinated. It feels…different. Slicker. And the scent…
Hesitantly, I reach down and then bring my fingers to my nose. The smell makes my head spin—sweet and rich and nothing like urine at all.
What is happening to me?
My skin feels too tight, too hot. Like I’m burning up from the inside out. And there’s this ache, this emptiness that seems to pulse in time with my racing heart. I’ve never felt anything like this before.
“Get it together,” I whisper. “You’re fine. Everything’s fine. You just need to…to…”
To what? Face Finn and Stone again after what just happened? Face Jax and Ren?
My stomach lurches as I remember the scents I’d caught while Finn and Stone had brought me out of that panic attack. Sage and pine mixed with something darker, spicier—both of them thick with…something even headier. Something that had made that ache inside me pulse harder.
“Slut,” I whisper, the word bitter on my tongue. How many times had the handlers at the Academy thrown that word at me? At any omega who whined too much. Any omega who couldn’t control their base urges.
And here I am, proving them right. Finn and Stone showed me basic kindness, and I immediately started having the most inappropriate thoughts! Started wanting things I shouldn’t want. Started imagining his hands sliding lower, his mouth on my neck, his body pressing me down into the cushions…
“Stop it!” I hiss at myself, digging my nails into my palms until the sting pulls me back from those dangerous thoughts. “What is wrong with you?”
But I know what’s wrong with me. I’m an undeserving, unwanted thing. Just like Pa thought. Just like the Academy tried to fix. And these alphas, Finn, have been trying to give me more than anyone else in my life ever has. I’m losing myself. The only problem is…I don’t even know who I truly am.
A wave of dizziness hits me and I press my forehead to my drawn-up knees. My whole body feels strange—hot and achy and somehow both too big and too small for my skin. Is this what going crazy feels like?
The scent of honey and vanilla fills my nose, and it takes me a moment to realize it’s coming from me. Exactly what Finn said I smelled like.
But should it be this sweet? This heady?
Oh.
Oh no.
I’m not completely dumb. I might not have much in the way of experience but I know omegas go through heats. I know that’s the reason the Academy kept us on those little red pills that came every night with dinner. For the entire week before the transport to “master”, those little red pills had been mysteriously absent.
Is that why I’m feeling like this?
“But I’ve never…” I swallow hard. “This can’t…”
But it is. I’m aroused. Wet. Wanting. All because Finn and Stone…
I swallow hard.
The reality of it hits me all over again and I curl tighter into myself. I’d loved it. Wanted more of it. Wanted things I don’t even have names for.
“They’re going to throw me out,” I whisper, heart rising in my throat. “They have to.”
The thought makes my chest rise and fall with panic. Where will I go? Back to the woods? Back to…the Academy ?
No. I can’t think about that. Can’t let myself remember where I was headed before Stone found me. Before Finn took me in and made me feel safe and looked at me like I was worth something and kissed me like I was precious and…
Another wave of heat rolls through me and I whimper. Fresh slick seeps at the edges of my sex. Everything feels too sensitive. The brush of my clothes against my skin is almost painful. The ache between my legs has intensified to something that makes me want to squirm, to press my thighs together. My fingers twist in the fabric of the sweatpants, fighting the urge to reach down, to touch. Each breath brings another wave of need, sharp and insistent, until I can barely think past the desperate throbbing.
“Please,” I whisper, though I’m not sure what I’m begging for. “Please make it stop.”
But it doesn’t stop. If anything, it gets worse. My breath comes faster as need coils tighter in my belly. Need for what? I don’t know. I just know I feel empty. Hollow. Like there’s something missing and if I could just figure out what it is…
A knock at the door makes me jump.
“Hailey?” Finn’s voice is soft, concerned. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine!” The words come out too high, too fast. “I just…I needed to…”
Hide forever? Die of embarrassment? Crawl out the window and run away before they throw me out themselves?
“Can I come in?” he asks gently. “I think we should talk about what happened.”
“No!” I press harder against the door, as if he might try to force his way in. “I mean…I’m fine. Really. You don’t have to…”
“Hailey.” Something in his tone makes me shiver. “You didn’t do anything wrong. What happened was natural. Normal.”
I almost laugh. “Normal? I peed on Stone!”
There’s a pause, then what sounds suspiciously like a stifled chuckle. “Is that what you think happened? That would be a story to tell. ”
“I…” My face burns hotter. It wasn’t exactly pee, was it. It was something else. But what else should I call it? “Didn’t I?”
“No, sunshine. That wasn’t urine.”
Sunshine . The endearment makes something flutter in my chest even as confusion swirls through me. “But…but I…”
“It’s called slick,” he says carefully. “It’s a natural omega response to when you feel…aroused.”
The word hangs in the air between us and I want to die all over again. “Oh god.”
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he continues quickly. “It’s completely normal. Healthy, even. It means your body is responding the way it’s supposed to.”
But it’s not supposed to respond at all. I know they want me to stay here. Safe. But it’s their kindness, their courtesy. I’m not really a part of their pack. They’re not my alphas and…well…they already have one omega.
I groan. I swear I can scent Finn even with the door between us.
Another wave of heat rolls through me and I bite back a whimper. “Something’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing is wrong with you.” His voice is firm now. “You’re experiencing pre-heat symptoms. It’s making everything feel more intense, but I promise you’re okay.”
Pre-heat? No. No no no. This can’t be happening. Not here. Not now.
“I can’t…” Shit. I can’t go into heat. I’ve never gone into heat before. “I don’t…” I don’t know what to do or even what that entails.
“Let me help you,” he says softly. “Please? You don’t have to go through this alone.”
The offer sends another shiver through me. Help how? The image of his hands on me, his mouth on my neck, his body pressed against mine flashes through my mind and I have to bite back a moan .
Stop it! What is wrong with me? He’s trying to be kind and all I can think about is doing things with him. To him.
“Please come out?” Finn’s voice has gone soft again. “Or let me in? You shouldn’t be alone right now.”
I press my forehead harder against my knees. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” Because I want you too much. Because I’m scared of what I’ll do if you touch me again. Because I don’t understand any of this and it terrifies me. “Because I’m dirty.”
“What?” He sounds genuinely shocked. “Hailey, no. You’re not dirty.”
“I just…just threw myself at you and Stone. You were only trying to get me to calm down, and I repaid you by being a…a…”
“If you’re about to call yourself a slut, don’t.” His voice has gone hard. “You’re not dirty or slutty or any of the other awful things they told you. You’re an omega experiencing very normal responses to pre-heat and…” He pauses, then continues more quietly, “And to someone you’re attracted to.”
The words make my stomach flip. “But I shouldn’t be!”
“Says who?” he challenges. “The people who hurt you? The ones who tried to make you believe there was something wrong with you? Why should they get to decide what’s right?”
I open my mouth to argue, then close it again. He sounds genuinely pissed at the Academy.
“I shouldn’t want your alphas…” I finally whisper, shame eating straight from my soul. I don’t want to hurt Finn.
There’s no sound on the other side of the door and I think he’s walked away. But then…
“What if I told you, Hailey…that they want you, too.”
“Finn—”
“They didn’t want to tell you yet. Didn’t want to scare you. But I think you’re stronger than they think.”
I lift my head from my knees, not sure where he’s going with this. “Tell me what? ”
“Hailey…do you know what a scent match is?”
I turn the term over in my head. It doesn’t ring any bells.
Finn continues. “It means…” He pauses.
“What does it mean, Finn?” For a moment, my embarrassment isn’t center stage.
“Do you remember what you felt when you first inhaled any of their scents? Stone, Ren, or Jax? Did you like it?”
My cheeks heat once more. The embarrassment returns.
“And then think of how you reacted to that alpha in the store yesterday. Did you catch his scent? Did you like it?”
“He smelled like black pepper,” I mumble.
“Yuck,” Finn chuckles before clearing his throat. “A scent match…Hailey…my alphas…you and they…it’s like…” Finn’s voice goes soft. “What does Stone smell like to you?”
“Pine,” I whisper, pulling my knees tighter to my chest.
“And Jax?”
“Cedar,” I admit. “Freshly cut.”
“And Ren?”
My cheeks burn hotter. “Sweet sandalwood and sharp smoke. L-like the comforting warmth of a campfire cutting through the icy air of a winter night.”
“And they each smell different to everyone else,” Finn says carefully. “To most omegas, Stone smells like leather. Jax like freshly cut grass. Ren like citrus.”
I lift my head. “What?”
“Not to me.” He grunts a soft laugh. I’m compatible with them, I guess. But a scent match is…it’s rare. Sacred, even. It’s not just about basic compatibility. It’s about a connection that goes deeper than anything you can explain. It’s like…your souls recognizing each other. Like you were made to be together.”
“But all three of them?” My voice cracks.
“That’s even rarer,” Finn says softly.
I press my forehead to my knees, overwhelmed. “Why didn’t they tell me? ”
“They wanted to give you time. Space. After everything you’ve been through…” He sighs. “They didn’t want you to feel pressured. To think you had to accept the match just because it exists.”
“But I don’t…” I wrap my arms tighter around myself, trying to make sense of it. “If what you’re saying is true, then I suppose the Academy was right about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
I take a deep breath. I don’t want to think about that place. About how I ended up here. But focusing on those cold walls is pushing back some of the heat in my veins.
“The master I was being sent to,” I say slowly. “I picked up bits and pieces. He had five omegas already. Widow mentioned once that powerful alphas always had multiple mates.” I swallow hard. “Is that…is that why you say I belong here, too. Me and you?”
I take a deep breath. I remember Stone at that shopping center, heard Jax’s unbridled rage the evening when we returned, saw and felt the power in Ren’s arms when they were around my throat.
“Powerful alphas,” I whisper.
There’s a soft sliding sound—Finn slumping down against the door.
“No,” he says quietly. “That’s more Academy lies. Most alphas are lucky to find even one true mate. Multiple omegas? That’s not normal, Hailey. It’s not right.”
The words pause all thought in my mind, shattering something in my understanding of the world. Everything I thought I knew about pack dynamics, about my place in it all, crumbles.
If what Finn’s saying is true…if alphas don’t normally have multiple omegas…then every whispered conversation I’d overheard at the Academy, every lesson about our “natural place,” every promise about the powerful alpha who would “collect” me…
My mind races back to that day in the shopping center. To Stone’s protective rage when that other alpha had shown interest in me. To Jax’s fury when we returned .
They weren’t acting like alphas who collected omegas. They were acting like I was something precious they needed to guard.
“But then…”
Everything he said before about leaving. About giving me space with his alphas. About stepping aside…
“Oh god.” My voice cracks. “You’re leaving your pack because of me .”
The heat under my skin grows unbearable, but the pain in my chest is worse. All this time he’s been helping me, comforting me, and I’ve been destroying everything he has.
“Hailey—”
“How can you even stand to look at me?!” The words tear from my throat. “How can you be so kind when I’m ruining everything?”
“You’re not ruining anything,” Finn says firmly. “You’re making it whole. Making them whole. They just don’t know how to tell you.”
I press my forehead against my knees, trying to breathe through another wave of dizziness. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of this.”
“I know.” Finn’s voice is gentle. “And that’s okay. You don’t have to understand everything right now. Just…please let me help you? You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Another wave of heat makes me whimper. The ache inside me has grown to something almost unbearable. Every nerve ending feels like it’s burning with lava.
“It hurts,” I admit softly.
“I know, sunshine. That’s why you need to let me help. Will you unlock the door? Please?”
My hand moves toward the lock almost of its own accord. I want to. God, I want to. Want him to hold me again, to kiss me again, to make everything make sense.
But…
“I’m scared,” I whisper .
“Of what?”
Of everything. Of how much I want you. Of how right it felt when you kissed me. Of your alphas and their strange reactions. Of this heat building under my skin. Of wanting things I shouldn’t want.
I have to fix this.
I must find a way.
“Promise you won’t hate me?” The words come out small, scared.
“Never,” he says instantly. “I could never hate you. Please, sweetheart. Let me in.”
The lock clicks open under my shaking fingers. And as Finn rushes in, gathering me into his arms, I know I will do anything, ANYTHING, to make this right. Because he needs his alphas, too. Even if he’s so convinced they’re no longer his, and that they’re mine.