13. Brylee
13
brYLEE
Nights are always harder for me.
Maybe it’s the way the darkness seems to press in on me from all sides like a rapidly shrinking room. Maybe it’s the way that the shadows look particularly ominous, whether the object in question is a chair, a coat, or even a textbook. Maybe it’s the way that the silence is deafening and the only sound you hear is your own thoughts.
The voices in my head are louder at night.
This morning, the sun is still a whisper on the horizon, more of a suggestion than anything concrete, but the moon has already begun its gradual descent. The sky overhead is dark, but soon, it’ll be a light shade of gray painted with streaks of orange and red. I can’t remember the last time I got up this early when I didn’t have to, but I found that I couldn’t stay in bed a second longer. My thoughts were too loud, too demanding, too…terrifying.
Now, I stand in the garden directly behind Darling Academy, stretching my taut muscles. My long golden hair has been pulled up in a high ponytail, though a few stubborn strands insist on sticking to my cheeks. I wear a sports bra with a sweatshirt zipped over it and a pair of leggings. Teddie purchased this outfit for me over a year ago, when I offhandedly mentioned I wanted to start trying to work out more. Of course, the clothing has seen more dust than sweat, but I’m determined to change that.
If I have any hope of surviving Eros Academy, I need to be stronger than I have ever been before. Better. I never realized my physical limitations until I was forced to endure a self-defense class with Alpha Team X. Only a week ago, I considered myself to be in relatively good shape, at least for an omega, but “good” isn’t going to cut it. I need to be the best.
Taking a deep breath, I focus on the pathway winding through the forest. First-years usually have their “nature” lessons here. It’s a tedious, and quite frankly idiotic, class that teaches omegas the best flowers to pick when making arrangements. Roses for this occasion, violets for this reason, peonies for this. It’s as horrible as it sounds.
You would think they would teach us something cool like how to tell if a plant is poisonous or not. But oh no. Here at Darling Academy, we’re taught how many flowers are needed for a bouquet and which colors look best at brunch versus dinner.
Still, the path has proved itself to be useful.
My sneakers pound against the compressed dirt as I move through the forest. Every step causes my ankle to twinge, but I force myself to run through the pain, to shove it to a section of my mind secured by lock and key.
If I remember correctly, this particular pathway is only a mile long. It’s perfect for a beginner like me.
My lungs burn, and my breathing escapes me in embarrassingly shallow spurts. I’m grateful no one is around to witness this.
Teddie and Caran always talk about the “runner’s high” they get, but I think they’re full of shit. I can’t imagine experiencing anything even close to bliss at the moment. I’ll be lucky if I don’t cough up all of my internal organs.
At first, I only focus on where I’m going, on keeping one foot in front of the other. But as the sun begins to play peek-a-boo with the horizon, my thoughts wander, traveling down a path more dangerous than the one I’m currently on.
“Let me out!” I pound my fist against the door, tears cascading down my cheeks. “Please let me out.” A sob bursts free from my chest.
How could this have happened to me?
I force myself to run even faster, almost as if I’m trying to escape the memories. But nothing I do can free me from them. I’ll never be fast enough.
I slide down the wall and curl in on myself like an old, brittle scroll.
A part of me hopes the door will be thrown open and I’ll glance up to see the faces of my three lovers.
But I know that’s a futile dream.
They did this to me.
The question is—why? They told me they loved me. Was that a lie? Was everything a lie? Was I not enough for them?
Am I not enough for anyone?
I desperately wish I remembered my earbuds. Maybe if I had music blaring in my ears and reverberating through me, I’d be able to tune out my less-than-savory thoughts.
Faster, Brylee.
Faster!
Tears of frustration prick my eyes as I skirt around a tree. Every step causes the pain in my ankle to increase until I fear it will give out on me entirely. The rain-slicked grass threatens to make me lose my balance. All I can hear is my thumping heart, snapping branches, and crunching leaves.
You can do this! Come on, Bry. Come on!
Everything hurts.
But still, I run.
I run until my knees tremble, and then I’m lurching forward, just barely managing to catch myself on a nearby tree. I desperately work to refill my lungs.
There, in the distance, is Darling Academy, the tall stone towers encircled by the spread wings and heaven-turned faces of angels.
Fortunately for me, I only have classes at Darling today. It’ll give me a chance to rest, relax, and hopefully heal. I need the break from chest-puffing, cock-measuring alphas.
Especially with my nightmares so close to the surface, seeping through during waking hours.
Breathe, Brylee.
Just breathe.
I work to follow my own advice, inhaling deeply and then forcing the air out in a swooshing exhale. I do this a few more times until I’m certain that I’m not going to pass out where I stand.
A twig snaps behind me, jolting me upright.
I peer into the darkened forest, blanketed by early morning fog, only to see nothing but shadows.
You’re being paranoid. All of these mental trips to the past have fucked with your mind.
I squint once more, already knowing I’m not going to see anything. It’s probably a deer or a squirrel or any number of critters that have made this forest their home. I doubt it’ll be a student from Darling Academy—omegas only run when they’re being chased by machete-wielding maniacs or if there’s a promise of alpha cock at the end of the finish line. And it certainly can’t be an alpha from Eros. I can’t see the wall from my current position, but I know it’s there, slicing through the grounds and the forest like jagged, stone teeth.
Stop. Being. Paranoid.
For the one millionth time, I curse my weakness—and the situation that led to it. I didn’t used to always be this way. At one point, I was…happy. Jovial. Full of life. Always going out of my way to make friends and introduce myself.
But that was the old Brylee. I don’t even recognize that girl anymore.
A shiver skates down my spine, almost like the Grim Reaper himself is breathing on me. Goose bumps pebble on my skin.
Taking another deep breath and trying to ignore the queasy pull of fear, I break into a run once more, weaving through trees until I finally stumble out of the forest and into the garden. I find myself looking over my shoulder, trepidation a lead weight in my chest.
There’s no one there.
No one there.
No one there.
The forest is dark, the trees ominous entities with their spindly arms and grotesque trunks.
See, Brylee? You’re being ridiculous. There’s no one there.
Even as I think that, a trickle of unease cascades down my spine. I can’t ignore the nagging sensation that I’m being watched. This continues as I cross the garden and bounce up the steps of the academy. Only when I’m safely inside the school, the door closing with an audible click, does it feel like I can breathe again.
No one was watching you, I mentally scold myself. And then, more tentatively, I add, Right?
* * *
I’ve only just finished my shower and changed into my Darling Academy uniform when there’s a knock on my door.
I open it, expecting to see Harper, only to be greeted with the wrinkled face of Madam Ellora. She holds a garment bag over her arm.
“You need to change.” She pushes past me to enter my dorm room, her nose wrinkling when she spots my dirty clothes lying in a bundle on the floor.
“Change?” I frown. I don’t have any classes until two today, and I planned to grab breakfast and then return to my room. I have a homework assignment I need to complete for Eros Academy.
With a sniff, Madam Ellora thrusts the garment bag into my hands.
“Umm…” Timidly, I pull down the zipper, my eyes nearly popping out of my head when I see the glittery red number contained inside. For a moment, I don’t speak, simply volleying my gaze between the dress and the stern woman before me.
But Madam Ellora doesn’t provide me an explanation as she stomps out of the room with a curt, “I’ll be back in five minutes!”
What the hell?
Is this some kind of simulation I forgot about? Perhaps it’s a pop quiz on the proper way to host a dinner party. This wouldn’t be the first time the professors threw something like this at me.
With a groan, I remove the dress from the bag and settle it on my bed, already knowing I’ll be picking glitter off of my comforter for days to come.
The dress, admittedly, is beautiful. It has thin straps that cross in the back and a sweetheart neckline that will draw attention to my cleavage.
But why the hell do I have to wear it?
I strip out of my uniform and awkwardly begin to pull the dress on. It’s tight, getting stuck around my thighs, but I force it up through sheer willpower.
“No. No. No!” Madam Ellora hurries into the room in a flurry of gray skirts, Harper directly behind her. “Remove your undergarments this instant!”
I practically choke on my own spit. “W-what?”
“You heard me!”
I cast Harper a What the fuck? look, which she returns with a furrowed brow and hesitant shrug.
I wait for Madam Ellora to turn away, give me privacy, avert her eyes, something , but she merely plants her hands on her hips and glares at me.
The dress is bunched beneath my bra, and I twist slightly to remove it without flashing my tits to my roommate and teacher. Quickly, I pull the dress the rest of the way up before bending to remove my panties. My laundry basket is in my bathroom, so I settle for tossing my underwear on the floor with the rest of my discarded clothes.
Behind me, I can hear Madam Ellora murmur something about “entitled children.”
But when I turn around, however, my etiquette teacher has a huge grin on her face. She steps forward to straighten the thin straps of my dress, humming in contentment.
“Don’t you look beautiful?”
“Um…” I toss Harper another look. Her cheeks are almost as red as mine as she shrugs helplessly, also having no idea what the fuck is happening.
“Harper!” Madam Ellora steps away and snaps her fingers. The petite omega immediately hurries forward. “Can you do Miss Brylee’s hair and makeup for me?”
Harper’s eyes widen in surprise…while mine narrow in suspicion. “Yes. Of course.”
“Perfect.” Madam Ellora lifts her chin imperiously and then stalks out of the room. “Meet me in the foyer in exactly forty minutes.”
Harper appears as if she wants to protest—I’ve seen the omega do her own hair, and it takes her at least an hour and a half—but Madam Ellora breezes away before Harper can get a word out.
“Do you have any idea what’s going on?” I ask as Harper leads me to the vanity.
I sit, and my friend immediately reaches for my comb.
“No idea.” Harper shakes her head warily. “All I know is Madam Ellora stormed into my room and demanded I help you get ready.” She painstakingly runs the brush through my wet hair, the color appearing more brown than blonde at the moment.
I purse my lips together. “I don’t like the sound of this.”
Harper gives my shoulder a squeeze. “It’s probably just another one of their stupid tests.”
I’ve never heard Harper refer to anything at Darling Academy as “stupid” before. I can’t help but chuckle.
“Probably.”
The two of us sit in companionable silence as Harper weaves my hair into an elaborate series of braids and then paints my face. When she’s finally done, apparently satisfied with her work, I hardly recognize myself.
I’ve always been considered pretty, but just now, staring at myself in the mirror, I feel…beautiful. The blush highlights my cheekbones and provides much needed color to a face I once considered pale and sickly, especially after my morning jog. My golden locks have been dried and hang half-up, half-down, all of the braids woven together to create an intricate bun. I normally wear mascara, eyeliner, and a little bit of lip gloss, but the final product has never turned out like this . I look mysterious and sexy, with smoky eyes and plump red lips.
I only have time to give a quick thanks to Harper before I’m hustled out of my dorm, down the stairs, and into the foyer.
Darling Academy was once a castle, and though it’s been updated and added onto, the castle and all its features are still the most prominent part of the school. There’s a drawing room, dining room, foyer, and even a kitchen. Most of the rooms have been converted into classrooms, but the foyer remains, the white tiles polished so meticulously I can see my reflection in the surface, and the three-tiered chandelier dangles overhead, providing much needed light to the dreary space.
I spot Madam Ellora instantly, her back turned to me. It’s only when I step completely into the room do I realize she’s not alone.
Three men surround her, alpha energy practically radiating off of them in tangible waves. The force of it makes me stagger back a step, my stomach muscles tightening. Fear jolts through me, cold as ice water.
All three of them are handsome, I suppose. The tallest and broadest has bronze hair that frames a rather boyish face. Next to him stands a man with white-blond hair, glasses, and a timid smile. Behind the two is a dark-skinned Apollo, his biceps rippling as he crosses his arms, his firm lips pressed in a straight line.
Logically, I know that the three of them aren’t the alphas who destroyed me. I know that. My brain knows that. My heart knows that.
But my body? It doesn’t seem to get the memo.
Fear holds me immobile, and icy terror trickles through my veins.
All three alphas seem to notice me at the same time. The tallest man smiles, though it gradually begins to dim at whatever expression he sees on my face. The blond-haired man frowns. Only the dark-skinned alpha remains impassive, the only sign of his unease the slightest tightening of his jaw.
Madam Ellora spins on her heel, a wide, beatific smile on her wrinkled face.
“Ah! There she is! Brylee. Come here, dear!”
I don’t want to take a step closer. Don’t want to move.
Every instinct in my body is screaming at me to run.
However, I force myself to take a deep breath and then tentatively join Madam Ellora. She places an arm around my waist in a grandmotherly half-hug.
“Brylee, I would like to introduce you to Alpha Brock and his pack. Alpha Brock’s parents are good friends with your own.”
Ahh. Which means that he’s nobility.
Madam Ellora pinches my waist, and I quickly realize the alphas are waiting for a response.
Shit.
With trembling legs, I lower myself into a reverent courtesy.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“The princess shouldn’t bow to us.” The blond-haired man flashes me a smile designed to put me at ease. “Isn’t that supposed to be our job?”
Madam Ellora seems aghast, one of her frail hands fluttering to her throat.
“Alphas should never bow to omegas!”
The brown-haired man—Brock—offers the older omega an indulgent smile. “Omegas are supposed to be respected and revered members of our society, wouldn’t you agree?” Without waiting for her to respond, he turns toward me, flashing a smile that has a dimple peeking out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” And then, to my absolute horror, he bows over my extended hand, planting a chaste kiss to the back of my knuckles.
“Oh.” I desperately flick my eyes in Madam Ellora’s direction, who appears just as scandalized as I am.
Alphas don’t bow to omegas.
Ever.
My training dictates that he should’ve grabbed my proffered hand and brought it to his lips. Not lean over it.
Heat travels to my cheeks. “It’s nice to meet you too, Alpha Brock.”
“Just Brock.” He flashes another charming smile before turning toward the white-haired man. “This right here is Jamie. And the big, silent brute behind him is Nic.”
“Hello.” I smile awkwardly, wondering yet again what the fuck is going on. It’s rare that alphas visit the school. They only do it for special events, like balls, or?—
No.
Oh no.
Hell no.
I can feel the beginnings of a panic attack coming on, but I force myself to breathe. I can’t surrender to the memories. Not now.
“We’ll be staying at Eros Academy for the foreseeable future.” Brock offers me another smile. That dimple once again makes an appearance. “But you’ll be seeing a lot of us.”
No.
No.
No.
“We’re excited to get to know you, Brylee.” Jamie’s cheeks turn red as he ducks his head.
“I don’t understand,” I say through numb lips. But I do understand. God help me, I do.
I just want to hear someone admit it out loud.
Madam Ellora’s grin lights up her face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile quite like this before. “Brylee, I’m pleased to announce that we found you an alpha team to mate with. Your mother just sent the order this morning.”
No.
No.
No.
No.
“Brylee? Are you feeling okay?” Jamie’s eyes are wide with concern, and he takes a step toward me.
But it’s too late. Everything that has transpired over the past few days… All of it culminates into one giant pile of shit. Alpha Team X, which just so happens to be my scent match. Teddie. Eros Academy. My flashbacks. My paranoia.
I topple forward precariously, dark specks erupting across my vision.
I’m unconscious before I even hit the ground.