Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
The flight is short. It’s only about two hours in the air. I don’t know how, but I’m simultaneously amped up and bone tired.
I still can’t get over the fact that they’re flying us on a private plane.
It was surreal on the way here, and even more so with the guys beside me.
It’s much bigger than we need, so I have to imagine it’s the network’s and usually transports executives.
The interior is chic and modern, with chairs facing one another around a table.
After we’ve leveled out and can move around, Derrick grabs my hand and tugs me out of my seat.
“Come with me?”
Ivan and Grant both give me encouraging head nods as I trail behind the Alpha.
He pulls me into what I thought was a small closet, maybe a place to store beverage carts or something, but it’s actually a cramped bedroom.
The bed is bigger than a twin but smaller than a full.
It’s just enough room for one person to pass out if they need to, but not somewhere I’d want to spend the night.
In the small space, it’s impossible to ignore Derrick’s mouthwatering, sweet, and nutty pecan pie scent.
I haven’t had a good pie in ages.
“Sit with me?” He perches on the side of the bed and pats it. I prop myself on the edge. My teeth find my lower lip as I toy with it in anticipation of what he has to say. He grabs my hand and feeds his fingers through mine. “Let me talk? Don’t interrupt me?”
I’m afraid that if I say anything, he’ll clam up. I know we have a lot to talk about, but there is pressure in person that wasn’t there while on the phone.
“I’d love to talk about our past, to explain again why I made the choices and told the lies I did.
But there isn’t anything I can say other than every move I made came from the selfish desire to keep you with me, and the fear of what would happen if you knew the truth.
But I didn’t want to hold you back from finding someone, which is why I kept the little bit of distance I did.
I thought that with no real names, no revealing our locations, no telling you I loved you, you’d still be free to find someone who could love you out loud. ”
My hand tightens around his as emotions clog my throat. I know exactly what he means. I, too, held those things back so he could find someone. I thought there was no way he could love a person like me, who was afraid of everything and swallowed by grief.
“I don’t want to look back. I want to look forward. Because Ariana, honey, you’re everything to me. I know I haven’t done right by you, but I want you to know I’ll do whatever it takes to show you how much I love you. I’ll never be worthy of you, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to be.”
“You don’t-”
“Let me finish, please?” His pleading eyes meet mine, and I pantomime zipping my lips.
“I told you I quit my job. The guys are probably emailing their companies right now. I’m not expecting to move in with you.
I got us a short-term rental until we can figure out where to buy.
If you want the guys to move in with you, I’ll be there whenever you need me.
I don’t expect you to bond with me or welcome me into your home.
I’ve not earned that yet. And even if you never decide I do, I’ll still be there.
I won’t let you get sick. I’ll never abandon you. ”
“I know you won’t.”
The certainty with which I do surprises me, but I’m not sure why. He’s Derrick. I knew him before Ivan and Grant came into the picture, and I still do. In my heart, in my soul, I’ve always been his.
Does it matter if it’s not perfect? If we don’t know every little thing about one another? Can anyone know every piece of the person they love? My parents always talk about how they still find new stories to tell each other, even though they’ve been together for almost forty years.
Derrick is looking at his shoes, stuffy-looking dress ones that probably squeeze his toes. His glasses are slipping down his nose, and his shoulders are hunched over.
He looks defeated, and I don’t like that on him.
I open my mouth to offer reassurances, but my words dry up on my tongue as he continues.
“I love you. I think I loved you from the first private message, when you asked me what I was doing on a forum for a show I appeared to hate. I don’t know why that did it, but I knew that I was never going to let you go.
Those few weeks after I met Grant, when I pushed you away, were some of the toughest in my life.
I’m not meant to be away from you. I need you like sunshine.
Like the air in my lungs. But I’d give it to you if you needed it.
Every breath I take, everything that makes me me, is yours for the taking. ”
His eyes meet mine, and I almost gasp at the naked emotion in them. I’ve always loved a man who isn’t afraid to show his feelings, and this pack is not shy about it. Some people may prefer their men stoic, but not me. I love that all three of them don’t hide that side from me.
“I’m yours, Onion.” I take a sharp breath at hearing that name on his lips again. “Please, please, will you consider being mine?”
I don’t answer him.
I can’t.
It’s not because I don’t have an answer for him. It’s not because I can barely see straight since my eyes are brimming with tears.
It’s because something instinctual has reared up inside me. A part of me that I can’t deny. And I’m grateful it has, because it gives me the chance to turn off my mind.
I don’t need to think about this. I’ve always known. Deep down, it was always Derrick who was going to walk this life beside me.
And how lucky am I that he brought two amazing men with him?
He’s waiting for me to answer him, and I know words aren’t enough. I sling one leg over him and perch on his lap, luxuriating in the way his body feels against mine for the first time. I stroke his cheek before feeding my hand into his hair and yanking his head to the side.
And I bite.
I bite and hold on until the shocked, sticky feeling of his emotions blooms in my chest.
Derrick’s mouth opens with a gasp. The desperate, pleading sound sends shivers down my spine. He clutches at my waist as if I’ll float away if he doesn’t ground me.
Part of me feels like I will.
Our lips find one another, and the kiss quickly deepens, as I throw my arms around his neck. I can feel how slick I am already, and the swell of his knot bumps into me every time I move my hips and grind against him.
He swears to himself as he pulls our mouths apart. “If we don’t stop, I’m going to take you right here, and I don’t think I can stop myself from knotting you if I do.”
“Take me, Derrick. I’m yours. Knot me. I want my first time with you.”
Surprise flickers across his face, whether at my admission that I didn’t fuck Grant or Ivan or that I’m okay with sleeping with him on a plane, I’m not sure.
He picks me up and gently lays me on the bed, bracing himself with his hands on either side of my head.
“Are you sure?”
“So sure.”
Derrick, my Alpha, bends and presses a soft kiss on my lips before sitting back on his heels and reaching for the hem of my shirt. He moves with a gentle grace as he pulls it over my head. His follows mine to a pile on the floor.
He worships me with soft kisses and nibbles down my neck and throat, stopping to remove my bra so he can suck one of my nipples into his mouth.
I want him so bad. My body is cramping, aching for him, and I don’t think I can wait any longer. Bonding him must have triggered another heat spike, because I’m desperate to feel him inside me.
So desperate that I pull his mouth away from me and work at my pants, wiggling them down my hips and legs. They get stuck on my shoes, and he has to help me slide them off. Then he tugs his belt open and pushes his pants and boxers off in one smooth movement.
I’ve seen his dick before. He sent me photos. But it didn’t prepare me for this. The knot on the base is already swelling, and liquid pools on the tip. My mouth waters with the desire to taste him.
Then another cramp hits me, and I know I need him inside me right now.
“Alpha.” The word is a pleading whine.
His grey eyes flash behind his glasses as he pushes me to the bed and crawls over top of me. I can feel his arousal pushing against me, his knot bumping into my clit as he moves his hips in tight circles.
“What do you need, Omega?” Another desperate whine slips out, and I thrust my hips into his, but he silences me with a kiss. “I need to open you up, honey. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I was made for you.” I put a leg around his hips and try to pull him closer. “I can take you.”
“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should have to.” He reaches between us and strokes a finger through my slick core before pushing it inside me. I clench around him, the intrusion wonderful but not enough.
“I’ve used toy knots. I can handle it.”
A wicked smile transforms his face from soft to predatory. “Oh, you think so? I’m trying to control myself, Omega. I’m trying to make sure your first time is beautiful and romantic.”
“Don’t control yourself. I want you, not the version of you movies say I should want.”
That’s all the permission he needs to relinquish control to his hindbrain. He grips himself around the base of his knot and guides himself to my entrance. The feeling that overcomes me as he pushes inside runs all the way to my toes, a shock to every one of my nerve endings at once.
This is nothing like a toy, that’s for sure.
The heat of him as he fills me has my eyes rolling back in my head. I’m going to combust even though he’s holding himself still as I adjust to his size.
I slide my hand down my body to my clit, but he bats it away. “You said you wanted me? Then hands off. This is my pussy. My clit. You’ll come when I say you can.”
Shit, what have I gotten myself into? Do I want to be edged during my first time?
Yeah, I do. I said I wanted Derrick, and this is him.
“My safe word is red.” It’s barely more than a whisper, but it’s acceptance of what he plans to do to me.
My Alpha grabs my hips and pulls me with him as he rests back on his heels, before finally pulling out and thrusting inside me again. He starts tentatively, watching my face for how I’m feeling, before his pace picks up and his knot pushes against my entrance.
I can feel my orgasm bubbling up and about to overflow. I knew after everything with Ivan that being with my Alpha is nothing like getting off on my own, but this is next level. Every drag of his cock across the vestibule that aches for his knot is enough to make me cry out.
In the back of my mind, I know that Ivan, Grant, and the flight attendant can most likely hear us, but it feels so good that I can’t bring myself to care.
“Derrick, please. I’m going to… I need to…”
He shakes his head and squeezes my hip tightly. “No, hold it, Omega. You can do that for your Alpha, can’t you?”
I don’t know if I can, but I’m going to try. Because I want to make my Alpha proud of me. I want to hear his praise after we’re done about how obedient I am and how well I listen.
That praise kink snuck right up on me.
When the tension starts to release, I know this wave has left me. He picks his pace back up, this time resting his thumb on my clit and pressing down. He doesn’t rub me, but the weight of his touch is amazing.
“Gonna knot you,” he growls in a low, dangerous tone. “Fuck you and knot you and make you scream for me. Can you do that? Can you take my knot, Omega?”
My panting breaths are transforming into moans. “Please. Please, Alpha, I need it.”
Just when I think I’m going to fall apart, he starts pushing his knot inside me. It’s not fully swollen, but it’s big enough to make entry difficult.
And holy shit, it feels so good. My legs shake, and my pussy clamps down on him.
“Don’t come, honey. Not yet.”
I throw my head back in a frustrated groan. I’m so close. I want to come on his knot, to soak him with my slick, but he won’t let me.
Before I can whine and bitch about it, his knot slots into place, and I can feel it swelling, pressing against me and making me feel so full my eyes cross.
He groans as I thrash underneath him. “Oh fuck. I didn’t know it’d feel like this.”
My Omega nature is smug that I’m the only person he’s knotted.
I’m veering close to the edge, unsure if I can hold back anymore. I want to be good for him, to wait until he tells me to come, but with his knot filling me, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to for much longer.
My Alpha takes pity on me and strokes my clit with his thumb in time with his shallow thrusts. “Come for me, Omega. Come for your Alpha.”
An all-consuming orgasm, made stronger from the two he denied me earlier, whites out my vision. My back bows off the bed, and I pant out his name as the pleasure overfills my body and spills out.
Derrick’s cock jerks inside me, and his knot grows impossibly larger, trapping us together.
He collapses onto the bed, pulling me onto my side so we can face one another. Before I can speak, he takes my mouth with his, twining our lips together lazily. I can feel his contentment swirl in my chest, and next to it are the blissfully happy bonds of my Beta and other Alpha.
Our pack is complete.