Chapter 20 #2
“I drank a lot, couldn’t eat, and also couldn’t stop throwing up during those weeks,” I explain.
“It was awful. When I was in the bathroom, I saw a razor blade, and the thought passed my mind to join him. Except, I was only in the bathroom to pee on a goddamned stick. That’s fucking irony for you, huh? ”
Dr. Royal gets up, taking the tissue box with him before sitting beside me.
“Call me Adrain. Dr. Royal doesn’t work for me right now.”
I nod, pulling more tissues from the box in his hands.
“I’m not pregnant,” I say, deciding I should mention that.
“Okay,” he says softly, waiting me out.
“I have to be in the same building as Lore at all times, or the bond sickness comes back worse than ever,” I add. “It felt as if my heart was being torn out of me. I couldn’t help but crumple to the ground.”
“He was outside on the phone. He had an unlit cigarette in his hand,” Adrain explains. “Lore really should quit.”
“Hmm.”
What else can I say? I don’t like it when he smokes, and he knows that, but the larger issue goes beyond that. He should be able up be farther from me, but the omega inside of me isn’t fucking having it. Shit.
“I ruined his life,” I whisper, dropping my head back on the wall with a thump.
“You did no such thing. Stop hurting yourself, Marie, Jesus,” he mutters, pinning my head to the wall for a minute with the flat of his hand.
I can feel a grumble from my bond, which relaxes once Adrain removes his hand.
“Lore was dead on that table. He says he insisted on coming to this hospital on the chance that he’d see you.
That alpha loves you, and I think a small part of him is loving this. ”
My lips twitch at the idea that Lore is enjoying my “attachment issues.” If I was willing to look into the psychological side of my bond, I’d say I have a fairly good idea as to why my inner omega is having bond sickness.
I have a hard time connecting with people because of my issues with my mother and brother, so it makes sense that my body is doing this in a way.
“A whiny omega who can’t be separated from him is someone stroking his ego?” I ask, snorting.
“You’re anything but whiny, even when you’re dragging ass at the end of a shift,” Adrain says, rolling his eyes as he also drops his head on the wall with a thunk.
Sure, it’s fine for him, but God forbid I hurt myself. Damn alphas and their protective instincts.
I can feel amusement and concern coming from Lore, but I wave it away in my mind.
I’m totally fine, dammit!
“Breathe, Marie,” Adrain growls.
Sucking in a breath as I realize I did in fact stop breathing, I glare balefully at the ceiling.
“Let yourself be happy, Marie, even if things are complicated,” he says.
I attempt to cross my legs, but I’m reminded at the last second that I have my gun strapped to my right leg, so I end up doing this weird flopping movement.
“Are you having a stroke?” he asks, concerned.
“No, just getting used to being Combat Nurse Barbie,” I grumble.
“I’m gonna need you to explain that one, Marie,” Adrain grumbles.
“I have a gun strapped on my right leg,” I sigh. “I kind of forgot because of how lightweight and comfortable the holster is.”
“Huh. Why are you strapped like you’re going to war?” he asks.
Maybe I shouldn’t tell him about the other weapons if he thinks this is bad.
“I’m hardly going to war,” I drawl. I’m no longer crying now that I’m lecturing Adrain, though my cheeks are still wet. “You know who my pack is, do you expect me to play the omega in distress? I don’t do that very well.”
“No, I… Why are you wearing those to work though?” he asks.
“I’m testing out some new holsters,” I explain before wincing.
Well, shit.
“Some? Damn,” he sighs. “You really are Combat Nurse Barbie.”
I can’t help the strangled giggle that escapes, and he chuckles under his breath.
“You didn’t learn how to shoot in the last month, did you?” he asks.
“No. My brother taught me six years ago,” I reply. “Twice a month, he’d drag me off to his version of a gun range. I hate firearms and weapons outside of a stun gun, but I know the world my alphas live in is violent. I refuse to be a liability.”
“I can see that,” he mutters. “I really should have thought harder about this before begging you to come into work tonight. I don’t trust anyone else to keep the level of confidentiality that was needed.
Do you want to work at the hospital anymore?
I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to quit.
We’re understaffed, underpaid, and the hospital almost fucking killed your alpha. ”
“Well when you say it like that,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Now that I’m here, I can say I want to work less than I was.”
“Is it selfish if I suggest coming in as the need arises, but what I really mean is when I need you?” he asks before covering his eyes in embarrassment. “I think this sounded better in my head.”
I laugh, though I know Adrain is completely serious. He’d be happier if I was his nurse and no one else’s.
“I don’t mind that as long as I’m working no more than once a week,” I decide.
“I’ll do you one better. I won’t ask you to work at all unless it’s something that’s really important,” he conceded. “I’m going to pout about it though. Go home, Marie. I know you don’t need the money, and we’re decently covered tonight.”
“Yeah?” I ask.
It didn’t feel like we had enough people on the emergency floor while I was out there, but I haven’t been at the hospital since Lore came in with a gunshot wound. It’s easy to forget what a “good” day looks like when they’re all typically on fire.
“Trust me, it’s been really bad lately,” he says, answering the questions in my mind about staffing. “Please dry your eyes and blow your nose so Lore doesn’t decide I’m the cause of this.”
I know Lore felt my panic earlier. He isn’t always a shoot first kind of person, despite our twenty questions session.
I leave the office to wash my face since it’s a lost cause and blow my nose. There’s a huddle of nurses outside of the restroom whispering, and I try to ignore it to walk toward the locker room.
“Did you get fired for having an episode?” Lauren asks snidely. “You were just kind of flopping around dramatically on the ground. It’s very unprofessional.”
“No, I got a promotion,” I say sarcastically. “I hope you have more empathy for your patients than you all showed me while experiencing bond sickness. I also hope none of you lose a packmate, and if you’re single, I hope your scent match rejects you. I don’t think you deserve one.”
I continue walking despite the gasps and hisses they make. I haven’t made many friends with the nursing staff while I’ve been working here. I’m professional, I do my job, I leave. This is probably another issue with how hard maintaining friendships is for me, though Adrain and I are friendly.
I think it has more to do with my inability to deal with other people’s bullshit. I don’t gossip at work. That’s something I’ll do in the comfort of my own home with my alphas.
It’s simply how I work.
I’m annoyed as I quickly change and grab my shit. Tossing the scrubs into the bin to be washed, I stride out of the locker room and almost collide with Adrain.
“I heard them,” he mutters.
“Who’s them,” I reply, stepping back to raise my eyebrow. “We really need to stop meeting this way, Doctor.”
“Ugh, Marie. The nurses here really don’t need your misplaced loyalty. Snitches don’t get stitches here.”
I can’t help but giggle as I shrug, and he walks me through the busy emergency room.
“Doctor!”
“Do you actually need me, or is this something you can handle yourself while I walk her out?” Adrain asks.
“It’ll keep a couple of minutes,” the nurse allows, glaring at me.
“If you’re not careful, people are going to start saying that we’re sleeping together,” I breathe once we’re away from the nurse.
“Your alphas would put me in the ground,” Adrain snorts. “My sex life with a female has been nonexistent, Marie. I really don’t care what people say. It doesn’t change my ability to be a good doctor. Do you care what they say here about you?”
“Not really,” I admit. “It doesn’t look like I’ll be here to listen to them gossip either.”
Lore is leaned forward in his chair, watching the door anxiously. He stands as if pulled by a string once we walk into the waiting room, and meets us halfway.
“I forgot,” he whispers, his voice full of anguish. “I didn’t realize the bond would snap so tightly if I walked out of the building. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I reassure him, walking into his arms. I don’t really care what anyone else thinks at the moment. “I’m done for the day. I’m ready to drop face first into my bed.”
“We’ve decided she’ll only work when I actually need her,” Adrain says, gauging Lore’s reaction.
He merely nods, burying his nose in my neck.
“You smell like the hospital,” he grumbles. “I don’t like it. So no more late nights unless it’s us keeping you up?”
“Correct,” I smirk, my fingers sinking into his hair.
“Thank fuck. Those chairs aren’t comfortable. My ass is asleep.”
“Bye, Marie,” Adrain says, amused. “Make sure he doesn’t do anything too dumb.”
“He’s a mess,” I say happily, accepting a kiss when Lore pulls his neck gaiter down to kiss me.
“Well, he’s your mess now. I wash my hands of him,” Adrain murmurs, walking back into the ER.
“I’m just about healed. The good doctor can’t complain,” Lore grumbles. “Let’s go home, Princess.”
Glancing at the clock as we leave the hospital, I see that it’s almost midnight. Welp, I made it through almost half of my shift.
I’ll call that a success.