18. Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
Wren
I was warm. Cozy. A firm chest was pressed against my back, and something tickled my nose. That something smelled strongly of fallen leaves and wood smoke. Autumn.
Dean.
With my eyes still closed, I took a deep breath and filled my lungs with pine and frost, cloves, nutmeg, and cranberries, and the sweet smell of fresh falling spring rain.
My pack surrounded me. I even caught a hint of whipped cream and wondered why Doran’s scent had made it into our little makeshift nest.
Eyes flying open, I searched the room lit only by the guide from the TV for the beta who despised me. He was nowhere to be seen. It must have been his scent lingering on the furniture.
This was, after all, his house I’d encroached upon.
His pack.
His alphas.
I was nothing more than a womb in his eyes, nothing more than a breeder.
And as he’d so delicately put it, I should simply spread my legs and let Raece impregnate me to make their lives easier.
None of the others had so much as mentioned me carrying a child for them. In fact, Mateo and Dean had taken precautions so that very thing wouldn’t happen.
Maybe Doran was the kind of man we’d all been warned against, the type of person we’d been trained to please.
Well, he could kiss my ass. He wasn’t one of my alphas. I owed him nothing.
Turning my eyes back to Dean, I smiled at his shirtless torso. Of course, he’d removed his shirt as we had lounged. And I couldn’t find an ounce of anger at that. It had been the sprinkling of dark blond hairs across his chest that had tickled my nose, his scent that had dragged me from sleep. It was Mateo’s warm chest pressed against my back. My feet still rested on Winter’s lap.
I didn’t know where Raece was without lifting my head, but his scent was strong enough I knew he was still here with me. With us.
We’d all squeezed onto the couch and not a single person had touched me in any way I wouldn’t consider casual or even innocent.
Minute by minute, this pack was proving everything the headmistress told me was nothing short of absolute bullshit. They hadn’t hurt me when I’d been in heat. They hadn’t taken advantage of my hormone addled brain. They hadn’t demanded I dote on them or prove my worth in their lives. They didn’t expect me to cook or clean or any other domestic bullshit.
In fact, they hadn’t even made a big deal over the fact I’d refused to leave my personal space for a week upon my arrival.
Lifting my head, I searched for one of the drinks the pack had left sitting on the table after we’d gorged on noodles and crab Rangoon. They were out of reach. I would have to disentangle myself from Mateo’s and Dean’s arms to grab a can of soda or bottle of water.
But I was parched.
Slowly and carefully, I made my way out of the huge temporary bed and set my socked feet on the floor, then tiptoed to the kitchen when the cans and bottles left on the table all appeared empty or half drank.
The sky outside the kitchen window was turning a pretty lavender. I’d fallen asleep watching movies with the pack and slept the entire night through.
Honestly, that surprised the shit out of me. It had been a long time since I’d slept an entire night through without nightmares waking me. It was as though my omega knew I was safe there with Mateo and Dean. Maybe even Raece and Winter. Even if Raece had…
I sighed as I pulled open the fridge.
The logical side of me knew he’d marked me because he had to, because I’d resisted, because, like he’d warned, the Center would insist I be returned and made available for another pack, one who was capable of controlling me.
After pushing away those thoughts and shoving the contents of the fridge aside, I gave up and sought a glass in one of the cabinets, settling for tap water.
Tipping the glass back, I sputtered and nearly choked when my eyes settled on Doran sitting at the table silently watching me as he had the first night we’d had our run in.
My throat burned as I coughed, covering my mouth in hopes of not waking up the rest of the pack.
“What?” I asked when the beta continued to watch me with zero emotion in his eyes.
“You okay?”
My brows drew together. “I was thirsty.”
He jerked his chin. “I mean the choking thing. You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
Clutching the glass in both hands, I turned and hurried across the kitchen.
“Wait. Please,” he said, his voice quiet.
I hesitated near the hallway, ready to bolt if he started spewing crap about me doing my duties as an omega.
“I wanted…I shouldn’t have said what I said. About, you know, letting Raece knock you up or whatever.”
That was probably the worst apology I’d ever heard. But at least he was trying.
“Thank you,” I said and started toward the living room again.
“Wren.”
With a sigh, I raised my chin and turned to look him in the eye as he pushed to his feet and crossed the room to stand within touching distance of me. His proximity made me nervous, like he could hurt me before the rest of the pack would be any wiser.
“They’re good guys. Give them a chance,” he said, his eyes dropping a second before raising again. “We…I didn’t want an omega. I didn’t want to…I love Winter.”
There it was. The real reason he hated me. He felt as though I was going to steal his alpha away from him.
“But…you know, the law and all that. But I think…” He took a deep shaky breath. “I think they like you here. And you obviously make Dean and Mateo happy. Raece shouldn’t have marked you before you were ready. But I promise he did it to protect you. He just has a fucked up way of showing he cares.”
His words were whispered, yet I could feel his heart in every single one of them. He cared about his pack. He loved them. He was in love with Winter. This was his way of apologizing for how he’d treated me that night, his way of trying to make amends.
“Thank you,” I whispered back.
I started forward, but once again, he stopped me. “Are you hungry? Can I make you some breakfast?” He’d turned his body in my direction as though ready to follow me.
Turning my head toward the living room, my insides turned mushy at the sight of the guys sleeping on the couches. Dean had rolled closer to Mateo. Mateo’s chin rested on top of the beta’s head, one of his thick, muscular arms draped over Dean’s waist. Had they thought they were still snuggling me, or were they naturally this affectionate with each other?
“We’ll wake them up,” I whispered back, my eyes still on the pack.
I still wasn’t overly thrilled with the idea I hadn’t been given a choice about my life, about my future.
But this pack…they were different than what I’d been taught. What I’d seen with my own two eyes.
They genuinely appeared to care for each other. They were kind to me. They were going out of their way to make me feel like a member of their pack, even if I wasn’t quite ready to fully give myself over to any of them just yet.
“The second Dean realizes you’re no longer lying with him he’ll wake up anyway. Might as well wake him with the smell of bacon.”
My brows pulled together as suspicion began to wriggle its way into my heart. What was with the one eighty? He’d acted as though he hated me before my heat hit. He’d kept his distance, hadn’t said a single word to me since that night in the kitchen.
Now, he was imploring me to give his pack, his alphas, a real chance and offering to cook breakfast for me. Was this some kind of ploy?
But…what could he possibly accomplish by cooking breakfast unless he planned to poison me? And that would result in him poisoning his packmates, as well.
Silly. I was being silly.
Within a twenty-four-hour period, I’d woken up from the end of my cycle nestled between a giant alpha and a handsome beta, they had taken me out for lunch, paid to get the haircut I wanted, then taken me to pick out my own clothes.
Then, Raece had suggested a pack cuddle while we watched movies, and no one touched me other than in the most innocent of ways. Hell, Raece hadn’t even sat close enough for me to feel his body heat. He’d kept his distance, although I noticed the varying hints of his scent as though he was fighting his emotions.
“I’m just…I shouldn’t have said that. That night. I don’t think…you’re not a breeder. That’s not how they see you. It’s not how I see you. They…we wanted to be able to legally register the pack. And they seem to care about you. I just want my pack happy. I want Winter to be happy.” He said the last words so softly my heart nearly broke.
“I’m not here to take your place, Doran. I didn’t choose this.”
“I know. On both accounts. But you’re an omega.” He forced a smile and huffed out a deep breath. “You can…damn it. I’m screwing it up. I’m just trying to say I’m sorry. And I hope you’ll give them a chance. You don’t have to…we can be friends. Even if you and Winter, you know, fall in love or whatever. We can be friends.”
Friends? That sentiment was as foreign to me as love or family. My own flesh and blood had dumped me at the Center the day I’d presented and never looked back.
Did they even know what went on in the Center? Did they know how often I was locked in the closet? How often I was punished simply because I didn’t want to be what the headmistress and society thought I should be? Did they know I was sedated and denied any help during my painful heats?
“How about this? Let’s start over. All of us. Let them court you the way they used to before the laws changed. Let them, let us prove to you we’re not assholes.” He winced. “ Anymore .”
I couldn’t help the surprised chuckle that burst from my mouth.
“We’ll start with breakfast. I’ll cook. You eat. You like Dean and Mateo. You trust them. Raece and Winter are great, too. And, uh…between you and me,” he said, lowering his voice conspiratorially, “it’s not the worst thing to let them in your bed. Especially Winter.”
My face burst into flames as the beta basically told me his alpha was a great lay. He’d mentioned Raece, too. Did that mean he’d slept with him, too?
Conflicting feelings warred within me. Lust and jealousy. What an odd combination.
I had a quick mental image of Doran on his knees before Winter the way Dean had done with Mateo. And…I didn’t hate the fantasy.
“So…breakfast? Friends? You can, I don’t know, go on a date with Winter or whatever. And if you wanted to spend the night with him…”
If I wanted to spend the night with Winter…what? Doran would just sleep on the couch? Or did he have his own room and shared one with Winter because they were in love, and I was the proverbial wrench that had been thrown into their lives?
“Okay,” I said, unsure exactly of what I was agreeing to.
“Breakfast? Or friends?”
The poor guy looked so hopeful as his gray eyes no longer looked stormy but almost pleading.
“Both?” I said, drawing out the word as I tried to picture my life as a participant rather than an observer, someone who was no longer forced to watch from the outside.
I could make this work. It would take longer than a night full of movies and an apology from Doran to grow completely comfortable with the fact I could end up having sex with more than only Mateo, that I could one day end up carrying a child for them, for the pack.
But, if Doran could offer to step aside to make his alpha happy, I could make an effort to grow a friendship with the five guys who’d made me the center of Pack Stryder.
A tentative smile grew on Doran’s lips, and I found myself smiling back.
Doran didn’t hate me. He’d lashed out because he was jealous, because he’d thought I would take his place in Winter’s life.
That was the last thing I wanted.
If anything, I wanted what Doran offered – a friendship with the men I was forced to spend the rest of my life with according to the government.
He moved deftly around the kitchen, pulling various items from the fridge and cabinets. As he cracked eggs into a bowl, he turned with the whisk in his hand and pointed it at me.
“Oh. And one more thing – Winter is a little shy. You might have to make the first move if you want to have sex with him. But after that, after he has your permission…”
He waggled his brows, reminding me so much of the way Dean flirted that I couldn’t hold back the giggle as heat rushed through my limbs and sent a rush of slick to my core.