41. Chapter 39
CHAPTER 39
Matteo
W hy the fuck was everything taking so long? It felt as though all we’d done was make phone call after phone call. Hell, I’d even taken it upon myself to show up to people’s doors, pounding until the wood rattled and threatened to crack under my fist.
There were a few other packs who’d gotten back to us or answered our emails, but there were far too many who were outright ignoring us.
“You sure about this shit?” Dean asked the nurse sitting on the couch across from him, her arms wrapped around her middle as though she wished she could disappear rather than feel the stares of all five of us.
“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”
“Does anyone know you came to us?” Raece asked.
Her head shook side to side slowly. “Only Wren. She asked me to come to you. But if anyone at the Center finds out…” She was blinking rapidly, and I could see the fluttering of her rapid heartrate at her carotid. She was scared. Terrified.
Whether it was fear of being caught by those who’d employed her or fear of facing down five angry men who had their heart ripped from their chests, I wasn’t sure.
We had all made the decision to shut down the bond after a few days. We’d sent as much love and comfort and reassurance down the bonds first, but we didn’t want her to feel our constantly elevated emotions. She had enough to deal with.
What were they doing to her there? Maggie hadn’t seen her since the day she’d pretended to sedate her after she’d been dragged away from us. Doran still had a cut along his head and two black eyes from a broken – then reset – nose after being slammed against the wall, but at least the stitches had finally been removed.
It had been three fucking weeks and we still didn’t have a way into that place without being mowed down by the guard or arrested on the spot.
I had suggested going full on with explosives and our own firepower, but then there was the risk of hurting innocent people like Maggie who had no other choice but to work for the Center or even inadvertently hitting an omega.
“Are you able to get a message to her? Do they allow you to interact with the omegas there?” Dean asked.
He wasn’t even bothering to pretend he wasn’t losing his shit like the rest of us. Raece had had to use his bark on him several times since we’d all but been tossed onto our asses outside the Center.
Maggie shook her head and chewed on her bottom lip. “No. We’re only allowed to be around the omegas in the infirmary or with a guard in their rooms. Either way, there are always eyes on us.”
“Because they know what they’re doing is fucked up,” Doran said, lunging to his feet to pace the living room as he shoved his hands roughly through his hair.
“I need to go. I just…I wanted to do something to help. And…” She shrugged. “She asked me to tell you guys. The last report I saw was she was shutting down. I think her omega instincts are going a little haywire. She feels rejected. She needs her pack.”
Like a fucking idiot, I opened the bond enough to peek in on my girl. And fuck…the heartache was nearly my undoing. Pretty sure if I’d been standing that sensation would have brought me to my knees.
Slamming it shut, I squeezed my eyes shut and pushed the heel of my hand to the center of my chest. I couldn’t even tell you whether the pain I felt deep in my chest was mine or hers.
Maybe both.
“We got to get her the fuck out of there,” I grumbled, barely able to force the words out through the ache in my heart.
“Why would she feel rejected? She has to know we won’t stop until we get her home,” Winter said.
All five of us sported the same smudges under our eyes, the same haggard expressions from so little sleep and so many hours trying to find enough packs on our side to make a difference.
“We’ve kept the bond shut down. She can’t feel us,” Raece said, his eyes unfocused as he stared across the room.
“Fuck,” Dean ground out.
He and Doran had zero control over whether we allowed Wren to feel us through the bond. But us three alphas thought it might be easier for her if she wasn’t bombarded with our anger and fear while trying to survive and hold on while we formed a plan to get her back.
And I, for one, had absolutely no plans of letting her out of my sight for at least a month once we got her home.
Not if. Fucking when . I would burn the fucking building to the ground if that was what it took to get my omega back. I needed her here, in my arms.
Dean and I had been the first two she’d learned to trust. We’d been the first two she’d allowed in her nest and heart.
Maybe I was feeling overly possessive, but I felt a strange sense of both responsibility – as though it was completely on me to get her out – and a sense of utter failure for not protecting her from those abusive fucks.
I couldn’t do that shit to myself. If anything, we’d all failed her. Not that I would ever say that shit aloud. It was obvious we were all beating ourselves up one way or another.
“If we open the bond, she’ll feel everything. It’ll make her feel worse,” Raece said as he leaned forward, dropped his elbows onto his knees and clasped his hands between them.
“Um…you know her better than I do, and everything I’ve heard has been through gossip and the nurses who’ve interacted with her, but, um…I’m not sure she could feel much worse. I’ve heard she’s been refusing to eat. She’s mentally and emotionally shutting down.”
Growls erupted around the room, and I realized my own chest was rumbling from the sound.
Maggie looked around, her eyes wide as the color leached from her already pale face. “She’s scheduled to be put under so they can insert a feeding tube down her throat and into her stomach. It’s been done to her a lot through the years.”
“Fuck!” I barked, causing the poor beta nurse to jump so hard she nearly came off the couch. “Fuck this. Call whoever agreed to step in and let’s make a fucking plan. Now.”
They were going to sedate my omega and put a tube down her fucking throat. No. Fuck no.
“Is there any way you can get a message to her? Talk to her?” Winter tried.
Of the five of us, he was remarkably calm. But his frosty scent had a bitter tang to it, belying his inner turmoil.
Maggie pulled her braid over her shoulder and toyed with the end in an anxious gesture. “I mean, I can try. But I can’t promise anything.” She looked from Winter to me, then to each of my packmates. “Just open the stupid bond or whatever. Let her feel you. That alone will help chase away the sense of abandonment and rejection.”
I raised my brows and shot Raece one of those told you so looks.
But our pack lead wasn’t looking at me. He was still staring at nothing across the room, as though he was lost in his own head.
Fuck it. I didn’t need permission to comfort my omega, even if I couldn’t have her in my arms.
Blowing the bond wide open, I sought her again, grunting with the pain pulsing from her, then sent her every ounce of love I could. I let her feel our determination to get her home. I let her feel the anger over how she was being treated.
I let her feel my absolute devotion and dedication to getting her the fuck away from that place and never again letting another motherfucker touch her.
Terror like I’d never felt squeezed my heart when at first I didn’t feel anything back. It was almost like a void, as though a part of me was simply…missing.
Then the tiniest whisper of something fluttered down that invisible thread tying our hearts and souls together.
Although I was aware it wasn’t my own emotions, the deep sense of sadness, of agony, of that dark depression made the backs of my eyes burn with unshed tears.
My omega was hurting. Her heart was fucking broken.
“Open your bonds,” I muttered, my eyes as unfocused as Raece’s had been as I tried to focus on our bond, tried to picture her in my mind.
I didn’t feel them yet.
Lifting my head, I looked directly at our pack lead. “Open your fucking bonds now!” I bellowed, not giving two shits that Raece was our pack lead or that the little beta nurse curled her shoulders forward and stiffened at my bark.
Like an explosion, the bond blew wide open. Raece. Winter. Even Doran and Dean were there.
“Do you feel her? Do you feel Wren? She’s…fuck, she’s wrecked,” I said, emotion clogging my throat.
Alongside the devastation coming from our omega was the overwhelming jumble of the rest of the pack.
“Wren,” Doran whispered.
I glanced in his direction and closed my eyes to block out the sight of his glassy eyes and agonized expression. It was bad enough to feel everyone; I didn’t need to see the pain etched into the lines of their faces, too.
“She’s splintering apart. She’s…our omega is fucking hollow,” I forced past my closing throat.
One by one, I felt as each of my packmates did exactly as I had done and flooded the bond with love.
Those tiny flutters of her presence strengthened a bit, but it was still too weak, her presence still too muted.
I needed that brightness of my omega. I needed the warm explosion of emotions I often felt from her.
More than that, I needed to bury my face in the crook of her neck and inhale her banana pudding scent, that sweetness of the fruit, the cream, the sugary hints that always seemed to land on my tongue and awaken every fucking cell in my body.
While we were all distracted, Maggie pushed to her feet and began to inch toward the door.
“I’ll do my best, but I can’t promise I’ll get a chance to talk to her.”
Those words snapped me out of it long enough to turn to her and say, “Tell her we’re coming. Tell her to hang on. Tell her to fight. We’re fucking coming.”