Chapter 33
Thirty-Three
VIOLET
T he house is empty as I wander through it, trying to appreciate it for the first time since moving in last week. There’s small touches throughout that I recognize as Jasper’s. The picture of the three of them on several of the walls, the warm color palette in the large main room, the simple but comfy sectional that fits into the modern feel of the home while not being modern at all.
A door closes, and Dominic walks in from the garage, his eyes glued to his phone. He glances up at me, his lips tightening, and then disappears down the hallway toward our bedrooms.
Anxiety tightens my chest.
I’d thought he would be starting to at least warm up by now. Not necessarily to being involved with me, but at least to the idea of me being around and involved with the others.
Before the worry can fester, I pull out my phone and dial Faedra’s number. There’s no guarantee she’ll be able to answer. Isn’t Denver an hour ahead? It’s worth a try, though, if only to distract me from my own thoughts right now.
She picks up on the second ring, and I release the breath I’m holding.
“Your timing is unreal, Vi,” she says.
The tension immediately eases. “It’s a gift, I swear.”
There’s the sounds of her moving things around and then her walking. Her steps echo like mine do, and I wonder if the condo is loud and empty, too.
After a couple minutes, I ask, “How is it out there?”
“It’s great so far,” she says. I can hear the smile in her voice. “They intentionally left my room a blank slate, so I’m working on getting it personalized. I was thinking a soft yellow for the walls.”
I hum, trying to envision it. I’ve looked up that condo more than I’d care to admit, trying to keep this connection between us alive despite the new physical distance. She laughs.
“Would you like a tour?”
I feign innocence, brightening my voice. “I thought you’d never ask.”
I pull my phone from my ear so I can see the video as she adjusts the call. The condo is even brighter than the photos on the real estate website. And there’s definitely double the rooms as what was listed. She guides me through the place, pointing out small features she likes throughout. I can’t help but gasp as she walks into the living room. The view is fucking stunning . It’s different from the view here, where the ocean stretches for miles. Hers is a fascinating mix of city skyscrapers and towering mountains. It’s a lot like her, actually.
She climbs a separate set of stairs, and I get the impression of a damn library. Two different walls are full of bookcases that are crammed full, books shoved in every single possible cranny of open space. There’s a kind of organized chaos to it all that makes me think someone uses those books often.
“This is Jude’s,” Faedra says when she realizes how invested I am. “He doesn’t have an office here since he has one on campus. But this is where he keeps all his books.”
She walks through one more door and then blushes, hard and fierce.
“I need your help with this room,” she admits. She spins in a slow circle so I can see the entire space. It’s large and mostly empty aside from a gigantic bed pushed against one wall and a nondescript dresser nearby. It’s clearly her nest, though there’s no personalization yet. “I’m not really sure where to start with it. I thought maybe you could help me narrow down what kind of items will be useful.”
“Of course, Fae. Send me links to what you’re thinking.”
She slides down the wall of glass this room has, showing off the balcony and undisturbed mountain view in the process. I whistle.
“Are they as stacked as their finances?” I ask, grinning.
Her damn blush is even darker this time, and I fucking lose it. My laugh is so ridiculous, it sounds like a cackle, but I don’t even feel bad. Fuck, I miss her already.
“That’s a ‘Faedra Yes’ if I’ve ever seen one,” I say, and she rolls her eyes. I walk onto the patio and sink into one of the large chaise lounges that overlook the ocean. “Have they mentioned anything else about you thinking about photography?”
Her smile is bright and wide. “We talked about it yesterday. They all took the day off to help me settle in. They’re supportive of whichever avenue I take.”
I manage to smile even though my stomach twists on itself. I’m so grateful Faedra seems to have found a really good, supportive match. She fucking deserves it. But part of me is so incredibly jealous, and it’s hard to breathe past it.
“Seems like you really hit the lottery with them,” I say. I don’t quite manage to keep the frustration out of my voice, though. Her smile falls away, and she focuses more completely on me.
“Has it gotten better?”
Translation: has Dominic managed to come around to the idea of me being integrated into the pack? Absolutely not. I’m nearly positive he’d rather walk into the ocean with a fucking rock tied around his neck than be within thirty feet of me.
I shrug, trying to downplay it so I don’t worry her.
“Maybe,” I say. “It’s hard to tell since he’s never really around.” And thank fuck for that. The small moments where I’ve seen him have made me seriously contemplate the annulment paperwork still tucked into my nightstand. “Even Rylan and Jasper are getting fed up with him at this point. But they can’t separate from him since there wouldn’t be the minimum number for a pack.”
Not to mention it would break Jasper’s heart. He might like me, but he fucking loves Dominic with a devotion I’ve never seen outside of movies. I prop the phone against the arm of the chaise and pull back my hair, trying to distract myself. Even still, tears line my lashes as I look back at my best friend.
“Losing Jasper a second time will break me, Fae,” I admit, the truth both gutting and freeing.
It’s the thing that keeps me from actually pulling the paperwork from the drawer.
“I’m so sorry,” she says. “If you need me, I’ll make it happen, okay?”
I manage a half-decent smile and wipe my eyes.
Time to get the attention off of me.
“Fuck me, I’m not a crier.” Faedra laughs. “My heat must be coming soon.” The lie slips out before I can stop it, but she doesn’t seem to notice the timing discrepancy. My heat isn’t due until September.
“If you disappear for a few days, I’ll know not to panic,” she jokes.
I laugh. It’s thin and way too watery, but it’s still there.
She checks something on her phone before glancing back toward the rest of the condo.
“You need to go?” I ask.
She shrugs. “Carter’s back.”
I smile and mess with my hair some more. “Definitely should go, then. Text me with what you pick for your room. It’s going to look so cute, especially the polaroid wall.” She nods. “And send me what you’re thinking for your nest, too. Happy to help you figure out where to start with all of that.”
“Of course.” She waves bye and then ends the call, my screen dropping back to my wallpaper.
I tip my head back and close my eyes.
The jealousy gets worse with each minute that passes, but I breathe through it. I have Jasper. I have Rylan. That has to be enough.