Chapter 39
Chapter thirty-nine
ASH
I sit cross-legged on Tia’s rug with Eugene in my lap. Turns out, he’s a three-foot weighted plushie elephant, and is worth every ounce of the panic Bella had when she thought he was missing.
“I need to get me one of these,” I mutter, nuzzling the fuzz.
Tia comes in, balancing a tray of lasagna and store-bought cupcakes, adding them to the already obscene buffet on her coffee table.
Popcorn, nachos, two tubs of ice cream, mozzarella sticks, and a smashed box of crackers.
She surveys the spread, dusts her hands, and declares, “Soda. I forgot the soda. Be right back.”
I pull the leopard blanket tighter around my shoulders and inhale the borrowed hoodie Tia lent me. It smells like fresh laundry, a little like Pierce, but not as nice. Bella is perched on the couch behind me, combing her fingers through my hair, her fingers occasionally getting snagged in knots.
Estelle follows Tia back in, cracks a Diet Dr. Pepper, and hands it to Bella.
“Okay, now that we’re all cozy and have all the main food groups represented, we need to put on our big girl pants and have a conversation,” Estelle says. She drops onto the rug across from me and picks at the lasagna with her fingers. “Ash, you want to share with the class?”
I wish the hoodie would swallow me whole. Eugene’s floppy head makes a convenient shield. “When you finally learn all of it, you’re going to kick me out and drop me right back on my father’s doorstep.”
Tia reappears with a bottle of wine and glasses dangling from her fingers.
She changed into sleek leggings and an oversized shirt that hangs off one shoulder.
The fit is far too casual for her sleek living room.
I’m almost afraid to touch anything because I feel like I’ll just mess up the magazine-worthy decor.
“Seriously, there’s nothing you can say that will shock us. Out with it, girl.” She puts the bottle on the table but doesn’t pour a glass, like the wine is just for the vibes. She reaches over for Bella’s Dr. Pepper, takes a sip, and gives it back.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Estelle says, rolling her eyes.
“There’s nothing you can say that would shock us.
” She presses her palm to her chest. “I shot my first boyfriend in the dick.” She jabs a finger at Tia.
“Tia scored her first condo by blackmailing the married man she was fucking. And Bella? She got an entire fraternity put on academic probation.”
“No, no. I got them all expelled.” Bella sits up, grins, and shrugs. “They knew what they were signing up for. The last straw was when they accused me of having fake boobs in the middle of heat.”
I snort, nearly choking on my soda. “I don’t even know where to begin,” I say, voice muffled by Eugene’s head.
“How about you start with your father tricking you out?” Tia says, motioning with a piece of popcorn pinched between her stiletto nails.
“You know?”
“We suspected,” Estelle says gently, resting her hand on Tia’s wrist like she can dial her back. “Your father has a reputation in certain circles. We put two and two together a long time ago. We were waiting for you to come to us.”
Bella slithers off the couch, wedges herself beside me, and gives my arm a squeeze. “Not that there’s anything wrong with sex work.”
“Consensual sex work,” Tia clarifies, reaching for a mozzarella stick. “I mean, hell, Bella did a stint as a cam girl for a while.”
“Girl’s gotta eat.” Bella grins, peels the wrapper off a cupcake, and licks the frosting clean from her thumb. “But that’s not what’s going on with you, is it?”
I stare at the tray of lasagna, then at my lap. “It was just me and Papa when I perfumed and had my first heat. It was…” I stop, the words stuck in my throat.
“He’s been selling your heats since you were, what, sixteen?” Estelle asks.
I nod, not knowing how to really answer that.
“That goddamn motherfucker,” Tia spits, mozzarella stick poised like a tiny baton.
“Well, I didn’t know…”
Estelle slices her hand across her throat and regroups. “Doesn’t matter. You know it’s wrong. Past is past. We’re moving forward. What’s happening right now?”
“I think Papa’s in money trouble, and…” I can’t bring myself to say it.
“Look, Babe,” Estelle says, finally pouring herself a glass of wine. “If you want to sell your heat, we’ll help you do that. You can make a lot of money, and we’ll make sure you get hooked up with alphas who’ll make it fun.”
“Not Carlos. His knot is tiny and the beta in his pack? Drools. The boy drools.” Bella rolls her eyes.
“You want your next heat with a certain hockey player, don’t you?” Tia leans across the sticky tabletop, eyes glinting.
My face bursts into flames. I can feel it, the way every blood vessel in my cheeks goes nuclear.
Estelle and Tia exchange a look, eyebrows up.
The panic rises so fast, it makes me dizzy. Eugene the elephant tumbles to the floor as I shove him at Bella, and then the blanket is too much. Everything is too much, too hot, too close. My skin prickles, and I have to get out of it. I rip the blanket off and start clawing at my hoodie.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, calm down,” Estelle says, hands up, “Ash.” Her voice is syrupy, careful, like she’s approaching a spooked animal. “What’s happening?”
I can’t sit. I pace, wild, twisting my hair around my fist until it hurts. The hoodie comes off and lands in a heap.
“I fucked up,” I say. The words come out too loud. “I fucked up so bad.”
“Let’s start at the beginning,” she says, her voice low. “What’s happening with Beckett Hansen? Is he—”
“No, no, no, no,” I cut her off. “Nothing like that. Beckett is fucking wonderful. Beckett is everything an omega could ever want in an alpha. He’s kind, he’s caring, he’s funny, he’s gorgeous, he…” I can’t stop listing. “He’s perfect. I don’t deserve him. Not after what I did.”
“What did you do?” Bella asks from the floor, where she’s now hugging Eugene like a life raft. “It must be good.”
“Oh my god, I am so fucking stupid. So fucking stupid.”
Bella’s voice goes soft. “Is it his pack? Did they do something to you?”
“No, you don’t get it,” I say. “It’s me. I did this. I did all of this.”
Suddenly, Estelle is behind me, arms a vise around my ribs. I fight her hold, but she just squeezes tighter, pulling me down into the nest of blankets and girls on the floor.
“Ash,” she says, right in my ear. “Breathe. Tell us what’s happening.”
The words refuse to line up. “It’s Reed,” I say, and I know I’m not making any sense.
“Is that one of his packmates?” Tia asks, blinking.
“Okay. Square one. Who is Reed?”
“Revenge,” I blurt. “That’s what this was supposed to be. Revenge.” My fingers twist the sleeve of my hoodie until my knuckles go white.
“Ooo! I love a revenge plot!” Bella sits up straight and claps her hands.
“Now is not the time, Bella.” Estelle gives the omega a stern look who, in turn, pouts.
“They killed my brother. But they’re not like that at all. They’re not like I thought it would all be.”
“The hockey player killed your brother?” Tia is now sitting up on her knees like that will help her understand better.
“So,” I say, hiccuping. “I was supposed to go on a date with Beckett, and I don’t know, make him fall for me, and then break his heart or hurt his pack.
I don’t even know anymore. I can barely think when I’m at their house because Pierce smells so damn good.
It scrambles my brain, and I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. ”
“Okay!” Estelle claps her hands and stands. “Tia, go get your whiteboard, we’re going to have to map this out. Ash, go all the way back to the beginning.”
“Here, Eugene will help.” Bella puts the stuffie back in my arms, and I immediately feel better.
“My mom died when I was really little. Papa was always working, so it was just Reed and me. And Pierce and Liam, his best friends. They were older and made sure I did my homework. Well, that was when I was going to school. I stopped going when Reed died, and after I perfumed… And I was always chasing after them. I had such a crush on Pierce. And I wanted…”
“Slow it down. Reed died. Let’s go back to that.” Estelle sits down in front of me and puts her hands on my knees to focus my attention.
With a deep, steadying breath, I spill out the whole story. How Papa and Reed were always fighting. So, I didn’t think anything was off that night. Then seeing Reed bleeding on the floor and Pierce running away.
“So, when I was on that dumb date with Timber…”
“Who’s Timber?” Tia has a handful of popcorn, like this is the best drama she’s ever seen.
“He’s a hockey player too. Their PR person set me up on a date with him. And it was terrible, but that’s when I saw Beckett with Liam and Pierce.”
So, I explain all that. Bella wants all the details about the other omega on the date. I fear I just put Ollie on Bella’s hit list.
“So, let me guess. You saw your brother’s best friend, who you think killed your brother, with another hockey player and then you, what? Conned, what was her name—Marilyn?—into a date with Beckett?” Estelle asks, fully locked into my story.
“We really do need that whiteboard,” Tia says, sitting back down with a fresh round of soda.
“Right. So, I go on the date with Beckett, and… Well, the plan was to seduce him and—”
Bella squeals. “How was the sex?”
“It was good. Really good. I didn’t know sex could be like that.”
She slides off the couch like this is the part she’s been waiting for.
“You two can dish about the sex later. Then what happened?”
I go over meeting Liam, and the museum, and the iPad, which got a bunch of “awww cute” from Bella.
Tia asks a clarifying question about how it’s possible they didn’t recognize me.
Estelle assures her that with the new haircut, I don’t look anything like the scraggly girl who walked into the diner that first day.