Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
Jez
GAGE’S ROOM WAS RIGHT down the hall from Heath’s. Which was good, because the big alpha was still stumbling around, half-asleep. Meanwhile, all sorts of uncomfortable feelings had started flooding through the open bond.
I wanted Tony to be happy, because I couldn’t be.
It made a sort of sense that since he was the good guy, and I was the villain, maybe he could get enough happiness for both of us.
I’d liked seeing him curled up safe in Gage’s arms—as though he could somehow stand in for me with this pack that should have been mine, but wasn’t.
He wasn’t an omega, it was true. But I was pretty sure he would have made a good one, if only he’d been born that way. A better one than me, certainly.
I closed the door to Gage’s room and turned to find him looking at me. Most of the fog of sleep had cleared from his expression as he examined my face.
“You’ve been crying,” he said, with a deepening frown. “Did Heath do something? Or say something?”
I let out a ragged laugh. “Heath said plenty. So did I. It was all stuff that needed to be said, and none of it was bad.”
The furrows in his heavy brow deepened. “Then why—”
“Because this could have been so amazing, if I’d only met you three in the right way,” I interrupted. “Because if I’d just done better research instead of assuming that Adrian wouldn’t lie about something like his little sister being taken, none of this would have happened.”
Gage let out a deep sigh and closed the distance between us.
He put an arm around my shoulders, leading me to the bed and pulling me down to lie on top of the covers with him.
I burrowed against his side shamelessly, feeling like I needed to hoard as much of this feeling as I could get, in preparation for the long years of loneliness ahead.
“First off,” he began, “If you’d run for the hills when Adrian tried to hire you, then you’re right. None of this would have happened.”
I pressed my ear against his chest, feeling the vibration of his words.
“We wouldn’t have met you. Tony and Heath would still be dancing around each other.
We wouldn’t have found the baby omegas being held at the silos.
” His hand stroked through my hair. “And I would never have gotten to see what you look like when you’re making O-faces over fancy chocolate cake in a nice restaurant.
And second—why the hell do you think Knox would’ve been safe if you’d turned Adrian down?
You think Vozzina would have shrugged and decided to leave him alone? ”
I lifted my head, looking down at him in surprise.
He met my gaze and scoffed. “He would’ve found someone else to do it.
Another dupe, or just someone with a good rifle scope and a background as a military sniper.
And maybe they wouldn’t have missed. Don’t take this the wrong way, kitten—but knowing how you were living before you came to us, it seems real likely that you were just his cheapest option for the job. ”
Offense rose up in my chest, building there for a beat before reality set in, and it deflated like a pricked balloon. I flopped back on the bed.
“I wasn’t doing it for the money,” I muttered, heat rushing to my cheeks and ears.
Gage snorted. “Yeah. That much was pretty clear. Sweetheart... you have no idea how much assassins get paid, do you?”
I glared at him sideways. “And you do?”
He made a considering noise. “Never had cause to hire one myself, it’s true.
Although I might start rethinking that after getting a closer glimpse into Lorenzo Vozzina’s operation.
Let’s just say, assassins who kill people successfully and don’t get caught afterwards can usually afford to pay for rent and groceries. ”
“I did get caught,” I pointed out, ignoring the sour taste at the back of my throat.
Gage rolled onto his side, propping himself on an elbow. “Yeah, you did. And Knox surviving messed up your perfect record of successes, too. Can’t say I’m unhappy about either of those things.”
I closed my eyes, trying not to get distracted by the rollercoaster of emotions coming at me through the bond as Heath and Tony talked. Not my business.
“You can’t just pretend I didn’t try to kill Knox,” I said. “Gage, be serious. There are mistakes you can’t come back from.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Funny. You were all about pretending, that night you and I slept together. Seemed to work out pretty well, as I recall.”
My face burned hotter as I remembered that night, when I’d begged Gage to let me feel what a different life might have been like. “That was differ—”
I cut off with a gasp as sudden lust slammed through the link with Heath.
Gage sat up abruptly. “Kitten? What’s wrong? What is it?”
I couldn’t stop a moan. Heat that had nothing to do with embarrassment roared through my veins, heading southward like it was on a mission from god.
“Jez!” Gage sounded almost panicked.
I shook my head frantically, trying to play it off. “No, sorry, it’s nothing. Heath and Tony, they’re... um...”
Gage leaned down and took a cautious sniff. His eyes widened, presumably at whatever he was smelling in my pheromones.
“Oh,” he said. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, the word emerging strangled. “S-sorry.”
“Sweetheart,” he rumbled. “Do not be sorry.”
I tried to rally. “I guess they got things figured out. That’s good, right?”
“Course it is,” Gage said. “Little awkward for you, though.” He seemed to hesitate. “You want to let off steam? With me, I mean? You an’ me have danced before, and it’d kind of serve Heath right after he blindsided you like that. Only if you want to, obviously.”
Gage’s trousers were wrinkled and creased from sleeping in them all night, but that did nothing to hide the bulge growing beneath them.
I drew in a breath, mentally weighing the prospect of riding out Heath and Tony’s hookup with no relief, versus the prospect of riding Gage into the sunset while also reminding Heath that the bond went both ways.
“Fuck it,” I said, and dove for Gage’s fly. “Just... be a little gentle? I’m still kind of sore... down there.”
Honestly, if you’d asked me fifteen minutes ago, I’d have said that the idea of a knot inside me was about as appealing as a fork in the eye.
Apparently, all my pussy had needed was a swift kick of horniness from my temporary mate.
Because now it was whispering about how good it would feel to get filled up while it was tender and aching from the aftermath of my disastrous heat.
“I can do gentle, kitten,” Gage promised. “Tell you what; you lead. I’m all yours... as much or as little as you want.”
He gently moved my fumbling fingers away from his trousers and began efficiently pulling off clothing.
I turned my efforts to the cocktail dress, not giving the garment nearly the amount of respect it deserved for its price tag.
Mind you—I’d already slept in it, so at this point it probably didn’t matter.
Underwear followed, and Gage—now naked as well—rolled onto his back with an appreciative purr as I debated where to start.
Remembering the sweet torture of his mouth, I climbed up the length of his body to straddle his head.
Strong hands grasped my hips, guiding me down until my pussy brushed his lips.
A shudder of relief rolled through me as Gage began delicately caressing and teasing along my folds, feeling out my response. It was a soft counterpoint to the wild, almost violent feelings crashing through the link, and before long, I was grinding against Gage instead of brushing against him.
He let out a possessive growl, the vibration going straight to my core as his tongue delved deeper, matching me stroke for stroke.
Soreness? What soreness?
Within minutes, a shuddering climax wracked its way through my muscles. The feedback through the bond built impossibly higher, making my mouth water. I needed something to fill it, because my body wasn’t done yet—not even close.
Clambering off Gage only long enough to get turned around, I clamped my knees on either side of his broad shoulders and went back to smothering his face with my slick, squirming around until I could stretch down and get the tip of his cock in my mouth at the same time.
He gasped against my sensitive nerves, his body trembling as he tried to keep from thrusting up. I wrapped a hand around the part of him that I couldn’t get in my mouth and went to town. The hands on my hips tightened; the faint hint of neatly manicured fingernails digging in.
I lost myself to the physical sensations flying at me from all directions, wondering vaguely if Gage would stop me before I made him come like this. I didn’t think he would, and my desire not to waste his knot warred with the appeal of watching him come undone while he was helpless to stop it.
The thick length twitched hard in my mouth as I gushed another release over his face. He bucked, unable to control the movement, his tip shoving toward the back of my throat. Through the bond, Heath lost control as well, his orgasm pouring over me.
My aching need to be filled overrode everything else. I pulled off Gage’s cock and scrambled inelegantly down his body, straddling his hips instead of his head so I could get him inside me. He let out a choked cry as I slammed down, taking his cock in a single, brutal stroke.
He’d already been too close, because that was all it took to push him over the edge. He spurted into me, jerking once, twice, three times. I groaned as his knot swelled, stretching tissues that had been abused for days, but were already begging for more.
A third release, deep and slow, washed along my nerves. The knot inside me jostled as Gage pushed himself into a sitting position behind me. He cinched my back against his front with an arm around my stomach and carefully shuffled both of us back until he could lean against the headboard.
I shivered, then lolled back against him as all the tension flowed from my body. Through the bond, Heath, too, had gone soft and quiescent. There was a kind of blank awe buzzing across the connection, low and confused.
I shouldn’t have liked it as much as I did.
“What was that you said about being gentle?” Gage murmured against the exposed skin of my throat. Amusement laced through his tone.
“Umm...” I said brilliantly.
He chuckled, the puff of air whispering across sensitive flesh.
We rested together, his knot seated warm and deep inside my body. His fingers trailed up my arm and across my shoulder, pausing to trace the mark of Heath’s teeth in my mating gland. After a moment, they stilled.
“I’m gonna say something kind of crazy,” Gage murmured, his light touch still resting over Heath’s mark. “Because this whole thing has been crazy, right?”
I made a humming noise of curiosity.
“It’s just that... you’ve already decided to have this removed,” he went on, tracing my gland. “So, I’m thinking—what’s stopping us from mating, too?”
My breath stuttered. I rolled my head, meeting his hazel eyes as best I could in this position.
“You told me once that you wanted to feel what it would be like if you’d chosen all this,” he said, holding my gaze with his steady, comforting presence.
“And... we could choose it now. You could have a mate that you’d chosen, and I could know what it feels like to be bonded to my amazing, beautiful scent match. ”
My throat bobbed convulsively as I pictured what he was proposing. A mate who actually seemed to care for me... a connection that I could choose because it was something I wanted.
It will only make things harder when you have to let go, I tried to tell myself.
But would it really? Could anything be harder than going back to my stupid, meaningless life after all of this?
“What do you think?” Gage asked, worry creeping into his voice as my silence stretched too long.
I swallowed hard. Once. Twice.
“Yes,” I whispered, the word a hoarse rasp. “Yes. I want that.”