Chapter 57
FIFTY-SEVEN
Jez
SOMEHOW, WE ENDED UP in a messy sprawl on top of and next to the sofa.
I’d lost my jeans and panties along the way; Tony was naked except for a worn pair of boxer briefs.
The alphas were in a bit better shape when it came to clothing, but Knox had at least taken off his button-down shirt and his polished leather loafers.
I sat curled in Knox’s arms on the floor.
His low purr rumbled through my chest, soothing parts of me I hadn’t even known existed before I met this pack.
Heath lay on his back on the couch with Tony draped over his chest. One of Heath’s arms looped around Tony’s shoulders to steady him in place.
His other arm flopped over the edge of the sofa cushion.
His hand rested on my head, and his fingernails scratched idly at my scalp, spreading warmth down the length of my spine.
At some point, I would need to get up and take a shower.
I could feel Knox’s release dripping out of me, mixed with my own leftover slick.
On the streets, I’d been used to being filthy during stretches of time when I couldn’t afford a gym membership with locker room shower privileges.
But after only a few weeks with regular access to bathing, I’d already started to go soft.
Besides, this was a different kind of filthy. If I wasn’t careful, thinking about Knox’s seed inside me would have me trying to start a new round of sex with the alphas. And Gage was right. We did need to talk first.
As if he’d heard my thoughts, Knox drew in a breath, his purr trailing off.
“I... shouldn’t have lost control like that,” he began. “It sounds like a cliché to say that this kind of behavior isn’t like me, but... it really isn’t. I owe you an apology, Jez—”
“No, you don’t,” I mumbled, still floating in my post-sex haze.
“I do, though. I didn’t even think about using protection.” He sounded appalled at himself.
Gage had been lounging back against the couch as much as his injuries allowed, with his good hand wrapped around his swollen knot to ease the ache. At that, he lifted his head to look down at us.
“Jez had a full panel of tests after her heat, along with her pregnancy test,” he said.
“She’s clear. And it’s not like you’ve got a laundry list of high-risk sexual encounters in your past, Knox.
” He paused, his heavy brows furrowing. “In fact—and maybe I shouldn’t ask this, since it’s none of my business. ..”
“We all know you’re going to ask anyway,” Heath said. “Was Jez your first, Knox?”
I craned around to catch a glimpse of Knox’s expression, surprise threading through me.
“Not quite,” Knox said, sounding uncomfortable. “Some friends in college dragged me to a brothel outside of Las Vegas. I went along with it so they’d stop harping at me, but it was, erm... fairly awful, if I’m being honest.”
Gage nodded. “I had you pegged as asexual, and probably aromantic, too. Might need to change that to demi, on both counts.”
Knox sighed. “It seems so.” His dark eyes met mine.
“I know the scent match plays into this, Jez—and all the complications that come along with it. But it’s only since I really got to know you as a person, that I can’t seem to get you out of my head.
I hope that’s all right, after all the things I said to you before. ”
I can’t forget that you’re my scent match, any more than you can forget I’m yours. But I don’t think trying to act on that would be fair to either of us. Not after everything that’s happened.
The words had lived inside my memory in vivid detail, ever since he’d said them. I thought I’d been fine with what he’d told me. I had been fine with it.
Knox wasn’t finished, though. “You’re brave.
Loyal. Fierce, even when people hurt you.
If it wasn’t for you, Gage and Tony wouldn’t be here.
I can never repay you for that. But this feeling is something different.
It’s more than gratitude. I’ve never felt like this about another person before, Jez. ”
I couldn’t breathe. On the couch, Heath, Tony, and Gage were also staring at Knox like they didn’t recognize him.
Knox swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “If you’ll have me, it would be my honor to mate you, once we’ve both agreed to it while in our right minds. But not right away. I want you to think about it first.”
I opened my mouth to say that I didn’t have to think about it, but Knox shook his head, stopping me.
“And if you agree, I’d like it to happen during your next heat,” he finished.
I paused to make sure he was actually done this time.
“The answer is yes,” I told him.
His shoulders slumped in relief. “Oh. All right then.”
Tony was staring at us, looking so much like a live-action heart-eye emoji that it almost made me laugh past the burn of my unshed tears. Then Knox turned to him, and he froze.
“Tony,” Knox said. “I’m still figuring this out.
.. but if everyone else is amenable, and, I mean, if you’re amenable, obviously—then I’d like permission to also court you.
Romantically, that is. I can’t promise anything sexual, but I’m not ruling it out, either.
” He cleared his throat, looking awkward.
“As you can probably tell, I’m still figuring myself out at the age of thirty-two. Which is fairly embarrassing.”
Tony looked shocked, but he recovered way faster than I had. He lounged on Heath’s chest with an exaggerated look of thoughtfulness.
“Hmm. Would it involve you buying me more nice clothes and taking me to fancy restaurants?” he asked.
“Whatever you like,” Knox said.
“What about movie nights with popcorn and cuddling?” Tony leaned on his elbows and shot me a wink so fast I barely caught it.
Knox squirmed. “Yes, but I might be really bad at it.”
“You’re not bad at it,” I assured him, wriggling in a bit more snugly against his toned body.
“Congrats—you got the Jez Seal of Cuddling Approval, boss,” Gage said, amusement clear in his voice. “Holy shit. We’re gonna be a proper pack? For real? This is fucking awesome.”
“Who would have guessed we’d end up here?” Heath added dryly... but I could feel how pleased he was through the bond.
“Who indeed?” Knox echoed wryly, his strong arms squeezing tighter around me.
After the growing stickiness finally drew me to the luxury six-jet shower in the nest’s attached bathroom, the others wandered off to get cleaned up and arrange for a meal to be delivered.
Clean and sated, I lay on my back on one of the nest’s scattered beanbag chairs, staring at the twinkling fairy lights above me with unfocused eyes.
Was this real?
Idly, I slipped a hand inside my fuzzy robe and pressed my fingers to one of the matching sets of bruises on my hips. The imprint of Knox’s grip gave a low, achy throb in response—physical proof that the stoic pack leader had, in fact, been balls-deep in me less than an hour ago.
A light knock tapped at the door, followed by a muffled voice. “It’s Tony. Can I come in?”
I retied my robe and went to let him in. “Hi.”
“Hi.” He crossed to the couch and flopped down on it, staring at the ceiling much as I had been doing a minute ago. “So. Um. That was a thing that happened. Apparently.”
I went back to my beanbag, but this time I perched on it and hugged my knees to my chest as I contemplated the last few hours. “... Yeah.”
Tony ran a hand roughly through his damp hair before letting it fall. “Yeah. Except, this kind of stuff doesn’t happen, Jez. Not to people like us.”
I knew exactly what he meant. People like us. The broken ones. Society’s discards.
“But what if it did?” I asked.
He threw his hands up in the air. “I mean—I don’t know? Are we supposed to just... what? Live happily ever after like a pair of really fucked-up fairytale princesses?”
We stared at each other for long moments.
“I will if you will,” I said, before smirking at him and adding, “Princess.”
He flipped me the bird. I laughed, and a second later, so did he.
“Oh, my god,” he groaned. “This is seriously happening. No, listen, Jez... it’s really happening.”
I wasn’t quite ready to say that part out loud, so I pivoted.
“You know, you’re kind of hot when you’re getting fucked from both ends,” I told him. “Is it okay that I liked that?”
His cheeks flamed scarlet. “It’s okay. You already know how gay I am—”
“So gay,” I assured him. “The gayest.”
He choked on another laugh. “Yup. And... I thought it might be weird, you know? Seeing you like that. But when Gage started teasing me about forcing us to watch each other while they made both of us come...”
“Oh, god.” I buried my face in my knees. “Yes. That part.”
“I nearly shot my load, right there and then,” Tony said.
“I came like a freight train when Gage shoved your face down on his cock and you choked,” I told my knees. Then I lifted my head. “Maybe there are, like, gay ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ cards because there’s three of them, and they’re all super-hot?”
Tony nodded solemnly. “I will accept the gay ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ card. Thanks.”
“I guess if you think it’s hot, and I think it’s hot, and they think it’s hot—then, maybe it’s just hot?” I suggested.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was hot,” he agreed.
“We’re really going to do this, aren’t we,” I said, feeling wonder spread through me like warm sparkles. “We’re going to live with a fucking rich-as-fuck alpha pack.”
“And we are going to screw them incessantly,” Tony replied. “Jez, there is going to be so much screwing in this house.”
“Jesus,” I said unthinkingly, unable to believe that lust had started tightening in my belly again, so soon after having my insides rearranged by Knox’s giant dick. Twin prickles of interest reflected back along the bond.
“I need to go shopping for lube,” Tony muttered, as though to himself. “Lube and butt plugs. Because Christ, these guys are big.”
I pursed my lips, trying to hide my stupid grin.
“I will clean your bathroom for a month if you make Knox take you butt-plug shopping as part of his romantic courtship,” I told him.
Tony rolled his head to the side to meet my gaze, wide-eyed. We stared at each other for a beat, and then we both descended into undignified, hiccupping peals of laughter.