Chapter 17
Lo
Ireally can’t believe I said yes.
Like, seriously. What was I thinking? I mean, I didn’t even think; it was just a knee-jerk reaction. That’s all. One minute I’m sitting there, minding my own business, hanging out with Tansy, and the next thing I know I’m agreeing to go on a date with Ford Maddox.
My Omega instincts could not say no.
A date.
With Ford.
What the hell is wrong with me?
So much for lying low in Honeysuckle Grove. So much for acting like I’m not staying.
I push the thought away as best as I can, but the truth is, it keeps circling. A damn buzzard over a carcass. This is a crazy idea. I worry that I’m too much of a mess for a date, but Tansy doesn’t agree.
“Stop stressing, Lo,” she insists. “You look amazing. Thanks to me, of course!”
I take a deep breath and glance at myself in the mirror.
Okay. Maybe she’s right.
She worked some kind of magic. My hair’s soft, with those curls falling just the way they should, framing my face in a way that makes my reflection look like a stranger.
Loose and relaxed, but not messy. My makeup looks natural, highlighting all my best features, including high cheekbones that I haven’t noticed in years.
My dress? It’s simple, black, nothing too flashy. But damn, it hugs in all the right places while still leaving room for me to eat and not look bloated to all hell. Tansy knows exactly what I need to feel just confident enough.
She also knows I love food.
I tilt my head, eyeing the reflection, still not sure if I feel like me.
A few weeks ago, I would’ve taken one look at this and walked right back out the door.
But right now? The soft, warm scent of lavender and vanilla from my perfume fills the atmosphere, mixing with the heavier scent of my own skin.
I sprayed a little extra tonight, worried my Omega scent might be too strong.
Especially now, with everything swirling inside me.
I bite my lip and let out a nervous laugh. “Okay, fine. You win. I do look good.”
Tansy grins at me from behind, bouncing up and down on her toes. “Told you! You look like a million bucks. Go and knock his socks off.”
But as I stare at myself, my mind’s racing. It’s not just the dress or the makeup. It’s him. Ford.
Why the hell did I say yes?
Because he’s your Alpha.
I want to make the Omega inside of me shut up, but she’s right. Despite all the mess that’s tangled up in my head, the truth is, Ford makes me feel something, even when I don’t want to feel it.
He makes me feel safe in a way I don’t get from anyone else.
The thought of seeing him again sends a weird shiver down my spine, and not just because he’s ridiculously attractive, because that would be easy to ignore.
It’s more than that. It’s the way he looks at me, the way he makes me feel seen. The way he smells…
And that terrifies me.
The nerves begin to twist again in my stomach, and this time, I can’t push them away.
My Omega instincts? They’re alive and kicking, begging me to skip dinner just so I can sink down on his swelling knot again.
My thighs pulse with a need to be filled.
My skin feels too warm. It all feels so complicated.
But then again, instincts always are. At least to me.
Look at the bright side, though. At least my heat isn’t an issue. Which is fantastic, because I don’t know if any suppressants on the market would be strong enough to help me resist the gravitational pull that seems to orbit Ford.
I look at Tansy, who’s now halfway through applying her own lip gloss, oblivious to the war going on inside me. “I’m just… I don’t know. What if I mess this up, Tee? What if he thinks I’m a wreck?”
Tansy rolls her eyes and flops down onto the couch dramatically. “You’re not a wreck. You’re a beautiful, complicated mess, and Ford is gonna love every second of it.”
I give her a pointed look. “I’m not sure I want anyone to love my mess right now.”
Tansy chuckles. “Okay, enough of the emo stuff. You’ve got a hot date with a hot guy. Any Omega would be tripping over themselves for something like that. So go make it happen. The worst thing that’ll happen is you go, you eat some good food, and you both go home. Right?”
I nod. “Right.”
Tansy beams brightly. “Right. So, go get your grub on, and whatever happens, happens. But don’t tell yourself that you’re going to muck it up. You’ll only get inside your head and find a way to make it happen.”
Right. Okay. Yes.
I can do this.
I can do this date with Ford and not fuck it up. I can smile and let myself feel special for an evening.
Maybe.
I stand there, looking at myself one last time in the mirror, trying to convince myself I’ve got this. I take a deep breath, forcing myself to exhale slowly.
This is just dinner. Just a date. It’ll be fine.
But the tightness in my chest doesn’t go away. It lingers, heavy in my sternum, and I’m not sure whether it’s nerves or something more complicated and more dangerous than I’m willing to admit.
“Alright,” I mutter to myself, giving one last glance at Tansy, who’s still lounging on the couch with that smug grin on her face. “I’m going.”
“Hell yes, you are,” she calls out, clearly satisfied with herself.
I make my way to the door, my steps slower than usual, like I’m trying to drag this out just a little longer.
But I can’t. I know I can’t.
I’m not sure I want to, anyway.
Fuck these instincts.
Outside on the crooked, sagging porch, the evening is cold but welcoming, and the soft scent of jasmine and freshly mowed grass floats through the breeze. Some people already have Christmas lights up, illuminating driveways and asphalt with a myriad of colors.
It’s my favorite time of the year. At least, it was, at one point.
For a moment, I allow myself to remember the massive balsam fir Christmas tree Mom used to put up every year.
The hot chocolate my father would make from scratch while we listened to Christmas carols on my grandmother’s old record player and decorated the house.
I miss the feeling Christmas used to give me.
Ford smells like Christmas.
I take a deep breath, letting the calm settle into my chest, hoping it’ll push the anxious buzz of my Omega instincts back down.
And then I see him.
Ford’s standing at the end of the driveway, leaning against his truck with that effortless, quiet presence of his.
He’s dressed in jeans that fit against the thickness of his muscles and a simple shirt that clings to his broad shoulders, and damn it, the way his hair’s falling into his face, slightly messy but still perfect, makes me want to run my fingers through it.
Makes me want to grab it and shove his face between my legs.
He’s gorgeous. Of course he is.
But it’s not just his looks that hit me as a punch in the gut. No, it’s the way he smells. That deep, earthy scent of pine and worn leather, like Christmas morning, and it hits me all at once, powerful as a wave.
It’s been so long since I’ve unwrapped a Christmas gift.
My Omega stirs, instinctively reacting before my brain can catch up. I’m suddenly aware of his presence, the tension building in my chest as his scent wraps around me, grounding me, calling to me.
It’s like an invisible pull I can’t resist, and I hate how easily it happens. My heartbeat picks up, my breathing shallow. I can’t make it stop. I can’t hold it back. Every fiber of my being is telling me to get closer, to close the distance between us, and I almost do without thinking.
It’s too much. Too fast. Too intense.
I freeze for a moment, anxiety creeping in. I try to overcome my Omega, to think about what I should be doing while in town…
But I can’t stop myself. I want this more than I should.
His eyes flick to me as I approach, and a soft smile pulls at the corner of his lips. It’s subtle, but it’s there, and it feels welcoming.
“Lo.”
My heart stutters in my chest at the sound of it.
“Hey,” I reply, walking toward him slowly, hoping my legs don’t betray me and send me straight down toward the cracked pavement of the driveway.
He stands up straighter as I approach, his gaze scanning me, but not in a way that makes me feel exposed. He’s trying to understand who I am without saying it out loud. Like he’s trying to figure out how far this evening is going to go and what that means for the future.
I don’t have the luxury of dreaming about the future, though.
I can’t help but shift under his gaze, the heat rising in my cheeks. But there’s something about him that calms the storm inside me just a little, even though it still rages.
“You look amazing,” Ford says as those intense eyes of his find mine once more.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I say, a little too quickly, and I can’t help but feel awkward.
Ford chuckles, the sound warm and genuine, a sound that’s meant to make me feel at ease. “Ready to head to the diner?”
I nod, forcing myself to take a step forward. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
There’s a moment where he offers me his hand to help me up into his truck, and the electricity that sizzles up to my elbow makes the hair on my forearms stand on end.
He climbs in behind the wheel, all cool and calm and collected, and the roar of the engine only serves to enhance the masculinity of the Alpha I’m sitting next to.
He drives with one hand on the wheel and the other hand in his lap.
I glance over every once in a while, seeing his fingers twitch.
Like he’s holding himself back from reaching out toward me.
Why do I want him to reach toward me?
Eventually, we park in one of the parallel parking spaces about a block and a half down from the only restaurant on the street: the diner. He comes around and opens the truck door for me, holding out that callused, massive hand of his.
I curse the electric shock that buries itself into my skin as I take it.
“Thanks,” I say as I drop down to my feet.
“No problem.”
We walk side by side toward the diner, and as we do, the tension in my chest starts to loosen just a little.
It’s not gone, but it’s manageable. Still, I can feel the magnetic tug, the quiet ache in my limbs, a sudden desire to close the space between us flares within me once more.
My fingers twitch at my sides, instinctively wanting to reach out and touch him, to feel the warmth of his skin beneath my hand.
I don’t know what’s going on with me. I don’t know if I’m even ready for this. But there’s something about Ford, about his calm presence and the way he looks at me.
Like he sees the real me.
When we get to the diner, Ford holds the door open for me with a little grin. “Ladies first.”
I roll my eyes playfully but walk through, the warmth from the establishment wrapping around me in a hug.
It’s the kind of small-town place where the neon signs buzz in the corner while the jukebox plays soft tunes in the background and the smell of grilled food is always in the air.
It feels comforting in a way I wasn’t expecting.
Comforting.
Like Beck.
I shake my head. The fuck am I doing, thinking about another goddamn Alpha while I’m out on a date?
The hell?
We slide into the booth, and I try to shake off the nerves that cling to my skin. Ford’s easy presence helps, though. He’s not pushing for anything, not rushing. It’s as if we’ve done this a hundred times before.
“So,” he begins, picking up the menu with a smirk, “what’s your go-to diner order? What’s the Lo Marsh special?”
I roll my eyes, leaning back into the booth with a small laugh. “Well, if you want the real Lo Marsh special, it’s the chocolate cream pie and coffee with a side of angst.”
Ford laughs, a warm, genuine sound that fills the space between us. Like the crackling of a fire on Christmas Eve. “Angst? Didn’t know you could sustain yourself on something like that.”
I shrug. “It’s my signature dish. Tansy says I have a ‘dark side’ when I’m hungry.”
His eyes glint with amusement, and there’s a little challenge in his tone when he replies, “I think I can handle your dark side.”
I shift in my seat, my chest tightening in a way I can’t ignore. My pulse picks up just a little faster. I’m trying my best to keep things light, but it’s hard. Ford’s smile, the way his eyes flicker to mine, feels… easy. Even as I sense his Alpha flaring.
It doesn’t make any of this less confusing.
I feel the tension in my chest tighten again, an instinctual response that I can’t quite control.
My Omega stirs, drawn to him, recognizing the pull of his Alpha.
The air between us hums with it. His scent mingling with mine, creating a quiet, undeniable connection.
I catch the faintest shift in his gaze, a flicker of something primal, as though he’s aware of the same force pulling us together.
It’s confusing. I want to reach out and let the warmth between us settle into something more real, but the weight of it all makes it hard to breathe.
Ford’s presence—his overwhelming, memory-inducing scent—is washing over me and drowning me in the best and worst way, and I can feel my heart race as I fight the pull.
“Oh yeah?” I chuckle. “Well…”
I don’t get my words out.
The door to the diner swings open loudly, making me jump in my seat.
But I’m more shocked by the person entering the room.
Hayes.
Shit.
Instantly, I recall the sensation of Hayes’ lips against mine, the way his Beta scent had changed into something stronger and more potent than anything I’d ever smelled on a Beta before.
The second his boots hit the worn wood of the diner floor, I feel the shift around us. The temperature in the room drops by a degree, and everything around me blurs. His gaze sweeps the room with that quiet intensity I’ve always known, but tonight, it’s different. It’s sharper, more focused.
And when Hayes’ eyes land on me and Ford, I swear the entire room holds its breath.
For a split second, it’s just me and Hayes and the silent connection between the two of us.
His gaze flickers down the parts of me that he can see, like he’s quickly deducing exactly what’s going on.
The heaviness of his stare pierces through the noise, through the clinking of silverware and the low hum of conversation.
I feel it, an electric current under my skin, a current that wraps around my ribcage and squeezes.
My chest tightens, and I can’t breathe.
“Lo?” Ford’s voice breaks through the tension. My gaze is still locked on Hayes, my heart pounding in my chest, every muscle in my body tense. “What’s going on?”
I don’t know if I can handle this.
I don’t know if I can handle any of this right now.
And my Omega instincts are telling me to run.
Shit.