Chapter 12
Knox
Harper stirred beside me, her warmth a reminder of what I'd done. What I'd become.
I slipped out of bed, careful not to wake her. The hotel bathroom was too small, too confined, but I needed distance. Needed to think without her scent clouding my judgment.
The mirror showed me exactly what I feared. Wild eyes. Bruised knuckles. The same violent hands that had claimed an Omega in heat. Just like him.
"Knox?" Harper's voice, soft and concerned.
"Go back to sleep," I said without turning.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just needed space."
I heard her pad across the floor, felt her presence behind me. "You're shaking," she observed.
I gripped the sink harder. "You should stay away from me."
"Why?"
"Because I'm exactly what everyone says I am. Violent. Uncontrolled. Dangerous."
"Knox, what brought this on?" she asked gently.
"My father claimed my mother during her heat," I said, the words ripping from my throat. "She was eighteen. Didn't know better. He trapped her in a bond she couldn't escape."
Harper was quiet, waiting.
"He hurt her. For years. Used the bond to control her, to make her submit even when..." I couldn't finish. "She died when I was fifteen. Just gave up. And the worst part? Sometimes I see him in the mirror. In my hands. In the way I lose control."
"You're not him," Harper said softly.
"Aren't I? I claimed you during your heat. Just like he did to her," I said, finally turning to face her.
"It's not the same," she insisted.
"How? How is it different?" I demanded.
"Because you're terrified of hurting me. He never was afraid of hurting her," she said simply.
The truth of it hit like a punch. But it didn't erase the fear.
"I almost killed Briggs. Would have, if they hadn't pulled me off. That violence, it's in my blood," I said.
"Maybe," she agreed, surprising me. "But so is the man who held me through heat fever. Who tried to cool me down before anything else. Who keeps asking if I'm okay."
"That doesn't erase what I am," I said.
"No. But it shows who you choose to be," she replied.
I laughed bitterly. "I chose to destroy your career. Some choice."
She moved closer, and I backed away. "Don't. I can't... When you're close, I can't think straight."
"Then don't think," she said, still approaching.
"Harper, I'm serious. Stay back," I warned.
But she didn't stop. Instead, she reached up, her hand gentle on my face. Then she did something that destroyed me.
She scented me.
Soft, deliberate, her neck rubbing against mine. An Omega comforting an Alpha. Accepting him. Choosing him.
"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice broken.
"Showing you the difference," she murmured against my skin. "Your father's omega feared him. I don't fear you, Knox."
"You should," I whispered.
"Probably," she agreed. "But I don't."
Her scent wrapped around me, vanilla and warmth and something uniquely Harper. My racing heart slowed. The violent edge that always lived under my skin softened.
"How are you doing that?" I asked.
"Doing what?"
"Making me calm. Making me feel... controlled," I said.
She pulled back to look at me. "It's what bonded pairs can do. When they're truly matched. I can settle you, just like you can protect me."
"I didn't know," I admitted.
"Because you've been too busy hating yourself to notice," she said gently.
I pulled her closer, careful, so careful. "I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't," she said with more confidence than I felt.
"How do you know?"
"Because you're not him, Knox. You're not your father," she said firmly.
"I have his temper. His violence," I pointed out.
"You have his strength. There's a difference," she corrected. "He used his to destroy. You use yours to protect."
"I destroyed your career protecting you," I reminded her.
"Maybe. Or maybe you freed me from a life where I had to hide what I am," she suggested.
I stared at her, this woman who should hate me. Who should run. Who instead stood here comforting the monster who'd claimed her.
"I'll do better," I vowed. "I'll learn control. I'll be better than him."
"I know," she said simply.
"The bond... it's getting stronger. I can feel you even when you're not near. Your emotions, your needs," I confessed.
"I feel it too," she admitted.
"Does that scare you?" I asked.
"Everything about you scares me," she said honestly. "But not in the way you think."
"What do you mean?"
"You scare me because you make me feel things I've spent my whole life avoiding. You make me want things I thought I'd never want," she explained.
"Like what?" I asked.
"Like being claimed. Like belonging to someone. Like... being yours," she whispered.
The admission hung between us, heavy with truth.
"I'll earn it," I promised. "Every day, I'll earn the right to call you mine."
"Knox..." she started.
"I know I've fucked up. I know I've cost you everything. But Harper, I swear on whatever's left of my soul, I'll spend the rest of my life making it right," I vowed.
She kissed me then, soft and sweet. When she pulled back, her eyes were sad but accepting.
"We should go back to bed," she said.
"In a minute," I said, pulling her against me, needing to feel her heartbeat. "Just... let me hold you."
She melted into me, her scent continuing to soothe the violent edges of my nature. For the first time since claiming her, I felt something other than fear or rage.
I felt hope.