Chapter 1
Chapter One
Nico
I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to tame the wild curls that had a mind of their own. After getting it cut shorter, I thought I’d finally be able to get a grasp on it. No such luck. I guessed it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like it would stay after I shifted anyway.
Which was fine. If everything went according to plan, they wouldn’t be looking at my hair, anyway. I swallowed, my throat dry. If it doesn’t…
I might have arranged this day meticulously, down to the very second, but there were so many working pieces, it had a huge chance of failing miserably.
My phone buzzed, which was a welcome interruption. I smiled at the text from the alpha I was meeting.
M
Are we still on for tonight?
Such a simple text, but immediately it sent me spiraling, my thoughts conflicting and confusing. On one hand, I was so ready . After months and months of begging and arguing with my brother to allow me out of the manor without a bodyguard shadowing my every move, I’d given up on that approach and taken matters into my own hands. Maybe it had been shitty of me to go behind my brother’s back, who was only trying to protect me, but I was a 19-year-old omega who still hadn’t had my first heat. I had needs .
Needs my brother hypocritically kept ignoring when I knew for a fact he had no problem filling his. I refused to lose my virginity during my heat. I wanted to be fully present my first time, not so lost that I didn’t get to enjoy it.
Which brought me to this moment. I grabbed my phone and walked away from the full-length brass mirror mounted on my wall to collapse on my bed. I stared at the message. All I had to do was type yes. I was ready. It was now or never. Things would never line up like this again, so if I didn’t make my move, I’d never have another chance. Plus, I’d already bailed on M twice, so I doubted he’d be understanding a third time.
“Fuck it,” I muttered to myself before typing up a response.
Nico
Yes I’ll be there at 10pm
I threw my phone down as soon as I hit send. My stomach twisted and I pressed the heel of my palm into it, hoping to soothe the nerves and the guilt.
Was losing my virginity really worth betraying my brother’s trust and putting myself at risk?
I loved my brother. I really did. He never held it against me that I’d been born out of an affair when our father had cheated on his mother. He never made me feel like I was less than or wasn’t worthy of having the Diangi last name. Even when I’d presented as an omega, the first omega from the Diangi line in generations, he hadn’t turned his back on me. No, Santino Diangi, had doubled down and his protectiveness had increased to an absurd level. Santino and his best friend, Emilio, had made damn sure that I wouldn’t be looked down upon or considered weak just because I was an omega. I might be small, but that didn’t mean shit when I had a blade in my hand. Even if I didn’t, they’d made sure I knew how to take down men twice my size. It had been the happiest day of my life when Santino and Lio had taken me to get the White Wolf insignia tattooed on the inside of my forearm on my 18 th birthday.
But lately, that overprotectiveness was stifling. I never even left the manor without a fucking guard who answered to Santino directly. Yes, he had guards too—it was kind of a necessity when you ruled the most powerful crime family in Canyon Brook, and really the whole East District. For me, though, I might have been family, but very few people knew who I was. Santino had made sure of that. Besides our amber eyes, we didn’t look much alike, thanks to my mother and my omega genetics. It gave me a little anonymity Santino and even Lio didn’t have. I just wanted to breathe, to live without his overbearing presence over my shoulder.
I was a Diangi, damn it. I was part of the ruling family of the White Wolves. I didn’t need my brother and his best friend hovering over me like I was a helpless child.
Thinking too much about Lio brought up different feelings that were not helpful. I’d kind of worshipped him since I was little. He always looked out for me, but in a different way than my brother. I idolized him and wanted to be just like him, and if I was being honest, had a bit of a crush on him. But over the last year or so, my feelings shifted to something more. The crush felt less innocent, if the dirty dreams that woke me up panting and needy were any indication. I wanted him, but it was such a ridiculous pipe dream, I learned to shut it down. I was sure I was imagining the way I noticed Lio staring at me lately. He thought of me as a little kid. Besides he was Santino’s second, and my brother would likely kill him if he ever tried to touch me. So yeah, Emilio was out. That’s how I ended up on the shifter dating app and matching up with M.
I jumped off my bed, determined. If I didn’t leave soon, I’d miss my window. Both Santino and Emilio were on the other side of the city, handling business. The guard left to watch me, Carter, was an easy mark. I could do this.
Steeling myself, I opened my bedroom door, and sure enough, Carter was leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone.
He looked up at me. “Hey, little man. Need anything?”
I resisted the eye roll. Carter had been around for ages. He’d been one of my father’s enforcers, and when Santino had taken over after he died, he’d given him a job in the manor out of loyalty. But that meant Carter had known me since I’d been an infant and was dropped off on Tommaso Diangi’s doorstep. He was like an uncle to me, which made me feel even more guilty, but I pushed it aside. There was no place for guilt as a Diangi. We got shit done, no matter what.
“I’m just going to go for a run.”
Carter frowned. “It’s kind of late, kiddo. Maybe you should wait till tomorrow?”
I knew he’d say that, so I fixed him with my biggest puppy-dog pout, one he hadn’t been able to resist since I’d been a child. “Carter,” I whined, which, maybe that was why he insisted on seeing me as a kid, but whatever. “I’ve been cooped up for days. Please? I’ll stay on the property.”
Carter’s lips pursed as he considered it. “Maybe I should call one of the other guys to run with you? Gianni’s on duty.”
My stomach churned again. Fuck, I was such an asshole. Santino was going to kill me. An injury while trying to protect my father had left Carter unable to shift properly. It had been years since he’d been in his full wolf form. It was another reason why the plan would work, since there was no way he could follow me on my run. Unless he really did call Gianni. That fucker was fast. It would be impossible for me to lose him.
“Really, it’s okay. I swear I won’t even go near the fence.” Lies. “I’m crawling out of my skin here.”
Carter’s eyes softened. He was going to give in.
“Don’t go past the pond.”
I grinned. “Thank you, Carter!”
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Your brother is going to murder me, but you know I can’t deny you anything.”
Fuck, I was really going to hurt Carter if he ever found out the truth. I already hated that I was betraying Santino’s trust, but Carter was just doing his job. He didn’t deserve this.
I smiled at him. “You know I won’t let you get in trouble. If Santino’s pissed, I’ll take the blame. I swear.” That, at least, was the truth. This was on me, not Carter, and I had a feeling with even as ruthless as my brother could be, he’d never hurt him.
Carter sighed. “Alright, go before I change my mind.”
I grinned at him. “I’ll be back soon.” I didn’t wait. I stripped right then and there and shifted into my white omega wolf.
Every Diangi, for generations, shifted into a pure white wolf, and I was honestly more than a little relieved when I was one after my first shift. There had been enough whispers my whole life about the authenticity of my mother’s claim that I had my own concerns about my lineage. I think we all breathed a little easier after that day. I might not have been an alpha, or legitimate, but my wolf was as pure white as the rest of them and solidified my place when some had doubts.
The white wolf had become a symbol for our ancestors, and as wars had been waged and society had changed, the Diangi white wolves had come out on top. When the governments had toppled and crime families had taken their places, the Diangis had been there, proving they were the strongest and most powerful. The family had been passed down from alpha male to alpha male for as long as our history had been recorded, and Santino was just the latest in a long line of powerful Diangi alphas.
I heard Carter grumble about shifting indoors and leaving my clothes everywhere, but I was already more than halfway down the hallway. Father had rules about indoor shifting, but Santino didn’t mind. Emilio spent more time in his wolf form than human, so those rules that stifled him were changed almost immediately when my brother took over.
I passed some of Santino’s guys as I padded down the hallway and toward the back of the manor. They all glanced at me out of the corner of their eyes, but none made a move to stop me. They wouldn’t. There were only a handful that had the right to do that, and two of them weren’t here and another was the one who’d given me permission. I kept a somewhat casual pace, not wanting to look like I was doing anything but going for a late-night run.
Santino had gotten automatic doors installed that led to the acres of land that was also part of our estate, that way we weren’t stuck behind a closed door when in our four-legged forms. Father had likely been rolling in his grave when it happened. He’d had very strong feelings about our animal forms. He’d thought of his wolf as something he’d had to deal with, a weapon he’d learned to hone but only use when absolutely necessary. Only his enforcers had had permission to shift whenever they wanted, but the rest of us could only shift once a month, unless given permission otherwise.
Father had barely been in the grave before Santino had changed those rules. Unlike Father, he encouraged the family to shift and embrace both sides. Everyone seemed more relaxed now that we weren’t constantly fighting our instincts.
I finally reached the sliding doors and tilted my head in greeting to the two guards standing near them.
“Good evening, Mr. Diangi,” the one guard, Salvatore, greeted me. He was really young, had just gotten the insignia marking a few weeks ago and was starting the long and tedious process of working his way up. It was still weird that he called me that though. We’d grown up together.
Since I was in my wolf, I didn’t have to say anything. I sniffed both of them in greeting and then took off, heading toward the woods that surrounded our property.
Once I was in the safety of the thick forest, I took off at full speed toward my destination. I’d known I wouldn’t be able to bring a bag with me, it would be too suspicious, so a few days ago, I’d shifted and headed toward my secret hiding space I’d managed to keep from my brother and all the others. It wasn’t easy, getting the privacy to do so, but I had my ways to get away, even if only for a few minutes. Everything I needed to go out on the streets would be there.
I reached my alcove and sniffed the air, but the only scent there was mine and the normal ones of nature. No one had found my hiding spot when I’d been gone.
Relaxing, I quickly shifted back into my human form. It was as natural as breathing, but it didn’t used to be that way. With Father’s rules, shifting to my wolf had been painful, and going back had been even harder. It was always like my wolf form had known it would be way too long before I’d give into that side again and was fighting for control so it wouldn’t be shoved into the box in the back of my mind.
Now, though, I felt none of the excruciating pain, bones breaking, or the mental fight I used to deal with. My wolf easily gave up control to rest, and soon I was standing naked on two human feet.
My wolf was still close to the surface, but my human brain was functioning enough that I could walk steadily to the hidden lockbox. As always, the first thing I did was check that I was still wearing the chain around my neck. It was purposely long enough that I could shift with it and never take it off, but I still double-checked every time. Breathing a little easier when my hand wrapped around the silver pendant, I squatted down in front of the box. I put in the code and pulled out my clothes. I didn’t have a lot of going out clothes, but hopefully the dark jeans with artful tears and the grey and white color blocked long sleeve shirt would be good enough. The fit on both were perfect, and I thought I looked pretty hot, at least. I dressed as quickly as I could. This would be the easy part. Getting off the property was where there was the most chance things could go wrong.
I buckled up my combat boots and smoothed down my hair. I should have packed a mirror. Not much could be done for it now. I took out the burner phone I had stashed, cash, a fake ID, and my two knives. There were my spares, and I’d much prefer having the two that had been gifted to me by Emilio, but I would risk losing them if this spot got discovered. They were worth way more than that.
I scanned the darkness for any sign something was off. My senses weren’t as strong in my human form, but still stronger than an average man’s. I could see pretty well in the dark, and my smell was heightened. If anyone was around, I’d know it.
The coast was clear, and I needed to get a fucking move on. I had no way to reach out to M on the burner phone since it was a different number and I hadn’t had the chance give it to him. I just had to get there on time.
My safe spot was just on the edge of the border of the White Wolf property. Guards watched the perimeter, but I knew their routines by heart and was able to avoid them to sneak out.
The mile walk to where I’d scheduled to meet a driver was excruciating. All I wanted to do was shift and run, but I didn’t want to have to change again. I wished I could have booked the car closer to the manor, but that would be a quick way for some innocent cab driver to get killed.
I finally reached my destination and sat in the back of the car as the driver pulled out, watching the city fly by as my nerves got the best of me.